The beauty of dominant women
Continuing the festive themed femdom comics – here’s something from creator MyGumsAreBleeding. It’s not quite as cuddly as yesterday’s post, but it did make me smile. Santa is clearly a switch given this and the previous comic.
You can find more from the creator on Reddit, their Patreon and Instagram. I’ve particularly enjoyed his series ‘Summoning Grandmas’. Totally not femdom but fun. You can find the catchup series of posts for that here along with the latest part at the top.
Tis the season for kinky artists to give us Christmas themed smut. In this case it’s Jo (featured previously here) with a big old candy cane for Santa. I like the fact Santa has kept his festive socks on and Mistress Clause has some cookies close at hand. Presumably in order to keep her energy levels up.
You can find more from Jo on their Bluesky, Patreon and Reddit. Or just check out their collection of links here.
This comic – by Luck of the Draw – made be smile. However, at the risk of being pedantic about a comic, there is a significant flaw in the premise. As I covered in my last post, arranging to meet a pro-domme for the first time is not a trivial thing. Anyone shooting Dawn a 1 line email asking her to come by and edge them on Monday afternoon is going to be disappointed.
I guess the reverse situation would be worse. Imagine expecting a sultry domme with a party sized jar of lube and opening the door to a sweaty guy sporting a weed wacker. That’d be a libido killer. Unless of course, you’re into that kind of thing.
You can find more from Luck of the Draw at her Patreon, her Bluesky and over on Reddit.
Playing with Domina Sophie Agenoux required me to do something I rarely do these days: Introduce myself.
When I visit a city I typically play with people I already know. For example, Tess and Troy in NYC and Domina Yuki in SF. Setting up a session there just requires an email exchange to figure out dates and times. For someone new there’s the dance of references, describing interests, figuring out the appropriate dynamic, getting location information, setting limits, etc.
I have to say that Domina Sophie’s process was one of the best I’ve been through. Not only was it well organized and efficient, her session form (sent after the initial reference process) was detailed and asked all the right questions. That was a relief because it sometimes can be a painful interaction. And I don’t mean that in the fun, ouchy way.
One type of problem that comes up is very open ended information gathering. You’re just expected to send an email giving all your session information. I can do this now because I’ve done it many times before. I know what is needed and the right level of detail. But as a newbie that kind of introduction terrified me. You don’t want to be the guy with the equivalent of ‘Hey, what’s up? You avail?’ But you also don’t want to be lumped into the group sending 15 pages of session fanfic written with one hand.
The other problem I’ve seen is when there are specific questions but they’re very opened ended with potentially complex answers. For example – ‘Describe your ideal session’. Or – ‘What does BDSM mean to you?’ I’m sure some people can dash off a sentence or for these kind of questions but, for an over-analyzer like myself, I can get stuck on them for hours. I’ve got 15 years and 300+ posts here on what BDSM means to me. That could be tricky to summarize.
I think one of the really smart things Domina Sophie did was to provide example answers alongside her session questions. For example, a question like ‘How do you want to be treated in a session?’ seems initially tricky to answer. But once you’re given some examples – servant, slave, toy, object, slut, patient – then it suddenly becomes a lot clearer exactly what kind of information is being elicited.
I think a good process not only help the submissive but it’s going to create more business for the domme. I remember how nervous I was when I reached out to a domme for the first time (Lady Lydia back in 2010). A big part of why I picked her out from a lot of Seattle dommes was how straightforward her booking process was. There were tick boxes to pick activities, a low/medium/high option for experience with each and a few simple questions that were easy to answer. If it’d been more complex I might never have taken that initial scary jump. What a tragedy that would have been. I might never have got to experience amazing dommes like Lydia or Domina Sophie.
This post is another perfect excuse to share one of the images from Domina Sophie’s Bluesky feed. You can find her professional site here.
I’ve returned to the cold of Seattle after two weeks of California sun. While I’m already missing the warmth, I do have some happy kinky memories to look back on. The original impetus for my trip was a friend’s birthday, but I extended it to open up some session opportunities. Specifically, the chance to session with LA based Mistress Sophie Agenoux. That proved to be a very wise decision.
We actually ended up with three separate sessions spaced over the week. As I’ve written before, I find that a great way to play, particularly with someone new. It builds anticipation between sessions and provides an opportunity to tweak play based on what happened previously. I never want to top from the bottom during play, so I appreciate having a chance to reflect between sessions and spot things I’d like to lean into more heavily next time.
In this case that meant a lot of CBT, tease and denial, nipple torture and watersports. We were too busy playing to snap pictures, so you’ll have to trust me that Mistress Sophie was exceptional across them all. I got the adrenaline shakes each time, which is always a good sign. That’s where it looks like I’m cold, but I’m just shivering to washes of adrenaline through my body.
Watersports were a particular focus. While I’m not up for FTT, I do enjoy the objectification elements of toilet play and Mistress Sophie has a great selection of chairs and gags for this. I got to try a plug gag for the first time, which has a very hot dehumanizing feel to it.
Often this activity can be a bit of a throw away to mark the end of a session. Get tortured, get peed on and now get out. I appreciated how Mistress Sophie invested the time and focus to make it a really significant part of the session. It felt like a full paragraph in our session story rather than simply the exclamation point at the end.
This shot is of Domina Sophie is from her Bluesky feed. If you’re looking for a session in the LA area in 2026 then I’d definitely suggest reaching out to her. She’s an amazing domme and has a lovely private playspace. You can find her professional site here.
If there’s ever an attempt to assign kinks to places, findomme would be a shoe in (ahem) for Beverly Hills. There’s money, high fashion and an endless number of elegant, well dressed women shoppers whose natural resting expression is disdainful. At least, that was my observations from a day’s shopping there. Even the assistants at the boutiques tend to a bratty ‘Are you sure you’re in the right place … Sir’ attitude. It’s fun.
It made me wonder what the correlation is between findomme fans and wealth. I’m confident if you plotted interest in things like bondage or foot worship against wealth there would not be a high correlation. The idea that male submissives skew to powerful successful types is a stupid cliche that always bugs me. However, if someone has linked money to kink, that does suggest some sort of correlation. Is that often down to a wealthy background? Or is it the opposite? A lack of money causing it to become a totemic artifact? Are there more or less than the average number of findomme fans around areas like Beverly Hills? It’s not a kink I’ve ever been attracted to, so I lack an intuition for it.
This image is from a 1987 fashion shoot of Cindy Crawford and Paulina Porizkova by Richard Avedon.
I spent last week hanging out with friends in Palm Springs. This week I’m in LA, getting my kink on in the sun, with a few sessions spaced over several days. Hopefully, assuming it’s agreeable to the domme I’m seeing, I’ll be able to share some details in upcoming posts.
In the meantime here’s a visit to the past with a cartoon from 1925 (at least that is according to reddit). Not a fan of the cat kicking part, but I think we can all get behind the idea of some swashbuckling boots and the subjugation of man.
I’ve written here before about the Pornocalypse and the tendency of platforms to shift from supporting sex workers to being overtly hostile. The performer and model Ariel Anderssen has written this excellent substack article on this phenomena from her expert and insider perspective. Her subtitle of ‘On the godforsaken cowardice of porn sites’ captures the spirit of it perfectly.
I think the term Pornocalypse was first coined by Selina Kitt writing about Amazon censoring erotic books back in 2013. I stumbled on it via Bacchus at Eros Blog and this post. It’s a pattern we’ve now seen play out again and again over the past decade or more. What’s particularly insane about the latest round is that it features companies that are primarily all about pornography. Sites like OnlyFans and ManyVids clamping down on their primary business is insane. Or – as Ariel puts it in her excellent article – like they’ve been taken over by a loud, insistent, puritanical alien that doesn’t like pornography.
Most of Ariel’s content features her as a submissive, but I did find this image that has a more Femdom slant. If you’d like to see more of her work, check out her links here.
Whilst I love food and I love kink, I don’t typically love combining them. I just don’t have the food related kinks like sploshing and feeding. However, I do love this video from Contessa Klaudia Keys. There’s beautiful bondage, sadism, sensuality and a cupcake. So much good stuff packed into just a few minutes.
Contessa Klaudia Keys is a Montreal based pro-domme and Fetish artist. You can find more of her work on her site.
I’m taking a few days vacation. Posting may therefore be a little erratic. I shall endeavour not to get horribly behind my post queue.
I felt like I deserved some time in the sun away from both work and the Seattle gloom. It’s pretty grey this time of year. First week is relaxing with friends, second week is just me and a chance for some kink. Of course, if my work looked anything like this then I’d probably never leave the office.
