Humor – Page 15 – Femdom Resource

Financial Domination (alternative version)

Courtesy of Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal here are some wise words on choosing role playing scenarios.

Personally I’ve never been much for financial responsibility, as my bank balance will attest. While the tradition approach to financial domination does nothing for me, a strict lady with a cane and good ideas for managing my 401K would be appealing. Fin dommes talk about wallet raping their pay piggies. I wonder if there’s a market for investment dommes who beat clients for not diversifying their pension portfolios?

Steamy

Celebrities offering bad medical advice seems to be an unavoidable modern phenomena. It’s a bit like athletes thanking God, male politicians on women’s health or Donald Trump on pretty much any topic. I really wish they’d keep their mouths shut and opinions to themselves, but sadly that seems to be too much to ask for.

In the medical field we’ve had Jenny McCarthy spewing nonsense on vaccination, Suzanne Somers making dubious claims on cancer and Gwyneth Paltrow’s bizarre diet advice. The latest from the fair Gwyneth is particularly entertaining – vaginal steam cleaning. Apparently it’s a real thing.

You sit on what is essentially a mini-throne, and a combination of infrared and mugwort steam cleanses your uterus, et al. It is an energetic release—not just a steam douche—that balances female hormone levels
Gwyneth Paltrow

As you might expect the experts, those crackpots who waste time building expertise over years of study, are less than impressed. Apparently a good blast of steam to your nether regions will not balance your reproductive hormones. Crazy but true.

While the health benefits may not exist, I do wonder if the device might find a second home in kinky play spaces. It sounds like it might be a lot of fun, particularly if used on skin already warmed up by some corporal punishment. Just add some bondage straps to the throne and fire up the boiler. As an added bonus, everyone would finish up with sparkly steam cleaned bottoms. Just make sure it’s not too hot. Having a ‘blistered bottom’ should remain a figurative expression rather than literal.

I’m afraid that despite my best efforts, I was unable to find a suitable femdom images featuring steam. So instead here’s a man getting his bottom warmed in a more conventional way. This is from the Women Spanking Men site.

A cappuccino with a kick

Getting charged a ridiculous amount for a poorly made coffee in one of the major American coffee chains can sometimes feel like a metaphorical kick in the nuts. A Japanese coffee house has taken that a step further with the option of a literal kick in the ass. On top of that they’ll throw in some publication humiliation and verbal abuse, all for the bargain price of $15. That’s expensive for coffee, but an absolute steal compared to what a pro-domme will charge.

I have to admit that the idea of young women dressing as maids is kind of creepy to me, but that’s very much a function of my cultural background. There’s no shortage of different fetishized outfits used in America to sell products (including coffee and chicken wings). Japan even has an option for those men desiring to wear the skirt rather than admire it, as there’s a cross-dressing equivalent of the maid cafe. It can only be a matter of time before someone combines the two and caters to the niche who’d like to get kicked in the ass by a cross dressing maid.

Unhappy BDSM

I’ve referenced the Happy BDSM tumbr fairly often in the past. It’s not femdom specific, but it’s still one of my favorite tumblrs. If anyone ever fancied switching it around and doing an Unhappy BDSM tumblr, then I think this image would be a great one to start with.

Personally I think watersports can be incredibly hot, but these two seem less than enamored of it. She looks like she can’t quite believe what’s happening, and he looks like someone who just discovered his play partner had asparagus for lunch.

This is obviously from the Japanese Rose Lip site. I found it on the Felm Cyber tumblr.

Dubious decor

No matter how long her whip, or how sternly she points, I don’t think I could take any scene seriously when surrounded by that decor. She’s undoubtedly an attractive lady in a hot outfit. And I’m all for getting away from cliched dungeon shots. But that carpet, floral wallpaper and short chaise lounge remind me too much of my grandmother’s parlor. I’d never be able to relax. I’d be naked, vulnerable and constantly expecting a small old lady to pop in and ask if we’d like a cup of tea and a slice of cake. Oh, and were we really sure that was hygienic? Well just as long as your nice new friend has washed her hands dear…

The image is originally from the Only Tease site. I found it via the darksehnsucht tumblr.

Defined Lines

I featured a video parodying Robin Thicke’s Blurred Lines last summer. It turned out to be a song and video ripe for parody, with even Weird Al getting in on the act. I recently stumbled on another particularly excellent example, that I’m sure my readers will enjoy. It’s called Defined Lines and is by the Law Revue group. To give you an idea of the theme let me quote some lyrics – “Let me emasculate you, because your precious dick can’t beat my vibrator.” Amazingly it even got briefly pulled from youtube for inappropriate content, which boggles the mind given some of the things to be found there.

Admittedly I’m about 12 months late bringing you this link, but hopefully it’ll be new to some of my readers. There are leashes, clingfilm bondage, scantily clad guys, forceful women and pointed lyrics. In other words, it’s all sorts of good things.

Paging Sigmund

I’m not really sure what erotic niche this image should be placed into. I just know I like it. I guess it’s kind of CFNM, although there’s not a whole lot of C involved. Naked males are common enough in my posted images. Naked males wearing flip flops and a cock leash in the desert are more unusual, but not totally strange. But pun based domme outfits? I think that might be a first.

This looks like a burning man scene, but I’m afraid I’ve no firm information on where this was taken and who is in the picture.

Oh Joy Sex Toy

Fans of comics, sex and humor should enjoy the Oh Joy Sex Toy site. As its new reader page states, it’s a weekly comic that reviews all sorts of things related to sex, sexuality and the sex industry. Example comics include guides to cunnilingus and bondage, interviews with amazing porn stars like Stoya and Jizz Lee, a guide to strap-on harnesses and the artist’s experiences with pegging. It’s sadly low on kinky toys, with little for the S&M crowd, but it’s an informative and entertaining read all the same.

The image below is the first part of the aforementioned comic on pegging, featuring Erika (the artist) and her husband Matthew. The original is far longer and more descriptive. So consider this a small taster and click through to read the rest.

The odd little moments

I’ve had many powerful and moving experiences in kinky play over the years. Some of them have been almost transcendent in their intensity. Yet it’s typically the odd and funny little moments that stick in my mind afterwards. The giggly aftermath of play or a funny one liner during the set-up.

Last week is a good case in point. I had a fabulous session with Lydia, involving much happy moaning and floaty feelings. At one point she was doing a series of piercings in my butt cheeks, which proved to be surprisingly painful. I wasn’t shy to communicate this fact via some loud groaning, to which Lydia commented it was strange the piercing hurt so much as “…over the years I’ve done terrible things to your bottom.” Despite the intensity of the moment, I couldn’t help laughing out loud to that line. And ever since then I’ve smiled to myself whenever I happen to think of it.

Sadly we didn’t snap any shots of the piercings in question. So I’ll finish the post with a shot of another lady doing terrible things to someone’s bottom. That’s a pretty good impact indentation.

I’m afraid I don’t have an original source for this. I found it on the bossymsbecky tumblr.

Mixing work and pleasure

I’ve featured unusual scientific research on pain in past posts. A recent article from io9 continues this theme with details of 1933 experiment that lovers of CBT may find familiar. I’m proud to say it featured a couple of British scientists, whose names have sadly not entered history alongside other greats like Newton, Faraday and Darwin.

They were researching referred pain, a strange phenomena where damage to one part of the body manifests as pain in an entirely different part. They needed an easy way of causing pain and, being men, immediately turned to the idea of squeezing testicles. Also being good scientists, rather than the evil crazy kind, they experimented on themselves, using weights to apply controlled pressure. Presumably the Nut Crusher had yet to be invented. Their conclusion was that testicular pain also manifested in the torso, on the same side as the squeezed testicle. Perhaps my male readers can confirm or deny the truth of this finding? Or maybe try a repeat run? It’s not kinky, it’s just good old fashioned research.

Apparently the originally published paper doesn’t list who inflicted the pain on who. Personally I wonder if they persuaded an attractive medical student to do the job. You know, for science.

This couple appear to be conducting an experiment of their own. I’m not sure if it’s under controlled conditions, but she’s certainly generating a statistically significant amount of pain. I found the image on the Innocence is Bliss tumblr. I believe it’s originally from the Female Dom site.