The cloud knows all

Smart advertising is already pretty spooky. I’ll do a casual search on Expedia for a trip idea, and be bombarded with hotel ads in my Facebook feed. Or I’ll search Google for a kitchen appliance, and suddenly every website has an opinion on what toaster I should buy. The combination of smarter AI, corrupt politicians and the ever expanding amount of user behavior data stored in the cloud is only going to make it spookier in the future. Pretty soon you’ll post-coitally murmur into your partner’s ear that maybe next time you might be up for a little light anal play, and the following morning you’ll have a grinning UPS guy outside with a 55 gallon drum of lube and an inflatable gargantula dildo.

The reason I mention all this is not because a Canadian dildo manufacturer just got caught tracking the behavior of its users. That’s a great example of what the future holds, but not what prompted this post. Instead it was triggered by my Facebook feed advertising ballgags to me. At least that’s what it looked like at first glance. It turned out to be for the Jawzrsize – a weird jaw exercise device. As images like this and this show, it does really resemble a ballgag. So I’m let wondering – what do the Facebook algorithms know about me? I’ve shown zero interest in fitness products or home exercise equipment. So are they just being dumb, or really really smart? Is there somewhere a Facebook AI thinking “So far he’s not been into exercise, but based on that blog he writes, he is into freaky sex toys. Perhaps this is the crossover product that’ll finally snag him?” If the next FB ad I see is for an exciting new weights workout device for the lower body, then I’ll know Facebook is really onto me.

I’ll leave you with a happy young woman doing her best to help a man develop a firm and square jawline of his own.

I believe this is from the bondishboys site.

Twitter Tantrum

Amazingly, while I was posting yesterday about the kinky T-Mobile Ads, Verizon and T-Mobile were getting to a ridiculous twitter feud over them. It ended up getting covered in a whole bunch of places, for example here and here. Some people even got upset with Verizon’s line that “Unfortunately no one will hear your safe word if you’re on @Tmobile“. Personally I thought that was kind of funny. Not sure how you get offended by it.

There has been a lot of controversy in the US in recent years over rulings treating corporations as people. Perhaps those opposed to that have been going about it the wrong way. These corporations are acting like people – specifically petulant teenagers on social media. So they should be able to get involved in politics, but only with the allowance they earn from cutting the lawn and taking out our garbage. And if they don’t behave themselves, we’ll ground them and take away their twitter account.

I believe this is the model Elena Berkova enjoying some quality texting time.

Superb Owl

America had some kind of sporting event combined with a pop concert and a product fair on Sunday. Yes, it was once again time for the annual Superb Owl (as coined by Mr. Colbert).

I’m tempted to make a joke about the Falcons being big breathplay fans, given how much choking was involved, but that feels like it’d be a cheap shot. Instead I’ll focus on a couple of the more amusing advertisements. T-Mobile enlisted the excellent Kristen Schaal to spoof Fifty Shades of Grey with this initial ad and then this follow-up. I say it was a 50 SoG spoof, but frankly Kristen’s character seems way more into enjoying kink than any of the characters from that sad series.

Weirdly this isn’t the first time I’ve featured T-Mobile. A few years ago they had an ad with Carly Foulkes on a motorcycle that pushed mine and I’m sure a few other people’s buttons. Somebody in their marketing department clearly has a kinky streak.

I’ll leave you with a shot of a woman doing to a man what the Patriots just did to the Falcons.

I’m afraid I don’t know who shot this. I found it on the Femdom Times site.

Gynecocracy

One particular strand of femdom thinking that’s rarely featured here is Gynecocracy or Matriarchy. That’s not because I’m a big fan of the current patriarchy – and certainly not the very specific patriarch we find ourselves with at the moment. It’s because femdom with gynecocracy typically seems to fall into two camps: The silly and the annoying.

The silly one is the one written by men with one hand in their pants. It seems to assume that once women are in power, they’ll all want to spend an inordinate amount of time dressing in exciting leather outfits, brandishing whips and bossing naked men around. They might do horrible things to the men, but it’ll all be done in a sexily cruel kind of way. Castration may be required, but don’t worry, big buxom nurses in tight outfits will be handling the snip.

The annoying one is the version that simple asserts every household would be better off with a woman in charge. Apparently inside every woman is a domme waiting to get out and take charge. And if she seems unsure about that, it’s the mans job to explain it to her, and insist that she knows best. Or I guess insist that he knows best that she knows best. It all gets a bit recursive at that point.

Personally, I’m all for egalitarianism at a societal level, with local variations of power and control negotiated on a case by case basis. However, if you genuinely harbor Gynarchy fantasies, may I direct your attention to this post by a radical feminist on her version of a women led society. Sexy femdom fun it is not. At first glance it seems like a joke, but judging by the rest of the blog, I think it’s meant to be taken seriously. Kind of ironic that in a post that’s supposed to extol the virtue of female leadership, she puts forward an approach that makes Stalin or Hitler look like models of restrained and sensible governance. Fortunately, she wants to euthanize all the pornographers, so I guess I’ll be first up against the wall when the revolution comes.

I think this image represents something from the silly camp. It’s Olga Schoberova in the role of Ayesha ruler of Kuma from the Hammer movie ‘The Vengeance of She‘.

Thanks to this ErosBlog post for directing me to the radical feminist blog. Certainly made for some eye opening reading.

Glitoris

It’s not often you get to see a giant golden clitoris on the stage at the Sydney Opera House, but this blog can deliver the goods. I guess technically it was Amanda Palmer and Alli Sebastian Wolf who delivered the goods, the Guardian newspaper by proxy, and this blog by proxy of proxy. But whatever. All those who don’t read the Guardian or live in Sydney, you’re welcome.

The associated article has a number of interesting facts. The one that really caught my eye was that the clitoris ‘is the only part of the human body that never ages’. That seems suspect. I assume most ladies do no have a Tardis down their pants, so it’s not actually time travelling. Most clitori are probably the same age as their owners. I guess they mean it doesn’t decay with age. Although that seems suspect as well – how do you define decay? I can think of a fair number of body parts that keep working till you die. The clitoris does apparently grow over time, so if we’re looking for things that get bigger but keep working, my stomach would be another good candidate.

Anyway, quibbles aside, I love the idea of a giant glittering clitoris appearing on stage. More events should have that. You couldn’t have paid me to watch the inauguration on Friday, but if there’d been a giant glittery clitoris appearing behind the pussy grabbing pres, I might just have tuned in.

I’m afraid I’ve no source for this tongue on clitoris action.

Divine space

According to this article, the Chinese city of Shenyang has created special parking spots just for women. That’s not an entirely new idea. Some cities have dedicated spots for women with young children, or marked spots in well lit and camera covered areas for increased safety. Sadly the Shenyang spots aren’t for those practical reasons. These spots are simply longer and wider (and pinker) to make it easier for women to park in them. Apparently they (allegedly) need help with their parking.

At first glance this seems incredibly sexist and patronizing. But what caught my eye was the labeling of them – Goddess Parking spots. So maybe there’s another explanation. Maybe the city transport division is staffed by femdom fans. They’re not being sexist, they’re just showing respect. If the next rule is that male parking violators have to be whipped by female traffic police, or that the city transport division staff have to clean the parked Goddesses cars in the nude, then we’ll know it’s a femdom fan thing. If not, then I guess we’re back to ‘sexist and patronizing’ as the explanation.

Femdom Car CleaningSadly the Young Dommes site this image is from has ceased to exist.

Underneath the Mistletoe

Overwatch is a big thing in gaming these days. It’s not really my big thing, as I’m not into shooters, but a recent Christmas promotion event did catch my eye thanks to one of the characters unconventional approach to kissing under the mistletoe. I’m not going to burn all my bandwidth hosting the the associated animated gif, but you can check it out in this article. Less kissing, more punching and sneering.

What I found particularly amusing was all the responses the article listed after the gif. A lot of fans (both men and women) seemed very happy about the idea of being beaten up by Widowmaker underneath the mistletoe. I already knew Overwatch had kinky players (see this previous post), but apparently there’s a lot more out there than I thought. Even if they don’t always seem to know it themselves.

Overwatch CosplayThis image is a cosplay of Overwatch by Jannet (playing Widowmaker on left), with Lana from Ardsami Cosplay (playing Tracer on right). You can see Jannet’s facebook page here.

Kitchen Slave

It has been the Thanksgiving holiday here in the US. That traditionally means a lot of food and a lot of time spent slaving in the kitchen. I hope all my US readers enjoyed their meals and that any slaving done was of the most enjoyable kind.

husband-as-kitchen-slaveThe caption for this reads “The pastimes of …men!” I’m afraid I don’t know the artist. I originally found it via the Femdom Artist site.

So right, and yet so so wrong

I’ve been trying to avoid writing lots of posts on politics and the election. I have featured the occasional one or two, but I figure that people see enough elsewhere without it showing up here.

However, these comments today by Rush Limbaugh are too perfect and too applicable to this blog to ignore. In talking about Trump’s groping scandals and penchant for sexual assault, he said the following.

RUSH LIMBAUGH: You know what the magic word, the only thing that matters in American sexual mores today is? One thing. You can do anything, the left will promote and understand and tolerate anything, as long as there is one element. Do you know what it is? Consent. If there is consent on both or all three or all four, however many are involved in the sex act, it’s perfectly fine. Whatever it is. But if the left ever senses and smells that there’s no consent in part of the equation then here come the rape police. But consent is the magic key to the left.

This is so simultaneously correct and incorrect it seems to defy fundamental laws of physics. It’s a bit like the double slit experiment. Much as a photon can be both a wave and a particle, Rush can simultaneously highlight the importance of consent in sexual interaction while arguing against it. Although given a photon has zero resting mass, that’s an analogy that doesn’t stretch much further.

Presumably in his mind it’s better for a man to rape a woman in a good, healthy, as God intended, missionary position kind of way than for two (or three) dudes (or ladies) to fool around together consensually. I’ve no idea what kind of life experiences it takes to lead you to that kind of opinion, but I would be fascinated to know. It can’t be anything remotely normal or healthy. Somebody should also tell him that the ‘rape police’ are actually just the ‘police’.

I’ll leave you with an image I’m sure Rush would not approve of. Admittedly it does contain the morally approved count of 2 people of differing genders, but that doesn’t look like a conventional sex act. God created woman as a helper, not to ride man around like a beast. No matter how much fun it looks.

rideBased on this Italian Marie Claire article, I believe this image is from the site c.a.p. 74024.

Oh, and that double meaning in the post title? Totally intended.