Container

Mistress Jadis Ives posted something to Bluesky that gave me pause for thought…

One of the benefits of sessioning with a ProDomme is that it can provide a clean container for your D/s desires that does not impact the rest of your life.

I found that interesting because – while I get the logic – it’s not at all how I see my sessions. For me, visiting a pro-domme unlocked a part of myself that could then grow and extend into my life. It ceased to be an internal fantasy and became real. After my first sessions I began reading about BDSM more widely, started this blog, travelled to cities to play with new people, came out to a subset of my friends, etc. In many ways it felt the reverse of this quote, where sessioning allowed me to take my D/s desires out of their container and into the world.

That’s not say Mistress Jadis Ives is wrong! I’m sure there are a lot of people for whom this very much does apply. Which makes me curious what the more common experience among pro-domme clients is. Do most compartmentalize? I’m single and pretty independent, so I don’t have strict lines of demarcation to draw. If I was married to a non-kinky partner, maybe I’d feel differently.

Of course, I couldn’t do a post on dommes and containers, without featuring the literal version. This is from Warsaw Prison and their Prison Stay experience. I love the solidity of that container.

The Bad Wife

My last post was a one-off ‘fetish or fashion?’ special. Thanks to those who commented and I hope it was a fun one to guess at. The answer is: Fetish! Although I think it would be perfectly at home in a fashion magazine. The source is Natalie Noir who posted it here. Using photographs from Natalie in these kind of posts is a bit of a cheat code. Almost anything she posts is beautiful with great fashion and fetish vibes (as previously featured).

I thought it’d be good to complement the last ‘fetish but could be fashion’ image with a reverse example. This is the actress Julianna Margulies as featured in Harpers Magazine in 2011 under the title ‘The Bad Wife’. That’s obviously a play on her TV show ‘The Good Wife‘. I’m sure for a lot of readers we’d happily swap the good for the bad here.

Fetish or Fashion (one off)

Longtime readers may remember my occasional series entitled ‘fetish or fashion?’ It’s where I post a series of images and ask people to guess if they’re from a fetish or fashion context. You can see the last series starting here and ending here.

I don’t have time to run a full series right now. However, I stumbled across this image recently and thought it’d make a fun one-off post. Is this fashion or fetish? The answer tomorrow!

ForteFemme

If you’re a woman in the San Francisco Bay Area and interested in learning more about dominance then you might want to consider ForteFemme. It’s a weekend long (Nov 14-16) intense class for 9 women interested in exploring dominance and femme empowerment.

I realize that this probably isn’t relevant to 99.9% of my readers, but I figure there’s a chance it may resonate with someone (or someone you know) out there. It’s run by Midori, who has a deep and impressive background in kink and education. In fact I featured a link to this same course being run by her back in 2016! On her Bluesky feed she gave this description of it.

ForteFemme doesn’t teach you how to be dominant. We help you discover how to find your appetite and give it permission to express itself ethically & artfully. Because the world doesn’t need another carbon copy—it needs your authentic expression of power and pleasure.

Mad Science

Here’s another image to continue the theme of intense, equipment heavy sessions. This time it’s one that popped up on my Bluesky feed from Odette Engle. I’ve seen and enjoyed vacuum powered penis milking devices like that before, but the vacuum bra set-up is unusual and new to me. The boots with individual toes and the finger bondage set-up is also very cool. Looks like a great set-up to be the center of.

This was sourced from Odette Engle’s Bluesky feed. She’s an SF based pro-domme. You can find her professional site here and her Clips Store here.

Kinky Shitposting

A random image shitpost about Jordan Peterson put a smile on my face tonight. Not so much for the post itself but for the content featured.

The image in question is this one, which popped up for me on reddit. It’s riffing on a recent story from his daughter about him being sick and calling back to his confused take on a milking porn scene.

What made me smile wasn’t the story per so, although I think it is a quality shitpost. It was that I recognized the lady in it as Mistress Miranda. In fact I’ve sessioned with her in the past and even featured some shots of myself in a remarkable similar set-up to that in this image (for example here and here). It’s funny to read the reddit comments wondering what the hell is going on in that shot. For me, it just brings back happy kinky memories!

This is Mistress Miranda with some of the wonderful equipment from her BDSM laboratory. She’s London based and well worth visiting if you’re in the UK.

Another Annual Tradition

Posting about Loctober reminded me there was another tradition in the femdom world for this time of year – The Femdom Ball as organized by the Nubian Matriarch.

I’ve featured this many times in the past (for example 2023, 2019 and 2017). It always looks like a fun event and I love some of the photographs that come from it. A few favorites this year included.

I’ll finish with one that I thought was particularly eye catching. This is Ōkimi Rei Yamazawa, wearing a stunning dress that I think pairs beautifully with her body art. I know that femdom is often about putting women figuratively on pillars for worship, but this look wouldn’t seem out of place on a literal one.

Ōkimi Rei Yamazawa is a San Francisco based pro-domme. The image was sourced via this post.

You can find more photographs of the Femdom Ball via their social media feed.

Annual Tradition

It’s the tenth month of the year, which can mean only one thing in Femdom social media. Lots of posts about Loctober.

I’d be fascinated to know how many submissives actually participate in it versus how many dommes advertise it. My instinct is that there’s a lot more of the latter than the former. However, regardless of the actual numbers, if you are participating then the very best of luck. May your October be full of frustration, denial and unmet urges.

This image is from Adreena Winters back in 2023. She’s clearly a fan of the tradition, recently publishing a video on it and a blogpost.

Heavy Bondage with Mistress Tess (Part 2)

Here’s the second and final post covering my recent bondage shenanigans with Mistress Tess. Much fun was had.

One of the great things about Mistress Tess’s space is the variety of furniture she has, which gives a lot of interesting options. In part 1 (here) I talked about bondage on a chair and a bench. The next set-up we did was on her poster bed, but with a firm board laid out across it. She adopted a different bondage style here – using straps and ropes in a tension with each other. Rather than being encased and strapped down I felt exposed, caught in a tight web that pulled me sideways and inward simultaneously (pic 1). I also got to wear some very sexy boots for this scene (pic 2). With the bondage in place it was time for some nipple torture, with the clamps tied off to the posts of the bed (pic 3). Needles also made an appearance, puncturing another delicate part of my anatomy (pic 4). While the needles look more fearsome, it’s the clamps that really bring the ouch.

For the final scenes I only have a couple of shots each, but I think they give a pretty good idea of what was involved.

We did a scene with a leather body bag, a plethora of straps and some rope under a great deal of tension (pic 5). One thing Mistress Tess has a knack for is taking what seems like incredibly tight bondage and making it tighter in ways you never expected. In this case that was done by taking a long rope through clips on the side of the bag and weaving it back and forth corset-like underneath the table (pic 6). As that gradually got tighter it pulled me down and out against the surface, making me almost feel like I was one with the furniture.

The final scene was on a leather recliner, featuring a beautiful leather straightjacket for my arms and a lot more padlocks (pic 7). My legs were wrapped in leather splints and the feet in leather booties that wrapped back and down, pulling the feet out straight (pic 8). The twist in the tail here was that the recliner seat was motorized, so slightly raising it from the horizontal position shifted the tension in the bondage and stretched me out.

An element of the sessions that photographs can’t capture is Mistress Tess’s skill in riffing on a fantasy scenario. She can take a button pushing topic and spin verbal flights of fancy alongside all the bondage and the pain. As someone who generally sucks at playing his part in a roleplay, I really appreciate that skill. It adds a whole new layer to the session.

My thanks go out to Mistress Tess for crafting such a fabulous set of scenes. Between her incredibly work and my scenes with the equally amazing Troy Orleans, I was a very lucky submissive.

This image of Mistress Tess is from her website. If you’re in the NYC area and interested in experiencing her creativity for yourself, then definitely check it out.

Heavy Bondage with Mistress Tess (Part 1)

I’ve finally had time to sit down and write up a few details from my amazing session time with Mistress Tess. As the post title suggests we did a lot of heavy bondage, with nipple torture, CBT and tease+denial added for extra piquancy. There were a lot of different set-ups involved, so I can only capture a few highlights here.

We started in a heavy metal bondage chair (pic 1). This was perhaps one of the lighter bondage set-ups, but there was still lots of heavy straps, plastic wrap and bondage shoes with high heels. Moving wasn’t an option (pic 2). With immobility assured, Mistress Tess added some pain, with a line of clips across the chest (pic 3) and a prickly Scott Paul pin wheel (see pic 4).  The bruising from the clips stayed for some days afterwards. What I love about this chair is it makes you both comfortable and vulnerable. I could relax back into the bondage while the spread leg design allowed Mistress Tess to lean in and get really into my face (pic 5). It’s objectifying and intimate all at the same time.

From there we moved to a bench set-up with a lot of straps and padlocks involved (pic 6). My arms here are in leather sleeves and the feet held with an interesting en-pointe bondage strap ‘shoe’. I love all the little locks here (pic 7). Not strictly necessary to hold me in place, but very sexy.  The clip marks on my chest from the chair setup are still visible (pic 8). To add an extra frisson to the proceedings Mistress Tess then pulled out some electrical toys and a locking Kali’s teeth (pic 9). This was probably the most painful thing we did, with the marks from the crocodile clips still visible a week or so later (pic 10). The Kali teeth device is particularly problematic one for a masochist as I’ve written before. I was deep into subspace at this point, with adrenaline just washing through me (pic 11). I think I was shaking like a leaf when everything was finally removed.

I’ll save the remain shots for a follow-up post tomorrow. To finish this one, I’ll feature a great artist as portrayed by another great artist.

This is of course Mistress Tess as drawn by the inimitable Sardax.