Pro-domme – Page 40 – Femdom Resource

Me, me, me also …

Mistress T’s blog is always entertaining to read, but her last couple of posts have been particularly intriguing. The first was a list of qualities she looked for in a potential mate and an invitation for any guys who matched up to email her. This struck me as a post likely to attract both attention and a wide range of responses. As Mistress Eleise de Lacy recently wrote and I’ve posted on in the past, the online dating story for dominant women is not a pretty one. I’m sure that it’s only a small fraction of men that ruin it for the rest of us. However, with 3 billion men in the world, even if only 1% are interested in dominant women, and only 1% of those are idiots, that’s still 300,000 socially challenged males to deal with.

I was fully expecting to see a follow-up post where Mistress T tried to inject a little reality into the responses. Something along the lines of – “200 lbs and 5’5″ does not equal fairly fit. Please stop sending me cock shots. A job as drummer for a Winger cover band does not equally financially secure, particularly if you’re still living in your parent’s basement. I am very sure that the act of fucking you will not suddenly turn me monogamous. And seriously, enough with the cock shots.”

Sure enough, there was a follow-up post, which mentioned the record amount of feedback the original post generated. However,what really amazed me was that some guys thought the criteria she laid out was too strict. I’m slightly surprised that anyone would think that, as it’s a very reasonable list of requirements. I’m even more surprised that some guys would be self-critical enough to understand that they didn’t make the bar. After all doesn’t everyone think they’re smart, witty and great in bed? I mean I know I am, but a lot of other guys can be strangely delusional about stuff like that, poor chaps.

Sadly I live in Seattle, which looks close to Vancouver if you use an atlas and squint, but in reality is a few hours away via the joy of Interstate 5. On the plus side, this post does give me an excuse to feature a few pictures of Mistress T. The first two I picked for her very entertaining expressions. The last because she looks wonderful in it and it’s nice to feature something non-explicit or kinky now and again. You can see a lot more of her at her main site.

Oh, and the post title? Taken from this appropriate scene, in one of my favorite movies. Andie Macdowell is a tough woman to please.

An odd contraption

Here’s an interesting piece of dungeon furniture I’ve not seen before. It has a Victorian steampunk feel to it. All heavy metal, hinges and exposed engineering. I like both the look and the utility of it.

The owner of this odd but interesting contraption is the beautiful Mistress Aika, a pro-domme based out of London. You can see more of it and her on her preview page.

Femdom image updates

I’ve done some work on the Femdom Image page. Specifically I’ve removed a few dead or dormant sites, and added the following ones:

Hopefully there should be a little bit of something for everyone on those tumblr’s.

The image below comes via the newly added Femdomcore tumblr. There’s no attribution but I believe that’s Mistress Shae, a pro-domme based in Southern California. I’ve never sessioned with her, but she has an excellent reputation as a very skilled domme.

Needles with Inga Larsson

I mentioned in an earlier post that I got to play with two different dommes while I was down in LA. I’ve already talked a little about the session I did with Cynthia Stone. The other session that I was lucky enough to experience was with Inga Larsson.

At this point it would be customary for me to say a little bit about Mistress Larsson. However, in this case I can fall back on a much more reputably source for that than myself, namely Miss Troy Orleans. I noticed she had a few things to say about Inga in a recent post, and I couldn’t agree with her more…

I’m trying not to call her “stunning” or “gorgeous” because every one does and as true as it is, to start there does this talented domme (did I mention she was trained by Simone Justice AND Isabella Sinclaire and has also been studying bondage with me?) a disservice. But, go ahead, be taken in by her beauty…and end up having an extraordinary BDSM experience with one of my favorite up-and-coming dommes.
Troy Orleans, on Inga Larsson

In my case the extraordinary BDSM experience featured nipple/cock/ball torture, spanking, flogging, bondage and needles. We didn’t get any shots of the first few activities, but we did capture some good ones of the play piercings. If you’re not keen on seeing close up shots of needles and genitals then I’d advise not clicking any of the picture links below.

She started with some nipple piercing (picture 1). From a wince inducing perspective this is probably the mildest shot, but in terms of pain was actually the worst. I believe the needles are 18 gauge. From there she moved down to the cock and did a cool needle and rope arrangement to create a corset effect (picture 2 and picture 3). Note that this session took place exactly one day before I played with Mistress Stone, and so the genital shaving I talked about a few days ago had yet to happen. The final step was to use the rope to connect all the piercings together (picture 4 and picture 5). This creates a very interesting tension on the body, pulling the skin taut in unexpected ways. Being tied to your own skin is quite strange, as I’ve written about before (warning more needle images).

It was a great session and my thanks go to Inga both for the sessions itself and for snapping these shots. Tempted though I am to finish the post with a close-up picture of my junk, I’ll spare everyone that, and instead treat you to a couple of pictures of Inga Larsson herself. Should you be in the Los Angeles area and wish to experience her beauty and skill for yourself, then her FAQ and contact information is here.

Prickly

I’m back in Seattle and feeling a bit prickly. This isn’t slang for a bizarre new sexual practice, or a skin disease I picked up from a dirty airplane toilet, but the result of the last session I did in LA before returning home. It was with Mistress Cynthia Stone, a very beautiful and talented domme. She has an extremely direct, forceful and natural style of play. Some dommes, particularly in a first session with an unknown submissive, can come across as a touch scripted and task orientated. They’ll want to work through the list of agreed activities over the prescribed time. This doesn’t necessarily mean the activities won’t be fun, or the session will be bad, but it can emphasize the artificial aspect of the play. A sense that something is being done to you, rather than with you.

This is never an issue when I play with Lydia in Seattle. She has a very instinctive style, working from a plan but improvising as necessary, adapting to the submissive’s reactions. Mistress Stone seemed to play in a very similar fashion, working around a set of ideas, but in a loose natural way. My prickles are a result of her improvisation, and her momentary annoyance at what she described as ‘the pelt’ around my cock and balls. It was interfering with her desire to shove needles into them, and before I knew it, a razor had been produced. Five minutes later and ‘the boys’ were doing their best Kojak impression. Her piercing play was much enhanced and I’m now left with an interesting rasping noise every time I cross my legs.

The shaving in the image below is happening a few feet higher than mine was, but I think it’s an appropriate image all the same. Sitting back and offering your throat to a straight razor definitely has trust and submission aspects. Not to mention that Mistress Stone threatened to bring her straight razor along for the next time she wants to give me a trim.

I came across this image originally on the Real Dominant Women tumblr.

Schoolgirl fantasies

The comic below is from Nic Buxom’s site. It’s one of those sites that I find and then wonder how I’ve never discovered it before. She’s a professional dominatrix, but also worked as a pro-sub, and has written a large number of amusing and perceptive comics from the inside of the professional BDSM world. I spent a happy couple of hours working forward in time from this, her first comic, to the more recent but equally entertaining examples. Definitely worth checking out her posts, and perhaps also stop by her store or commission pages.

On the cusp

The shot below is taken from the gallery on Mistress Alex’s site. She has a lot of great images in that gallery, with many that are far more explicitly BDSM than this. There are cages, naked men, whips, floggers and beat downs. All sorts of good stuff. But this slightly more ambiguous image is the one that really appeals to me. I think it captures a moment of balance, the point where all the possibilities of a session begin to resolve into the actualities.

There’s often a lot of laughter and banter at the start of my sessions with Lydia. Some of that is purely practical. It takes time to get ropes tied and bodies arranged, and it’s more fun to talk than not to. A larger part of it is is the nervous energy and anticipation we’re feeding off of. I don’t quite know what’s about to happen, but I’m looking forward to finding out. The domme has got a good idea what’s about to happen, but until it starts to unfold has (presumably) no idea how her ideas will translate into the energy and dynamic of the scene. I love that point of transition, the shifting balance between us, the changing gears of dominance and submission. Hallways are a natural transition place and this image, with its choice of doors and “I was waiting for you” stance, captures an element of that session moment.

Form over function

Here’s a very visually striking pair of Gaspar gloves being modeled by Mistress Veronique. There’s a bit of a militaristic feel to them thanks to all those metal press studs.

While I think these look great, when it comes to playing rather than simply staring, I actually prefer something far more basic. The kind of short black leather gloves you’d use to protect your hands, or improve your grip, or avoid leaving fingerprints. There’s something sexy about function. These have great form, they don’t look all that practical to wear while working a guy over.

I found this on the Bits and Pieces tumblr. It was originally shot for the Boot Lovers site.

Savoir-faire

Today’s post brings you news of an article from 2004. Don’t say that Femdom Resource doesn’t deliver the latest in BDSM culture!

I was reminded of it after reading some of the comments on my earlier post about approaching a dominant woman. Ferns linked to an excellent post she’d written on the subject, which emphasized that the person comes before the submissive. It’s a package deal, and nobody is going to spend time with someone who can scream delightfully when whipped but is an annoying jerk the rest of the time. Playing with gags can be fun, but they shouldn’t be a requirement for a relationship.

This philosophy put me in mind of an old article from Mistress Matisse on how she started dating her primary partner Max. He’s actually a male dominant, but I don’t think that fact alters the underlying point. She wasn’t attracted to some aspect of his sexuality, that actually counted against him initially. It was the fact he was capable, quietly confident and self-possessed that was a significant part of the initial attraction. I also can’t resist posting a link to an article that opens with the following line.

As Max and I approach the fifth anniversary of our first date, I’ve been thinking about the fact that if my submissive, Jae, didn’t have such a big clitoris, Max and I might never have gone on that date at all.
Mistress Matisse in ‘Me, Max and Jae’

That must be a great way to start a response to the old cliched question – ‘So how did you two meet?’

For images I can bring you shots of two out of the three people in question. The first shot below is Mistress Matisse giving Bobbi Starr a spanking in a scene for Everything Butt. The second image is Jae giving some lucky guy a good paddling, taken from this blog post.

Peaking behind the curtain

I’ve been enjoying catching up on Domina M’s new blog – Look Like Veronica Lake; Think Like Dorothy Parker. She used to be one of NYC’s top pro-dommes, mentored one of the current stars of that city, and has since retired to Barcelona.

She’s writing about the practicalities of being a pro-domme, the behind the scene issues she had to deal with, which I find fascinating. I think it’s always fun to read about unusual jobs. It almost doesn’t matter exactly what the job is – steeplejack, hostage negotiator, matador – there’s just something innately interesting in learning the tricks of a trade. It appeals to the desire to discover a secret, as well as the intellectual pleasure of gaining understanding of a new problem space.

I particularly enjoyed her piece on micro-dommenomics and her attempt to come up with a viable model for an inexpensive session.

A simple foot or OTK session in the morning might be a nice way to start my day. What say $75 for a half hour foot or OTK session in the morning? NO ONE could beat that.
…
There was no way I was going to dilute the “Domina M” brand with a blue light special. Besides the argument was that they wanted the minimum, simply a focus on their fetish. Okay fine. I created a new yahoo email account and advertised, “Simple foot/otk sessions with a beautiful, busty, 29-year-old blond. 8AM-11AM. $75 per ½ hour” every free place I could.
…
After all of that, how many people did I see in those three months? None. Zero. Goose-Egg.
Domina M

The failure of this approach doesn’t surprise me at all. When it comes to luxury goods and services, price may not be a good discriminating factor, but it is normally a good filtering factor. I probably can’t simply use price alone to choose between a $50 bottle of wine and $100 bottle of wine. But I can normally safely exclude the $5 bottle of wine from consideration. If I saw a very cheap price for an unnamed and unreviewed pro-domme I’d assume either she wasn’t smart enough to price herself correctly or was so bad that she couldn’t get business at a higher price. Neither are appealing characteristics. And, as Domina M discovered, the type of clients who don’t make that kind of assessment turn out to be the type of clients not worth cultivating.

In the comment section Miss Troy Orleans remarked on the fact that she’d recently offered a significant session discount to celebrate her eight year dommiversary, and had been surprised when only one person took her up on it. That also surprised me at first glance, but actually makes some sort of sense from a psychological perspective. A discount suggests that, compared to the normal exchange, one person is losing out on the deal. A client with enough disposable income to regularly see a top pro-domme is unlikely to value a transitory financial saving over the negative psychological association of the discount.

If Miss Orleans had reworded the offer to suggest she was going to extend the session length but still charge her normal rate, I wonder if it would have changed the uptake rate? The cost/time ratio is unchanged, but it creates a different emphasis. Now the client isn’t taking something away, but is instead being gifted with something extra. A bit like how restaurants don’t give regular customers discounts, but do send out additional free courses.

Perhaps that might also have been an answer to Domina M’s discount session experiment. Offer it only as a bonus to regular clients who have already paid the full session rate in the past. That weeds out the wankers while rewarding the regulars. Although of course that does still risk diluting the brand. These things are never simple.

I’ve added her blog to the pro-domme section of my blogroll, so hopefully she’ll be popping up there with many more interesting posts in future. Thanks to hmp for the original pointer.

Photograph is of Domina M. For a little background on the photographer see this blog post.