Twittering

So having just burnt a series of posts on the dangers of maintaining dual identities on social media, what’s the next logical thing for me to do? Obviously it’s to create a new social media account. So you can now find me on twitter as @paltego1.

I’m not actually sure what I’m going to do with it. I originally created it just to get rid of all the ‘This media may contain sensitive material’ twitter warnings that were driving me crazy. Sensitive material is 90% of my reason for doing anything online. Then it seemed a good way to follow interesting kinky people. Now I’m debating if I should more actively manage it. Maybe use it as an overflow for links I don’t get to cover here? Or as way to bookmark articles before I have change to write in more detail on them? At the very least I can use it to publish the existence of a new post here.

If you’re a twitter user feel free to follow me and maybe I’ll end up doing something useful with it. I’ll also be on the lookout for interesting people to follow, so feel free to point me at anything or anyone you like!

Twitter does seem a particular rich source for fun kinky shots and short video clips. Most of them are casual shots snapped with a phone, but occasionally you get a gem like the one below. This is Domina M in Paris and was shot by Will Santillo.

Who are you? (Continued)

I hadn’t intended to write a series of posts on the intersection of social media and online identities, yet somehow, here we are with a third post. In a previous comment on my first post Ferns raised the issue of transparency and how companies hide the ‘how it works’ aspect. That’s a fascinating topic in itself, and so I wanted to circle back on it.

It’s clearly true that companies should do a better job of notifying users of what data they’re collecting. They don’t want to do that because there are only negative consequences for them. No user is going to say “I love that this huge faceless corporation knows all this stuff about me, but you’re missing out on a lot more private stuff I haven’t shared. Let me help you access that as well.” In reality, given more visibility of the data gathering process, users are only going to want to add constraints, which in turn hurts the companies product and their advertising revenue.

When it comes to the interpretation of the data – for example, why Facebook makes the friend suggestions that it does – then the story is more complicated. Machine learning and particularly deep learning is driving a lot innovation in big tech companies these days. Traditionally a  software developer would analyze a problem and code up an algorithm to solve it. Now that same developer will specify the end result they want (these people are friends, these people are not friends), gather as much input data as they can (user location, hometown, school, posts they liked, etc.) and try and train a system to figure out the end result from the inputs. Typically this involves throwing a huge amount of computational power at the problem (which is why this has only become practical recently) and results in a black box that nobody really understands. Given the right inputs (e.g. data about users) this black box might be able to make excellent predictions about who is friends with who, but it can be difficult to say exactly why it makes any single prediction. So when companies say it’s difficult to share why certain suggestions were made, they might not be lying. They might not know themselves.

As an example of this, let’s consider the original case of the sex worker I talked about in my first post. I should be clear I know nothing about this beyond the public articles and I know nothing about Facebook’s internal algorithms or what data they have. This is speculation designed purely to illustrate the issue. That said, imagine if Facebook had access to the WiFi networks people accessed from their phones over time. Being on the same public network as someone else doesn’t mean much. Even repeatedly seeing the same networks at roughly the same time doesn’t mean much. Maybe you just happen to regularly go coffee at the same time and place as some other random person. But repeatedly being on the same networks at the same time, but in different places over many months would be indicative of a possible relationship. That’s the kind of correlation that a machine learning system could figure out. It’s also the kind of correlation that would occur for a sex worker regularly meeting the same group of clients at different hotels in a city.

Apologies if anyone visited here with the crazy idea of reading posts about femdom. Hopefully I’ll get back on that track in the next day or two. In the meantime I’ll continue my theme of old school anonymity via masquerade style masks. This is the lovely Anne Hathaway, the one bright spot in the otherwise terrible Dark Knight Rises.

Who are you? (Revisited)

So it turns out I’m a bad blogger who doesn’t carefully read the articles he links to. Yesterday’s post featured the story of a sex worker being outed by Facebook, and my suggestion that limiting different social media products to different online identities would probably help. It turns out that was exactly what Leila, the sex worker in question, had done. She only used Facebook in her private life, but still it started linking to her work social contact. My bad for not paying attention. I should probably be punished.

In my defense, I will say that it’s likely the information leakage occurred through the path I did actually identify in the post – smart phone or tablets linked with social media. It’s feasible to set-up a PC with distinct user accounts and strictly enforced separation of data and identities. It’s almost impossible to do that for other devices. And while you could obviously just use physically distinct devices for each online identity, the reason we have these devices is for convenience. Even if you carry two phones, at some point you’ll want to share data between them, and as soon as you do, there’s an opportunity for tech companies to sneak in and exploit it.

The fundamental problem here is that users are not the customers of social media – they’re the product. The advertisers are the customers. The more data the media companies have on their users/product the better they can target it for their customers. So their goal is not to solve these kind of issues. It’s to do the absolute minimum necessary to stop the product getting mad enough to quit, while retaining the maximum amount of information for their advertisers. As a tech guy I can understand that, but as a kinky sex blogger and social media user, it definitely sucks.

It’s an entirely solvable problem from a technology perspective, but the incentive structure for the companies isn’t in place to do so. That leaves people with multiple online identities with limited options. Either never use social media anywhere, or give up anonymity, or keep separate devices for each identity and be incredibly careful to never link or associate them in any way. Or, I guess, roll the dice and hope Facebook doesn’t pop up one of those annoying ‘Your friends liked…’ ads for your local kinky munch on your mom’s Facebook feed.

I’ve no idea what an appropriate image for this post would be, so I’ll continue the masquerade mask theme from yesterday. I’m afraid I have no idea what’s going on in this image, or who it’s originally by, but I would love to attend the kind of parties that featured masked topless ladies drinking wine and brandishing knives.

Who are you?

This Gizmodo story is likely to strike fear into the heart of anyone who tries to maintain multiple and distinct identities on social media. A sex worker named Leilia had two separate Facebook accounts, one for her private life and one for her job. Despite keeping them distinct, with separate email and phone numbers, her friends and family account suddenly started suggesting her work clients as “People You Might Know.” Obviously Facebook’s algorithms had managed to link the data in someway and decided it was all one big happy social network.

Facebook coming up with surprising and unnerving friend suggestions isn’t a new story. This article, posted a few months ago, describes how it figured out the authors great aunt, despite the fact his father had been adopted as child and had no contact with that branch of the family. With the algorithms getting smarter, the amount of data online constantly growing, and neither of them easy to monitor or understand, I’m sure issues like this are going proliferate.

As a software guy, I find the situation somewhat perverse. Traditionally academic computer systems had very strong notions of user identity, because they were shared systems, where personal computers had no concept of it, because they weren’t powerful enough to support it. Companies like Microsoft and Apple worked for years to bring proper identify management and user isolation to PCs. No sooner had they achieved that goal – Windows XP being a major milestone – than smart phones, tablets and social media software arrived and turned everything into a inter-connected soup with no good way to managed different identities.

For now I suspect the only way to handle the problem is to not use the same social media platform with two different identities you wish to keep distinct. So if you have a Facebook account for a friends/family identity, don’t have one for your kink/sex identity. And if you want a tumblr account to share kinky porn, don’t also create a second tumblr account to share holiday snaps with friends. Pick the product most useful to each identity and don’t assume you can keep two accounts on the same platform distinct.

Life was so much simpler before the internet. It used to be only necessary to slip on a masquerade mask and you could attend any fancy ball of your choice in total anonymity.

This is from a shoot for Marie Claire by Koray Parlak and features Nina Reijnders with Victoria Lipatova.

A Perfection of Dommes

What is the collective noun for a group of dommes? A dungeon of dommes? A deviance? A discipline? I kind of like the idea of it being a ‘perfection’. It’s a little more abstract and has less obviously kinky roots than those previous suggestions, but it captures something of the dynamic for me. Both in terms of the pedestal their submissives put them on and the high standards they expect in return.

Whatever the appropriate noun, October seems to be a popular month for dommes to get together. In New Orleans there was Dom Con. In DC there was the Fetish Ball. And in London there was the Femdom Ball. I sadly didn’t make it to any of them. However, if I were to make arbitrary judgement calls based on social media – which is exactly what I’m about to do – then I have to the Femdom Ball certainly won when it came to style and fashion. Fancy fetish wear is all very well, but nothing is sexier than glamour and elegance. As a case in point I give you this, this, this, this, this and this. I love getting dressed up to go out and I often wish Seattle was less flannel shirts and more French cuffs. Clearly I should check out the Femdom Ball in future years.

I finish the post with another shot from the Ball. My suggestion of a perfection of dommes is sounding pretty good about now, right?

You can see a lot more shots from the event on the twitter feed.

Have you seen this whip?

I think most kinky people have a favorite toy. It might be the one that pushes their buttons perfectly, has sentimental value or is simply something that’s impossible to buy anymore. Nobody wants to lose a toy like that. All that said, I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone offer a financial reward for the return of a particular implement, much less a $1000 reward.

The toy in question in this case is a rare 15 year old signal whip and the owner is the famous Isabella Sinclaire. She was attending an event called Ellismania in Vegas when it went missing. I’m not really sure what that event is, but based on the photograph below, it seems to involve some sort of fighting ring, women in sexy outfits and Isabella whipping them. What’s not to like? I’m not sure if being whipped was the punishment for losing or the reward for winning. Seems like a no lose type situation either way.

If you were at this event and have any information on her whip, I’m sure she’d be very happy to receive it.

Happy shades of grey

This is continuing the monochrome theme with another image that I’m sure has been tweaked from its original form. I found it via the Happy BDSM tumblr. I’d guess it’s a StrapOn Dreamer image, but I can’t be sure of that, as there’s no watermark and Google image search seems to fail miserably on modified photographs.

Update: It is from StrapOn Dreamer and I even used it in a previous post. Doh!

Making art from porn

A recent interview with Maggie Gyllenhaal quoted her as saying that “that pornography is an art form”. She’s right of course, but she missed one of the key elements: Only when it’s in black and white. Anyone who has browsed tumblr extensively will realize this. Depraved color pornography is instantly transformed into a moody art shot with the simple application of a monochrome filter.

Supreme Court Justice Potter Stewart famously stated, in Jacobellis v. Ohio, that he knew pornography when he saw it. At the time he was judging Loius Malle’s film ‘The Lovers‘. That was shot in black and white, and obviously that’s why he found it not obscene. It’s basic science.

I don’t have a original source for this image. I’m sure it started as a far more depraved and non-artistic full color shot.

Update: The original source is StrapOn Dreamer.

Always something new

One of the things I love about kink is the infinite variety of possibilities it offers. There’s always a new experience or activity for me to explore. In some cases it can be a very common kinky activity that has simply never made it onto my kinky hit list. Whenever that happens it’s always slightly disconcerting. A bit like realizing there’s a cupboard in your house you’ve never actually opened, despite years of living there.

In my recent trip to San Francisco Domina Yuki used a leash on my collar to lead me around. It wasn’t a big part of the scene or in response to a request I’d made. Just a fun way for her to get me from one area to another in the play space. But as she did it I was struck by the fact it was a new experience for me. The collar and leash is a staple of BDSM porn. It’s even used as a symbol for kink in the mainstream. Yet, in years of play, I couldn’t remember ever being on the receiving end. I was so surprised at that realization I almost forgot to enjoy the moment. Almost.

This is the beautiful Mistress Iris enjoying some leash play with a slave. I found it via her twitter feed.

Room, ensuite bathroom, bonus slave

I’m continuing the domestic service theme with a link to an article and craiglist post that made me smile. It features an F/m couple looking for a female roommate who can play a role in an FLR. I love the fact they spend longer on the size and temperature of the room than the whole kinky dynamic thing.

Personally I find both roommate negotiation and BDSM complex enough on their own, without trying to mix them all together. But maybe I’m just a pessimist and there’s a domme in DC enjoying a cheap room and a submissive landlord.

I’m afraid I don’t have a source for this shot of domestic bliss.