Tag: Photograph

Interlude

I had a fabulous session on Friday night that I wanted to write about and share photographs from. Anyone who follows my twitter feed might have already seen a shot from it pop up already. Unfortunately, this evening has gotten away from me, and I’ve absolutely no time to put a proper post together. So thinks as this rather lovely image as an interlude between more weighty postings.

I’m not exactly sure of the context for this image. A reverse image search tells me it’s probably Yvonne Catterfeld, but nothing about who took the shot or why.

Commenting on Comments

I want to take a brief break from your regularly scheduled femdom, and comment on the comments I get here.

Firstly, I appreciate every comment that gets published. I could do without the ones asking me for a date with the women in the images, or the ones asking how they can find hot dommes in their area, but they get sent to the trash anyway. If it appears as a published comment, then I appreciate the time, effort and thought it took to write.

Secondly, I read every comment I receive. The number of people who comment is a tiny tiny fraction of my total readers. Yet, if it wasn’t for those comments, I’d probably have given up posting here by now. This site functions as an outlet for my kinky thoughts and experiences, but no matter how much I love the sound of my own voice, there’s only so long I’d continue if I felt I was shouting into a void.

Finally, I try and reply to every single comment I get, even if it’s not always the very next day. I sometimes worry that by replying a few days later, it’ll be be missed and the original comment writer will assume I ignored them. That’s almost never the case. Typically I’m busy with work stuff being teased and tortured by leather clad dommes, and just didn’t get chance to sit down and write. If a new post shows up but a comment reply doesn’t, odds are it’s because I had that post already written and queued up ready to go.

So my thanks to everyone who has already commented, or will leave a comment here in future. They are all appreciated. Just as long as you’re not asking me to find you a hot domme in your area.

Here’s a shot of a pretty typical reader of my blog in the process of posting a comment. Either that, or a random picture I found that I have zero attribution for.

Scent of a Woman

There’s a dedicated site for buying used underwear. This is a thing I did not know. It’s called sofiagray and I found it via this article they published on sweat fetish. I’m not surprised that the market exists. I’ve seen enough dommes selling used clothing via twitter to know it must be a money spinner. I’m just surprised I’ve never seen anyone doing it via this site.

I particularly love this missions statement from their front page.

Now, our objectives have changed. We no longer want a to be a platform for used panties, we want to be THE platform for used panties. Our efforts are solely devoted to hosting the most efficient, friendly, and safe used underwear platform for both buyers and sellers alike.

That’s the kind of line that makes a developers resume stand out. Just below ‘Software Architect’ and above ‘Director of Engineering’, I’d love to have the bullet point ‘Built THE platform for used panties.’ You’d never get a boring interview with that on your resume.

This amusingly captioned image is from Contemplating the Divine, and features my favorite kind of caption – turning points. I’m not sure if this is a product that Amazon actually carries, but I have to admit that I’m too scared to check by searching for it. I don’t want to risk adverts for used panties following me around the internet for the next few weeks.

 

Sit! Good boy.

I’m continuing my theme from yesterday with this image. I’m not sure it strictly counts as a puppy play shot, but I think there’s definitely an ‘obedient dog at my side’ vibe to it. That’s probably helped by the straps on the side of the hood, which give the suggestion of flappy dog ears.

I believe this is NYC based domme Elena De Luca. You can find her professional site here.

No Boys Allowed

I don’t feature a lot of F/f material here. Not because it isn’t interesting, but because there’s so much femsub imagery floating around online. It often seems like the de facto BDSM image is a female submissive, and I generally feel no urge to add to that skewed perspective.

However – and I’m sure you knew there was a however coming here – I’m going to make an exception for this post. This image is from Adreene Angela’s all female play party, as featured in this tweet. I like it because the energy and dynamic feels so different to most of the kinky F/f imagery I see. It looks like play rather than a pose, and it doesn’t have the sense of male gaze that’s so prevalent in kink.

Image is from Mistress Adreena Angela’s twitter feed.

Folsom 2019

Talking of kinky events I’m sad I missed – as I just was  – it was the Folsom Fair in San Francisco this last weekend. I’m not sure if it’s the biggest kink festival in the world, but it has to be a good candidate. If you didn’t attend and are interested in getting a flavor of the event, there are articles with photographs here, here and here.

There’s a good mix of hot and fun costumes, although some made my scratch my head. This one for example is an interesting choice. He’s just pulled a t-shirt and baseball cap on, she’s made the effort to get a good military uniform look going, yet he’s the one holding her leash? Do whatever floats your boat, but that dynamic does seem somewhat back-to-front.

Falling very much into the hot category, I did love this shot posted by Domina Yuki of her and Lucy Sweetkill. Also this posed shot, featuring Mistress Blunt with Domina Yuki, is equally appealing. Finally, something both fun and hot, the featured image below comes from the threewitchesdesigns instagram.

Spanking Tips

For anyone with an inclination towards spanking, I’d direct your attention to this post by Eris Martinet. It’s described as tips for beginners, but frankly I think it’s a useful refresher for anyone who likes administering a spanking. I’ve had a few sessions where a quick review of this beforehand would have brought benefits.

In particular I’d highlight the need for a good warm up. That often gets cut short. In corporal sessions I frequently find that spanking is generally treated as a warm up in itself. As Ms Martinet makes clear, even a straightforward hand spanking requires a proper warm up period to get the submissive into the right mental and physical space.

This image is from Eris Martinet’s twitter feed. It’s not a spanking specific one, but I love it for her stance, attitude and overall fabulous look. If you’d like to experience a spanking delivered by a real expert then her professional site is here.

Another Way to Slice the Data

I had a couple of insightful comments on my last post that attributed my small number of unsatisfying session experiences to the type of dommes I play with. I think there’s a lot of truth in that. I almost exclusively play with experienced independent dommes who have taken the time to build their business and the skills that go along with that. It’s not a selection approach that guarantees session success, but it certainly helps skew the odds in the right direction.

It also struck me after writing yesterday’s post that there was another way to analyze the data: What’s my success rate when meeting a new domme? As I’ve written about before, I typically try and play with a mix of people I know and people I don’t. It’s a good way to build ongoing and deeper relationships while also learning and experiencing new dynamics. So how has that worked out for me?

I went back and dug through my emails to remind myself who I’d played with over the years. In a very rough hand wavy analysis, I’d say my meetings with dommes for the first time broke down roughly as…

  • One third being fun sessions, but a general mismatch in our styles and chemistry. I didn’t regret the session, but we probably wouldn’t meet again.
  • One third being really enjoyable sessions with a dynamic that I felt was worth exploring further. Not everything aligned perfectly, but there was enough overlap to make me want to meet again.
  • One third being amazing sessions. There was great chemistry and either our respective play styles meshed well, or my eyes were opened to a whole new approach that I loved. These are the dommes who I’ll always want to see when our paths intersect.

I should make clear that this is a very personal assessment, based around my preferences, kinks and play style. Much like in regular dating, one persons McDreamy can be someone else’s Mr. Dreary. I’m sure all the dommes in my first category have many amazing sessions with other submissives they have great chemistry with.

If you look at this data in conjunction with my previous post I think the key take away would run as follows: If you play with experienced independent pro-dommes, you’re very unlikely to have a genuinely bad session. However, you might have to try a few different sessions with a few different people before you find the right match for you. Hardly a groundbreaking insight I know, but I thought it was interesting to put some actual data behind it.

This is Domina Yuki, someone I’ve played with for years and who is very much in my third category of dommes I always want to return to. If you’re in the San Francisco area her professional site is here. For anyone further afield, you can see her OnlyFans here.

What are the Odds?

Whenever I put up a post that casts a negative light on femdom and playing with professional dommes – as I just did – I worry I’ll put off someone who is tempted to explore kink or hire a pro-domme.  So to assuage my fears and encourage anyone out there to take the plunge, I thought I’d share some personal statistics.

At this point I’ve done well over 200 professional sessions with a wide variety of different dommes. Out of all those sessions, I had…

  • One that went bad that I covered previously.
  • One that felt like a rip-off. It was in a Las Vegas hotel room and was a halfhearted unimaginative effort. I found myself in a cab on the Vegas strip – with piss still in my hair – 15 minutes before the session was even supposed to finish. The domme was relatively unknown and I wasn’t surprised to see her shutdown her site shortly afterwards.
  • One two hour session that the domme was three hours later for. The volume of coffee I drank while waiting turned out to be more tortuous than the session itself.
  • One session that was cancelled with me standing on the doorstep. The domme had forgotten she was moving house that day.

Those four events represent the total number of times I walked away significantly dissatisfied. For the other 200 or so sessions, I’ve had experiences that ranged from a fun time to the mind meltingly brilliant. That’s a way better success rate than my experiences with restaurants, movies, plays, spas, etc. I can’t guarantee you’ll always have a great kinky time if you hire a professional, but if my experiences are anything to go by, the odds are significantly in your favor.

This is a Club Pedestal event rather than a professional session, but it’s such a fun shot that I wanted to feature it. Found via this tweet and I believe that’s Ms Eva.

Tease as the Core

The Porte-à-Vie site has published an insightful interview with Mistress Iris. It covers topics such as the definition of a dominatrix, the relationship between kink and daily life, the attraction of BDSM, etc. What really caught my eye was when Mistress Iris addressed the subject of her specialty…

Tease is at the core of my sexuality. What electrifies me is the exquisite expression of pure desperation. The moment a person can no longer compose their facade any longer– when their dignity, their sense of self goes out of the window and they begin to beg and plead– that’s when I have the most power over them. It’s orgasmic.

As someone lucky enough to have played with Mistress Iris in the past (for example here and here), I can attest to her skill at teasing. I think a lot of dommes treat tease as a path to intense physical activities. It’s a way to get the blood pumping and the endorphins flowing before the nipple clamps and needles come out. Mistress Iris makes tease an end in itself and, as I wrote recently, I think tease and denial can be just as psychologically intense as any masochistic session.

When done expertly, teasing and edging can feel more out of control than simple pain. After all, one can always safeword out of pain. There’s no shame in stopping a heavy beating when you reach a limit. But how can you safeword out of not getting something? The whole point is that maybe, just maybe, if you stick with it, you’ll be rewarded (but probably not). Stopping doesn’t help you. Continuing makes it worse. It’s a truly beautiful dilemma.

This is from the twitter feed of Mistress Iris. You can find her professional site here.