Tag: Photograph

Vulnerability Coach

This lovely image of Shibari suspension comes courtesy of the twitter feed of Rina Trevi. You can find another two equally beautiful images of similar play from her here and here.

If Rina looks familiar to you, it’s because she used to work as a pro-domme in NYC under the name Renee Trevi. As a domme she always had a very thoughtful approach to her play (you can find some of her older writing captured here) but, as she documented via this instagram post, she eventually had enough of the hyper-sexualized pro-domme role.

Her new practice is as a vulnerability coach, offering “…counseling and journeys into self-discovery and spiritual illumination.” Services offered include surrender sessions, integrative coaching, tantric BDSM and pro-domme mentorship. It’s impossible for me to neatly summarize her practice, so I’d definitely recommend checking out her site.

You can see more from Rina via her twitter feed or instagram account.

Harder or Softer?

A question for masochists and sadists whose play has been curtailed by the virus: What do you think this enforced absence and isolation has done to your desire to inflict or absorb pain? Does the lack of play have you craving intense beatings and no holds barred sadism? Or has the stress and strangeness of it all left you wanting intimacy and more gentle activities?

My impression from kinky social media is that the sadists amongst us (God bless them) are craving hard play. They have pent up energy to expend and can’t wait to unleash it. The general attitude of masochists is harder to read. I’m personally unsure where my headspace is at. I’d love to play again. I miss it desperately. I’m just not sure if I’m craving pain or not. The world is so weird, and my stress levels so distorted, I really have no idea how I’ll respond when I can session again. That’s a unique state of mind for me, but I guess we’re all living through a unique situation.

This is an old image from OWK. She clearly wasn’t in a conflicted state of mind about her sadistic tendencies. Hopefully he felt the same way from the masochistic perspective.

Sparkles

Here’s a final image in my short series of electricity themed posts. This one is very different both in appearance and the associated physical sensation. The estim and TENS devices from the past posts are visual unspectacular and feel exactly like you’d expect them to. They deliver a sharp muscle contracting pulse of pain. A violet wand, like the one from the image below, looks and feels like no other toy. It’s a hot prickly crackly sensation. There’s a fabulous sound and a smell of singed hair and ionized air. It’s not the most intense toy you can use, but it is the only one that 9 out of 10 mad scientists would recommend.

This image is from Mistress Renee’s twitter feed. You can find videos of her scenes via her clips store.

Remote Fun

After writing my previous post, it struck me that someone must already have come up with a remote control e-stim device. It’s an obvious idea and of course they do exist. For example, here’s one from the estim company (official site here). It’s a lot more expensive than your average dog shock collar, but it also has a lot more features and should avoid that whole pesky business of frying your nerve endings. With the addition of some suitable attachment straps, I don’t see any reason you couldn’t use it for the same kind of play.

Updated: There’s also this one from ErosTek. Similarly pricey, but looks like a great toy for remote controlled fun.

These two images from the Men are Slaves site shows a couple having fun with what looks like a remote estim.

An Unpleasant Shock

Anyone who has been intrigued by the idea of playing with shock collars might want to check out this article on them. Apparently they’re not a particularly safe way to combine kink, discipline and electricity. I’ve heard dommes joke that they’d never use them on their dog but they’re fine for a submissive. Given the widespread love of animals in the domme community that’s not too surprising, but maybe it’s time to discard the use of these collars entirely.

Searching around turns up a number of devices that are allegedly designed for human use, but it’s hard to tell exactly how safe they are. That makes me think there’s a gap for in the market here for one of the reputable e-stim companies. They already have the expertise, the hardware and the branding. Just build something that can be attached to a different part of the body and has a remote control. A lot of the e-stim devices are already pretty portable, so it wouldn’t take a lot of adaption.

This domme seems like the caring sort. Obviously she can’t have read the article in question. Captioning comes courtesy of the always creative Servitor.

Pegging Across State Lines

Social distancing requirements have thrown up a lot of complex questions for kinky people who play with those outside their social bubble. Should you wear masks? Does it even help to wear a mask if you’re inside and in close proximity for hours? Should you tailor activities to minimize face to face contact? What period should you leave between play partners? These are challenging issues to navigate.

Fortunately, for at least the pegging lovers, there might be a simple answer to these questions. Somebody out there thought long and hard about all these problems and came up with this, the socially distanced strap-on. No need for glory holes or hazmat suits. Now you can peg someone from across the room. Possibly even from the next room.

I thought at first this was a joke, but there’s actually an indiegogo project for it. For anyone into infeasibly long fake dongs, and who doesn’t feel like duct taping a dildo to a broom handle, this might be just what you’re looking for.

Pegging Pleasure

For the longest time I didn’t understand why dommes liked pegging. I was grateful they did, but very hung-up on the comparison with regular PIV sex from the male perspective. A dildo doesn’t have nerve endings in it, so why is it a fun thing to wield?

I’m afraid to say that several years passed before the penny dropped. Most BDSM activities don’t result in direct physical pleasure for the top. Whether it’s bondage or caning, piercing or sounding, the pleasure for the top is far more complicated than nice friction at a good spot. It’s about control, feedback, invasion, responsiveness, reactions and emotions. Pegging framed through a simple male perspective of pleasure seemed odd. Seen in the spectrum of other BDSM activities, as a way to play with pleasure, pain and control, it makes total sense. Realizing that actually made me enjoy it more from the submissive perspective. It felt less selfish to indulge in.

I mention all this because of this twitter thread, featuring a number of dommes posting their love of pegging. The image below is taken from it, featuring Lady Valeska. I love her relaxed, confident and in control attitude that comes through in this shot.

Lady Valeska is a London based pro-domme. You can find her professional site here and her twitter feed here.

CEI

Fans of CEI (Cum Eating Instructions), particularly in virtual sessions, may appreciate  this video on twitter from Ceara Lynch. From the number of reposts and ‘OMG. Totally!’ type comments from others dommes, I’m guessing it’s a pretty widespread phenomena.

Personally, I’ve never got the big deal. It didn’t strike me as a weird or messed up thing to do as a teenager, so it never developed into a kink for me. Funny how those things tend to go together. Whenever a domme threaten me with it I’m always slightly bemused. Particularly given the vast array of heinous and vicious that have typically preceded it. If you’ve just beaten, pierced, shocked and pissed on me, then finishing with cum eating is more the mint at the end of the meal than grand flambe dessert to finish. Now if there’s more guys than just me involved, that does get kinky…

I’ve sadly no idea where this rather excellent assisted self facial shot is from.

Update: Thanks to a very helpful reader I can now attribute this image to the Troupe of Slaves site.

Unseen Terror

This is a bit of an odd one. I believe it’s a still is from the movie Elektra Luxx. It’s one of those images you can project your own story into. Personally I like to imagine it as a story of modern black magic. He’s been picked up in a bar by a beautiful woman, gone back to her apartment for what he imagines will be hot sexy naked fun and has just discovered he’s about to be sacrificed to one of the old Gods in her spare bedroom. At least that’s my story for it. I’ve no idea what original context was.

That’s Carla Gugino with a naked Vincent Kartheiser.

Be Careful What You Wish For

This problem page letter in the Guardian made me smile. It’s somewhat short on detail but, reading between the lines, I suspect the man concerned was looking for hot kinky sex involving bondage and exciting leather outfits. His wife obviously had other ideas. On being handed the metaphorical and possibly literal whip hand,  she decided that being in charge meant lots of nice massages and minimal amounts of sucking his dick. I feel bad that their kinky needs are obviously not aligned, but he probably shouldn’t be too surprised that his non-kinky wife’s idea of taking charge looked less like a pornhub video and more like a spa day.

I guess it could be worse for him. His wife might decide that what she really wants to do is spend an hour or two with the Sunday papers and a convenient footstool.

Sadly I don’t have a source for this image. I suspect it’s from a UK femdom site from some years back, but my attribution skills have failed me.