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Dine and Domme tour: East coast edition.

I’ve written in the past about trips I’ve done down the West coast (for example here and here). Combining food and kink (although not necessarily at the same time) is my idea of a great vacation. It has always been a goal to replicate the idea on the East coast, and I’m happy to say that at the end of this month I’m finally getting chance to do so. I’ll be spending a week in Manhattan, doing a little shopping, a lot of fine dining and interspersing them both with some deviant kinky behavior.

The main problem planning this kind of trip is a surfeit of choice. There are just so many great dommes in the NYC area. However, there is one domme that I’ve heard so many good things about that it ultimately made my decision an easy one – Miss Troy Orleans. Fortunately she had time available on her calendar for me, and I’m looking forward to two separate sessions with her. I’m sure we’ll have a lot of fun together.

Ironically scheduling time with professional sadists turns out to be a far more pleasant process than scheduling time with organizations designed to pamper and indulge their guests. And by that I’m talking about NYC restaurants. Most of them make the DMV look like a role model for easy and efficient service. Fortunately, after a lot of listening to call waiting muzac and some mad-ninja open table skills, I snagged reservations at (amongst others) Le Bernardin, Per Se, Eleven Madison Park, Kyo Ya and WD-50. I look forward to blogging in a few weeks about how it all works out.

This image of a rather elegant lady admiring the New York skyline comes courtesy of the he stoops to worship (aka devoted sub) tumblr.

The anus is unremarkable

In the comments to yesterday’s post I was reminded of the story of Reverend Gary Aldridge by Miss Margo. It’s another story of self-bondage by a man of God, although with a slightly unhappier ending. Rather than handcuffs, the pastor employed a couple of wetsuits, rubberized underwear, a leather belt and a face and head mask. He complemented this with a dildo in the anus and a hog tie plus ligature combination. Self-bondage is a risky activity at the best of times. Coupling it with autoerotic asphyxiation and a diving suit (or two) and you’re looking at the person voted most likely to be found dead in a horribly embarrassing situation.

I’m certainly not someone who’d critique the Reverend on his kink of choice. I just spent an evening wrapped in much leather with an electrified plug up the butt and a metal probe down the urethra. Freaky is fine. Just don’t do it alone. If you’d like to try some bondage and butt play, just hook up with someone like the young lady below. I’m sure she’ll be happy to fill your need. Although you might want to be prepared in case she calls you up the next day and asks if you’ve still got her wristwatch.

For anyone who doesn’t recognize it, the post title is an internet meme. Autopsy reports use that phrase and it has become an in-joke on some forums. Somebody will post a strange sex story and the response will be “Yes, but was the anus unremarkable?”

Do to yourself as you’d have others do to you

I was recently entertained by the story of a Catholic priest who locked himself in handcuffs and had to call 911 to escape them. The linked article even has the audio of the call, complete with the dispatcher asking where he was (the rectory) and did he work there (he admitted he did). The thing I found surprising wasn’t the restraint loving priest, but the slightly incredulous tone of the dispatcher. In a previous life I spent some months working with operators answering emergency calls and, like ER doctors, nothing seemed to really faze them. They’d heard it all before.

Part of me feels a little sorry for the good Father. I’m sure a lot of kinky people experimented with self-bondage when they were young. I know I did, and it was more good luck than judgement that saved me from any similarly embarrassing public situations. On the other hand the priest in question works for Bishop Thomas Paprocki. His various claims to fame include blaming the lawsuits resulting from the Catholic child abuse scandal on the devil, attacking gay marriage as discrimination against Christians and preaching that voting Democrat will send you to hell. Anyone keeping company with a fine ‘Christian’ like that doesn’t get a lot of sympathy from me.

Next time the kinky clergyman feels the urge to restrain himself from sin, he should find himself a Nun to help out. She can take care of the handcuff keys and also any flagellation that might be necessary for such a naughty priest. Perhaps the young lady below would be willing to ensure he repents properly?

You might be surprised to learn that this very authentically costumed ‘nun’ has not actually taken her holy vows. It’s the model Miranda Kerr, as photographed by Greg Kadel for Numéro magazine. I originally stumbled across it on the Kinky Games tumblr.

The root of all evil

Given the number of external links I include in my posts and across the site, I should probably post my policy on monetizing web traffic, affiliate links and advertising. I’d hate people to get the wrong impression of why I link to what I do.

The short answer is that I make no money from anything here. You’ll never see links to commercial sites that benefit me financially. If I link to pro-domme, shopping or porn sites it’s because I think they’re relevant to the post. I’d like to say this comes from a purity of purpose and some sort of blogging ethos. There is a little bit of that but, realistically, if someone offered me one million dollars to post lolcat pictures, right now you’d all be looking at a lot of felines demanding cheeseburgers.

Quite honestly it’s mostly an effort versus reward trade-off. I like the freedom of being able to write about and link to anything, rather than trying to work posts around something that might make me a few bucks. I’ve nothing against sites that do try to make money, but for me this is a labor of love, and I intend to keep it that way.

I do get a fair number of requests for advertising, and some of them are actual readers rather than marketing spam. However, I like the clean look of the site and really don’t want to spoil it with ads. So if you’ve got a porn site you’d like me to send traffic to, then simply share some of your content with me. If it’s interesting and relevant, I’ll feature it and link to you. That’ll get way more clicks than some small ad on the side.

Given the commercial theme of the post, it seems fitting to feature an image using femdom in a commercial context. This is from a shoot for Loewe clothes by Xevi Muntane featured in ponystep magazine. You can see more of the images from the shoot here. I did not get a cut from of any of them.

Kinky Kevin Bacon

Before I get sued, I should start by saying I have no idea if Kevin Bacon is kinky or not. Instead I had in mind the game named after the eponymous actor, where you try and connect actors and actresses via movies to him. What got me started on this was research for yesterday’s post.

The post itself featured The Spirit, in some artwork created by the artist Darwyn Cooke. Looking him up I discovered that he’d created a series of graphic novels based on Donald Westlake’s (aka Richard Stark) Parker series. I’m a big fan of these books. They’re classic hard boiled American fiction. Raw, exciting and blunt. The first novel, called The Hunter, has been turned into two movies. The rather excellent Point Blank with Lee Marvin and the less good but still entertaining Payback with Mel Gibson. And in that second version, Lucy Liu plays a vicious dominatrix, bringing me all the way back around to femdom again. You can see her longest scene in this clip or a compilation of her scenes here.

Admittedly that’s more a circular connection than anything, but it got me wondering, who would be the kinky equivalent of Kevin Bacon? Who would you pick as the ideal center of the kinky scene to connect everyone to? According to wikipedia Kevin Bacon is himself not the ideal person for the most optimal actor graph. The easiest person to connect changes over time as movies are made, and right now it’s Dennis Hopper, which sounds about right. You want someone who worked with a lot of stars, was around a longtime, and did a wide range of material. So who would you pick for that from the BDSM porn or kink community?

A trapped spirit

I often like to have continuation between blog posts. Some theme or idea in one goes onto inform what I put up next. As soon as I saw this today I realized I could pull off a 2 into 1 continuation. There’s the superhero theme from yesterday’s post and the inverted suspension from the day before. I think that’s a first for me. Never let it be said I’m not pushing the creative boundaries of blogging.

The trapped hero here is the Spirit and I believe the femme fatale, with the nice line in evening wear and shackles, is Madame P’Gell. The original Spirit series was done by the famous Will Eisner, but this beautiful update was created by Darwyn Cooke. I’m afraid I’ve not read his version (or the original for that matter), but by all accounts Darwyn did a great job with it and I think I’ll be adding it to my shopping list.

Domestic bliss at Wayne Manor

Catwoman with a whip is not an unusual sight. At least not for anyone hanging out in the kind of tumblr’s I frequent. But Batman knitting? That was a new one to me. He looks pretty happy about it as well.

A little research led me to this post, which says this is from Bemused Magazine (BEM) a comic fanzine from the 70’s and 80’s. It was drawn by Brian Bolland, a very well known and talented British comic book artist.

I found this on the Submissive Geek tumblr. Fans of the great Julie Newmar as catwoman may also enjoy this post on that same site. It features her in a selection of animated gifs.

A useless shower of bastards

I noticed today that the US Senate has been doing its usual fine job of legislating. With the nations finances in a mess, and a lot of spending cuts and tax rises that nobody wants about to take effect, they took the time to pass a resolution condemning the Village Voice for its adults classified service backpage.com. Apparently it has become “frighteningly simple to order a child prostitute” according to ~~idiot~~ Senator Mark Kirk. The more logical thinkers amongst us might therefore question why, if that incredibly unlikely statement were true, it isn’t equally frighteningly simple to find and arrest the people involved. Unfortunately I suspect logical thinking never entered into this debate.

It has been a bad year for sex work legislation, with California’s proposition 35 being the standout example. The New Statesman recently published a good article on it and similar legislation, attacking the drafting of laws without proper consultation with the ‘victims’ they’re allegedly trying to help. In theory pro-dommes shouldn’t be affected, given that BDSM is legal. However, there’s always a lot of grey area involved in this kind of work. You might be technically completely legal, but do you trust the cops, DA and judge to all agree? Now it only needs one asshole with a loose interpretation of the truth or the law to get a CA sex worker branded as a sex offender for life. And since prop 35 also targets people supported by the proceeds of sex work, her family could also be in the firing line. What a truly terrible piece of legislation.

I’ll leave you with an image of Natassia Dream doing to CJ what the average politician does to the electorate. The shot is from this scene on TS Seduction. You can see here really working her sizable majority in another shot here.

The Dark Knight Confuses

I finally got around to watching the The Dark Knight Rises last week. On the plus side, Anne Hathaway made a fantastic catwoman. The character was well crafted and she was very stylish in the role. On the minus side, the plot of the movie made almost no sense. It was fun to watch, with some great set pieces, but logic clearly took a holiday when it came to writing the script. Bond villains are notorious for giving James a chance to escape and foil their plot rather than simply shooting him in the head. Bane spending 5 months hanging out in Gotham while Bruce goes through a training montage takes that approach to a whole new level of ridiculousness.

Anyway, after yesterdays long post, a little visual loveliness seemed in order. So here’s the delightful Ms Hathaway as catwoman, as found on the Badkitty Kat tumblr.

The internet is not for porn (so says Google)

Google has been messing with their search algorithms again. Specifically image search. The change has not been for the better in my opinion.

Adult bloggers and content providers have long had issues with their approach to sexually explicit content. For example, here’s Bacchus back in 2008 and then again in 2011 highlighting the strangeness of the auto-suggest feature. Now they’ve changed their image search to make it far more reluctant to display sexual images. The algorithm used to be based on classification of the content and your ‘safe search’ settings. With safe search on it filtered porn, with safe search off it didn’t filter. Seemed sensible enough. Now they’re also classifying the query you use. Unless the query shows specific intent to search for porn, they still suppress those images, no matter what your safe search settings. This leads to some pretty bad results.

For, example try image searching for one of my favorite female bloggers and adult stars, Mistress T. Here’s the search on Google and the same search on Bing (you need safe search off in both cases). The Google results are basically garbage, with John Edwards and even Mitt Romney featuring for some bizarre reason. The Bing ones are pretty much what you’d expect for a popular porn star/producer. Or try the famous bondage model Ashley Renee on Google and on Bing. One gives you what you’d expect and one gives you a bunch of police mugshots.

Searching for site names is equally weird. For example, searching for ‘captive male’ gives you a bunch of animal pictures, rather than shots from the site itself. Searching for ‘men in pain’ gives you men with migraines, and the query ‘whipped ass‘ returns random junk. Of course you can always refine your query to really make it clear what you’re after. For example, searching ‘men in pain bdsm‘ does return shots from the kink.com site. However, that refinement is going to change the results returned. Now it’s not giving me the top ranked men in pain images. It’s giving the top ranked ones that also feature the word BDSM near them. Before I could always filter out porn by simply changing my safe search settings to be stricter. Now I have to try and force it to show up by guessing the right query to use. What a stupid change.

Here’s an image from someone else affected by the change. That’s Mistress Madeline, who now barely features in her own image search result page.