Pushing his buttons

After yesterday’s wordy ramblings, here’s a little bit of light entertainment. It’s an advertisement for the Dream Lover 2000, in the form of a flash movie (note that linked page has sound). For those that have never seen this device before, it looks like an advanced form of an electro-shock collar, but designed for a chastity device. The movie is nicely done, with a fun contrast between the upbeat lighthearted style and the function of the device being sold. In fact their whole site is a little unusual. It’s put together in a slick but quite serious way, like they’re selling training devices into a corporate market rather than a BDSM sex toy. There’s a lot of talk about operant conditioning and microchip controllers, but nothing about D/s or kink.

I thought I’d pick an image of a suitably well behaved and trained male. Here’s a little domestic service courtesy of the artist Juan Puyal. I came across it on the Femdom Style Counsel tumblr.

Juan Puyal Artwork

O Canada!

You’ll have to excuse this post. Or not, your call. Either way, it’s going to be a non-femdom focused one. Instead it’s a couple of random things that caught my eye from north of the border.

The first amused me. It’s a series of commercials for a Canadian porn channel that play with the traditional porn stereotypes. There’s a pool boy, pizza guy and a cop ticketing an attractive young lady. They must have had the only casting call where bad acting was a prerequisite.

The second annoyed me. The beautiful woman below is Jenna Talackova, who was disqualified last week from the Miss Universe Canada competition for being born male. She had gender re-assignment surgery in 2010, but apparently didn’t meet the competition requirements of being born a ‘natural woman’. She’d already made it through to the finals, so clearly the earlier judges must have thought she was a suitably attractive competitor.

Miss World and Miss Universe pageants aren’t exactly at the cultural or intellectual cutting edge, but this struck me as particularly dumb even by their standards. In some circumstances qualifying requirements are obviously necessary. For example, this kind of issue can be a thorny one in the area of sports, where genetic men may have a natural advantage. But in a beauty competition? It’s not like being born male offers any kind of advantage. In fact it’s quite the opposite. Are they worried a flood of guys are going to be inspired to try pulling on a frock and entering? If she can overcome the issues of being born with the wrong body and still end up looking this amazing then good luck to her. They don’t ban cosmetic surgery for the other competitors. It seems hypocritical to ban it for her.

Jenna TalackovaJenna Talackova

Incidentally, if you happen on a news article covering this story I’d advise you to stop reading before you get to the readers comments. Otherwise you may feel like taking a bath afterwards. When you spend a lot of time hanging out on blogs written and frequented by open minded LGBT positive people, you tend to forget just how many hateful people there are out there.

Making a good first impression

In the last few days I’ve been enjoying the autobiographical writing of Stephen Fry in his book The Fry Chronicles. He’s well known as a writer, actor and comedian in the UK, although in the US he’s probably best known for his role as Dietrich (the TV host character) in V for Vendetta. I believe he’s also going to be in the upcoming film of Tolkien’s The Hobbit.

He has a great collection of anecdotes, including this one from when he first met Miriam Margolyes. She’s another well known face in Britain, a celebrated character actress who has featured in many significant productions, and was awarded the OBE (Order of the British Empire) for her work. They meet for the very first time at the read through for a play.

…Miriam Margolyes had burst in like a beaming pinball just in time for the start of the read. When is was over she approached me.
‘How do you do? I’m Mir…’ She stopped and plucked at her tongue with her thumb and forefinger, ‘…Miriam Margolyes. Sorry about that, I was licking my girlfriend out last night and I’ve still got some of her cunt hairs in my mouth.’
From ‘The Fry Chronicles’

That’s an introduction you are unlikely to forgot. Of course with the the modern mania for shaving this situation is now far less likely to present itself as an opening conversational gambit. I was going to feature this image originally, which I liked for her expression but not for inappropriate absence of hair. Then I stumbled across the shot below which struck me as very beautiful and very appropriate. Not strictly femdom but a view I’m sure most submissive men will appreciate.

BeautyI found this on the Gorean Kajirus tumblr.

Puppy chow

After the last couple of posts I thought I was done with the dog theme. Then I came across this Max Fisch posting that I felt I had to share.

My partner had a puppy play session and we were buying the proper food. She didn’t want to use real puppy chow due to health concerns while I’ve never had a huge issue with it as the sub’s love it. I have used jerky as a substitute for dog treats, but the dog food itself I never had an issue with. Maybe I have just watched Showgirls too many times and the puppy chow line has become stuck in my head so it seems normal for humans to eat dog food.
….
We ended up compromising on Cocoa Puffs. They did the job, although that seems like quite the condemnation of Cocoa Puffs!
Queen Titania

I’ve always felt that following a busy pro-domme would make a great reality television show. They always have such unusual and yet interesting problems to solve. How do you work out what’s a good food for puppy play? Where do you research the health risks of dog food for humans? Of course I’m sure any TV show would screw it up horribly. They’d turn into a laugh at the freaks special, rather than an empathetic look at interesting people doing unusual things.

I have to admit, whenever I think of eating dog food, I think of Red Dwarf and Lister stuck on a particularly icy moon. Anyone not in tune with early 90’s British comedy has probably got no idea what I’m talking about, so here’s a little taste (with the relevant moment about 2 minutes in).

I’m afraid I couldn’t find a shot of a submissive eating puppy chow, or cocoa puffs for that matter. However, I did have this shot of Mistress Madeline and her doggy slave. It’s not a conventional place to attach a leash, but I’m sure it’s an effective one.

Mistress Madeline with doggy slave

I like power exchange, not link exchange

This is going to be a fairly dry post about blog etiquette and site management. By way of compensation I do have a link to an amusing video clip at the end.

I get regular emails and comments pointing me to the senders blog or tumblr site. I’m always happy to receive these and discover new material. In some cases, when I think it’s worth sharing, I’ll add the links to an appropriate part of this site. Sometimes I’ll just keep an eye on the link and keep it as an option to add publicly after I’ve had chance to read it over a few weeks. The key criteria is do I think the link will be interesting and useful for any of my readers.

However, please don’t email me and offer to do a link exchange. I think it shows a poor attitude towards your sites readership. If you think my site would be interesting and useful to your readers, then link to it. If you’re right then you’ll be enhancing the value of your own site. If you don’t like it, then don’t link. It’s as easy as that. My criteria for linking always adopts that approach. I think if you concentrate on building the best most useful site you can, the rest will sort itself out.

OK. Minor blog rant over, here’s the video link I promised. It’s a sketch by the comedy group The Whitest Kids U Know, featuring a dominatrix’s first day on the job. It’s not hysterically funny, but it did made me smile. Although I’m pretty certain they’re wrong about the key to being a good dominatrix.

Happy childhood memories

I love the strange covers of the trashy erotic novels and fiction magazines that appeared from the 1950’s through to the 1970’s. They’re often very lurid and melodramatic, with weird sexual ideas. This one is a particularly good example of their what-the-fuck strangeness, with its newly minted lesbian castratrix. I found this on the femdom artists site, and Her Majestys Plaything also featured some similar covers in a recent post.

The reason for the post title is not because I was almost emasculated by a strangely large lesbian archer as a child. Although that might explain a few things if it were true. In fact, oddly enough, the title is due to my Uncle. He was an ordained Methodist minister by profession, politically active in the local community and highly literate. As you’d expect with that kind of resume, his study was crammed with dense complex books relating to religion, philosophy, sociology and politics. But one enormous bookcase, almost covering an entire wall, was packed with erotic novels. He had all the classics (Delta of Venus, The story of O, Fanny Hill, etc.) but the majority were kinky and explicit works of a more recent vintage. They featured everything from vicious female Nazi doctors through naughty British schoolgirls to seductive French countesses. Sometimes all in the same book.

As you might expect for a horny teenager with kinky tendencies, that bookcase was my holy grail. I planned my visits to his house like an Oceans 11 style heist caper. How could I sneak into the study, dodge the various family members, acquire a book and escape for some private time, before replacing it undetected? Unfortunately I was less George Clooney and more Groucho Marx when it came to the smooth execution of complex plans, and usually ended up being forced to ‘borrow’ one of his conventional books as cover. It’s hard pretty hard to jerk off to the life and works of Catholic philosopher Thomas Aquinas unless you’re a real sicko. Finally, one happy summer, we traded houses with his family for a few days, and I spent every night sneaking his sleaziest nastiest books back to my room. I think I probably slept five or six hours in total over 4 very onanistic nights.

Naked Archer

The meaning of life

This image made me smile. I don’t find it particularly erotic. It’s a little too surreal and impersonal for that. But it did put me in mind of a Monty Python sketch in the movie the Meaning of Life. It features a man who gets to choose the method of his execution and well, you can see what he picks in this clip. It’s not the funniest sketch in the movie (that would be this musical number), but if you were going to re-shoot it for the male submissive this looks like it’d be a great cast to use.

Squadron of asian girls in leatherI found this on the Bits and Pieces tumblr site.

Pucker up froggy…

I would normally drawn the line at bestiality on this blog, but here’s a little princess on frog action that made me smile. No captions or subtitles needed, those two expressions tell it all. That’s one enchanted prince who’ll be sticking to catching flies. And it’s nice to see a variation on the common princess archetypes. She doesn’t look like she’ll be singing to birds or cracking jokes whilst kicking ass.

The Frog and the PrincessThe artist is Serge Birault. You can see a lot more of his work on his blog. I found it via this Mistress Fantasy post.

Comedy Moments in Watersports

A little change of pace for this post. This features an amusing short film (~7 minutes) that I came across on Lady Aconite’s blog. As the post title suggests it is watersports related, but this is M/f rather than F/m, and doesn’t feature any explicit visuals. It does however feature some strong language and verbal humiliation, so don’t watch if that’s liable to upset you.

I thought it was pretty funny, although I did want to give the male character a good shake for being so hopeless. However, I doubt my own skills as a dominant would be much to write home about.

I dislike embedded videos on my front page, so I’ve put it on a separate page. Click through to watch ‘Piss’ by Bette Bentley.

Stupidest thing you’ll read today

I realize that as far as title’s go, that’s not one guaranteed to lure the reader in. I’m also aware that some people may be thinking “So how is that different to the rest of your posts?” However, I’m fairly confident that most people will agree that the linked article is even more ridiculous than my usual random rubbish.

The article in question is about pornography rather than femdom, but it was amusing/infuriating enough that I though it worth sharing. The title is “Pornography and National Security”, which would also make a pretty good onion article title. The author Jennifer S. Bryson (of the Witherspoon Institute) uses it to argue that widespread pornography may be contributing to the problem of terrorism. As far as I can tell she bases that on the fact that terrorists have been found with pornography and have been known to visit strip clubs.

It’s written in classic Fox news style, light on facts, but heavy on leading questions like “Is it possible that…?”, “Could it be….?” and “Are we as a society…..?”

Personally I wonder, could the author possibly have her head further up her ass? Is it really true that she doesn’t understand the difference between correlation and causation? Does she perhaps not see the contradiction between claiming that pornography is ubiquitous and simultaneously claiming that finding it on terrorists is meaningful of something? Would she be better off spending her time on her line of biblical coloring books rather than writing fact free articles trying to link 9/11 to pornography?

My favorite quote from the article is:

Would those terabytes of pornography and such more aptly be dubbed “terrorbytes”?

Errr, how about no? Although it does sound like a great idea for a Stephen Colbert monologue.