Humor – Page 20 – Femdom Resource

That time of year

I just filed my US tax returns. For some reason I feel like posting this pair of images from the strapon dreamer site …

I guess I should note that I do actually like the stuff my taxes pay for. I’m keen on things like roads, the FAA, food safety and a government that at least tries to offer health care. Having to pay a lot in taxes is one of those problems like discovering your Porsche has a puncture or that your bottle of Mouton Rothschild is corked. It’s not likely to garner a lot of sympathy. However, just as it’s an individuals duty to contribute to the nation, I also think that complaining about it is very much part of the process. Much the same way British people complain about the weather: It doesn’t help, but it does make people feel better.

Check out my enormous package

I have no idea what’s going on here. His pose is an aggressive ‘look at this big boy’, more usually found when brandishing an appendage rather than a huge medieval chastity device. She’s also got a look of ‘oh my, that’s a big one’, something better suited to lustful appreciation than chastity key holding.

I’ve failed to track down a source or an artist. If I had to guess I’d say it’s a vintage comic or book cover done by an artist used to illustrating more traditional erotica. Often illustrators in the 60’s and 70’s were simply given the title of a new publication and told to use their imagination. Perhaps this title featured femdom and chastity, but the artist couldn’t imagine anything other than a thrusting male and a wide eyed female.

I found this on the Old Erotic Art tumblr.

Grovelling as an art form

I typically shy away from Western articles on the less mainstream parts of Japanese culture. They’re often thinly concealed racism expressed as a veneer of humor around cultural differences. However, this article by Kotaku manages to avoid that trap while presenting some brilliant animated gifs. They’re all about assuming the supplicant or grovelling position, but in increasingly elaborate and acrobat ways. Fortunately, for readers of this blog, the grovelling is all happening before attractive and haughty women. I particularly like the final pyramid apology style, although it does suggest that if they’d spent less time practicing it and more time actually doing the original task, they might not have needed to grovel in the first place.

The image below is from the livedoor page the Kotaku article was derived from. I’m not sure that standing on your head counts as an apology, but it’s certainly eye catching.

Ivy and Robin

Batman and Catwoman often show up in D/s situations, but it’s more unusual to see Robin and Poison Ivy getting kinky. This is from Batman and Robin Adventures #8. Fortunately (or possibly unfortunately) for Robin, Harley Quinn eventually gets upset playing second fiddle to the boy wonder and feeds him the antidote to Ivy’s charms. Although that’s not before he’s spent some time shirtless and massaging her feet.

I originally found this on the Robin Wilde tumblr, which has a larger version of the image.

Losing her cherry

I’m slightly ashamed of what I’m about to do. I swore I’d never do it. Yet here, I am, about to link to a BuzzFeed article. The site whose sole purpose seems to be to show up in annoying unfunny facebook posts from people I can barely remember friending, is about to get click traffic from me, damn it.

The article in question – 34 GIFs that sum up your first sexual experience – isn’t even femdom, but it did make me laugh a lot (particularly #5 & #18). BuzzFeed stole it all from a reddit thread of course.

As a teenager I always thought sex would be this amazing and intensely pleasurable experience. In time I found out that while that can be true, getting there involves a fair amount of awkwardness, mistakes, messiness, embarrassing moments and humorous situations (those mostly in hindsight). That really doesn’t get mentioned as much as it should.

I leave you with a shot of a lady about to lose her cherry. I hope he’s gentle (for his sake).

This image is from the photographer H Morgen.

Normal service will be resumed shortly

I believe the last week or so has been my slowest posting rate since I started this blog. A double header of vacation and sickness will do that for you. Fortunately I’m back in Seattle now, and so if I can just shake off this damn bug, I can get back to posting more normally.

Despite my germ cursed state, I did manage to indulge in some kinky play in San Francisco. I’ll be blogging about that in coming posts. I’ve also some photographs and a short video to share, assuming I can figure out how to edit and convert it appropriately. In the meantime, while I go hunt down some NyQuil, I’ll leave you with something that made me smile. I think it’s by the artist Bathgate21 who also did this drawing. Pepé Le Pew is notorious for not taking ‘No’ as an answer. Perhaps some time as bottom to Bugs will cure him of that.

Two plums for teacher

Tradition dictates that teachers should be given an apple. I’m not sure if this student forget or if she just decided to grab something extra. He looks kind of old to be in the classroom, but I think it’s clear he still has a lot to learn.

I found this on the Superior Women tumblr. I’m afraid I’ve failed to track down an original attribution. All the reverse images searches come back with links to MILF porn, which I find kind of amusing, given that there’s probably not a big difference in their respective ages.

Wrist deep

Here’s another post for the fisting file. This is an image I feel I should have organized a captioning competition for. That pose and that expression just cry out for it. My personal entry might have been – “Hmmm. That’s odd. So if I didn’t leave my car keys here, just where did I leave them?” Or possibly – “That noisy new couple upstairs are screwing again. I can hardly hear myself fist down here.” If neither of those grab you, feel free to leave far better alternative in the comments.

The other thing that amuses me about this image is the rubber gloves she’s wearing. They’re identical to the type my mother has purchased for years to do the washing up in. Everytime she visits me a pair magically turn up next to my sink. I never imagined them possessing a kinky purpose, and I think seeing a domme pull them on would be very weird.

I’ve no idea where this image is from. Reverse image searches tell me nothing. So if anyone can help attribute it then please leave a comment.

Update: In response to those pink gloves Tim (via a comment) provided a link to this video. It’s not femdom, but it is sexual in a weird way, and it made me laugh. I wondering if fisting is on his agenda?

Fisting injuries

Apparently fisting can be dangerous. If you’re not careful the dominant might end up laughing so hard that she bumps her head. That’s at least according to this post by Rain DeGrey.

I’ve never tried fisting and, after reading her post, I can’t say I’m in a big hurry to. The intensity of it sounds a little intriguing but more disturbing. I’ve gone icy cold during heavy play, and experienced pins and needles in non-constricted extremities as my body pulls back blood into its core. But I’ve never experienced the kind of brief blindness that Rain describes. I suspect that would freak me the hell out.

The charming sequence of images below are by the artist Gracy Gimp. They are actually from a sequence of 9 images titled Adèle & Lambert. Shown below is the first four and the very final one (click to enlarge any of them). The missing intermediate drawings are numbered 5, 6, 7 and 8.

A pig led relationship (plr)

I found these images via this Eros Blog post, which led me to this article and finally to the gallery page of the artist Emily Rangel. These kind of parodies always work best when they have a natural fit with the characters conventional personalities, and I think the artist chose wisely here. It’s easy to picture Miss Piggy as a top, and they’d make for a well matched D/s couple. Or should that be P/f couple?

The article claims these sculptures will ‘haunt your dreams’. That doesn’t worry me at all. I have weirder dreams than this all the time. My problem is that since I first saw these, several hours ago now, I’ve had that damn Mahna Mahna muppets song stuck in my head (original version here). All together now: Do doo be-do-do, Mahna Mahna, Do do-do do, Mahna Mahna, Do doo de-do-do de-do-do de-do-do de-do-do-doodle do do do-doo do!