Tag: Ff

The Bug

The big news story of the day is the new strain of coronavirus that has been spreading around the world. With people dying and the economy tanking, it seems somewhat silly to talk about its affect on kink and sex. However, those are the primary subjects of this blog and you get what you pay for, so here we go.

The key question for anyone with either casual play partners or when doing professional sessions is: What level of precaution makes sense? Do you keep going as normal? Stop until we’re told the pandemic has passed? Only do scenes involving full body prophylactics or bullwhips with a reach of longer than 6 feet?

It gets even more complicated for pro-dommes and other sex workers. On one hand getting sick from close interaction is a major risk. On the other, a stream of cancellations and clients being afraid to book means no income. I’ve already seen a lot of social media commentary on this, with a wide variety of emphasis on risk avoidance versus lost opportunities. Some professionals are temporarily relaxing their cancellation penalties to discourage playing while sick. I even saw one suggestion of only seeing clients from certain ‘safe’ areas, both to reduce risk and to reassure clients from those areas that sessions would be low risk.

For those without specific government rules around quarantine, I think everyone has to draw their own lines in the sand. Guidance around washing hands and not touching your face aren’t much help when it comes to deciding on the safety of say genital torture versus smothering. Although I would love to have the Surgeon Generals opinion on that.

The one piece of advice I’d give would be to be as transparent as possible with your play partners. Consent is about making an informed decision, and information is obviously a very necessary part of that. If I have any minor thing pop up in the days before I play, I’ll always email my prospective play partner to let them know. That gives them plenty of time to assess the risk and decide if they want to cancel, reschedule or wait to see how it develops. If I end up too sick to play, they at least they got an early heads-up. Obviously nobody should ever be playing with others if they think they have the new strain of coronavirus, but for other bugs I’ve been surprised at the variety of reactions. Some pro-dommes are OK as long as I can stagger to their playspace, where others have strict rules around staying away until fully healthy.

So share your health information and share it early. If it’s a regular seasonal cold then both parties need to make an informed decision. If it might be COVID-19 then get tested and stay in quarantine if necessary.

This medical themed image is from Domina Contessa Cara. She is based in Essen and her professional site is available here.

A Stroppy Server

Apologies if you tried and failed to access the site in the last day or so. All the tiny electronic wizards that carry my wise words down to your phones and computers went on strike. I did file a ticket with my hosting company, but I guess that one of their customers sites being totally offline doesn’t rate as an important issue. Presumably I’d need my server to actually explode and burn down their data center to get a timely response on a weekend. I finally managed to get the tiny wizards back into line by rebooting everything, so we’ll see how long that lasts.

Talking of frustrating and annoying situations – it’s tax season in the US. Even a masochist like myself struggles to eroticize that kind of pain. However, I was happy to see this article in the NY Times about Mistress Lori the Tax Domme. She specializes in tax preparation for anyone in the adult industry. While the US government might do everything it can to make life difficult for sex workers, that’s still not going to stop them demanding a share of their earnings. They really should change the motto on the dollar bill from ‘In God We Trust’ to ‘Fuck you. That’s why.’

Oddly enough, while I don’t use Mistress Lori for my tax returns, I do use an accountant recommended to me by a pro-domme. I figured if they could handle her complicated returns, they should have no problem with mine. So far that logic seems to have worked out pretty well. I just wish I could figure out a way to write off my session tributes. Medical expenses maybe? They do feature a lot of needles, sutures, electroshock and prostate exams.

I’ve never actually met my accountants, as everything is handled over email, but this is definitely how I picture them when I send in my paperwork. Given my horrible financial organization, this look of scorn, pity and disappointment would not be unwarranted.

This is from Femme Fatale Films, featuring Mistress Eleise and Mistress Miranda. It’s from a scene called ‘Not Good Enough.‘

Contrasts with Natsukiss

There’s something quite beautiful about the contrasts in the image below. The dark background against the pale flesh and simple white stage. The extreme intensity of the bondage position against the simplicity of the setting. The taut body of the helpless submissive with the poised and comfortable position of the dominant. It’s a lovely shot of Mistress Natsukiss in action. Although, if I’m honest, I really prefer this less explicit but more intimate shot. Both are taken from the same twitter post.

The Thrill of the Tease

My Los Angles trip got off to a fabulous start playing with Mistress Iris. It had been a while since we’d played together and it was lovely to catch up with her again.

I’m always fascinated by the different ways sadism and masochism can manifest. There’s the obvious physical and emotional varieties which I regularly blog about here. Mistress Iris specializes in the rarer kind that manifests at the fine edge of frustrated pleasure and the unsatisfied ache of desire. If you can maintain the necessary balance it’s a wonderfully fine edge to slide along. It’s rare to get me growling unless physical pain is involved, but I was definitely doing my best angry puppy impression in our session today.

This is Mistress Iris deploying her tease talents on some virgin catholic boys with Liara Roux. This is taken from this tweet, via Mistress Iris’s twitter feed.

Beret Time

A couple of weeks back I posted that the veil was the least fetishized item of women’s clothing. I think this image introduces a late contender into that particular race – the beret. In all the years I’ve sacrificed to the studious and dispassionate analysis of attractive models in fetish gear, I think this might be the first hot beret shot I’ve found.

In my previous post on veils, I expressed surprise that it didn’t feature more often in femdom. I’m not going to go that route with berets. I think the hotness of this image is more a tribute to the talent of the women involved – Mistress Iris and Mistress Adreena Angela – than the hat in question. It’s like an UGG boot. You can make it sexy, but you have to work against its natural tendencies to do so.

Image was from this tweet, with latex outfits from Blacklickorish and shot in LA. I’ve had amazing sessions with both Mistress Iris and Mistress Adreena separately, so can’t imagine what the two of them would be like together. If they were taking joint sessions during this time, I hope the lucky LA submissives appreciated it.

On the Steps at Night

Right now I should be somewhere warm and sunny relaxing with friends. I’d planned a non-kinky but fun getaway for a few days post Thanksgiving. Unfortunately I’ve been hit by one of the seasonal viruses that love to show up this time of year. So I figured I’d rather be miserable at home than miserable travelling. Bleah!

While I head off to crawl under a duvet, I’ll leave you with a totally random image to enjoy. This is pretty much the opposite of warm and sunny and has zero to do with seasonal bugs. I just spotted it via this tweet and loved the atmosphere of the shot. I believe that’s Mistress Niko Flux and Mistress Sybil Fury, both pro-dommes based out of NYC.

The image was posted by Kareem Montes, who I assume is the photographer.  You can see more great work from her via her instagram.

Bah, Humbug! (And other related candy products)

Is there a label for people who don’t like Halloween? Other than miserable bastards that is. Christmas has Grinch and Scrooge, but I don’t know of one for Halloween. If it exists, then I’m it. In my world it competes with Easter for worst communal event, a notch below Columbus day and several below Arbor day. For most people getting dressed up in a fun costume is a special event, but for kinky people, that’s just Tuesday.

All grouching aside, I do like this Halloween themed shot of Mistress Damazonia and her partner/submissive in life Natalie Mars. In a world where politicians have failed, and people have lost faith in their leaders, this is a pair of authoritarian rulers I could really get behind. Or, more appropriately, kneel down in front of.

Image is from this tweet.

No Boys Allowed

I don’t feature a lot of F/f material here. Not because it isn’t interesting, but because there’s so much femsub imagery floating around online. It often seems like the de facto BDSM image is a female submissive, and I generally feel no urge to add to that skewed perspective.

However – and I’m sure you knew there was a however coming here – I’m going to make an exception for this post. This image is from Adreene Angela’s all female play party, as featured in this tweet. I like it because the energy and dynamic feels so different to most of the kinky F/f imagery I see. It looks like play rather than a pose, and it doesn’t have the sense of male gaze that’s so prevalent in kink.

Image is from Mistress Adreena Angela’s twitter feed.

Multidimensional Sexuality

I thought this article covering the latest research on the link between sexual orientation and genetics was interesting. The short version is that’s no such thing as a single ‘gay gene’. Instead there are multiple genes that play a role in sexual orientation, and genetics are only part of the story.

Another interesting aspect – as this tweet makes clear – is that sexual attraction needs to be judged on two dimensions rather than one. The classic kinsey scale is one dimensional, running from 100% heterosexual to 100% homosexual. This latest study shows that we need to think in two dimensions – same sex and opposite sex attraction. Feeling more attracted to the same sex doesn’t necessarily mean being less attracted to the opposite sex, and vice-versa. You could be attracted to strongly to both, strongly to one or strongly to neither.

This image is from the Sunstone comic series by Stjepan Šejić. It’s a series that manages to cover a pretty full set of sexual dimensions.

Kink and Cults

This article is longer than the kind I usually share and not specifically femdom, but I found it fascinating, so I’m going to share it here anyway. It’s by Tina Horn and draws connections between religious cults like the Moonies (which her parents were part of) and some aspects of BDSM culture. She’s worked as both a pro-domme and pro-sub, and those with knowledge of the professional scene on the East coast might well find themselves speculating on the identity of the ‘The Space’ she describes in the article. I can only think of one place that fits the bill.

This image of Tina Horn is taken from this interview with her in Slutist magazine.