Femdom Resource – Page 243 – The beauty of dominant women

More art

This is in many ways a continuation of yesterday’s post. In that one I was talking about writing from a personal perspective and avoiding unnecessary judgement. As I wrote it I was put in mind of one of my favorite posts from Tycho on Penny Arcade. In writing about a deeply stupid videogame trailor he came up with this…

The answer is always more art; the corollary to that is the answer is never less art. If you start to think that less art is the answer, start over. That’s not the side you want to be on.

I love that quote. It’s very much how I feel. I often run across blogs decrying the quality or content of BDSM and femdom pornography. I normally don’t disagree with their underlying sentiment, but I do wonder about the value of their posts. A good angry rant can be highly cathartic, but it’s rarely productive. I doubt any pornographer ever ran across a blog angrily slamming his or her work and was struck by the inherent truthiness of the posts. However, create or curate an interesting body of work that reflects your interests, and there’s always a chance you’ll inspire others to create work in a similar vein.

I realize this post isn’t exactly strong on the femdom theme, so in an effort to correct that and to continue curating my own collection of art, here’s a little something from Divine Bitches via Blue Keys tumblr.

Winning hearts and minds

A few days ago I wrote about a Mormon who supported the idea of abstinence until marriage. It’s not an approach I’d subscribe to, but his comments did raise some interesting questions for me. Today’s post brings you a similar viewpoint, this time from a Christian, but written in a very different way. A little quote should give the flavor. This is him on his critics who said it’d never work…

Turns out that people couldn’t have been more wrong. Looking back, I think that the women saying those things felt like the floozies they ultimately were, and the men, with their fickle manhood tied to their pathetic sexual conquests, felt threatened.

I’m not linking to this article because I think the writer has anything interesting to say. He comes across as a judgmental ass who’s opinion isn’t worth the 0.000001 cents it cost to download it. I’m linking because I thought the contrast between the two original sources was interesting. The first got me thinking, the second pissed me off. The difference was writing about yourself versus writing about others.

I think it’s really hard to go wrong when writing about what is important or meaningful to yourself. In contrast, it’s really hard to get it right when doing it about others. This isn’t to say you can’t make general points about life, the universe and everything. It’s just that they work so much better when the general is revealed via the personal. The good sex blogs write about themselves. The great ones write about others by writing about themselves. The rest of us just scour tumblr for hot pictures to repost.

Today’s hot picture from tumblr comes courtesy of Girls Rule, Subs Drool.

Bad girls have all the fun

Britain and Japan are undoubtedly the two countries that produce the most porn featuring school uniforms. That’s not really surprising given they both have a strong mainstream culture of school uniforms, and childhood through to adolescence is doubtless a great time to work on building your personal fetishes. Most examples of the genre are of the schoolgirl in peril type, but there’s a fun niche featuring ‘bad girls’ doing mean things.

Here’s a nice entry into that particular niche. She’s got the requisite cigarette (always a sign of a troublemaker), the devil-may-care attitude, and the sloppily worn tie and blazer combination. I suspect the leather pants and realistic strap-on are sadly not part of the uniform guidelines.

I found this on the 24-7 Sub tumblr.

The little things

It’s often small details that make a photograph come to life for me. Some little thing that I can connect with and use to spin my own private fantasy. I suspect in a lot of cases they’re accidental touches that the photographer never planned or was even aware of.

In the case of this image it’s not her attractive figure or the brandished crop that caught my eye, it’s his upturned feet on the bed. I can just picture him in a classic ‘chilling in hotel room’ pose. He’s flipping channels, scratching his stomach and debating raiding the mini-bar when this vision of kinky loveliness appears at the door. The scene from there pretty much writes itself. There’s a cliched jaw drop, a comically inappropriate family show on the tv, a slow deliberate saunter into the room, a howl as the crop smacks his feet and a scramble to get off the bed and into position.

I’ve completely failed to track down an original source for this image. I found it on the Kinky Games tumblr.

That Wascally Wabbit

I’m not sure if this really counts as femdom. Bugs may have a penchant for slipping into a dress whenever the situation demands it, but he is consistently portrayed as a male rabbit. I guess that makes this cross dressing bestiality BDSM. That’s typically not a category that I’m eager to see an image from. However, this one made me smile. It seems to fit with Bug’s personality so well. And, God help me, he does look pretty good in that black, white and blonde get-up.

I believe the artist goes by the handle Bathgate21. You can see more of his work in this gallery. I also enjoyed this image, featuring Bugs, Elmer and Daffy. They make a great trio whatever the situation, and featured in one of the funniest cartoon sequences ever committed to celluloid.

Ignorance is bliss?

When you spend as long as I do hanging out on sex positive blogs, it’s easy to forget just how much attitudes can vary outside that bubble. I was intrigued to stumble across this post quoting a Mormon on the subject of sexual compatibility. He was a virgin when he married, as was his wife, and he looks on that fact as a plus…

If we had “shopped around” or experienced sex with many different people, it would have ruined the beauty and simplicity of what we have.

I’m going to guess most of my readers will react as I initially did to this, which was to laugh and wonder how ignorance can possibly be a good thing. How can he make any kind of informed judgement? Maybe they’re having really bad sex and have no idea it should be any different.

But then it got me thinking about the relative nature of happiness. There are few absolutes when it comes to assessing satisfaction and quality of life. For example, studies have shown that when it comes to wealth, happiness isn’t related to the amount you earn, but how much you earn relative to your social circle. Being the ‘poor’ person in your group makes you unhappy, even if your absolute income is high. Knowledge in that case makes you unhappier. So if a couple are happy having mediocre sex, is that a bad thing? Are you better off not knowing what you’re missing out on?

Obviously the ideal state is to know for sure you’re having great sex! And as an information junkie, I think I’d always rather be informed, even if it made me more aware of problems. But it’s an interesting angle to ponder, particularly when I reflect back on life and the ‘might have been’ situations. I often feel regretful that I waited until my 30’s to act on my kinky inclinations. I feel I lost a decade or more where I could have been enjoying all BDSM has to offer. Yet, the knowledge of the pleasure it brings me has undoubtedly complicated my life. It makes dating and finding a suitable partner a lot harder for a start. Would I have been better off not knowing? Leaving that side of myself alone? Most of my friends have married over the last few years and started families. Could I have been happy in a vanilla relationship? Will I ultimately look back on my exploration of kink as a curse rather than a blessing? I hope not, but as Einstein observed, knowledge can be a dangerous thing.

The image is by the Scottish painter Jack Vettriano. A lot of his work has a sexual and kinky vibe to it, and he’s obviously got a fetish for 50’s costumes and high heels, although not typically with a femdom slant. There’s more background on him available in this article.

Cultural Anomaly

There’s an ongoing and tedious debate about the cultural meaning of facials. According to the ever moderate Gail Dines it’s one of the most degrading acts in porn. That’s a statement which makes me wonder what she’d make of some of my porn movies and images.

Unfortunately I’ve yet to find any really well reasoned philosophical analysis of shots involving men hanging upside down having self-facials administered by elegantly dressed ladies. If I stumble across such a thing I’ll be sure to let you all know. In the meantime I’ll leave you with this image from Femdom Chronicles. Hopefully nobody will feel too degraded after viewing it.

After the fact

Here’s a nice brace of shots to pair with yesterday’s post. That showed the build up to a cuckold scene. This shows what I assume is the aftermath to one. I guess it could be his own cum she’s about to feed him, but I suspect not.

Incidentally, these plug style gags seem to be very popular in Japanese BDSM porn, but rare in the Western equivalent. I’m not really sure why that is, as they look pretty sexy. All the benefits of a ring style gag, without the risk of it rotating in the mouth. Plus, the insertable plug adds a nice touch of objectification.

I found these images on the Felm Cyber tumblr. I’m afraid I have no idea where they originally came from.

The complexity of cuckolding

I’ve never been involved in cuckolding. I’m not sure I ever will be. But I do find it a fascinating topic.

I think part of that fascination is to do with the different ways it can manifest itself. Just looking at my blogroll demonstrates that. I apologize in advance if I mischaracterize anyone here, but I think it’s very clear there are quite distinct approaches described. Vanessa seems to have one of the more traditional approaches. She goes out and fucks guys, and enjoys rubbing it in her husbands face (quite literally). Scott and Em also play with the humiliation angle, but the action often involves Scott as well, even if that just means he’s present in the room. It’s more of a pair plus one, rather than two distinct pairs featuring a single female. Then there’s Suzanne, whose relationship seems to be more of a trio, with her sissy husband playing a very intimate role in her sexual couplings. And of course there are those bloggers like Axe who personally dislike the general idea of cuckolding.

As someone who doesn’t kink on emotional masochism or humiliation I tend to side with Axe’s point of view. I certainly get the activity at an intellectual level, but it doesn’t typically push my buttons sexually. However, it’s such a complex dynamic that I find it hard to say for sure. For example, I can imagine a tease and denial type cuckold play that could be very hot. That wouldn’t be a type of rejection or humilation, but simply temporary denial and sadism via sexual frustration. After all, a lot of submissives kink on chastity, orgasm control and very obvious female pleasure. Of course for that style of play, you have to almost completely set aside the emotional aspects of it, which for others is exactly the appeal. As I said, it’s a complicated topic.

I’ll leave you with this shot, originally from Cuckold Sessions, I found it on Femdom Archive tumblr. It looks like it’s taken from an intro-sequence, with a helpful cuckold preparing his mistress for her fun to come.

Back home

I’ve returned safely from my vacation in LaLa land. However, I’ve now got a relative flying in to stay with me for a couple of weeks, so posting may continue to be a bit erratic. Apologies in advance for that.

I’m looking forward to sharing the photographs of my sessions from the last few days. I got to experience all sorts of interesting activities, and we photographed a lot of them. In the meantime, while I go and prepare the spare room for my new guest, I’ll leave you with this shot that I found on reddit. Not sure of the context or who created it, but I thought it was striking and a little unusual.