Femdom Resource – Page 243 – The beauty of dominant women

A game for two or more

It’s hard to overemphasize the importance of not leaving a bound person unattended. Should you ever be tempted to do so, I’d suggest you keep in mind the story of the Montreal guy who popped out for groceries while his submissive was tied up by her collar. While he was figuring out what to have for dinner, she died of asphyxiation. He tried to claim it was an accident but, quite rightly in my view, was found guilty of criminal negligence.

While I’m all for maximizing safety, I found part of the first linked article a little surprising.

…put safety first, which means buying the right equipment that has release devices allowing subs to free themselves from bondage and similar confinement situations. In other words, subs must always be able to effortlessly free themselves because, for example, a domme/dom could be standing two feet away and suffer a heart attack or something.

I’ve been on the receiving end of a lot of bondage and I can’t think of anytime I’ve been in quick release devices. I get the need when you’re playing with someone you’re not too familiar with, but for normal play in an established relationship? Being able to effortless free myself would seem to miss the point somewhat.

It’s true that a heart attack for the domme would present a problem for me. But so would a heart attack for the guy doing 70 mph on the freeway behind me tomorrow morning. Or come to that, a heart attack all of my own. Or getting randomly shot in a bar. Or deliberately shot in a bar for that matter. Not every American takes kindly to my drunken theories on the innate superiority of British music and comedy. Life is full of risks.

Only using quick release cuffs would also seem to rule out rope bondage. That would be a great shame as it can be very beautiful.

Both of these images are from the bondage is not a crime tumblr. You can see a couple of other shots from the same sequences here and here.

The mainstream adoption of BDSM images

The New York Times featured an article on BDSM today. It wasn’t anything too surprising. Just the obligatory mention of 50 Shades of Grey and commentary on how BDSM is moving more into the mainstream. It’s nice to see a positive non-judgmental article in a major newspaper, but that’s nothing too unusual these days. What did surprise me was the photograph they featured with it (viewable here).

The 50 shades phenomenon has triggered a lot of BDSM articles and most of them either feature stock images of equipment (handcuffs, gag, etc.) or a cliched dominatrix trope (leather boots, a coiled whip on a hip, etc). The dominatrix photograph doesn’t make much sense given that 50 shades was a maledom story, but using an attractive women in a sexy outfit to sell a story isn’t exactly unusual. What surprised me about the NY Times images was that it actually featured a femdom image with both a man and a woman in it. That’s rare in my experience. Most mainstream articles are happy to describe BDSM play but rarely feature an image of it.

This isn’t to say D/s pairs can’t be seen in mainstream media. Fashion photographers seem to love that dynamic. I regularly stumble across arty fashion shots that have models portraying ideas of dominance and power. So it would seem mainstream publications are happy to use D/s pairings to sell entirely unrelated products, but are reluctant to use them in factual stories about real D/s. That must make sense to someone, but that someone isn’t me.

This image is from a fashion shoot called ‘The Night Porter’ by the photographer Harvey Miedreich for The Libertine. I found it on the Undiscovered Limits (aka Untamed Dark Mane) tumblr.

Sex addicts anonymous

I’ve never been particularly convinced by the idea of sex addiction and this article by Dr Marty Klein does a good job of knocking the concept down. What I found particularly fascinating was the link he provided to a sexual addiction test. In just a few minutes you can allegedly find out if you’re a sex addict.

I took the test, answered honestly, and discovered that I was in fact a sex addict. Surprised by that result I took it again, answered equally honestly, and discovered that I was not a sex addict. This seemed to suggest the survey methodology might be a touch flawed. The problem is the ambiguity of the questions. Two different but valid interpretations can give two different but valid answers. For example…

Are any of your activities against the law?
Well it depends what US state I’m in, but if I’m doing it right, yes.
Have you ever felt degraded by your sexual behaviors?
Personally I think it’s hot when a domme pees in my mouth, but it’s a good sort of degradation. Does that count?
Do you hide some of your sexual behaviors from others?
I have to be honest. I haven’t told 100% of my friends about my love of electrified butt plugs.
Do you spend a considerable time surfing pornography online?
Well this blog isn’t going to write itself. But it’s purely for research purposes. Honest.
etc. etc.

Oddly one of the questions asks if you regularly engage in sadomasochistic behavior. So presumably that’s some sort of indicator. Maybe my first survey result was right after all. And judging by his expression, the gentleman below might be in danger of developing my addiction as well. That young lady is clearly a dangerous sex dealer.

This image is originally from Strapon Dreamer. I found it via the Your Vengeful Goddess tumblr.

Communicating with smile and a stare

I got to enjoy some electrical play with Lydia tonight, so I’m in a particularly happy frame of mind. We didn’t snap any photographs to share but, given the nature of the play, the shot below caught my eye as a suitable one to commemorate it with.

There’s not a lot to see from an equipment perspective, but their exchange of looks really makes the image a memorable one. His is one that I’m sure most submissives will recognize. It’s the look of “I know you’re going to twist that knob, and at some level I kind of want you to do it, but I’m still going to try my forlorn puppy dog look in the hope you’ll only turn it to 9 rather than 10.” Her look suggests amusement but also inevitability. It’s the “I love it when you make those faces, but you really should know by now it’s not going to help.”

I found this on the BDSM++ tumblr (which has some fairly extreme pictures, so browse with caution).

Biting his lip

Biting your own lip is normally a sign of being nervous or pensive. But what does it mean when somebody else bites them for you? In this case, she doesn’t look all that nervous, although he probably should be. Those clips look like they’ll sting when they get yanked off.

This is from Divine Bitches and I believe that’s Maitresse Madeline with her hands wrapped around his head.

Carrying the essentials

Tonight’s post brings you the last of my sequence of corporal themed images. It’s an old school dynamic captured in a modern shot.

Personally I’m not a big fan of the mother/governess/nanny roleplay. I like dominants to hit me because they think it’s fun and they enjoy doing so. Not because I’ve done something ‘wrong’ and it’s therefore their duty to punish me. However, I can appreciate a well done version of the old fashioned punishment theme, and I think this qualifies on that score. The 50’s style dress and handbag are a nice touch.

The image is of Mistress Morgana, a pro-domme and kink teacher based in San Francisco. You can see more images from the same shoot in this gallery.

The joy of a red bottom

I’m spending a couple of days down in Portland to celebrate a friend’s birthday. Updates may therefore be slightly more erratic than usual. I normally manage to combine kink+food+drink into my trips, but in this case I’ll be missing the first and most enjoyable part.

In the meantime, here’s two more images on the corporal theme. I’m normally not a fan of shots featuring the domme staring into the camera. I prefer them to be engaged with their submissive. However, the “Hey! Look What I did” genre is a happy exception. It’s always a pleasure to see a dominant take pride in her work.

I found both of these images on the Some Husbands Need Disciple tumblr.

Leaving their mark

Moving on from yesterday’s action shot, here’s one showing the after effects of some corporal punishment. At least I hope for his sake it’s the after effects. Stopping to pose for a photograph and then starting all over again would just be cruel.

That’s Cybill Troy and Mina Meow (aka Thorne) showing off their skill with what I assume is a single tail.

I originally found this on Mina Thorne’s tumblr, although it started as a post on Cybill Troy’s. I think it’s originally from a scene shot for Femdom Empire.

Approaching at speed

Looking through old Leda images while preparing yesterday’s post put me in a bit of a corporal mood. So expect a few more images on that theme over the coming days.

Today’s shot features Cassie Canes approaching her target zone at speed. Personally I find a cane can hurt like hell when delivered with just a rapid flick of the arm. Heaven knows how much more it stings when the disciplinarian arrives at a gallop.

Before a fast bowler in the game of cricket delivers his first ball he will carefully pace off his run-up. The idea is to ensure his foot lands perfectly on the line (called the crease) as he releases the ball. I wonder if Miss Canes did the same thing? That’d certainly be a more ominous sight than the usual practice swishes.

I found this image on the Femdom Marriage tumblr. Obvious it’s originally from the Cassie Canes site.

Ed Lee

I was sad to read that Ed Lee, founder of Nu-West/Leda productions, had recently passed away. In an earlier era of really bad BDSM porn, he produced some of the most authentic and exciting corporal material around. As he describes in this interview, he was taking a big risk by doing so. The legal situation was very unclear and even if you won in court you could still end up bankrupt.

As a young femdom aficionado in the late 90’s I remember travelling down to London’s Soho specifically to hunt for Leda videos. I’d seen some of the still shots on-line and wanted to get my hands on some high quality VHS. There was only one shop that sold them (as they were illegal in England) and unfortunately they had a very loose approach to labeling their tapes. You’d buy 3 tapes and hope at least one of them was what it claimed to be. I suspect they were all pirate tapes, which no doubt would have infuriated Ed had he known. Being young and very nervous I never had the guts to go back and complain. After several trips and a dozen random tapes of all sorts of random porn (mostly rubbish), I’d managed to accumulate just 3 Leda ones. It was worth it though. The production values weren’t great, but the authenticity was never in doubt.

I’ll leave you with two shots from the short-lived Ma’am magazine he produced. Thanks for everything Ed.