Better living through chemistry

I’m always curious about the physical processes associated with subspace. I’ve written about it in the past (for example here), despite the fact I know very little about the subject. Fortunately this is the internet, and they let any idiot with a keyboard post his random thoughts.

I do know that Oxytocin is thought to be a part of the subspace brain chemistry. I was therefore intrigued to encounter this article describing how it can be purchased and administered as a nasal spray. The sales pitch is based on improving love and relationships, but it made me wonder what affect it would have on BDSM play. I love the strong wave of emotions I get deep in a scene, so would this make it easier to get to that point? Or would combining the intensity of a scene with a heavy dose of this hormone just end up screwing you up? And if it did work, would that be actually be a good thing? Or would it feel like shortchanging your BDSM relationship?

For someone who tends towards a hedonistic lifestyle, I’m surprisingly straight when it comes to drugs. Big fan of food, drink, and sex, but never smoked a cigarette or done a line in my life. So I’m unlikely to be the guinea pig for this particular experiment. But I would be fascinated to read the results if someone ever repeated the article writer’s experiment in a kinky context.

Nipple Torture

I’ll leave you with a shot from Men in Pain that represents one of the best ways to get me into subspace – nipple torture. No nasally administered hormones required. Just squeeze and twist.

Reality and physicality

I had a slightly unusual session yesterday. Not so much in the ‘how’ and the ‘what’, but in the ‘who’ and the ‘where’ (the ‘why’ is left as an exercise for my therapist). It featured Mistress Yuki playing in Lady Lydia’s space. I’ve played with Mistress Yuki in the past down in San Francisco (see here and here), and was happy to hear she’d be in Seattle for a few days this month. It was a lot of fun to get together, if a little disconcerting to play with someone new and different in a space I know so well.

It was a fairly intense session, with lots of corporal play, and we finished with some piercing. I was pretty zoned by that point. Time and space were askew, and my brain really didn’t care. As Mistress Yuki moved around the table I was suddenly struck by a tremendous sense of her physicality. Attractive women in exciting undergarments always have a pretty powerful presence, but this was more than that. Her body had a three dimensional solidity that felt more real than anything else in the room, including myself.

I’ve experienced this kind of reality distortion before in subspace and, as I pondered it afterwards, it reminded me of passage from one of my favorite books – Neuromancer. The quote features a mysterious man named Armitage telling the protagonist (Case) that his lost hacking abilities could be miraculously restored to him.

“What would you say if I told you we could correct your neural damage, Case?” Armitage suddenly looked to Case as if he were carved from a block of metal; inert, enormously heavy. A statue. He knew now that this was a dream, and that soon he’d wake. Armitage wouldn’t speak again. Case’s dreams always ended in these freeze frames, and now this one was over.

That description of a character and a moment in time has always stuck with me. I read it long before I did a BDSM scene, but that sense of sudden physicality coupled with unreality, fits beautifully with what I experienced last night in subspace. That’s perhaps appropriate for the book that popularized the term cyberspace.

Mistress Yuki
Mistress Yuki
Mistress Yuki
The above images were taken from Mistress Yuki’s tumblr. If you’re in the San Francisco area and would like to session with her, check out her main site.

As for Neuromancer, if you’ve never read it and aren’t violently opposed to the cyberpunk genre, I definitely recommend giving it a shot. It’s an incredibly influential novel, and an archetype in its genre. It’s amazing to read it now and realize it was written in the early 80’s on a 1927 Hermes model portable manual typewriter.

Incoming!

A humbler is a pretty evil device in its own right. Getting kicked in the balls while wearing one adds a whole new level of devilishness. Although it looks like at least one person there is really enjoying the set-up.

Kicked in the humbler

I found this on the Femdom Archive tumblr. Annoyingly I can’t locate an original source. The smiling blonde does look familiar, but I just can’t place her face.

Updated: Lady Annisa left a comment suggesting this is Mistress Alexandra of London. I can’t find the image on her site, but I believe that’s the correct attribution. She certainly has a number of CBT films featuring a humbler in her clips store.

Cute young couple

After the verbiage of yesterday’s post, here’s something short and sweet – a cute young couple and a chastity device.

It’s my impression that chastity play is something people grow into over time. When you’re enjoying the surging hormones of youth, then the idea of delayed gratification is not a familiar one. Certainly when I was young the idea of locking up my new found source of entertainment would have sounded like crazy talk. Although I’m guessing a girl as cute as this could probably have talked me into it. And by probably, I mean with 100% certainty, if she’d smiled sweetly and whispered in my ear.

Cute Young Couple

I found this on the I Crave Domination tumblr. I think it’s originally from the Submissive Cuckolds site.

Once more into the hornet’s nest

My previous post on male lingerie got me thinking about the topic of forced feminization. Specifically the always controversial variant that targets humiliation and embarrassment. It’s not my kink. I actually like the idea of transformation, but humiliation is never an interest of mine in any kind of play. However, I am confused by some of the opinions I see on it. As often happens, I find myself approaching it from a slightly different perspective.

A widely held view is that it’s misogynist. Why should someone be humiliated by wearing clothes than women commonly wear? If the clothes demean the wearer in the submissives eyes, and he expects women to wear them as a matter of course, therefore women must be always be demeaned in his eyes. There are lots of blog posts along these lines floating around. For example, two minutes archive hunting took me to this one by Stabbity and this one by Peroxide.

I think it’s certainly true that this type of play can be misogynistic, but is it always? That seems to make a very crude assumption about the transitive properties of clothing and context. Circumstances and social norms would seem to matter. For example, make me do a presentation at work tomorrow in Lederhosen and I’m going to be pretty embarrassed. Not so much if I was at Oktoberfest. Or stick me in a sparkly skintight leotard in the middle of some ice, and I will undoubtedly be humiliated. That doesn’t mean I look down on female figure skaters. Their abilities amaze me.

Being ashamed of very conventional everyday clothing would be a red flag. But typically it seems the people adopting that look are not into the humiliation kink at all. They’re trying to be as convincing and as feminine as possible (for example). The typical forced feminization outfit is the kind of over the top provocative clothing that’s hard for anyone to pull off with flair, let alone a hairy, overweight middle aged guy. Are they getting off on the humiliation of women’s clothes? Or are they getting off on wearing a highly sexualized outfit that makes them look silly (and happens to be women’s clothes)? If I think a french maid outfit on some guys looks ridiculous, does that make me a misandrist?

I’m not trying to argue this kind of play is always non-problematic. It definitely raises some complex questions. But I do think the logic of the view that ‘positive crossdressing=good’ and ‘forced feminization=bad’ is a bit simplistic.

Anonymous slave

The original source for this image appears to have vanished. I’m assuming it’s an Fm shot, but thanks to the hood it’s actually hard to tell. I think the anonymity of it makes it kind of hot. Is this the good or the bad sort of forced feminization?

Oxymoronic

This article’s title – Lingerie firm launches women’s underwear for men – has me slightly confused. If you’re launching an underwear line for men, doesn’t that by definition mean it can’t be women’s underwear? It’s like saying you’re selling a bright red ball that happens to be blue.

The logic fail continues into the article itself with the line that “the company are keen to stress the garments are not just for gay men.” I suspect that this thoughtless association between women’s lingerie, crossdressing and gay men can be blamed on the article’s author rather than the company itself.

It’s an interesting concept, but I’m be curious to know exactly who they think their target demographic is. The company site seems to avoid the crossdressing angle and focuses on it being fun, lacy underwear for guys. The photographs don’t try and depict the male models as women or hide their masculinity. But at the same time they also sell bra’s, an item which has a very specific function that doesn’t map to the male physique. I’m not sure why you’d create a bra if the goal was to create underwear that took style cues from women’s lingerie but was functionally designed for men.

Pillow Fight

Image is from the Homme Mystere site that offers lingerie tailored for men.

Aahh, puppy!

This struck me as a nice follow-up to yesterday’s post. That had the sense of an eager puppy. This one seems more like a naughty puppy vibe. They make for a cute couple, but I get the sense she’s not entirely happy with him at this moment.

Me and my mistress

The title of the image is ‘Me and my mistress‘. It’s by the artist zephyrian Boom. You can see more of his work at Deviant Art (free login required). I originally came across the image at the Adore Femdom tumblr.

Attaboy!

This is a fairly ambiguous shot. You could read all sorts of dynamics into it. But for me, it comes across as puppy play (in the most abstract sense). He’s poised, eager, focused, ready to go. She’s having fun teasing him and setting him simply tasks. It’s not necessarily an animal roleplay, but that kind of underlying vibe comes through the image. They’re both in a crouched posture, but where hers is playful and relaxed, his is attentive and just slightly nervous.

Attentive

I believe this comes from the Club Stiletto site.

Mouseketease

I’m a little nervous about posting this. The lawyers for Disney are notorious assholes fine, hardworking people who fiercely defend their companies property. I’m sure this is both fair use as a parody as well as being a creative work in it’s own right. But while I’m masochistic enough to enjoy whipping, burning and piercing, I’m not masochistic enough to want to get involved in a copyright dispute with corporate lawyers. I may be kinky, but I’m not crazy.

Anyway, it made me smile, so I thought it worth sharing. You expect this kind of behavior from Bugs Bunny, or even Tom & Jerry, but it’s quite against type for these two.

Mouseketease

I found it on the ‘A Velvet Underground‘ (aka Obey or Else) tumblr. The tag is hard to read but I think it is Twisted Terra. Unfortunately I can’t find an artist site under that name.