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Starting the week with a bang (and a whimper)

I got well beaten by Lydia late on Sunday night so I’m feeling particularly happy about life right now. Monday mornings are never the best time of any week, but bruises to admire and residual endorphins really help take the edge off. Certainly better than a cup of coffee to start the day, although Starbucks could probably be considered a form of masochism in itself.

The scene was mainly a corporal one, with a lot of whipping to my back and buttocks. Towards the end Lydia switched to a short cane and, after working it across my nipples and cock, added some clothespins to those delicate body parts. Normally I find clothespins pretty mild, wherever they’re attached, and flying high on adrenalin and endorphins I expected to barely notice them. To my surprise the use of the cane to stimulate the skin beforehand really made a big difference, and the clips felt far more intense than usual. It was one of those interesting transitions where the cane seemed to both increase my pain tolerance by pushing me further into subspace and yet also increased my sensitivity to pain.

I’m not sure if the gentleman below was beaten before the clips were applied, but he certainly looks like he’s feeling them. I particularly like her look of amused concentration, with her tongue cheekily poking out as she tortures his.

There’s no watermark, but I believe this is a Men in Pain shot. I found it on the Thoughts of a toy named roy (aka royb8771) tumblr.

Updated the BDSM Equipment Page

Given we’re now into the Christmas season (at least in some parts of the world), and gift giving is a tradition of this time, I thought I should make an effort to update the equipment page. I’ve added a number of new links on there (indicated with a New suffix), all courtesy of helpful people sending me pointers to interesting places (particularly James). So thanks to all of them for that.

I’m hoping all of my readers are on the naughty list, because that’s always where the fun stuff happens. But I also hope they get whatever toys their kinky hearts desire under the tree this year. Personally, I’d love the Ultra-Chair MK II Advanced, from Style Fetish Industries as shown below (another angle here). Unfortunately, while it look’s like an amazing bit of kit, I doubt I could blend it into my apartment furnishings effectively. While I could accurately claim it as the latest in European furniture design, the big red dildo attachment might give the game away somewhat.

The dominant act

Several times in the past I’ve got involved in on-line arguments over what constitutes a dominant act. My view has always been that almost anything can be a dominant act. Context is king. The opposing view has been that sexual activities like handjobs or blowjobs cannot be a dominant act. They are always inherently a submissive act.

This opposing viewpoint is one advanced by some pro-dommes, and I do get where they’re coming from. They have to navigate a bunch of legal and personal boundaries, and set expectations for their clients. It’s much easier for them if the set of things globally recognized as dominant acts is equal to the set of things the majority of pro-dommes offer. That removes uncertainty and shifts the discussion from personal limits to external predefined cultural limits. But while I understand the desire to do this, I don’t agree with the definition. A dominant act is whatever a dominant chooses to do in each unique situation.

The lady below might be kneeling to give him a blowjob, but I don’t think there’s any question who’s in charge. I think it was particularly nice of her to bring her big knife in case he uses his safeword and she has to cut him free. Being able to free a bound partner quickly is all part of safe, sane and consensual kink!

The image is by the artist Paolo Eleuteri Serpieri and is from his Druuna series. You can find more images at the official homepage.

Flogs like a girl

To say someone ‘throws like a girl’ is an age old schoolyard insult. Yet it turns out there’s a solid scientific basis to it. Studies have shown that in may ways boys and girls are far more similar than people think. In areas such as academia (spelling, maths, vocabulary, etc.), behavioral (negotiation, impulsiveness, self-esteem, etc.) and physical (balance, jumping, aggression, etc.) the differences are small to zero. The main stand out areas of difference turn out to be masturbation, attitude to casual sex and throwing. Oddly enough the popular press has ignored the first two, but jumped with great interest on the last one. There have been a bunch of articles on it, some suggesting the reason is nature and others that it’s nurture.

The reason I mention all this is because the image below brought it to mind. A key part of throwing effectively is good rotation, where the entire body is involved a pivot to generate maximum speed at the point of release. From her stance, it looks like Kimberly Kane has mastered this skill, and is about to impart a nice high velocity thwack. I hope he appreciates the fact.

The image is originally from the Divine Bitches site.

Obviously you’re not a golfer

Because I’m sure those shoes don’t have the regulation spikes.

The image is of Sophie Horn who, ironically, is actually a very good golfer. I found it on the Alternative Femdom tumblr. And for anyone unaware of the title reference, shame on you.

Sparks in sin city

I don’t typically look for kinky experiences when I visit Vegas. It’s a surprisingly mainstream town, big on the accepted thrills of booze, gambling and naked ladies, low on alternative and niche interests. However, I happened to notice Mistress Ariana Lexine was going to be in town, and since we’d played together a year or two before at her LA space, it seemed like a good opportunity to hook up again. It turned out to be a really fun session, made particularly memorable by an introduction to an entirely new sensation I’d never experienced before.

She’d brought her violent wand along with her, a toy I’ve played with in the past. What was new was the body contact attachment she had for it. Normally you plug some sort of bulb or probe into the wand and run it gently against the skin. It creates a prickly sensation, a little like hot needles, along with some cool visual effects. With the body contact attachment placed inside her clothes, and pressed tightly against her skin, it turned her body into the electrical probe. Just bringing her hand close to my skin would cause sparks to arc between our bodies, allowing her to both caress and torture me simultaneously. Each brush of her fingers created a crackle of purple sparks against my skin.

While the touching was cool, the licking was mind blowing. Having her trace the edge of a nipple with a sparking tongue was an incredible sensation, creating great pleasure with just a slight edge of pain. The moment she first did it we both almost simultaneously said “That was awesome! We have to do more of that!” I actually got to try it briefly from the other side, and it reminded me of checking batteries as a child. It didn’t really hurt, but it created an odd tingling sensation on the tongue and the faint chemical taste of ozone.

She also had a set of Eagle Talons that she used to create far more intense sensations. With those on the end of her fingers she could no longer feel the spark at all, but the pain level for me was significantly ratcheted up. It shifted the dynamic from sensual into masochistic, each talon leaving little red trails across my skin. They’d be a great toy to combine with bondage and heavier pain play. As I said, I’ve played with violent wands before, and found them fun but not ‘wow’. This time it was most definitely a ‘wow’.

The shot of a violet wand in action comes from the Captive Male site. The image linked to in the text comes from the UK site Bound 2 Tease.

The bad sex awards can go fuck themselves

I flew in to a wet Seattle from sunny Las Vegas today, minus lots of dollars (due to food/drink not gambling), and plus a stuffy head cold. Not my most fun flight ever. Matters didn’t improve when I booted up my laptop and spotted a bunch of articles on the Bad Sex in Fiction Award. I can’t express how much I hate that prize and the attitude of those associated with it.

It doesn’t get a lot of play in the US, but it’s widely covered in certain segments of the UK press. They love the excuse to publish sexually explicit quotes from the nominees and snigger about them. If you’ve never heard of it before the stated rationale is…

to draw attention to the crude, tasteless, often perfunctory use of redundant passages of sexual description in the modern novel, and to discourage it

As far as I can tell this means picking on writing that actually tries to detail the physical act of sex, rather than coyly drifting the camera towards the bedroom curtains as the lovers embrace on the bed. There’s certainly an excess of amusing metaphors, strained similes and overly ornate prose in some of the nominees, but little that matches their stated criteria. You can read a sample from this years winner here. I’m not particularly a fan, but really? That’s the best bad sex writing they could find? They should get out more.

The whole exercise strikes me as puritanical and condescending. If they had any guts they’d publish a Good Sex in Fiction Award for particularly interesting, stimulating and relevant sexual descriptions. That would at least be constructive. Unfortunately praising something as complex and revealing as sexual writing is personally exposing, so I doubt these prudish jackasses will ever do something that risky.

I’ve no idea what the appropriate image to accompany this post should be. So I’ll switch it around and publish something that looks like particularly good sex. Or at least something very clearly being enjoyed by at least one of the participants.

I found this on the Desire and Devotion tumblr.

Bittersweet

I’m continuing my vacation strategy of featuring alternative posts from blogs that I enjoy. In this case the ~~victim~~ lucky author is Femi with her post entitled Letter to a Masochist. It’s a bittersweet kind of post, that manages to be hot, creative and a touch melancholy.

I want to give you bruises that don’t fade for a week.
I want to think, “I hope the neighbors don’t call the cops.”
I want to rub my hand over your flesh that’s hot to the touch.
I want to be sore the next day from that much energy expended.
I want to be the answer to your needs.
I want this hypothetical you to exist, to find me, to say, “yes,” and “more,” and, “please.”
If I feel like I’ve waited a lifetime for you, it’s because I have. Already I feel jaded.
Come into existence for me.
Femi – Letter to a Masochist

The first part is definitely hot, and the last part a little sad, but the line about the neighbors made me smile. I actually know of a Seattle couple that ‘soundproofed’ their basement before starting to crack the whip. Unfortunately the soundproofing wasn’t up the job and, in a moment of true genius, they hadn’t thought to check from the outside before getting their freak on. Sure enough, the neighbors called the cops. Doubly unfortunate for them was the fact that Seattle mandates that for domestic violence calls somebody is always taken away. I get the logic of that, but it doesn’t leave a lot of room for discretion. So despite protestations that it was all consensual and the screaming was just part of the fun, the husband ended up (temporarily) in the pokey. Everything worked out OK in the end, but I’ve got to imagine the subsequent conversations with the neighbors were a little embarrassing.

The two illustrative images I’ve chosen below are from Dana Kane, a professional disciplinarian based out of Las Vegas. Given Femi’s comments about bruising and hot flesh they seemed appropriate. They’re from this video sequence.

Comfort

Vegas has been a bit of a mixed bag so far. On the plus side I did fit in some kinky fun, and I learned a new interesting activity involving electricity. I’ll write more about that in a future post. Unfortunately I then picked up some stupid bug and have spent the last day or so curled up in my hotel room feeling like death. Being on vacation and being sick sucks. The ability to order room service is nice, but quite honestly when you’re ill the thing you really want is your own couch and the chance to curl up with comforting familiar things.

Image of comfort is from the StellaNova’s Realm tumblr.

Getting there is half the fun

My cunning plan to minimize the effort of posting while on vacation is to ~~steal from~~ help publicize other blogs. First up is Lily from theblackleatherbelt who recently wrote these very wise words…

This is something I learned from having sex with women: the fact that THERE WAS NO TIMELINE was a complete revelation. We could make out, fuck, have a sandwich, do some stuff that would look like foreplay in another context, fuck some more, talk, then do it all over again. There was no standard kissing > petting > other assorted foreplay > penetration > the end sequence going on, at all, and the way that increased the quality of the sex is impossible to put words to.

Her whole post was a good one, but this part particularly spoke to me. I’ve always been a fan of the journey rather than the destination. Except when the journey involves flying in economy. In that case, unless the destination features Beelzebub and all his hellish minions, it’s always better to arrive than to travel.

But in the case of sex, when the journey is just so much fun, it always seems a shame when it’s over. I wonder if that’s a view more commonly held by kinky people, and particularly submissive guys, than the general populace? After all we’re used to extended sexual play. Bondage takes time. Endorphins don’t flow instantly. Tease and denial, edging and chastity are all popular kinks with submissive men. Personally I’d always take a couple hours of relaxed kinky fun over a few minutes of wham bam thank you ma’am.

The picture is from the Food, Fucking and Femdom tumblr. I have to say that as tumblr titles go, that’s a pretty good one. Throw in books and cocktails and you’d have my idea of heaven.