Pro-domme – Page 10 – Femdom Resource

Predicaments with Domina Yuki

My San Francisco trip got off to a great start with two sessions on consecutive days with Domina Yuki. I normally leave at least one clear day between sessions to recover, but having them close together like this actually worked out pretty well. They flowed more naturally together and it was easy and quick to get back into the zone. Much predicament play was involved, which is always a specialty of Domina Yuki’s.

One set-up is shown in shown in these top view and side view shots. You can see a series of cords attaching my toes and my clamped balls and nipples to the overhead hanging rod. The little black box is an e-stim device, wired to the base of my cock and set to trigger on any sound. So movement of the feet or body creates painful tugs on the clamps, which makes me moan, which triggers painful shocks, which makes me wriggle and move even more. Of course, if there’s a devious domme in the room, she might decide that the whole set-up could be much improved by clapping loudly or pinwheeling the feet.

We also did a standing set-up, that’s shown in this image. It’s less complicated but no less devious in its own way. Those white plastic medical clamps are pinching the skin closed over the head of the cock, and are exceedingly tight and painful. That configuration becomes incredibly more painful in any state of arousal. The kind of thing that might happen, for example, if a sexy domme were to caress a nipple and whisper naughty thoughts into an ear. Luckily, should such as state of affairs come to pass, she can always resolve the problem by carefully beating the errant member down with a light flogger.

One of the more unusual configurations I got to enjoy was being fastened down and spread out on a tiled floor using heavy suction cups as tie points. I’ve never seen this done before and it’s a really great idea, as you can put the anchor points anywhere. It allows for interesting asymmetrical bondage positions and a quick way to make adjustments. It also gave me an amazing viewpoint as Domina Yuki walked around me and over me, dragging her heels across my chest or poking into my delicate parts. The low shot looking up at a looming domme is a classic/cliche of femdom porn, yet in my experience it’s actually kind of rare in play. I’m often lying on a table or standing at a wall so don’t get that angle. Even when kneeling on the floor I’m typically looking down rather than up. It was a very pleasant change to both be low down and have the opportunity to look up at the domme as she stood over me and tortured me.

This shot wasn’t quite the angle I had, but it’s still a very striking one. The image is from Domina Yuki’s professional site. If you’re in the Bay area then she’s an amazing person to session with. If that’s not possible, then you can follow her AVN Stars feed here or her Twitter feed here.

Stupid Dick

I have to admit that yesterday’s post ‘The Bug‘ was written from a personal perspective. I’m currently down in San Francisco enjoying some kinky fun. It was a trip I arranged in January, before the extent of the COVID-19 issue in the US was clear. I debated cancelling it, but I figured if I take proper precautions then staying on my own in a hotel room was really no different to staying on my own in my condo. So here I am, with very chapped and dried hands from the frequent washing.

I was very happy to start my trip by meeting up with Domina Yuki. She’s an amazing domme who I’ve known for years and is always the first person I reach out to when returning to the Bay area. We had a fabulous session, with much tease, torment and predicament play. A couple of photographs were snapped, so hopefully I can share those in a future post.

One particularly interesting moment in the session occurred when we were playing with a Kali’s teeth device. I’ve experienced these devices before, although this one was narrower and tighter than I’m used to. The typical reaction to them goes in a cycle. They don’t hurt going on, but arousal leads to pain. That’s a hot thing for a masochist, so the excitement increases in a feedback loop until the pain peaks and becomes too much. That diminishes arousal, putting me into a slowly cycling equilibrium. Stimulus balances against pain, with the domme tilting the balance as she sees fit.

What was strange today is that we hit that hit that tipping point of pain, and my stupid dick just kept on going (and growing). It was like a chain reaction that was out of control. My brain was at the point of “OK. That really hurts. Not so hot anymore” and the dick was “Nu-huh. We’re keeping this party going.” It was genuinely weird. I’ve made plenty of jokes in the past about my dick having a mind of its own, but this was the first time it actually felt like that. It was also the first time I’ve actively tried to think unsexy thoughts during a session, which is frankly quite the challenge when Domina Yuki is in the same room.

This image of Domina Yuki from her website should give some idea of the challenge involved of unsexy thoughts when doing a session with her. You can follow her here on twitter or enjoy exclusive content via her AVN stars feed.

The Boss

There’s something about combining smart conventional outfits and kink. It’s hot in a way I find hard to identify. Maybe it’s the contrast of the implication of strict social norms and then the trangressive element of kink. Maybe it’s a uniform thing, where the costume comes loaded with a history social rules and authority. Maybe it’s because I live on the west coast, where the typical business outfit is jeans and a polo shirt, so seeing anyone dressed in a smart suit is automatically a big improvement.

This is from a short film that Mistress Iris is shooting, with this particular image coming via a tweet by Mistress Eva. If you’re not a member of Mistress Iris’ Patreon and like her content, then now might be a good time to subscribe. I suspect more hotness from this scene is in the pipeline.

Pet Peeve – Contact Form Feedback

Time for another PPPP – Paltego Pet Peeve Post. This time it’s pro-domme contact forms for scheduling sessions. Specifically, the type of contact forms that give little to no feedback to the user. From my experience, that’s 9 out of 10 of them.

For those of you who have no idea what I’m talking about, allow me to explain. Rather than having submissives send random and badly structured emails, many pro-dommes have a contact form that elicits the specific information they require. This is a good thing. The problem comes when, after many rounds of editing and proofreading, you say a silent prayer and hit the submit button. At that point almost anything can happen. Maybe it’ll clear all the text and give you no clue if it worked or not. Maybe you’ll get some obscure error code or connection error. Maybe you’ll get a blank page. It’s impossible to predict. Even if it gives a ‘Thanks for your submission’ type response, you’ve still no idea if it really worked or not. Did it email the info to the domme? Did it delete everything? Or did it just email all my contacts with the fact that I’m interested in exploring watersports, puppy play and like being called a dirty little boy?

What prompted me to talk about this was actually the rare example of a contact form done well. Domina Esme Crane’s – built on Jot Forms – actually emailed me back with all the information I’d just submitted. That not only let me know it’d worked, but also allowed me to see it had got all the relevant information. Genius!

If you follow any pro-dommes on social media you’ll often hear complaints about submissives who are too demanding and expect rapid responses to any communication. I’d suggest one way to reduce that is to remove ambiguity from communication. It you’re not sure if something worked properly or not, it’s always going to be tempting to assuming not and to try it again.

This is the aforementioned Domina Crane in an image from her twitter feed. She’s a San Francisco based pro-domme. Sadly, despite her well executed contact form, it doesn’t look like we’ll manage to intersect on my next visit to the Bay area. Hopefully I’ll be better organized for future visits.

A New Twist

It’s always fun to discover a new twist on a favorite activity. After years of kinky indulgence it’s rare for me to discover something totally new, but I’m often happily surprised by how different an activity can feel when approached from a new angle.

The specific example I have in mind is seated mummification, courtesy of Mistress Damiana Chi during my recent LA trip. I’ve been wrapped up many times before, but never in the seated position. We started with me standing in front of the chair while Mistress Damiana swaddled me in plastic wrap. Then, once I hopped back and eased myself down, she bound my mummified torso into place using rope. It was a great setup because I felt incredibly immobilized, but I could also interact with the domme and observe the sadistic things she was doing to my genitals and nipples. With the traditional horizontal position it can often feel disconnected, with me staring at the ceiling while nasty things happen down south. With this setup we could make eye contact and I could see what was happening, while still having no ability to stop it. That sense of a shared intimate connection and total helplessness is a wonderful button pusher for me.

Unfortunately we didn’t capture any photographs of the chair bondage. However, we did get some good snaps of the second setup, which featured a beautiful red latex bodybag. That was complemented by multiple ropes and leather straps. You can see the resulting arrangement from three different angles here, here and here. Of course, bondage is never quite enough on its own, so Mistress Damiana added some piercing to the nipples and scrotum and then fired up her Electrastim device. This is shown in the two shots here and here.

Looking back on the images now, what catches my eye are the little touches I missed first time around. For example, the color match between the posture collar and the bag, or the extra rope added to expose the nipples properly. It was an amazing session and, as always, my thanks go to Mistress Damiana for creating such an intense yet enjoyable experience.

You can find Mistress Damiana’s main site for sessions here, her site for her Dominatrix Academy here and her site for kink-knowledgeable life coaching here. She also has a twitter feed available here.

Playing with Mistress Lucy

Before leaving LA I was fortunate enough to spend time with Mistress Lucy Khan. We had a lengthy and very enjoyable session featuring a smorgasbord of different activities all wrapped in a fun roleplay dynamic. Some things on the menu included cupping, piercing, scentplay, breathplay, tease, denial and general sadism to my delicate bits.

I particularly enjoyed the rope spiderweb that Mistress Lucy wove around me towards the end of the session. You can see it in this photograph. It was one of those arrangements that didn’t make much sense to me as it was being constructed, as it didn’t feel like it’d hold me properly. Then Mistress Lucy pulled hard on the bottom two ropes and everything tightened and magically fell into place. I particularly liked the way she tied it off around my big toes. There’s always an interesting sense of vulnerability that comes with toe bondage, given how sensitive the soles of the feet are.

Reflecting on the session later that evening, still floating on buzz created, it struck me that one sign of a world class professional domme is the commitment and intensity she can bring to a session with someone she rarely sees. It had been around 9 months since we’d last got together, yet it didn’t feel like that. Mistress Lucy created and held a bubble that made it very easy for me to relax into subspace and exist with her in the moment.

This image is from Mistress Lucy’s twitter feed. That’s not me in the image, but we did indulge in some similar play.

Finding the Edge

The Daily Dot has published an interesting article on Edge Play. One of the questions it raises is what exactly is edge play? Before reading the article I thought I knew, but now I’m not so sure.

I think there are three basic definitions you can come up with. They key question is what line is being played up to?

Is it the edge of the submissive’s comfort zone?
Is it the edge of mainstream BDSM activities?
Is it the edge of life itself?

I’ve personally always assumed the definition was (2). That means things like scat, branding or very intense corporal play that draws blood would count as edge play. I’ve also known some professional kinksters who use the definition of (3), limiting it to activities involving knifes, guns, choking, etc. In that case edge play is the kind of thing that might land you not just in the emergency room but ultimately in the morgue.

What this article suggests is that (1) is actually the correct definition of edge play. Which seems kind of odd to me. Everyone has limits and a comfort zone, and that’s going to be in a different place for each submissive. So with that definition it almost becomes a meaningless term. Normally I’d just assume it was an article from a journalist who didn’t really understand the subject, but if features quotes from genuine experts in the field.

What constitutes edge play is different for everyone. I consider edge play to be play that occurs at the edge of what one can bear. Play where there is enough trust to push past what is comfortable creates the possibility of a new outcome.
Mistress Blunt

The article also goes on to list a 24/7 dynamic as another example of edge play, which is something that I’d suggest exists on an entirely different dimension to specific BDSM activities. So where exactly is the edge correctly drawn? Is it just one of those things that is always defined with respect to the person involved? Is my edge just someone else’s light warm-up?

Here’s the aforementioned Mistress Blunt exploring an activity that I guess could be an edge play candidate – mummification. This is from this tweet.

The Thrill of the Tease

My Los Angles trip got off to a fabulous start playing with Mistress Iris. It had been a while since we’d played together and it was lovely to catch up with her again.

I’m always fascinated by the different ways sadism and masochism can manifest. There’s the obvious physical and emotional varieties which I regularly blog about here. Mistress Iris specializes in the rarer kind that manifests at the fine edge of frustrated pleasure and the unsatisfied ache of desire. If you can maintain the necessary balance it’s a wonderfully fine edge to slide along. It’s rare to get me growling unless physical pain is involved, but I was definitely doing my best angry puppy impression in our session today.

This is Mistress Iris deploying her tease talents on some virgin catholic boys with Liara Roux. This is taken from this tweet, via Mistress Iris’s twitter feed.

Looking Back

As part of my ten year kinkyversary I thought it’d be interesting to look back and try to figure out exactly who I’d played with over that time. I keep all my emails, so in theory I should be able to come up with a pretty accurate list. Actual sessions are way too numerous to count, but as far as people are concerned, I think the total is 37 different pro-dommes. On one hand that seems like a lot, but on the other hand, this is over a decade and spread across 9 different cities.

I wrote last year about my relative success rate in terms of identifying dommes I think I’ll have good session chemistry with. Looking at this list supports the rough estimates I made back then. There were 14 dommes who I played with once and didn’t feel that we had suitable chemistry. At the other extreme, there have been 11 dommes I loved playing with and always reached out to any time our paths crossed. The remaining 12 are dommes I’d like to play more with, but so far time, geography and circumstances have conspired against us.

Two other things also pop out from the list. Firstly, I’m surprised how many dommes on it are now retired from the profession. So if there’s someone you’ve always wanted to play with then I’d encourage you to reach out sooner rather than later. You never know when they’ll decide to hang up their whip (at least from a professional perspective).

The other thing that strikes me is the amazing diversity in styles, techniques and personalities. After all, this isn’t a random list. These are all pro-dommes I researched and decided would be a good fit for my kinks and preferred dynamic. When you browse pro-domme sites and see repeated common lists of activities and equipment you might be tempted to think the variance in play would be small. After all, when you think of other professional services – lawyer, doctor, masseuse – you don’t expect massive variation between different providers. Yet that’s exactly what you find in the dynamics of a pro-domme session. Even the more creative professions, like a chef or an actor, don’t compare. The best analogy I can think of is a fine artist. An artist will have a distinctive personal style that is common to all their work, but every artist is unique in their own approach.

This is Mistress Eleise De Lacy, someone who definitely falls into the category of people I’d love to play more with, should time and space not conspire against us. We intersected once in Vancouver back in 2013, but since then she has been based in Europe and the opportunity for further play hasn’t presented itself. Should you be similarly constrained, she does have an OnlyFans site you can join for a virtual experience.

Kinkyversary

Today is a significant date for me. It’s exactly 10 years to the day from my very first session with a pro-domme. Which means it’s exactly 10 years from my first shared kinky experience and my first physical exploration of BDSM.

I wrote about the causative event for this a few weeks back. Despite the fact I made a decision to see a pro-domme before Christmas 2009, the anal retentive researcher that shares my brain took several weeks to figure out exactly who that should be. The final recommendation from my internal librarian was Lady Lydia McLane. I think a big part of that was the easy contact form she had on her website that simply allowed me to tick activity boxes rather than writing scary words in an email. The fact she was a stunningly attractive redhead might also have played a small part in the process. It turned out to be an inspired choice. I couldn’t have asked for a better person to guide me on the start of my kinky journey.

Lady Lydia has been retired for some years now. Her playspace, where I experienced so many of my kinky firsts, was razed and turned into condos. Such is the story of Seattle over the last decade. However, it did seem appropriate that I celebrated my kinkyversary tonight with another amazing Seattle domme – Savannah Sly. I hadn’t particularly planned to session on this specific date, but it ended up feeling appropriate that I did so. Particularly because we were playing in the same neighborhood, and I parked in almost exactly the same spot I did back on January 28th 2010.

My first session consisted mostly of a simple caning. Tonight’s also featured the heavy use of a cane, but Savannah also added paddles, staples, needles, electricity and breathplay into the mix. My kinky appetites have expanded somewhat over the last decade. What hasn’t changed is the joy each session brings me and the gratitude I feel to the dommes involved. They’ve literally changed my life.

I’m sure I’ll have more thoughts on my kinky journey to share in subsequent posts. In the meantime I’ll leave you with a shot of Lady Lydia that captures the essence of her play. Astonishingly beautiful, intensely sadistic and so happy in the moment.

This is Lady Lydia shooting for kink.com with EuroSex back in 2007.