Three days of brutality

Yesterday’s post cautioned against perceiving extreme scenes and edge players as being ‘better’ than others. Today’s post brings you a compelling description of a very extreme scene featuring an astonishing level of masochism. Possibly this lacks consistency, but as Ralph Waldo Emerson said: “A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds”.

It is true that the quality and the pleasure associated with a BDSM scene has no direct relationship to the severity of the scene. But for the audience in the peanut gallery, extreme behavior is often a compelling draw. In this case the scene is a three day long one, described at length in this post.

The following days were repeated … a pattern of freezing nights in the bunker, ice cold showers in the morning, sessions of brutal torture, beatings, and electrocution. Verbal abuse and no hope of mercy.
stevey from a post on Max Fisch

I found it a fascinating read, although it’s not something I’d ever want to do. I need a little love and care mixed in with my pain, and it sounds like there wasn’t much of that on offer.

The domme dishing out the pain was Madame Celeste de Monial and the scene unfolded at the Chalet of Pain located in Germany. As stevey describes, the location sounds like a smaller version of the infamous OWK. If your tastes run to iron fetters, imprisonment fantasies and serious mental and physical torment, then it sounds like a great place to check out. The image below shows the inside of its underground bunker, and you can see the entrance and descending stairs in this gallery.

Underground bunker at Chalet of Pain

When anything goes

Mistress T has an interesting and instructive post up about negotiating a scene. Her key point is that a submissive saying he’ll do ‘anything’ the domme wants is both useless and highly unlikely to be true.

My go-to (smart-ass) answer these days if they say they’re into anything that will make me happy is: “Great. You do the house work while I watch TV in my PJ’s and ignore you. Just leave the money on the counter.”

Her point is an excellent one but from the submissive point of view, it does touch on a real point of dilemma. How do you negotiate a scene without making it feel like you’re ordering from a restaurant menu? I’ve done scenes with new dommes where I’ve an expressed interest in X, Y and Z, and ended up with 40 minutes of each in that order. Pro-dommes typically complain when clients get very specific about scripting a scene and controlling how it should unfold.  But the reverse situation also applies. I don’t want to feel I’m controlling exactly what the domme does.

Mistress T goes onto to suggest that of the 120 fetishes she has listed, the number of things a random submissive would hate is far longer than the list of things they’d like. I’m not sure about that. I don’t have access to her list, but I know of other examples from domme’s I’ve played with. For example, Domina Yuki’s and Lady Lydia’s. They both have 50 or so activities listed. Of those there are probably 2 or 3 that are hard limits for me and a couple of things that I’d do but aren’t particular interesting to me. The other 40+ things are all just dandy as far as I’m concerned, and I’ve done almost all of them at some point. Yet, in my experience, negotiating a very open scene based on 40 potential activities really doesn’t work well. Most domme’s tend to classify you as one of those ‘anything but not really’ guys, and assume you’re going to be unhappy when reality sets in.

I don’t have any great answers to this problem. The best advice I can give is to slowly build trust by doing multiple sessions, each featuring a limited number of different activities. Once you’ve built chemistry with someone and demonstrated a genuine breadth of interest, you’re more likely to be able to transition into a more natural and free-form dynamic. When I play with Lydia these days I suggest only a single idea as a possible direction and let her improvise from that point on. She knows by now that I’m open to a lot of different activities, and don’t have a fixed idea of how a scene should play out. I think last time I simply suggested something involving bondage on her bed, and ended up trapped in much rope, sporting an electrified butt-plug, with several piercings, many scratch marks and a plastic wrapped face.

Mistress T and Amica BentleyI’ll leave you with an image of Mistress T and Amica Bentley, originally from The English Mansion that I found on Mistress T’s blog. I suspect for a lot of the ‘anything you want’ guys this particular activity is likely to transition into a ‘but not that’ response.

Stereotypes of submission

A post by Ms Justine Cross pointed me at this interesting article on Salon by Tracy Clark-Flory. The article was written in response to one by Katie Roiphe in Newsweek suggesting that women are newly interested in submission because of the greater power and equality they’re experiencing in the workplace. The original Newsweek article stuck me as particularly muddleheaded and I’m glad to see someone pointing that out. However, in the process it does recycle an old stereotype that always annoys me. Namely that male submissives and masochists are typically powerful and successful career people who need to submit in order to take a break from all the high pressure decisions they normally have to take. It’s the cliche of the aggressive lawyer who spends all morning shouting at staff and his lunchtime wearing pink panties and getting caned.

It’s a point of view often heard from pro-dommes (as Ms Cross also mentions in her post), typically meant to describe their clients, but often applied generally to describe male submissives. And I get why pro-dommes say this. It’s a pre-emptive strike against the assumption that their clients (and by association themselves) are weird or misfits in society. Their clients aren’t just average they’re saying, they’re better than average, taken from the winners in society. But understanding it doesn’t stop it annoying me on several different levels.

Firstly, pro-domme clients are a self-selecting group, not a random sample. Seeing a pro-domme regularly costs thousands of dollars. Men who can afford this are certainly not a representative cross-section of society. Secondly, it’s not something I see discussed in non-professional circles. I’ve never seen someone write “My husband used to just want regular sex, but since he got that promotion suddenly he’s insisting I chain him up and pee on him. I like the extra income but I’ve had to spend half of it on leather outfits and a snorkel set”. Thirdly, a lot of kinky people can trace their preferences back to childhood or adolescence. Which means it’s completely unrelated to profession or success, unless you happen to have been a 13 year old investment banker.

Finally, and perhaps most annoying of all, is the implication that only powerful successful people (lawyers doctors, brokers, etc.) have stressful and high pressure decisions to take. Everyone has to deal with those kind of issues in their lives. In fact I’d say trying to bring up a family while working an underpaid job is going to involve a whole lot more stress and pressure than a rich, pro-domme visiting executive has to deal with.

The truth is that kinky people come from all walks of life. There’s nothing particularly special about having an interest in BDSM. Or at least no more so than all the interesting and quirky factors that go into making us who we are.

Given my original prompt for this post was Ms Justine Cross, that seems like a perfect excuse to feature a picture of the lovely lady in question.

Ms Justine Cross

 

Clamping the tender parts

A quick post tonight, as it’s a busy holiday weekend for me. This image caught my eye for it’s sense of tenderness and togetherness. I always like play that blends a little cruelty with a little tender affection. The only thing better is play that blends a lot of cruelty with just that bit of tenderness.

Attaching nipple clampsI found this originally on the Work Is Never Over tumblr, but I believe it’s from a movie called Whipsmart from Good Vibrations starring Mistress Morgana. She’s undoubtedly a fan of nipple clamps, as she makes clear on her entertaining biography page.

That smile

Those of you who read this blog regularly will know that I session a lot with Lady Lydia McLane. She’s an astonishing domme and I’m incredibly happy that I found her. However, she does give me a few disconcerting moments. In the past she’s modeled for a whole range of sites, which means there’s all sorts of video and images out there featuring her. Given how great she looks, this isn’t too surprising, but it is odd to be browsing porn and to keep coming across someone you know fairly well. It’s a weird dichotomy, but while I find her incredibly sexy in person, and I enjoy all sorts of pornography, somehow combining the two is like a missed gear shift. There’s a nasty crunch, a sudden lurch, and everything is slightly unbalanced. It’s not that I dislike the fantasy. Or that I’m disappointed with the reality. It’s just that combining the two creates a weird mental collision.

The latest occurrence of this effect was this tumblr post, which led me in turn to this video. I can’t say I’m a fan of the body stocking (which I suspect was suggested by the porn site). And while I like boots, these are a little too cliched for my taste. So ignore the domme strut, but do check out her smile, both in the image below and in the video. She’s just such a happy sadist. Nothing sends me more than a smile that leads to a scream. It’s just one of those perfect combinations like champagne & oysters, Groucho & Chico or Lennon & McCartney.

A smiling Lady Lydia

Size does matter!

Slogans on t-shirts tend to have only a very loose relationship with reality. I have a soft spot for my George Carlin one – “Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups” – but in general they’re not a reliable source of information. In terms of credibility they rank somewhere between bumper stickers and Fox news. Although not necessarily in that order.

However, judging by the pictures below, it appears that Mistress Lana is someone who believes in living up to her clothing’s slogans. That’s a large cigar and an even larger strap-on. The featured gentleman looks a little perturbed. I hope for his sake the slogan on the back of the shirt is something like this.

Mistress Lana smoking cigar
Mistress Lana with strap-onMistress Lana is a Moscow based pro-domme. If you find yourself in that part of the world, her session information is available here.

Sutures in Seattle

I do a lot of sessions that never get blogged about. Either we don’t remember to take photographs or they’re intense but not particularly visually interesting. However, today’s post brings you a scene I did last week with Lady Lydia which was both a little unusual and we remembered the camera for.

As the post title suggests it features suturing. There’s no blood and nothing particularly graphic in the shots. Unless you count a naked me as graphic (I wouldn’t blame you if you did). That said, there is some piercing and skin sutures involved, so I’ve put the details on a separate page. If you’re interested in seeing what a very talented domme can do with a cutting needle, some surgical suture and a willing volunteer, then feel free to follow the jump.

At least she left him his boots

My post from a few days ago entitled Playground Antics inspired a comment from Ricky about getting hit by a snowball as a child. It was thrown by an attractive girl and, by the sound of, both got something out of the experience.

It was a story that reminded me of the image below, which I’ve had lurking around my hard drive for months. It features Mistress Nina, a pro-domme based in Belgium, and a rather chilly slave. I think it’s a very fun and original image, although I do wish she was dressed a little more warmly. A nice thick coat would make a pleasant contrast to his nakedness. It looks like he’s already got some red marks on his back, so that snowball is really going to sting.

Mistress Nina throwing a snowballMistress Nina might be playing outside in this shot, but she also has a very impressive playspace. If you’re lucky enough to be in the Brussels area, her session information is located here.

Site Updates

I’ve managed to find some time this weekend to do a few tweaks to the site. On the blog roll to the right (and on the blog page) I’ve added links to two blogs:

On the Femdom Image page I’ve added a collection of new tumblr links:

On the equipment page I’ve added a link to Strict Leather. And finally, I fixed the artwork entry on Augustine to point at some useful galleries rather than his closed image fap page. I’m still looking for a definitive site for his work if it’s out there.

I’ll leave you with a shot of Mistress Olivia Fitzgerald herself, taken from her commercial site. I found it interesting, as it’s one of those shots that if you described it to someone unseen, the resulting impression would be completely contrary to how it actually comes across. What would sound like scary serious S&M play, actually looks kind of sweet and tender in the image itself.

Mistress Olivia Fitzgerald

Motel Fun

I’m lucky enough to session in some amazing playspaces. I’ve also had the chance to stay in some beautiful hotels. Yet, looking at the picture below, I suddenly have the urge to arrange something freaky in a sleazy motel room. The decor is hideous. The cleanliness no doubt suspect. There’s no fancy equipment. But it just looks like it’d be a hell of a lot of fun.

I find the ambiance of playspace can have a big effect on my feelings in a scene. A professional dungeon makes me happy and excited – so many toys to play with! A bedroom promotes intimacy. A high end hotel makes me feel decadent. And a cheap old fashioned hotel makes me think of illicit assignations. People sneaking away to do socially unacceptable things to each other. Rooms that have seen it all before and hotel staff who pretend to not notice. I kind of like that.

Of course my attraction to the room below might be partly explained by the presence of the beautiful Lexi Sindel. By all accounts she has a very nice studio in LA, so I’m not sure what the background to this shot is but, whatever the reason, I’m glad she published it on her tumbr.

Lexi Sindel in a motel