As part of my ten year kinkyversary I thought it’d be interesting to look back and try to figure out exactly who I’d played with over that time. I keep all my emails, so in theory I should be able to come up with a pretty accurate list. Actual sessions are way too numerous to count, but as far as people are concerned, I think the total is 37 different pro-dommes. On one hand that seems like a lot, but on the other hand, this is over a decade and spread across 9 different cities.
I wrote last year about my relative success rate in terms of identifying dommes I think I’ll have good session chemistry with. Looking at this list supports the rough estimates I made back then. There were 14 dommes who I played with once and didn’t feel that we had suitable chemistry. At the other extreme, there have been 11 dommes I loved playing with and always reached out to any time our paths crossed. The remaining 12 are dommes I’d like to play more with, but so far time, geography and circumstances have conspired against us.
Two other things also pop out from the list. Firstly, I’m surprised how many dommes on it are now retired from the profession. So if there’s someone you’ve always wanted to play with then I’d encourage you to reach out sooner rather than later. You never know when they’ll decide to hang up their whip (at least from a professional perspective).
The other thing that strikes me is the amazing diversity in styles, techniques and personalities. After all, this isn’t a random list. These are all pro-dommes I researched and decided would be a good fit for my kinks and preferred dynamic. When you browse pro-domme sites and see repeated common lists of activities and equipment you might be tempted to think the variance in play would be small. After all, when you think of other professional services – lawyer, doctor, masseuse – you don’t expect massive variation between different providers. Yet that’s exactly what you find in the dynamics of a pro-domme session. Even the more creative professions, like a chef or an actor, don’t compare. The best analogy I can think of is a fine artist. An artist will have a distinctive personal style that is common to all their work, but every artist is unique in their own approach.
This is Mistress Eleise De Lacy, someone who definitely falls into the category of people I’d love to play more with, should time and space not conspire against us. We intersected once in Vancouver back in 2013, but since then she has been based in Europe and the opportunity for further play hasn’t presented itself. Should you be similarly constrained, she does have an OnlyFans site you can join for a virtual experience.
Congrats on your 10 year journey. 15 years for me. Don’t get to play as much anymore, I live in a drastically domme challenged part of the country.
Thanks! Appreciate it. Although commiserations on living in an area with limited opportunities for play. That’s unfortunate.
-paltego
37 does seem like a lot. In a similar period I have played with 18 different ladies and I though that was a bit excessive. You’re right about the different styles and approaches though. Some ladies are chatty and approachable until they are in action. Others seem to feel that they must be stern and cold all the time. I must admit that the ladies I use repeatedly are all the former as I enjoy a pleasant chat before, after and even sometimes during the actual session. Also, lets face it, it doesn’t take much for a session to tip over into farce and I enjoy ladies who can appreciate the absurdity and humour of what we do and there are some to whom even just a smile is a complete anathema.
Well to be fair, I’d guess more than half the 37 were one off sessions. Most because I didn’t think we clicked (14), but a fair number of the others because we haven’t crossed paths again. There’s probably only been 1 or 2 dommes in each city that I consistently schedule time with when I visit.
I’m with you in preferring to chat and ease into a session rather than constantly being in a strict D/s mode. I find that’s much more natural and comfortable. A good sense of humor is always essential all around 🙂
-paltego
I’d love to see your list, the three buckets (11/12/14), and what you especially liked about each one in the 11 and 12 buckets.
37! Wow, that is amazing. If I saw 37, I would be classified as a slut! ;o)
I don’t like to publish detailed lists, but pretty much everyone in the 11 bucket are people I’ve written about regularly on here. e.g. Lydia and Savannah in Seattle, Yuki in SF, Cynthia Stone in LA, Tess and Troy Orleans in NYC, Mara in Chicago, etc. There are obviously a few more than that, but it’s a pretty good assumption if I posted multiple sessions with them here, then they’re someone I love seeing and will repeatedly see.
A lot of people in the 12 bucket I’ve also posted about (like Eleise De Lacy, Olivia Black, Ai Li, etc.) but for one reason or another I just haven’t had chance to cross paths with them as much as I would like. A lot of them I could see myself regularly playing with if I had the chance (and infinite time and resources…)
Typically anyone I think I didn’t click with, so it’ll be a one off session, I don’t mention here. That’s not 100% true, but is the general case. It doesn’t seem fair when someone else might have a great time with them. I also don’t want to have an angry domme emailing me thinking I’m bad mouthing her online!
It does seem a bit slutty when I look back on it! But in my defense, it’s only when I travel. I played with Lydia exclusively in Seattle. Then tried a few different Seattle dommes when she retired. Then I met Savannah, and now I’ll play exclusively with her here.
-paltego