chastity – Page 4 – Femdom Resource

Can’t get no respect

Miss Pearl has written some wise words on when it’s appropriate to block and ignore a submissive. Her post is primarily targeted at dommes communicating online and the warning signs they should look out for. However, it strikes me that the underlying sentiment behind most of her points applies to all genders and kinky persuasions, and both lifestyle and professional.

For example, any pro-domme who immediately emphasizes her dominant role or my submissive one in our initial communication is a red flag for me. Similarly, if she can’t be bothered to pay attention to what I’ve written, doesn’t respect my time, or if she appears to be stereotyping me into some pre-defined submissive roles, then those are also troubling signs. I’ve never yet had a good experience where I got a bad initial feeling, but went ahead with it anyway.

I believe one of the key themes here is mutual respect. That’s respect for each other as a person and individual, not simply a D or an s or any other letter of the alphabet. It’s respect for each others time and energy. Respect for personal safety and the social situation. A lot of the issues I’ve seen have flowed from a lack of respect on one side or the other.

Of course showing someone respect doesn’t also mean you can’t do terribly evil things to them. Like make them sleep on the floor, naked, hooded and in chains and chastity. That’s cruel, but she’ll still respect him in the morning.

This is of course from the English Mansion site, and I believe the sleeping beauty is Mistress Sidonia. I originally found the image on the Alternative Femdom tumblr.

Check out my enormous package

I have no idea what’s going on here. His pose is an aggressive ‘look at this big boy’, more usually found when brandishing an appendage rather than a huge medieval chastity device. She’s also got a look of ‘oh my, that’s a big one’, something better suited to lustful appreciation than chastity key holding.

I’ve failed to track down a source or an artist. If I had to guess I’d say it’s a vintage comic or book cover done by an artist used to illustrating more traditional erotica. Often illustrators in the 60’s and 70’s were simply given the title of a new publication and told to use their imagination. Perhaps this title featured femdom and chastity, but the artist couldn’t imagine anything other than a thrusting male and a wide eyed female.

I found this on the Old Erotic Art tumblr.

A cuckold at Christmas

This is a still from a Divine Bitches shoot entitled Cuckold Christmas. The lucky hubby has just received a CB-6000 device as a special Christmas gift, and his wife is enjoying tying and teasing him with it in place. After which she locks him into their prison cell under the stairs. I have to say that this plot development did give me a small problem with my suspension of disbelief. It seems an odd order of events to buy him his first chastity device after you’ve already fitted your living room out with a prison cell. Maybe he was stuck in the Christmas rush for an age and she had both time and power tools on her hands? Of course once he’s safely locked up, her boyfriend turns up for a festive fuck, leaving him with another gift to enjoy.

Plot mockery aside, I do like the images from this scene (although he needs to lose the socks). Jealousy and humiliation don’t do much for me in the cuckold dynamic, but I love the idea of tease and denial. The contrast of extreme pleasure with horrible frustration is an intriguing one. But while I think the images are good, the plot description on Divine Bitches is awful. This seems to be a common trait of a lot of kink sites. I’m not sure if they’re trying to cram as many porn-y search phrases as possible into the text, or this kind of description actually works to sell the material. Either way it’d make me keener to buy their movies if they weren’t all described by the porn-o-tron 2000 auto caption generator.

The scene features Felony, Maestro and David Chase. Available here from Divine Bitches.

Signs you might be a little strange

If you’re physically aroused by the sight of some shaped and polished steel, then you might be a little strange. After seeing this, I know I am. I went from “Wow, that’s hot” to “Wow, that’s weird I’m actually being aroused by that” in about 30 seconds.

This beautiful piece of chastity hardware is called The Torture Puzzle and was created by the talented folks at Steelwerks. I can’t see it being survivable for long-term wear, but it would certainly be fun to break out for special occasions!

Harmony restored

Here’s an image to restore mental peace after the battle of the last post. My lizard brain can enjoy the attractive dominant lady, her leather garb and that excitingly tight top. My simian brain nods approvingly at the outdoor appropriate clothing, the hefty chain leash and the appropriately positioned slave.

The lady in question is, of course, the wonderful Mistress T. She recently seems to be on a one women mission to make the already fine city of Vancouver an even more exciting location to live. This image was shot far from there, in my old part of the world, for the English Mansion site.

I found this image on the Rebel Mistress tumblr.

Cute young couple

After the verbiage of yesterday’s post, here’s something short and sweet – a cute young couple and a chastity device.

It’s my impression that chastity play is something people grow into over time. When you’re enjoying the surging hormones of youth, then the idea of delayed gratification is not a familiar one. Certainly when I was young the idea of locking up my new found source of entertainment would have sounded like crazy talk. Although I’m guessing a girl as cute as this could probably have talked me into it. And by probably, I mean with 100% certainty, if she’d smiled sweetly and whispered in my ear.

I found this on the I Crave Domination tumblr. I think it’s originally from the Submissive Cuckolds site.

The mirror shot genre

Using a camera phone to snap a reflected mirror shot is one of the new genres in candid porn. There are entire web sites dedicated to it, typically involving young women. It often hits the news when celebrities do it, or when the girls involved are teenagers and inadvertently create completely ridiculous legal problems for themselves and their friends.

Here’s a fun variation on the theme – showing your bound, gagged and cock locked slave off. Personally I’d say that it’s the best version yet.

I found this on the Fuck Yeah Femdom tumblr.

Curing my hysteria

Buying Christmas gifts for friends is always tricky. You don’t want to create a problem for them by sticking them with something they don’t like or can’t use. My circle of friends often defaults to wine, which leads to a lot of pointless circulating of bottles between us. Fortunately I have one friend with imagination, and she got me one of my best presents ever – a vintage vibrator.

The device in question can be seen below, with a couple of alternate angles here and here. She actually inherited it from a relative who collected antiques and vintage mechanical/electrical devices. Apparently her partner commented that it looked like it’d be very painful and you’d have to be crazy to allow it anywhere near your private parts. For some odd reason that immediately brought me to her mind, and I therefore had the pleasure of unwrapping it in a busy Seattle restaurant. I’m sure our server at least got a smile out of it.

Anyone surprised that vintage vibrators even exist should check out this article on their history. They were originally developed to ‘cure hysteria’ in women around the end of the nineteenth century. In a nice bit of Victorian double-think, since women weren’t sexual then using a device to induce a ‘hysterical paroxysm’ wasn’t sexual either. It was just a useful medical technique. They were even openly advertised in housekeeping magazines of the time. Here’s an advert I managed to track down for my very own device. Apparently I can look forward to a clear beautiful complexion and wonderfully attractive hair.

From a kinky perspective, the most dangerous bit looks to be the old frayed power cord. Nobody wants to get involved in some inadvertent electrical play at 120V.

Although vibrators are traditionally associated with inducing pleasure they can also be used for some interesting orgasm torture. Forced, ruined and denied orgasms are all fun kinky options. The shot below features Lexi Sindel forcing an orgasm for a man in chastity, which must be particularly uncomfortable. You can click through on the image to see the animated gif at the Femdom Empire blog.

An amused smile

I’ve posted in the past about the effect a smile in an image can have. It’s often the difference between an average image I’ll zip past on a tumblr and one that’ll have me looking for the save option. The shot below is a good case in point. I like the shiny chastity cage, the fact she’s making him do all the work and her relaxed pose with the cigarette. But the thing that really makes it an image worth posting is her smile. There’s a nice air of amused anticipation to it.

I found this on the sex is not the enemy tumblr.It’s originally from the strap-on dreamer site.

Cultivating the palette

I’ve been pondering on pain in recent days. What draws some people to it? What makes a masochist and why do other people find them so strange?

I think if you asked most people why they didn’t like pain, they’d assume you were crazy. It hurts. What else is there to say? However, when I look at how people experience pain in everyday life, I suspect that it’s not the sensation itself that’s the primary issue. Instead, it’s the fear and uncertainty that comes with it. Sure when you hit your thumb with a hammer there’s that brief flash of agony that temporarily blocks out coherent thought. But after that, as it subsides to a dull throb, what stays with you is the uncertainty. Have I fractured something? Did I damage the nail? Is it going to swell up? Will I need a trip to the ER? It’s a similar story with chronic pain, like a bad back or a damaged ligament. The pain might be manageable, but what stresses people is the lack of control. They don’t know when it’ll stop, when it might flare up, how much it might impact their daily life.

It’s hard to find examples of pain in normal life that doesn’t have this element of fear and uncertainty. However, there are a few – working out, eating spicy food or playful biting and scratching during sex. The sensations here are often painful ones, but are not described that way. There is no fear or uncertainty, the situation is a controlled one, and therefore the perception is a much more positive one.

When discussing masochism there’s often a lot of talk about wires getting crossed in the brain, as though there’s something fundamentally different about masochists. I wonder how true that really is. Growing up I was never particularly interested in pain. What fascinated me was exchanging control. Pain seemed like an interesting way to emphasize that exchange – I can hurt you and you can’t stop me – but it didn’t seem like an end in itself. It was only when I got physically involved in BDSM that I began to think about it differently. The very safe and defined limits of a play session allowed me to experience the sensation of pain, but divorced from the negative connotations it usually has. I began to explore and appreciate the sensation both in its own terms and as a tool for play.

I therefore wonder if there are a lot of other people out there who would be masochists, but never have the chance to find out. Is appreciating pain perhaps something not inherent in certain people but – at the risk of sounding like a cross between a Bond villain and a Cenobite – just something that needs to be cultivated? People can learn to appreciate oysters and good wine. Maybe nipple clamps and leather floggers are a similarly acquirable taste.

I’ll leave you with a couple of shots from Divine Bitches of Mistress Madeline helping somebody cultivate their own particular palette for pain. If he hasn’t developed one already, this looks like the perfect time to start.