Bucket Lists

I’m not sure if I should be entertained or depressed by this article on ‘Sexual Bucket Lists’. On the one hand, it makes me feel like a crazed hedonist pushing the boundaries of sexual depravity. Which, given that I’m perceived by my friends as a quiet introvert who doesn’t date much, makes me smile. On the other hand, unless they were surveying a bunch of nuns, I feel bad for the people the lists were based on.

Using a sex toy and and using flavored lubricant both feature as bucket list items for women. How can a fantasy that is literally an Amazon one-click away, be a bucket list worthy item? Expedite the shipping and you can nail 20% of your fantasy list before the weekend. And after you’ve used your phone to place that order, call your partner up and tick off the phone sex fantasy at the same time. Do it in the bath and you’ve nailed 40% of the list without leaving your house.

In fairness, at least the women’s list contains bondage and blindfolds, which is a little more risque. The #1 item on the men’s list is car sex. How is that still a thing? I can just picture the scene – “Hey honey, you know what’d be great? Let’s leave this comfy bed and go get it on in the back of the minivan! It’ll be cold, uncomfortable and full of rubbish from the kids – just the way we like it.” Plus, who doesn’t own or have some sort of access to a car? I get how arranging a threesome can present a logistical challenge, but how hard is it to call Hertz?

I should at least give credit to the men who listed anal sex as their #3 thing to do before they die. There’s still a lot of mainstream stigma around the idea of male anal pleasure, so it’s cheering to know there are plenty of men out there who are up for a good hard pegging.

I’m afraid I’ve no idea who the artist for this is. As always, if you can help me attribute, feel free to leave a comment.

Gifts with Benefits

I’ve never been into the online panty purchasing scene. In the highly unlikely event you’ve no idea what I’m talking about, then Metro has a decent article on it here. I understand the fetish and, as I wrote yesterday, I enjoy scents as part of play. It’s just a case of YKINMKBYKIOK when it comes to UPS and plastic bags of used underwear.

However, I do appreciate items of feminine clothing being worked into an in person scene. It’s a fun dynamic, with elements of tease and denial, humiliation and intimacy all twisted together. I’ve even occasionally been gifted the odd item at the end of a scene, which is normally a nice memento, but was once the source of some embarrassment.

It was around my birthday and, as a departing gift, the domme gave me the pair of black fishnet stocking she’d been wearing during part of our play. I thanked her for the unexpected birthday present, stuffed them into the pocket of my leather jacket, and went merrily on my way. In my post scene high, I promptly forgot all about them. That is until the next night, when I’m out with friends and hunting for my wallet to pick up a bar tab. Had it been the start of the evening I might have realized what my fingers had encountered, but sadly this was not our first or even second stop. So, with a brain slightly less razor sharp than usual, and assuming my wallet might be under this random unidentified fabric in my pocket, I pulled the stockings out. It turns out to be remarkable hard for a tipsy single guy to quickly come up with a plausible excuse for why he’s carrying black fishnet stockings in his pocket.

I’m not 100% sure, but I this looks awfully like the work of Apollonia Saintclair.

Smelly

Scent and sex make a complicated combination. On one hand, everyone likes a sweetly smelling partner. Sex workers will always put good personal hygiene right up there with polite and punctual in their top requirements for clients. Anyone who has been stuck in a small space with someone with bad body odor will understand how unappealing that can be.

Yet, on the flip side, a scent can be one of the sexiest things in the world. I love to pick up different ones from my play partners. It can be feet, armpits, genitals or even ass. They’ve all got their own fun funky notes. It’s a very intimate and sensual thing.

With looks, or sounds or touch it’s normally easy to say why something appeals or not. I like long hair, I love it when you call me a ‘good boy’, I prefer thuddy to stingy impacts, etc.  When it comes to scents we’ve really got nothing. It’s either hot or it’s not, and I’ve no idea what makes the difference between those two cases.

I think this is a great image with a lovely dynamic. Sadly I don’t know the artist. If anyone can help me attribute it correctly then please leave me a suitable comment.

Captive

Something simple and sexy to start the week. Sadly I’ve no idea who the artist is or where this is from. I get a bit of a deep South jail vibe from it. Maybe a no good country boy bootlegger with the Sheriff’s daughter? She plays the innocent, but has a devilish streak a mile wide.

Pascal Campion

I think you’re supposed to get more cynical as you get older. The optimism of youth fades into a jaded middle age, which it turns morphs into grouchy old age. Then death.

Oddly I seem to be going in the opposite direction. I’m way more sentimental than I was a decade or more ago. Presumably by the time I reach retirement, I’ll just be a mushy puddle. I think I’ll be OK with that.

The prompt for all this introspection is the art of Pascal Campion, as featured below. You can see more of it on his instagram and this gallery. There’s not really any femdom involved, but this particular image might give those that way inclined some warm fuzzy feelings. I’ve zero desire to have children, but if anyone wanted to pitch the concept to me, Pascal’s work would be a good place to start.

An Addendum to the Story

My previous post was a review of Mistress T’s autobiography – There is More to the Story. I had a couple of additional notes that didn’t really fit properly into the main review, so I thought I’d slide them into this follow-up.

Firstly, I was amused to read Mistress T’s view on the look she was given when shooting for kink.com. I wrote about this in 2016, commenting that the excessive makeup they’d used really didn’t play well with her natural beauty. In her book, Mistress T was even more cutting than I was, describing her eyes after the application of dark eyeliner as ‘looking like two piss holes in the snow’. I think that’s harsh but fair. Clearly a failure of imagination on kink.com’s part, and I’m glad I wasn’t alone in that thought.

The other potential crossover that caught my eye was the story behind the painting she used for the cover of the book. It was created by Vancouver artist Drew Young, based on a private commission from Mistress T in 2012. In her book she describes making the connection with Drew Young via a post on a fetish blog that featured one of his images and asked the question “Is this a cuckolding scene?” Similarly Drew Young, in his blog post on the painting in 2012, described her discovery of him as via a ‘prominent Femdom blog’.

Now, I don’t want to blow my own trumped here, but in this post in June of 2012, I featured the exact Drew Young picture Mistress T describes in her book, and I talked about the potential cuckolding slant. Following that in July of 2012, Mistress T talks about commissioning her painting,  and then takes delivery of it in August. Given that timing, the similarity of my post to the one she describes, and the fact that I’m not aware of any other femdom blog featuring that specific image at that time, I’m going to claim credit here for the connection. And therefore also lay claim to a (very) indirect mention for this blog in Mistress T’s excellent book.

I actually emailed Mistress T to ask if this blog was the one in question. She thought my post seemed familiar, and it was very possible, but after 7 years there was no way to be sure. I did enjoy the fact that the artist had absolutely no idea what cuckolding was, and the original painting I’d featured was simply a trio partying and doing blow.

This is the painting created by Drew Young for Mistress T, and then later used as the cover for her book.

Saucy Sketch

Random aside before I start the post proper: Hurrah for Olivia Colman. I typically have zero interest in the Oscars, but I was very happy to see she won tonight. If you’ve not seen her before, then I strongly recommend checking out Season 1 of Broadchurch and The Favourite (which is both excellent and spelled correctly).

Now, back to the part of the post I originally planned, which may actually be shorted than my random aside. The saucy sketch below comes courtesy of Yumine Guo. I personally find it pretty hot, despite not really being a fan of body writing or humiliation. Not sure exactly how that works, but I’ll take hotness wherever I can find it.

You can find Yumine’s Patreon here.

A Brief but Very Expensive Session

I really enjoyed the Wonder Woman movie, but the panels below make me think I should also investigate some of the more recent comics. It’s from Sensation Comics featuring Wonder Woman #20 and you can see more of the surrounding panels from this scene here. It seems to be a very fun take on the character. Of course thanks to FOSTA, Craigslist has already dropped its personals section, so I guess a major felony is now the only way to get beaten up by Wonder Woman. So much for these new laws cutting down on crime.

I originally found this via a tweet from Alice in BondageLand.

The Importance of Hydration

This tweet from Victoria Rage made me smile…

Every Domme about to attempt a golden scene has a secret stash of multiple beverages hidden away to better the odds of making things happen. Look hard enough and you can almost always tell what’s in store.

That’s very true. Whenever I spot a domme regularly swigging liquids during a scene, I have a pretty good idea of what’s to come. However, sometimes it turns out the domme was just feeling dehydrated, and then it’s a little disconcerting.

We’ll get to the end of the session and she’ll be  – “Well that was fun. Take care. See you next time!” And  I’ll smile, hug and wave goodbye, but internally I’ll be thinking – “Huh? What’s going on with all that liquid? Don’t tell me it’s simply going to be flushed down the toilet! What a waste.”

I’m not sure of the original source for this artwork, but I do like the caption. ‘Ah!’ indeed. But is that his satisfied exclamation or hers?

Extreme Breathplay

Rolling Stone magazine has an interesting article on waterboarding as a kink. It features Elise Graves, the bondage aficionado I played with and posted about last week.

Waterboarding is certainly a more extreme kink, although I think its intensity can vary dramatically depending on how it’s done. I actually experienced it a couple of times a few years back, but not in an inverted position and not with a huge amount of water. I was basically horizontal and could lift my head slightly, which meant the water tended to drain away from my nose and mouth. I suspect that makes a big difference to the degree of terror induced. The coldness of the water triggered the mammalian diver reflex, which combined with bondage and a D/s dynamic created quite an unusual and intense headspace.

It’s a kink I could never have indulged in during the years when America was actually using the technique to torture prisoners. That’s not entirely logical – what I did in a Seattle playspace had no bearing on what the government did thousands of miles away – but it felt wrong and immoral to get sexual kicks from something that was being used in such a horrible way. When I did eventually try a lightweight version of it, years after Obama banned its usage on prisoners, we still avoided any kind of interrogation dynamic or roleplay. That seemed too close to a terrible reality.

Of course water and cloth is just one way to take someones breath away. As this Rodzo artwork shows, there are other options.