Femdom Resource – Page 181 – The beauty of dominant women

A refreshing dip

It’s insanely warm in Seattle right now. At least by the local standards. My apartment temperature control claims it’s 83F, and that’s at 2:30 in the morning. So while this image might typically be seen to be an intense type of breathplay, right now to me it looks like a very refreshing dip. I could really use someone shoving my head into an icy tub of water.

As the not particularly subtle watermark suggests, this is from Mistress Kawa. She’s a Spanish based Mistress. I found it via the Felm Cyber tumblr.

DomCon LA

Another day, another post, another movie. This one is a little different to the last two, as it’s just a short clip taken at DomCon in LA this year. It’s a time lapse movie showing around 70 dommes assembling for a group photograph, put together by Alice in BondageLand. I thought it was kind of fun, particularly if you know enough faces to play spot the domme.

I couldn’t locate a good photograph of the 2014 shot, so this this image is actually from the same event in 2012. It again comes courtesy of Mistress Alice in BondageLand

My Mistress

On the continuing topic of movies, although in a less family friendly vein, is a new Australian feature entitled My Mistress. It stars Harrison Gilbertson as a troubled teenage boy and Emmanuelle Béart as the beautiful dominatrix who lives down the street. I haven’t seen any reviews for it yet, but you can watch the trailer here.

Much as I enjoy seeing Emmanuelle Béart in tight latex and high heeled boots, it’s a shame the dominatrix tropes are so inextricably woven into the idea of domination and kink. It’d be nice to see a movie where kink and femdom wasn’t tied to professional dominance, and where the leading lady didn’t look like she’d be equally at home playing catwoman. Despite all that, the movie does look like an interesting one to watch out for.

Frozen

Lacking any children to entertain I’ve not seen the latest Disney hit Frozen. While I’ve no plans to remedy that anytime soon, I was intrigued to read about a set of handcuffs somebody had built based on those used in the movie. They’re apparently designed to prevent wizardly powers being invoked, and are therefore fearsome metal mittens that cover the entire hand. They even come with a fancy carry case. The effort put into them is impressive, but I wonder if turning up with a BDSM device modeled after a scene in a children’s movie might be more creepy than cool.

This young lady seems to have some wizardly powers all of her own. I’m not sure if she’s responsible for the snow itself, but she’s certainly responsible for making all the gentleman’s clothes disappear. I just hope she’s got an equally good spell for making those high heeled boots grip on icy ground.

Fatal Attraction

After the verbiage of the last two posts, here’s a little eye candy. These striking images are by the photographer Lyn Averson, who also posts on Deviant Art under the account yourloveleaves. They’re from a series called Fatal Attraction, a name which makes more sense when you see one of the later images in the series.

Following up on the flip side

Yesterday’s post featured a rather depressing article on the experiences of four dommes working in commercial BDSM houses. I thought I’d follow it up with some personal comments on the topic.

For those that are unaware of the professional BDSM business, I should explain that there are basically two types of pro-domme – independent and house. The difference rests in who actually owns the business. An independent domme is her own boss. She handles advertising, client screening, scheduling, sourcing equipment, providing a suitable playspace and (obviously) the session itself. In contrast a house domme works as an independent contractor for a commercial dungeon. The management of the dungeon handles the business side of maintaining the space and attracting clients. A domme will typically work a shift and negotiate sessions as clients appear. Anyone can show up at a commercial dungeon at almost any time and get to play, where independent dommes schedule in advance and may require days or even weeks of notice.

I always play with independent dommes. I’ve never seen any reason to do otherwise. My rational is simultaneously altruistic and selfish.

I know where the money is going, and it’s 100% to the person I play with. A commercial house takes a large cut of a session fee and I’ve no way of knowing exactly who is getting that money.
I get to play with someone who has demonstrated a degree of commitment to her profession. Managing a successful small business is hard work and, as mentioned in prior posts, I’ve endless respect for the skills necessary to operate as a successful pro-domme. In contrast the screening and training for dommes in a commerical house can be vague to almost non-existent. I might get someone with years of experience, or it might be someone who looks good in heels and just got handed their first whip.
I can build a relationship with a domme. Dommes in commercial houses can have regular clients, but if I’m going to play with one person frequently, it’s much easier if I can schedule and negotiate with that person on a 1 to 1 basis.

None of this is to say that there aren’t talented dommes working in commercial dungeons. For example, readers of Miss Margo’s blog will be much aware of her undoubted BDSM skills, as well as her complex feelings about the space she worked. It’s also true that many independents started in a commercial dungeon, and that well run dungeons do exist. My problem as a client is that I’ve got no way of identifying those cases. Even if I was guaranteed a fantastic experience with a talented domme, I wouldn’t want to do it anywhere that mistreats its employees. Whether it’s my mechanic, lawyer or barista, I always bias to small and independent concerns, and I think that’s a particularly important policy when it comes to sex work.

This is another image taken by Susan Meiselas at New York’s Pandoras Box in 1995. You can see the full set of photographs here (note that there are 2 pages worth).

The flip side

Over the last couple of years I’ve written a lot of posts about positive experiences of professional domination. That’s not a matter of selective editing. From my perspective, as a client playing with independent dommes, my experiences have been overwhelmingly positive. However, I think it would be remiss of me to not feature articles that show a less positive side of the profession. One such article is ‘The Commercial Dungeon Experience: Abusive Management And Exploitation‘ hosted by the Tits and Sass site. It features four dommes who experienced some fairly horrendous treatment in commercial houses.

I may post some follow-up thoughts tomorrow, but for now I’ll just offer the link as reading material. If you’re at all involved in sex work (on either side of the transaction) then the Tits and Sass site is generally well worth reading. Although if you’re on the client side of the equation I strongly suggest limiting yourself purely to reading, and not butting into the discussion.

The image below is by the photographer Susan Meiselas and was taken at NYC’s Pandora’s Box in associated with the Nick Broomfield documentary Fetishes. Note that I’ve no idea where the four dommes in the article worked and I’m not implying a connection between the article and that particular house. It just seemed a suitable image to use, given that it’s one of the most well known houses in NYC, and the documentary is one of the most well known representations of a commerical BDSM house. This was from back in 1995.

What a big smile you have

I thought I’d continue the pegging theme from yesterday’s post with this young lady. She’s got a big wide smile and big wide cock. What more could one ask for?

This is originally from the Strapon Dreamer site. I found it via the appropriately named Pegging with a Smile tumblr.

Oh Joy Sex Toy

Fans of comics, sex and humor should enjoy the Oh Joy Sex Toy site. As its new reader page states, it’s a weekly comic that reviews all sorts of things related to sex, sexuality and the sex industry. Example comics include guides to cunnilingus and bondage, interviews with amazing porn stars like Stoya and Jizz Lee, a guide to strap-on harnesses and the artist’s experiences with pegging. It’s sadly low on kinky toys, with little for the S&M crowd, but it’s an informative and entertaining read all the same.

The image below is the first part of the aforementioned comic on pegging, featuring Erika (the artist) and her husband Matthew. The original is far longer and more descriptive. So consider this a small taster and click through to read the rest.

Snaps from SF

On my recent trip to San Francisco I was lucky enough to play with both Domina Yuki and Domina Ai-Li. Sadly we were too busy having fun (masochistically speaking) to take a lot of photographs, but Domina Yuki did snap a couple of shots of some CBT play we did. Those not afraid of pictures of naked boy bits can see one shot here and a close-up here.

She managed to create a really interesting set-up. The balls were pulled down and out by clips and twine attached to the chair I was sitting on. Then the nipple clamps were attached to clips on the head of the cock. This put everything into tension and, in a particularly devious touch, that tension changed as my physical arousal changed. The result was a sadistic perpetual motion machine: Softness -> pulled nipples -> pain -> stimulation -> errection -> less tension -> less pain -> softness. It’s an endless masochistic cycle, with the added factor of a talented lady squeezing, slapping and pinching all manner of sensitive body parts. Being caned on my inner thigh in that set-up certainly caught my attention.

I can’t leave a post with only shots of my naked scrawny ass, so here’s a beautiful and striking image from Domina Yuki’s tumblr.