Cock Destroyers

Today was a very disappointing day. I woke up to discover that ‘Cock Destroyers’ was trending on social media. I had no idea who or what that was, but it sounded like something right up my street. Apparently they’d broken up. Was this a cool BDSM band I’d never heard of? A kinky femdom artist collective? A famous power couple who specialized in emasculating men?

Sadly, the truth was a lot more boring. It was a meme based on a twitter clip from two pornstars, who apparently have fallen out. What a let down. I didn’t think it was possible to create an unsexy video of two busty women in fetish outfits claiming to be cock destroyers, but apparently I was wrong. It’s a sad day when your sexy video clip is less hot than an actual kick in the nuts.

This artwork is by Mad Tomy, who specializes in Femdom Fighting scenes. If you’d like to see more like this you can shop for them here. He also has a twitter feed here.

Widow

Here’s an image for anyone who enjoys the ‘grieving young widow who definitely killed her much older richer husband’ fantasy. Feel free to tack on a ‘…and is now about to make her step-son’s life very painful’ if you’re into a mommy-domme femme fatale fantasy. Not that’s my kind of thing obviously. Not sure why I even mentioned it. The very idea of her sexually teasing and torturing that poor boy while spending his deceased father’s money is a twisted one, and certainly nothing I would ever think about. Apart from now. And maybe a bit later tonight.

I found this via a tweet. I believe it’s from the Le Femme En Noir collection.

Sporting Wager

This image has popped up onto my radar a fair number of times over the years. Various femdom tumblr, twitter, pinterest and blogs have featured it at some point. I always figured it was the result of some sort of sporting bet, and apparently that’s exactly what it was. Having tracked down the original non-kinky source – which I’m definitely not going to link to here – this was the penalty for losing a 3 point shoot out competition.

I do have to wonder – exactly how hard did the gentleman in question try to win? I know the young paltego would have been very happy to be ‘forced’ to kiss a ladies foot in front of a cheering crowd. Although in my case, given a total lack of sporting prowess, deliberately throwing the game would not have been required. I could have happily tried my best and still ended up on my knees. In this case, even if he didn’t start with a related kink, after this experience he might well have gained one.

Top 10 Misconceptions

Princess Natasha Strange has published a post listing what she believes are the top ten misconceptions about professional dominatrix. It’s a well written and thoughtful list. Hopefully, none of them should be too surprising to regularly readers here, but it’s a handy reminder of what a lot of the world believes.

One that particularly jumped out to me was number 8 – ‘Dominatrix have no other job prospects’. In my long career in tech I’ve met a fair number of people who I’ve thought would struggle in any other job. I’ll come away from meetings with some developers thinking – “Wow. It’s a good job you can write code, because your interpersonal skills and basic understanding of the real world are sadly lacking.” To put it in D&D terms  – there’s a lot of high intelligence, low wisdom, low charisma characters in the tech sector.

In contrast, I don’t think I’ve ever a met pro-domme who couldn’t excel in any number of other fields. It’s a profession that requires a really broad range of skills. Kinky ones – like throwing a whip properly – might not be all that transferable, but all the ones around communication, empathy, reading people, creativity and planning are. Not to mention the practical matters of running a small business, advertising, budgeting, administration, etc. A great pro-domme can’t just roll high on one stat – they need the trifecta of high intelligence, wisdom and charisma.

This image is of Princess Natasha Strange is from her website.  She’s a Portland based dominatrix and BDSM educator. If you’re interested in submitting to her, you can find the relevant information here. You can also follow her on twitter here.

Soles for Souls

Shoe and foot fetishes are one of the commonest kinks out there. Giantess fetish is a little more niche, but definitely has a non-trivial number of adherents. The odds are therefore good that for some people, blessed with both of those kinks, this Taiwanese Church is mana from heaven.

In the tweet I sourced this from it’s described as ‘designed to attract female worshippers.’ Which briefly made me think we had our first femdom church. Then I sadly realized that it meant worshippers who are female, rather than worshippers of women. That makes it more sexist than sexy.

According to this BBC article it was inspired by the story of a local woman who had to have her legs amputated due to disease. This led to her wedding being cancelled and her spending the rest of her life in a church. I’m not quite sure why they thought a giant shoe was an appropriate way to honor that story.  It’d be a bit like building the Lincoln Memorial in the shape of the Ford Theater.

The construction price was $686,000. Maybe my values have been distorted by Seattle’s crazy housing market, but that seems kind of cheap. I couldn’t even get a 2 bedroom condo for that around here, let alone 3,000+ sq feet of giant shoe. If you are a well off kinky foot fetishist with a thing for enormous women, maybe considering looking up the architect? Building one for kinky fun would seem less obnoxious than a church for women based on a story of one being cruelly spurned. Although God help you when it came to getting the city building permits.

Striking a Balance

Wise words here in a post from Mistress Maya Midnight.

Describing your desires is not topping from the bottom, and anyone who tells you otherwise is probably a terrible domme. What you’re actually doing is giving your dominant the necessary tools to effectively dominate you.

There’s an important balance to be struck here, and being vague about your desires can be as bad as being overly prescriptive. The world of kink is vast and even the most adventurous of kinksters will only enjoy a relatively small slice of it. Hoping your dominant will randomly hit on the bits of it that work for you is asking for trouble.

My approach has always been to share some of the dynamics I enjoy and a selection of the activities that work for me, then let the domme riff on those. I’m not trying to grab the steering wheel from her, but I do want to offer a sketch map of the area she’s attempting to navigate us through.

On the flipside, if your domme always seems to be simply running through a checklist of activities, then you might want to look elsewhere. A good domme will always put her own twist on things. Play is a shared collaborative process, and the trick is striking the right balance on the input from each side.

Here’s a shot of Mistress Maya Midnight from her twitter feed. She’s based in NYC and you can find her professional site here. I’ve never been fortunate enough to play with her, but I’m sure she’s a wonderfully creative domme.

Touring Her Crib

I’m very much not an AB/DL kinkster. If I’m playing in the dommy mommy space, I’ll always be the confused and vulnerable teenager rather than the diaper wearing baby. However, I do love seeing kinky set-ups that have obviously had a lot of thought and passion put into them. It makes me happy to see people really committing to their kinks. In the case of the images below, the commitment is from Dommy Mommy K, with shots she shared via this tweet.

I assume furniture like this must be custom made. It doesn’t look like something that could be re-purposed from a conventional use. It’s also not the kind of thing the average BDSM retailer carries. Not only is the equipment special, but Miss K has done a really great job of accessorizing it appropriately. That’s real kinky commitment on show.

Dommy Mommy K is based near Cleveland Ohio. You can find her professional site here.

Red Thread

I assumed when I first spotted this image that it was a combination of wedding and cosplay. It’s a cute scene, but I wouldn’t have been surprised to discover they were inspired to do it by their favorite roleplaying game. However, I believe it’s something much older – The Red Thread of Fate.

This is an East Asian belief that an invisible read thread links those destined to be together in love. Hunting around online led me to similar shots – for example here and here. As far as I can tell the belief mainly relates to a cord connecting fingers and doesn’t involve the male being tied up. Not sure why all my searching led to femdom slanted bondage – possibly the search engines just know me really well – but I definitely approve.

Comfortably Strange

This recent Slate advice column has a couple of kink themed letters on cross-dressing and foot fetish. Stoya gives solid advice, but neither are particularly happy scenarios from the relationship perspective. The second one – featuring a man deeply embarrassed about his foot fetish – reminded me of this tweet by Arielle Ivy.

Clients who go on and on about how embarrassed they are by their kinks always end up being into something extremely common like feet, meanwhile the clients who are into the weirdest, most niche things are so nonchalant about it lmao. Why is that?

That seems like a strange contradiction, but on reflection it does make some sort of sense. I suspect if you think of yourself as 90% conventionally straight, with just this one ‘weird’ outlier interest, that outlier gains excess weight and significance in your mind. It’s the ‘blemish’ that you can sometimes suppress, but always sneaks back into your thoughts. The thing that makes you different.

On the other hand, if you’ve got all sorts of genuinely unusual and niche kinks, then you probably didn’t land on them immediately. You’ll have explored, tried out different things, thought about what works and how it all fits together for you. You don’t think as yourself as 90% ‘normal’ with a guilty secret. Instead your just kinky with some things you particularly enjoy.

I also suspect there’s also some observational bias here. I’d guess that when professionals like Arielle meet clients into niche kinks, it’s highly likely that the client has seen professional sex workers before. Finding regular partners into niche kinks can be hard. People with more common and easily met kinks don’t have quite that same pressure, so reaching out to a sex worker might be rarer and hence more stressful.

The original site this image is from appears to have ceased to exist.