Most Underrated Implement

Yesterday’s post featured floggers, an implement with a high utility in play but comparatively limited representation in BDSM imagery. As soon as I published the post it occurred to me that there was another implement that had a much stronger claim to the most skewed misrepresentation. That would be the humble clothespin. Relatively rare in BDSM porn. A staple of kinky play.

The beauty of clothespins is their versatility. You can attach them to any part of the body. Grab a thin slice of tight skin and they can be very intense. Pick a generous fleshy part and they’re a mild buzz. You can twist them, rub against them and yank them off. Tie them together and you’ve got a zipper. Shave their ends down and you’ve got a much tighter and more focused pinch. Small ones feel different to the big ones, and plastic ones different to the wooden ones. Most fun of all – once you pull them off then rubbing the pinched spot is a whole different sensation. In terms of cost versus benefit, there’s no question that the simple clothespin is the kinky bargain to beat all others.

This image – featuring a simple clothespin zipper – is from the Kink VR site. 

Flogging Fun

It’s a shame flogging doesn’t get more love when it comes to corporal play. Whips have more drama. Canes more visual appeal. Spanking pushes more psychological buttons. Yet in terms of factors like the intensity of sensation delivered, control over the escalation of intensity, the overall skill required and the margins for error, flogging is arguably the best bang for buck in corporal play.

I’d also say that out of all the corporal toys,floggers have the greatest variety in the type of sensations it can create. They can be light or heavy, thuddy or stingy, blunt or sharp. Some can feel like a great massage and others like you were lashed with razors. Whatever the masochistic mood, there’s probably a flogger that’ll suit it.

I’m afraid I don’t have an attribution for this image.

Bad Gifts for Rich Idiots

Gwyneth Paltrow’s Goop brand is notorious for ridiculous and overpriced products. In the past they’ve featured things like vaginal jade eggs and coffee enemas. This year their holiday gift collection features a leather bondage kit that costs an eye watering $1,350 and yet appears to have been designed by someone who has no idea about bondage . That’s $1,350 for just 4 cuffs, 4 straps and a leather paddle. I can’t see any proper padding on the cuffs and the fastening mechanism looks more applicable to a fashionable belt than bondage fun. For that kind of money I’d expect Gwyneth herself to turn up and tie me down.

If you are going to invest in bondage Christmas gifts, then I’d direct your attention to somewhere like Fetters, which carry better quality products at a much lower cost. For example, they feature proper leather cuffs for less than $100 a pair and a wide selection of paddles. Or, for about what Goop are charging for 4 cuffs and a paddle, you could get the bondage chair shown below. That looks like it’d be way more fun for less money. Although probably harder to hide from children and nosy relatives.

Note that I don’t carry sponsored posts, advertising or affiliate links. I make no money from this site. If I’m linking somewhere, it’s because I like them. I do have a soft spot for Fetters, as they’re based in the area I grew up in.

Devilish Look

Something simple for this post. A devilish look from  Mistress Madeline, captured shooting for kink.com.

I post a lot of sessions here that feature fancy bondage equipment or intense sensation play. But frankly, none of that matters if the right dynamic isn’t created. The activities are all in service of that connection. And this is the kind of gleeful expression that I strive for when looking for that. Happy female sadists are my greatest joy in life.

The Widow To Be

Random thought of the day: The veil is the least fetishized item of women’s clothing. It’s very rare you see them in any kind of kinky scene. Which is kind of odd. I’d imagine that the heavier full face ones would work well in a sci-fi or medical roleplay. The lighter more fashionable ones – the kind sported by Mistress Adrienne below – would work in a femme fatale or black window roleplay. This would be a great look for a tease and breathplay scene featuring a soon to be late husband whose about to realize the importance of those documents he just signed.

This shot of the beautiful and very fashionable Mistress Adrienne is from this tweet.

An Expensive Affair

I’m theoretically a fan of the consensual cuckold dynamic. I say theoretically because I’ve never actually tried it, but the tease+denial aspects of it definitely push my kinky buttons.

Non-consensual cuckolding is obviously a different story and a real asshole move. According to this article, it also carries the risk of being an incredibly expensive move. At least in certain US States – North Carolina, Mississippi, South Dakota, Utah, New Mexico and Hawaii – where you can sue for alienation of affection. The example in the article features someone ending up liable for $750,000 for an affair. That makes a no-strings attached webcam session or NifeFlirt scene seem like a real bargain. Incredibly you don’t even have to live in these States to get caught out. Just online flirting with someone who lives there could make you liable.

The laws are obviously incredibly anachronistic and should be removed, but they do at least highlight the importance of consent. Don’t cuckold someone unless they’re really into it.

If cuckold porn scenes are to be believed, almost every cuckold knows what is going on. He’s normally in the room while it’s happening, providing a helpful tongue or looking comically dismayed.

A Schooling via Twitter

This twitter thread – featuring a man complaining to Dan Savage about the prices charged by pro-dommes – blew up big on my feed. Unsurprisingly a lot of dommes were unimpressed with his suggestion that they drop their rates to suit him. Dan summarized a collection of the responses in his column.

I’m not going to rehash the primary question. I think the answer to that was covered pretty extensively in the thread. I will say that I love his subconscious thought process that led to it. Presumably it went something like this: I want to be dominated. I can’t afford a pro-domme. That fact can’t possibly be my fault. It’s therefore a problem with the pro-dommes in my area. They obviously don’t understand how to run their business. Amazing that all of them are making the same mistake. I shall now write to the world to tell everyone of my insight!

Ironically, if it’s true that all the professional in his area are charging $250 an hour, then he’s actually getting a bit of a bargain. That was the average rate when I started playing almost a decade ago. These days it’s usually $300 and up, rising to $400+ in expensive areas like Manhattan or San Francisco.

In an effort to produce something positive from his letter, and aid anyone thinking of seeing a pro-domme for the first time, it might be worth clarifying the subject of tribute. He seems somewhat confused by the word. Possibly due to hanging out on social media with too many fin dommes.

Tribute is simply the fancy industry term for an hourly rate. If you’re playing with an independent domme, then you simply tribute for the length of session you desire. A small number of dommes do charge extra for certain equipment (e.g. single use medical supplies) or for certain activities (e.g. full toilet), but that’s relatively rare and those extras should all be announced and agreed upfront. Tips and gifts are obviously gratefully received, but never required *.

In the very unlikely event that you find yourself in a situation where fees are being negotiated mid-session, or you’re being upsold activities after starting play, or there’s not a clear understanding ahead of time of the total cost, then don’t walk away. Run as fast as possible. I’ve never had this happen to me. No competent professional will ever do it. But I have heard of it happening, particularly when dealing with escorts who offer domination services, and it’s a big red flag **.

I found this Tribute inspired T-Shirt available for sale here.

* This applies to independent dommes. For playing at a house dungeon, where the domme works as an independent contractor for the commerical dungeon, then you should always tip the domme.

** This applies to conventional BDSM sessions. If you’re mixing financial domination into your play, then obviously different rules may apply.

More Chicago Hijinks

As I’ve written in the past, I like to mix up my kinky play when travelling. I want to play with people I know to continue to build a rapport, but also play with people I’ve not met before to explore new dynamics and expand my kinky horizons. It’s not an algorithm that scales all that well, but it is fun to try.

For my recent Chicago trip, in the former category was Mistress Mara Mayhem, who I’ve known since 2016. In the latter category I was lucky enough to get some time with Olivia Black. She has an outstanding reputation as a talented and creative domme. After doing just one session with her, I can say that it’s thoroughly deserved.

We did a nice mix of caning, bondage and torturing my delicate parts (TDP), all delivered with the kind of caring sensual sadism that really pushes my buttons. I particularly enjoyed the trick of leaning in for a hug after attaching clothespins to my chest. There’s something attractively devilish about using a moment of closeness and contact to spike the pain levels by dragging against the pins. It’s a heady mix of pain and pleasure, where the boundaries between the two become very blurred.

This is Olivia Black shot by photographer Alejandra Gguerrero. If you’re in the Chicago area and interested in scheduling a session, you can find Olivia’s professional site here.  Her instagram is available here.

Home Again

Apologies for the lack of posts in recent days. My Chicago hotel, whilst excellent in many aspects, was sadly lacking in terms of a reliable internet connection. They had zero connectivity for 3+ days and I didn’t have the time to schlep my laptop to a coffee shop to blog. I’m now back in Seattle, so normal service should be resumed.

Although I had some good kinky fun in Chicago, I sadly didn’t get any photographs to share. I had two great sessions with Mistress Mara Mayhem, who made me growl with nipple clamps, moan with clothespins and laugh a lot with an ice cube. I think an unexpected shock of cold to the nape of my nape provoked a stronger reaction than a needle through the nipple did.

I don’t get to see Mistress Mara as often I’d like, but it’s always a pleasure when our paths cross and we can renew our play together. Although we’re both serious about kink, that doesn’t mean sessions have to entirely serious, and it’s nice to intersperse laughter between the moans and yells. It is called ‘play’ after all.

This is Mistress Mara looking serious in an image from her professional site. You can find links to her OnlyFans, NiteFlirt and Clips Store here, or follow her on twitter.