My super secret list

I wrote a few weeks ago about a bottle of hot sauce triggering memories of an old session. Today I had an equally unusually object trigger some fond kinky thoughts – my Garmin GPS system.

I have one of those portable GPS units you can stick on a windscreen. I find it easier to use than a phone when I’m driving. I think it covers the whole of North America but I’ve never really tested that, as the only place it ever gets used is Los Angeles. I know my way around Seattle, and in most other cities I stick to public transport and Lyft. LA is the only place I visit where a car is a necessity. That means its historical log of past locations only has LA addresses in it. And, given this is me we’re talking about, a lot of those addresses are LA dungeon spaces.

I was scrolling through it last night with a big smile on my face. They would have looked like random addresses to anyone else, but to me they were reminders of particular kinky experiences. There was the place in the valley I was almost an hour late to, thanks to LA traffic. Cynthia Stone’s old location. The very first place I met Mistress Lucy, as well as her new space. Several random spaces I only visited once. An odd apartment complex in downtown where I misread the parking signs and had my hire car towed. I guess that last one wasn’t such a great memory, but in general there were a lot of fun times captured in that old address list.

Anyone who has arranged a session with a pro-domme will know they guard their locations very carefully. You don’t get the address until you’ve been checked out and you’re about to meet them. I can therefore only hope my GPS unit never falls into the wrong hands. It’d be a goldmine for finding LA’s kinky hotspots.

It’s tricky to find a femdom image featuring a GPS theme, so instead here’s a shot of a pioneering and talented driver from a pre-GPS era. This is Genevra Delphine Mudge, widely considered to be the first female racing driver. She was also the first woman in the US to be issued with a drivers license.

Eyes bigger than your belly

The post title is a family expression from my childhood. It was used when someone had been greedy (i.e. me) and had loaded their dinner plate with more food than they could ultimately eat. I might have just done a similar thing in the kinky realm, although I’m not sure what the appropriate kinky equivalent would be. Libido bigger than your dick? Imagination writing checks your ass can’t cash?

I’m down in Los Angeles for a few days vacation. After a wet and relatively kink free Seattle winter, I wanted warmth and beatings. As is often the case when I travel, I was torn between playing with someone new and someone I know. Typically I like to play with people I know. Building a rapport with a domme over many sessions creates deeper and more intense experiences. It simplifies negotiation and makes it easier to relax and focus on the play, rather than trying to figure out a new dynamic. That said, there’s definitely something to be said for exploring new things with different people. It’s a great way to learn and grow. There’s no single right way to play, and I love watching how different dommes approach their craft.

So, as usual happens when I’m faced with a choice between A or B, I go with A and B. In fact, in this case it’s actually A and A and B and B. I’ve got 6 days vacation, 4 different sessions and 2 dommes. One with whom I’ve played multiple times in the past, and one who I’ve never met before. It’s very possible I’ve been excessively optimistic about my ability to take punishment. Particularly given my lack of match fitness these days. On the other hand, I can think of worse problems to have. If I don’t post here again, you can assume I died a happy man.

This gentleman doesn’t look all that happy, but he’s got cake and attractive attentive ladies. Not sure if his eyes were larger than his belly, but his dick certainly is. This is obviously by the talented Kami Tora.

Undesired desires

Metro recently published an interview with Goddess Avivia that made me laugh. For the most part it’s a pretty standard mainstream magazine interview with a pro-domme. That is to say, it’s generally positive with an minor undercurrent of sneering and sensationalism. It also has the requisite reference to submissions all being rich alpha types that always bugs me. The bit that made me laugh was this…

Most of my clients are privileged white men: 6-feet tall, fit, in their 30s, usually working in a high-powered position. These men are used to being in control, getting what they want and having women cater to their desires. It’s exciting for them to experience the polar opposite of their day-to-day.

As regular readers will be aware, I’m huge fan of pro-dommes and always enjoy playing with them. And I’m sure that Goddess Aviva is a lovely person and an excellent domme. However, I’m also pretty certain that all her 6 foot tall clients are getting exactly what they want and are still having a woman cater to their desire. That is, after all, what they pay for. It might be unusual to desire to be beaten or humiliated or peed on by an attractive woman, but it’s still a desire. Unless of course they have been prescribed invigorating beatings  for the good of their health, and really don’t enjoy them at all.

I understand what she’s getting at, but the wording did make me smile. I’ll leave you with an old image of Mistress Madeline apparently refusing to give her slave what he desires.

You should have seen the other guy

In keeping with the somewhat serious and extreme theme started in yesterday’s post, here’s an image from Empress Jennifer’s twitter feed that’s guaranteed to make every guy wince.

I’ve no idea if it’s a genuine shot from a ball-busting scene or not. It would seem crazy if it was, but I’ve learned that it’s a big wide world, and some people player harder than I can ever imagine. I remember one pro-domme telling me about a ball-busting scene she’d done where the skin on the client’s penis split and peeled back. Given I was naked, bound and very vulnerable at the time, it was a story that really that caught my attention. Her amazing follow-up comment was that the guy hadn’t wanted to stop. Erect and bloody, he wanted to keep the kicks coming. That’s a level of masochism I have trouble relating to. And for everyone out there now wondering what the hell they just read, I can only apologize for implanting that particular mental image.

So it’s come to this

This is, I swear, my last retrospective post to commemorate my 2000th post anniversary. If I’m not careful I’m going to be still writing about it when post 3000 rolls around. So normal service will be resumed tomorrow.

Until then, let me finish by sharing links to some of my favorite past posts. These are the ones I most enjoyed writing and I think best represent what I’m trying to do here. So here, in no particular order, is my top 10.

  1. The post ‘Reality and Physicality‘, featuring a quote from the book Neuromancer, captures a sensation from kinky play that I often experience, but haven’t seen described elsewhere. It also features some lovely shots of Domina Yuki.
  2. I’ve frequently posted on the silly stereotype that most submissive men have stressful high power jobs and like the chance to unwind in a dungeon (for example here). I think this particular post is the best rant I’ve managed to date on that.
  3. Stupid legal situations have been another good area for angry cathartic posts, particularly featuring the UK. This was the one that made me laugh the most.
  4. This post on Bob Flanagan wasn’t anything too special, but it did trigger one of the most interesting comments I’ve ever had (from scott Kelly).
  5. This post and it’s more constructive follow-up highlighted an issue in scene negotiation that has bitten me in the past. Hopefully they might have saved others from a similar situation.
  6. My posts obviously rely a lot on artwork created by others. This post had one of the cutest pieces, and also addressed an important issue.
  7. You can prove anything with statistics – including the fact that more people fantasize about being peed on that watched the 2014 World Series.
  8. Large tech companies doing stupid things with adult content is a frequent and significant problem. I thought this post on why that might happen presented a perspective on it that’s rarely heard.
  9. BDSM bloggers often write about pain in scenes, but less frequently address how stress can build up in play. I thought Accumulating Stress and it’s follow-up Relieving Stress were an interesting take on that.
  10. Being listed as a top sex blogger back in 2012 was nice, but even better was the chance to write this Colbert-esque acceptance piece.

For images I hunted back to find something that I really liked. Expressions and smiles have been a common theme and it seemed appropriate to repeat that. Not to mention some cool suspension rope bondage.

Past Play

I thought I’d continue my 2000th post celebration with a somewhat self-indulgent review of a few of my more interesting sessions over the years. The list below wasn’t necessarily chosen based on pure enjoyment – although some were definitely that – but more on memorable moments that stuck with me.

  1. There was the time I tried to beat a heavy cold through the healing power of BDSM. That didn’t work out too well.
  2. I’ve been decorated in a wide variety of ways over the years. A Victorian Christmas Tree with Lydia and a Tailors Dummy with Cynthia Stone stand out in my memory. The blood decorated plaster cast also by Cynthia rates an honorable mention.
  3. Lydia was always an expert with needles. I loved the beautiful design she did on my back in 2015. The session I nicknamed Gulliver’s Travels was also a really interesting use of needles and twine.
  4. The most unusual technique I’ve experienced was probably a Staple Zippering. I’ve never seen this done anywhere else and domme’s I’ve described it to tend to look at me like I’m crazy.
  5. It wasn’t all needles and surgical staples when playing with Lydia. There was the time I almost kicked her on the ankle. Fortunately, my sense of self-preservation kicked in just in time.
  6. I’ve had countless great sessions over the years and documented a few of them here. There’s only ever been one really bad session when things went sour. I wrote about that here and here. I never did play with that unnamed domme again.

I’ll finish with an image of my favorite domme indulging in one of my favorite activities – breathplay. Nothing pushes me more quickly into subspace than a domme playing with my oxygen supply.

5 Top Tips

As part of my 2000th post celebration I thought I’d share the top 5 things I’ve learnt about writing a kinky blog. If you’re thinking of starting your own, keep these in mind.

  1. Dominant women like submissive men. If you want to attract dominant women with your witty writing and thoughtful blog posts, don’t start a blog on the beauty of dominant women that features attractive female models in fetishistic outfits. Instead start one on submissive men featuring attractive male models wearing very little.
  2. A non-trivial fraction of people are stupid and that fraction includes kinky people. You will get strange emails and comments. My favorites are submissive guys asking me to dominate them or people leaving comments directed as questions to the model in the image I’ve featured.
  3. The life of a blog is inversely proportional to the length and frequency of its early posts. Any new blog starting with a flood of essay length posts will inevitably grind to a halt within a week or two.
  4. The amount of good porn is both small and finite. The amount of bad porn is seemingly infinite. Any finite number divided by infinity is as near to nothing as makes no odds, so in a random electronic sea of internet porn, the chances of finding good porn is therefore zero. Any good porn you do find is therefore merely the product of a deranged imagination.
  5. Only a fraction of your readers will leave comments or contact you. Only a fraction of kinky people will be your readers. Only a fraction of people are kinky people. In the big scheme of things, whatever you do will look small and ephemeral. Write therefore for yourself and because you enjoy it. And possibly because it gives you an excuse to look a lot of porn for ‘blog research’

Not sure who created this image originally, but clearly the product of a deranged imagination.

Post MM

This is my 2000th post. I find that fact astonishing. I launched the blog in September of 2010, exactly 2395 days ago. That means I’ve average a post roughly ever 28 hours for the last 6 or so years. Putting it another way, estimating the average post to take 45 minutes, and assuming a standard 40 hour work week, I’ve spent just over 37 weeks on the full time job of blogging. As jobs go, it’s certainly a satisfying one, although the salary of negative several hundred dollars a year could be better.

Thanks to everyone who has commented on the blog, emailed me, linked to me, written posts I’ve shared or published images I’ve used. Thanks in particular to all my readers. If nobody ever showed up, I doubt I’d have made it to 200 posts, let alone 2000. I hope I’ve added a little kinky happiness into people’s lives over the years.

I’ll probably do some more follow-up thoughts in a subsequent post. For the moment I’m just going to bask in the achievement of making it this far. For my 1000th post I featured the artwork of the talented Yumine Guo. Let me continue that tradition in post 2000. I’m feeling pretty pleased at making it this far, and here’s a lady looking equally happy with herself.

If you like Yumine’s work then consider support her Patreon.

Behind the fantasy

Courtesy of linking from Mistress T I found this article on the rewards and challenges of being both a sex worker and a parent. I’ll admit it doesn’t really have a femdom angle to it. However, this blog relies heavily on the fantasies that sex workers help create. I feature beautiful photographs of sex workers, articles by them and descriptions of amazing scenes they help create. I therefore always appreciate the chance to acknowledge and humanize the people behind the fantasy.

I’ll add an entirely anecdotal observation of my own to the story. A lot of the pro-dommes I’ve interacted with have been very caring people and very pro-animal. They’ve kept animals, or fostered animals, or volunteered at shelters or contributed (and encouraged others to contribute) to animal charities. Obviously this is based on a very limited data set, but it does seem to me that pro-dommes at least, tend to care about animals and their welfare far more than the average person on the street does.

Of course there are always exceptions. There’s one type of animal they tend to do some really horrible things to.

This artwork is of course by the great Sardax.