Seasons Beatings

I’ll take a brief break from talking about the morality and ethics of kinky activities, to plug a kinky Christmas party. It’s in LA on the 15th, at the beautiful Chi Temple, and features a bevy of fabulous dommes. I sadly can’t be there, but I’ve played privately with a number of the dommes involved, and I know them to be very fun and talented individuals. Plus, check out this photo. Not only did they get together for the promo shot, they got festive hats and appropriately color coordinated outfits. Now that’s professionalism.

See this link for more details on the party.

The Two Kinkster Problem

I’ve finally got time to get back to my post from last week entitled ‘Pick a Side‘. That was all about the morals and ethics of certain kinky activities. Is it reasonable to cast some kinks as wrong or bad, while falling back on the argument of ‘as long as its consensual adults, its OK’  for other kinks?

I got some interesting comments, which prompted me to think more on the issue, and come up with a thought experiment. Let’s call it ‘The Two Kinster problem.’

Mistress Mary and Submissive Sam, both risk aware consensual adult kinksters, enter their own deserted, well equipped private playspace and close the door behind them. An hour later they emerge sweaty, breathless and happy. They both tell you that they had a great time, and you ask them what they did. At this point, is there anything they can say that’ll make you think they did something ethically or morally wrong?

There’s obviously no incorrect answer. I’m just curious what answers or comments readers might have to the question.

When it comes to philosophical questions, I only know of one famous philosopher with a femdom connection  – Aristotle. I’ve covered the story of him and Phyllis previously. This particular image of them is by the French painter Étienne Jeaurat.

Intermission (continued)

Real life continues to get in the way of my blogging. It’s now 4am local time, and I really need to get to bed, but I also don’t like to leave it this long between posts. So I’m continuing the intermission concept with some more eye candy. This time it’s a beautiful piece of suspension bondage, shot by the photographer Weronika Bachleda. The rigger is Gestalta.

I found this via a tweet by Ruby Marks.

Intermission

I had intended to write some followup thoughts to yesterday’s post. Unfortunately, I ended up spending too long in the kitchen tonight. The chicken escabeche, roast potatoes and spicy arugula salad that resulted was well worth it, but I ran out of blogging time. I’ll therefore offer up this rather lovely artwork by way of an intermission. This is by the Spanish artist Anna Dart.

Update: Via a comment Ferns pointed out that this is actually based on a photograph of David and Victoria Beckham. Oddly enough, I  featured that original photograph in a post just over a year ago.

Pick a Side

Apologies if you’ve one of the tiny handful of people who follow me on twitter, as this post is going to be a rehash of a twitter rant I posted there recently. The tweets were an experiment to see if I could use twitter threads for thoughts longer than 280 characters, and if I’d get better engagement with them. The answers were respectively ‘not easily’ and ‘no’, so I think blog posts will remain my primary form of expression.

The rant in question was brought about by multiple social media arguments I’d seen on controversial kinky activities. Topics like race play, extreme age play, incest porn/roleplay and nazi outfits. All these arguments ultimately boiled down to two basic viewpoints. On one side was ‘as long as its consensual, adults can fantasize about anything’, on the other was ‘this activity has serious implications and you’re selfish/evil for treating it as way to get off’. I think both of those can be defensible opinions. What struck me as crazy was people flipping between the two depending how they felt about the topic in question.

The ‘as long as its consensual’ view is basically a get of jail free card. It’s a perspective that puts kinky play in its own little bubble, with no obvious relationship between what happens in the bubble and the outside world. If you believe it, then you can do a non-con sex roleplay, and not think you’re encouraging rape. Or beat someone and not spend any time wondering if you’re encouraging violence. That’s a valid viewpoint in my opinion, but it’s important to realize, it’s activity agnostic. You can’t logically claim your kinks live in a bubble where consent is all that matters, but arbitrary other kinks don’t.

On the other side, I think it’s also reasonable to argue that kinks very much interact with a broader social context. For example, one could discuss the intersection of race play and racism. However, if you’re going to do that, it means all kinks have to be considered in that context. That means a lot of kinks become potentially problematic, and require deeper analysis and justification. I typically don’t see anyone out there wanting to do that work for their personal favorite kinks.

In actuality, what consistently happens is that people play the ‘as long as its consensual’ card for their favorite kinks, and then try to withhold it when the activity in question gives them yucky feelings. Which seems broken to me. Either play the card consistently and let others do the same, or don’t play it at all.

In the femdom realm the combination of cross-dressing and humiliation is one of those controversial topics that can trigger a similar ‘consensual adults’ versus ‘this is wrong’ debate. The artwork here is by Voloh.

Spiky Submissive

Over the years I’ve poked fun at a fair number of domme outfits. This vintage photograph is one of the rare examples where the WTF factor is all about the submissive. I’d love to know what the thinking was behind the spikes. Shouldn’t it be the submissive in the predicament situation, not everyone around her? That rather striking domme is going to feel pretty silly if she stabs herself while trying to apply her flogger. Perhaps it’s designed as an all body chastity device? No matter how cute she might be, you can’t get close enough to enjoy any sort of intimate encounter.

According to this tweet, it’s from Studio Biederer around 1935.

Books, Ropes and Kisses

I’m not exactly sure what’s going on in this image, but I do know that it’s sexy as hell. Possibly a shot from a new kinky version of Cluedo? This’d be Mistress Green, in the library with the rope.

I suspect its from Dudes in Distress, a tumblr filled with plenty of hot bound dudes, but if it is, I haven’t managed to track down the original posting.

The Pleasure Revolution

The Guardian has an interesting article on female sexual pleasure featuring five women speaking out on the topic. It packs in a lot of complex issues, and left me wanting to hear more from everyone interviewed. From the perspective of this blog, the most relevant voice was the last one featured, that of Reba Maybury. The article labels her as a dominatrix, but she seems to be part performance artist, part political agitator and part pro-domme. It’s hard to tell from the article if kink is an intrinsic part of her life or just an interesting tool for exploring power dynamics and gender politics.

What struck me as particularly odd was this section…

A socialist of mixed-race background, Maybury only dominates white, preferably right-wing, men. “I can’t force myself to be even fictionally cruel to any other type of man. It makes the performance a lot easier,” she says. “I could never be mean to someone who wasn’t white, because the world is run by white men, isn’t it?”

To a kinky submissive person such as myself that seems …. odd. Her white, right-wing male clients will doubtless enjoy being dominated. That is after all why they reach out to her. I’m sure being called selfish, disgusting, misogynistic assholes is exactly what some of them desire. On the other hand, a non-white or left-wing man who would also enjoy being dominated, has to go without. So she meets the needs of those she dislikes and withholds it from those she supports. That doesn’t seem optimal.

I think it’s absolutely possible to mix kink and progressive politics. For example, as I covered here with Mistress Couple and the Trump voters. I also love the idea of Dominatrix Maybury getting her right wing submissives to help her create a book whose profits go to sex workers. That’s a fabulous concept. But as she recognizes at the end of the article, our kinks and our politics align in complex ways and they don’t necessarily influence each other. If you want to punish wealthy white conservatives, then maybe don’t beat or humiliate them if that’s what makes their dicks hard?

I’m not sure who this man voted for, but he’s a white guy in a suit, so there’s at least a chance he matches up with Reba Maybury’s criteria. The sexy bondage here comes courtesy of the TS Seduction site.

The little details

I had a very functional view of bondage when I was a neophyte kinkster. Adding anything that wasn’t being used to hold a limb in place was wasted time and effort. After all, what’s the point of wrapping up toes, fingers or torsos if you’re already immobilized?

Time and experience has taught me that there’s a lot of pleasure to be had in the little details. What was taken for granted suddenly becomes a point of focus. It’s all about the intimacy of control. A strange but hot combination of caring and objectification. Her focus makes my body important, but her actions reduce my sense of self. I must be just as she wants me, in every detail.

This image is from a tweet by Alchemical Seductress. She’s the headmistress of the Ritual Chamber in Toronto.

Minds Eye

This striking but rather unusual image is by Berlin based photographer Pitt Prickel and  features Madame Curie. He’s entitled it “Prayer: In My Mind’s Eye” and I came across it via his original tweet.

I like it but find it oddly unsettling. I can browse past beaten torsos, genitals full of needles and guys being pooped on without a raised eyebrow. Yet somehow a man with an eyeball head mask praying to a domme in a decaying urban space gives me pause. I think its the Lynchian juxtaposition of the familiar, the eerie and the surreal that make it work.