Tag: Pro-domme

Mommy Issues

It’s Mother’s Day in the US. That can mean only one thing: My social media feeds full of people leaning heavily into the mommy domme kink. While everyone else is figuring out where to get flowers and what spots are still open for brunch, kinksters are figuring out how to make it freaky.

I’m certainly not opposed to this. It can be a hot dynamic. I just find it odd how quickly this particularly one has moved from very niche to kinky mainstream. A decade or so ago, it was something I rarely saw outside of the handful of dommes who specialized in it. Now it seems to have become just another kink that people will casually lean into. Was there always pent up interest that wasn’t being addressed? Or has the internet’s tendency to normalize things created interest that wasn’t there before?

Whatever the answer to that, it does give me an excuse to feature someone who always maximizes mommy, whatever day it is. That’s NYC pro-domme Mistress Blunt. This year she’s even given a class on it (available online).

You can find more from Mistress Blunt via her Twitter feed and links page.

Session Time

Interesting thread here by Lady Vi on how she feels session time should be measured. In her view negotiation and aftercare is very much part of the scheduled session time, not something that happens outside it. She therefore always allows at least 15 minutes before the session ends for that aftercare and clean-up process.

Obviously every pro-domme runs her sessions how she sees fit. Totally not my place to suggest differently. However, I will make a few observations from my experience on the client side.

Firstly, while that approach is the most common one, it’s not entirely universal. I’ve sessioned with experienced dommes who used most of the booked time for play and let aftercare spill beyond that. They presumably built that fact into their schedules and their pricing structure.

Secondly, because there’s not a single approach, it can be confusing when playing with different dommes. My first domme used to play for almost all of the scheduled time, so I assumed that was the standard. I was confused and a little put out when I played with others and found that it wasn’t common. Of course I adjusted my expectations in time, but what a domme might have assumed was entitlement on my part was really just differing experiences.

Finally, there is the risk of feeling shortchanged if the aftercare period wraps up quicker than expected. Miss Grey makes this point in a tweeted reply. I’ve walked out of some sessions feeling buzzed, looked at my watch and realized there was theoretically 10+ minutes of session time left. That’s a quick way to lose the buzz.

Personally, I like the approach Miss Grey adopts. I’d rather pay a higher hourly rate and allow some flexibility on the time for aftercare. To draw a slightly odd analogy, I think of it a bit like the bonus dishes that a fine dining restaurant may send out. Logically, you know you’re still paying for them as part of the overall charge, but it creates a happy positive energy when you get them.

This shot of Miss Grey and friend is from her website. She’s an SF based pro-domme and disciplinarian.

More Hood

A lot of shots featuring hoods look terrible because they’re obviously just being used to conceal the submissive’s face. I get the logic of that but it typically ruins the image for me. It’s hard to enjoy  a kinky scene if one of the participants is embarrassed to be seen doing it.

This lovely image from Natalie Noir shows how a hood can be used whilst still making the shot work aesthetically and erotically. There’s a cohesive design to it that makes sense of the hood. I particularly love the little locks on the chin strap.

Natalie Noir is a Zurich based pro-domme. You can find her professional site here and her twitter feed here.

Making Plans

I’m planning a trip for later this year. That can mean only one thing: Endlessly scrolling though my social media feeds to remember/locate the pro-dommes I wanted to see in that city. If there was a definitive pro-domme directory then this wouldn’t be a problem. Unfortunately there isn’t and I’m stuck clicking through Twitter bio’s trying to figure out who is based where.

One other thing I’ve noticed about my planning process these days – I’m a lot more selective. Not that I did sessions with just anyone in the past. As I’ve written previously, I think my hit rate (ahem) in sessions with new domme’s is pretty good. But now I finding myself eliminating possibilities based on wacky capitalization or how high protocol someone seems to be. Makes me wonder if I’m increasing my chance of session success at the risk of missing interesting new experiences.

The image is Contessa Klaudia Keys, a pro-domme based in Montreal. Sadly, that’s nowhere near where I’m going. I think she’d be a fabulous person to play with.

Image was sourced via Contessa Keys Twitter feed.

A Murder of Dommes

I thought I was done with art themed posts for the moment, but then this popped up on my twitter feed and I couldn’t resist. Technically, it’s not a painting and it’s not hanging in a gallery, but it really should be. It has a lovely rich baroque feel to it.

You may recognize some of the domme’s involved. Based on the twitter comments I believe the primary instigator was Dia Dynasty, who stands center left. Other famous domme faces include Domina Yuki, Lucy Sweetkill, Neena De Ville, Goddess Aviva, Mistress Shayla Lange, Mistress Amalia Valentine, Mistress Victoria Robinson and Julia Flowerbomb.

I stole the post title from Domina Yuki’s retweet of the image. Although she also added that it include ‘one little goblin’, which I assume refers to Pain Puppy. Photograph was taken by Adrian Buckmaster.

More from the Fetish Archive

Technically I’ve no idea if this particular image is actually in the UK’s Leather and Fetish Archive. It’s by the photographer Natasha Gornik, who has contributed an archived collection to them. If it’s not part of that collection then they’re missing out, as it’s a lovely image. It really captures the mood of playful afternoon session.

I believe the domme is NYC’s Mistress Blunt. If you’d like to see more of Natasha Gornik’s fabulous photographs – with lots of the NYC kink scene – they’re available at her site. In particularly check out Good Soup and Community. It’s fun spotting a lot of well known NYC faces (or hands in some cases), a good number of whom have now retired.

Fetish Archive

Dazed magazine has a nice article on the UK Leather and Fetish Archive. Housed in London, it has over 70 different donated collections, covering a variety of kinks and sexualities from the last hundred or so years. I’d love to get chance to browse it, but unfortunately you need to be in London to do so. Maybe I should donate an archive of this site when I finally decide to shut it down?

One of the collections was donated by Eva Oh and includes this illustration of her by Sardax.

Album Covers

I’ve been enjoying a recent Twitter thread on pictures that could be album covers. A number of dommes have responded with some excellent suggestions. For example, this from Thea X, this from Mx Tomie and this from Violeta Felix.

I’ve picked out two of my personal favorites to feature here. The first is from Lily Kasai, a NYC based pro-domme. The second is from Muse Naadia, an LA based pro-domme. Eat your heart out Roxy Music. These are much cooler and sexier than even your best efforts.

Bye Bye Max?

Max Fisch appears to have dropped off the net. It’s been flaky for years, but one has to wonder if this is the final goodbye.

For those that don’t know what I’m talking about- Max Fisch is (was?) one of the longest running Femdom forum sites and Domina directories. It first showed up back in the 1990’s and for years was  one of the primary sites for pro-domme information and discussion. Sadly, like a lot of these sites, social media sucked away a lot of the potential users and the admins and moderators lost interest in maintaining it.

The loss of internet forum culture to a few huge social media companies is a great shame in my view. It’s not that the quality of the debate was particularly great on the forums – online people are the same all over. But the forum’s were more focused, the conversations longer and the posts were both durable and searchable. You could post a review of a session and another user would be able to find it years later. Good luck doing that on Twitter. You also didn’t have to deal with all the algorithmically driven rage-bait garbage the social media sites throw out you.

Of course there’s nothing technically stopping someone running a femdom forum today. The problem is getting to critical mass when so many of the casual users gravitate to social media.  It’s hard for simple web base forums to compete with thousand of social engineers doing whatever they can to drive more swipes on a media feed.

If you’re like me and find the history of femdom and internet culture fascinating, using the wayback machine to browse old domme site can be a great way to kill a lot of time. For example, looking at the very first capture of Max’s domme listing from 1999, I spotted a link to the famous Ilsa Strix. That in turn led me to her archived site and old interviews with her. You can even still find her original contact protocol.

A Day with Countess Diamond

A day with a domme is a cheap way for publications to get some interesting and titillating content. They can often come across as mocking or poking fun at ‘weird’ kinks.

However, this Vice article by Eloise Hendy is one of the better examples I’ve seen. It features Countess Diamond and really captures some of the key components and dynamics of a professional session. I particularly like how it highlights the tenderness and thoughtfulness that experienced dommes can blend in amongst all the ball kicking and penis slapping. It also captures the arc of a well structured session, from the initial chat through to the aftercare. The only weird bit in it is the post-aftercare game of crazy golf. That’s definitely not a typical session experience.

This is a shot of Countess Diamond, source via her twitter feed. If you’re in London and interested in seeing her person, you can find her professional site here.