The beauty of dominant women
This advertising image is odd, but weirdly hot. Not exactly sure what’s supposed to be going on – he’s sketching her shoes and she’s mad about it? Whatever the supposed scenario, it somehow works for me.
It’s from a 2010 Nordstrom advertising campaign by Ruben Toledo.
For submissives who primarily play with pro-dommes, where is the best place in the world to live? Setting aside existing relationships – assume we’re talking about a newly minted fresh faced submissive with no history or experience – what location offers the greatest possibilities?
Having just returned from the UK, I think my answer would probably be London. Obviously, like other great cities such as New York or Tokyo, it’s home to a large number of talented pro-dommes and plays host to a lot of visiting dommes. If you want to turn a kinky session into a day trip, then dommes in places like Paris, Manchester, Birmingham and most of the South of England are options. Make it into a long weekend, and suddenly cities like Berlin, Stuttgart, Amsterdam, Edinburgh and Glasgow are all possibilities. On top of this, the UK sex work laws are less stupid than the US (while still being very stupid), and social attitudes to kink tend to be relatively liberal. It’s not perfect, but on balance I think it might just be the best place to be a kinky person in the professional scene.
Obviously quality always beats quantity, and you could have a fabulous D/s relationship with someone while living in a tiny hamlet that’s miles from anywhere. But chemistry is important whether a relationship is professional or lifestyle, and the more people you have to meet, the better your odds of finding that elusive fizzy reaction.
This is Lola Ruin, a Manchester based pro-domme. She’s about a two hour train journey from London. Not exactly a quick trip, but still faster than jetting between major cities in the US. The image is from her twitter feed.
I’ve seen chastity keys incorporated into necklaces and anklets, but never as jewelry for hair. I’m personally a sucker for long hair, so I think this shot from Mistress Couple is super cute. While I’d never normally want my kinks to leak into public scenes, I’d probably make an exception for something as subtle and sexy as this.
I’m writing this midway between Washington State and the United Kingdom. Below me is 30,000 feet of air, a jet plane and a sore bottom, in that order. The former is courtesy of Boeing, the latter courtesy of Adreena Angela and her cane. There are as many different approaches to femdom as there are dommes, but one thing is always consistent: If you session just before you fly, expect a caning.
Playing with Mistress Adreena proved to be a great way to both start and finish my UK trip. It was ridiculously hot for my final days in London, making everything very sweaty and sticky. Normally that would be a bad thing, but in certain situations and with the right set of kinks, it can actually be a bonus. I love scent play, so having her damp armpit smooshed into my face was a little slice of sweaty heaven. Mistress Adreena was also careful to keep us both thoroughly hydrated, although my liquids came to me via an indirect and secondhand route.
If you’re interested in scheduling a session, Mistress Adreena’s professional site is available here. At the time of writing, twitter has somehow managed to screw-up her account, but her instagram is available here (source for the above picture).
Returning to London for a few days has given me the opportunity to sneak some more kink into the last part of my vacation. Specifically I was lucky enough to set-up a fabulous session with Domina Emilia.
The session was an unusual one for me, as we did a cuckold themed roleplay. I almost never do roleplaying in sessions, but it seemed quite natural and easy to slip into it with Domina Emilia. I think a big part of that was down to the very organized pre-session communication that she did over email, helping set the scene, explore the hot buttons and give appropriate jumping off points. I’ve always found the tease and denial aspects of cuckolding to be very exciting, but never thought it was a good fit for me in a professional dynamic. Domina Emilia showed I was wrong about that, and that the fantasy could be brilliantly spun in the constraints of a time limited session.
The session also featured another first for me – use of audio/video aids. They were very cleverly incorporated to aid the fantasy and set the mood. It made me curious about they could be used more as tools in sessions. Often we think about audio and video as a substitute for physical encounters, but why not play with the combination of them? Kinky play is a type of interactive theater, so why not make got a step further into a mixed media art form?
This image of Domina Emilia is from her twitter feed. If you’re interested in sessions in the London area then I’d absolutely recommend contacting her. I think she’d be a fabulous person to get to know and play more with.
The family part of my trip has ended and I’ve headed North to meet up with some friends who have flown in from the US. Specifically I’m in Glasgow (just for a day) and then then Western coast of the Scottish lowlands. It has been an eye opening experience. Or, more accurately, an ear opening experience. I never realized just how sexy the Scottish accent is. I’ll talk to random people in restaurants and shops and be captivated by it. I’m usually a quiet introvert, but I find myself chatting to people more just because their accent is so damn attractive.
My social schedule and limited time in Glasgow has prevented me from setting up any kinky encounters, which I’m now deeply regretting. There are a lot of talented dommes here I’d love to spend time with. Miss Marilyn is one of them, and you can hear her fabulous accent in the video series she’s doing for the BBC on kink. I covered the first one in a past post here and you can hear the second video here.
This image is from Miss Marilyn’s twitter feed. Her professional site for scheduling sessions is here.
Combing a perverted lifestyle with electronic devices and an extended family visit can have its problems. You never know when some random notification or lurking browser window is going to appear on screen at an unfortunate moment. It’s particularly tricky when you’re used to living alone and browsing random filth whenever you feel like it. Several times I’ve found myself absent-mindedly firing up twitter while hanging out with elderly family members, which isn’t good when 90% of your twitter feed is kink.
My closest call so far was a scenario that never cross my mind as being dangerous – linking my phone to the hire car I have. I was taking my Mom somewhere and we wanted to call someone. So I paired my phone over bluetooth and impatiently pressed yes, yes, yes to all the prompts. One of which was related to importing contacts. I then start scrolling the list to find the family member we want to call. Unfortunately my contacts are full of women’s names that my Mom has never heard me mention. Many of them beginning with things like Mistress, Domina or Madame. All this is coming up on the big touch screen in the center of the car. It was lucky we were stationary at the time, otherwise I might have crashed into the nearest hedge. I muttered something about internet email spam and killed it quickly, but I’ve no idea if she missed the details or decided she’d much rather not know them.
This is Mistress Mara Mayhem, one of the dommes in my contacts. The good news is that she’s listed simply by name, with no D/s title. The bad news is that it’s the kind of unique name liable to attract attention and curiosity if it’s ever spotted. Hopefully my Mom didn’t catch it or think to Google it.
Mistress Mara is based in Chicago and if you’d like to session with her there, her professional site is here.
This shot from Lady Pim is very cute and sexy. It has a lovely contrast between the sensual and the harsh.
As a personal aside, I do find it weird how things I don’t like in sessions can still continue to appeal to me visually. Blindfolds like this one are a good example. Enemas are another. Both of those are on my ‘meh’ list for kinky activities. Yet I still like the idea of them a lot.
I get how the idea of something can be exciting, but the reality of it disappointing when tried in play. That’s a fairly normal thing to happen. But how does the idea remain exciting beyond that? Somehow the reality never intrudes into the theoretical sexual fantasy.
Lady Pim is a Toronto based domme and her site for professional sessions can be found here.
This New York Post article on a domme class for Manhattan women to up their dating game is a strange one. On one hand I’m all in favor of encouraging more interest in femdom and people learning new kinky skills. On the other, it seems very mercenary and calculating, and not in deliberate findom type way. Learning to top so you can match the fantasies of a rich guy and hence convince him to marry you seems like the opposite of female empowerment. But maybe I’m being too sensitive about the whole thing.
This is a screen shot from the show Billions (mentioned here previously). With Maggie Siff playing the partner and domme to Paul Giamatti’s Manhattan power player, it’s cited in the Post article as inspiration for the kinky curious.
My UK trip has migrated north, from partying in London to spending time with family in Warwickshire. My opportunities for kink have thus been temporarily curtailed. However, before I left London, I was lucky enough to meet and play with Mistress Adreena Angela.
One of the great things about Twitter is being able to get a sense of someone before you meet them. It’s obviously an imperfect and distorted view, but it has sometimes helped me figure out who I might connect well with. From Mistress Adreena’s feed I got the impression of someone who played with a positive energy and enjoyed tease, denial and the wonderful frustration of intimacy that’s so near…yet so far away. Those are dynamics I love, particularly when mixed with a side-order of sadism, and the result was a great first session together.
One particularly enjoyable element was her use of extended eye contact. A lot of dommes use this to some extent, but I’ve never played with one who pushes it as hard as Mistress Adreena does. I’m sure it helps that she has absolutely gorgeous eyes. With my adrenaline and endorphins flowing, it was easy to temporarily lose my sense of self in her gaze. In normal circumstances I’d get embarrassed or shy and look away, but ironically the act of submission actually makes it easier for me to maintain eye contact. It changes a challenge into an acceptance.
This shot of Mistress Adreena shows off those beautiful eyes as well as some of her equally impressive tattoos. For sessions she plays out of her own well equipped space in London. If you’re interested in a professional session then her site with the contact process is here.