F – Page 12 – Femdom Resource

Mood Killer

A week or so ago I wrote a couple of posts on happy memories of dialog and sound effects from past sessions. I thought it’d be interesting to follow those up with a verbal interaction that didn’t go so well. This example is from a few years back. It’s rare that I have a bad memory of a session but this particular moment has stuck in my mind, partly because it seems so trivial. Odd for a small thing to make such a big difference to a dynamic.

It was my first session with this particular domme and part of it involved a whipping scene. I’m generally not a fan of doing whipping with someone I don’t know well, as the intensity levels can vary dramatically and it requires a certain amount of trust to relax into the headspace. However, I am a fan of being flexible and open to how a domme wants to compose a session, and so as long as it’s not a hard limit, I tend to go with the flow.

She had me tied facing a wall and the warm up period was relatively short. That already meant we had two strikes working against us. Not being able to see a domme, particularly when I’m playing with someone I don’t know well, always makes a scene harder. The pain becomes disconnected from the dynamic and simply becomes something to tolerate, rather than being channeled through my desire.

It wasn’t the most intense whipping I ever received, but it certainly wasn’t light. By the time we’d finished I was feeling pretty proud of myself for taking it all. At which point the domme said “Hmmm. Not bad I suppose. For a first attempt.”

That comment totally drained the energy out of the scene for me. Maybe it was intended as a combination of compliment and encouragement, but it had the opposite result. I felt like the scene had been set-up for failure, I’d powered through to make it work, and yet couldn’t even get a ‘Good Boy’ out of her. We didn’t play together again.

As I said at the start, it was a trivial thing. I’m sure the domme didn’t think anything of it. Yet for me, with the endorphins churning in the heightened emotions of subspace, it was a mood killer that I remember years later.

This is very much not the domme in question. Both her whip and her smile are a lot bigger than in my scene. I believe this is Mistress Ama K from the Latin Beauties in High Heels site. I’m not aware of a personal site for her.

Online Skills

Yesterday’s post had me angsty with not having played recently. For me it’s mainly a sense of frustration. For sex workers the current situation is obviously a much more serious one. Daddy An Li was featured in a KQED recent article talking about how she’s been dealing with it. I was kind of surprised to read this comment…

Also, An Li said many of her clients are older men. “They’re a little bit more reticent to learning online skills,” she said. “Which is fine. At some point, they’re going to have to learn depending on how long this quarantine situation goes on for.”

That a lot of her clients are older men isn’t surprising, but the lack of online skills certainly is. Isn’t everyone savvy with skyping, zooming and messaging these days? Even my parents – both in their mid-70’s – can set-up video conferencing now, and that’s just to chat about gardening and the weather. I’d assume the idea of a kinky online session with An Li would be far more motivating to a frustrated older gentleman client.

This image is from this blog post where An Li talks about some of the options she offers during the present coronavirus crisis. You can also follow her on twitter.

Shiny!

I went for a drive today. There’s only so long I can stand staring at the same view. I figured if I could combine a grocery run with a spin around Lake Washington it’d count for practical and mental health purposes. Plus, I was socially distancing myself from people very effectively at many mph.

The image below is Natalie Mars, looking particularly fabulous in a shiny latex catsuit and with her own bike. There’s something very sexy about a woman on a motorcycle, particularly a fast sports bike like this one. It’s a heady blend of power, control and risk. A modern car coddles its driver, automating almost everything. In contrast, there’s no hiding on a bike. It’s the rider versus the world.

Image is from this tweet, photographed by Tom Moore.

Honor Blackman

I was sad to read of the passing of Honor Blackman. I’m sure for a good number of my readers her role as the powerful leather clad Cathy Gale was a big influence on their early femdom fantasies. The original Avengers series was way before my time, but I remember catching re-runs in the 80’s and being captivated by her. Seeing her as the feisty but ludicrously named Pussy Galore in Goldfinger created a similar reaction.

I was originally going to feature a photograph of her in the classic Avengers leather suit. Then I stumbled on the beautiful shot below. Thanks for everything Honor.

Prepaying

While I’m on the subject of the coronavirus – as I just was – I’ve seen an excellent suggestion pop-up on social media: Prepaying for a session. Cash flow is obviously going to be a challenge for a lot of pro-dommes and other sex workers over the coming weeks. If you’re income is relatively secure, and have someone you regularly session with or have been planning to session with, why not offer to pay now for a session to be taken later?

It’s a win-win scenario. The domme gets the cash at a time when it’s most useful. You get the warm fuzzy feeling of helping out, plus something to look forward to when all this madness ends.

This is the London based Mistress Evilyne. It’s an old shot, obviously taken before the days of social distancing, where the worst things in a crowded tube train where the heat, the smell and the risk of accidentally making eye contact with someone. Mistress Evilyne (twitter here) has an excellent value OnlyFans feed and will happily accept prepaying for sessions.

Home Alone Again

I’m back in Seattle. Safe and sound, as far as I can tell. Several weeks of staying at home, cooking lots of food for myself and drinking wine lie ahead. So basically, business as usual. It was weird being on vacation and hearing from all my friends getting stressed about social isolation and quarantine in Seattle. It was like preparing for a particular race your whole life, and then discovering they decided to start it while you were out of town. The one time my normal introverted lifestyle would have been useful, and I was hanging out in airport departure lounges.

Before I left San Francisco I was fortunate enough to do a couple of great sessions with Penny Barber. I’ve written here in the past about my approach of doing a variety of different sessions when I travel, and this trip further proved the wisdom of that. Although the activities we explored were ones I’ve done many times before, Penny’s style was very unique and fun, with a beautiful blend of sadism/sensuality, tease/denial and caring/cruelty. She did a wonderful job of pushing my buttons around kinky contrasts. Add in some excellently executed roleplay (or her part) and a well equipped playspace to explore it in, and you’ve got the recipe for a great way to spend an afternoon while the world outside falls apart.

One new experience for me was doing a golden shower in a full and warm bathtub. I’ve done plenty of showers on the floor of cold bathrooms and empty tubs, but none where I’m lying back and relaxing in the warmth of a proper bath. It’s actually a brilliant approach by Penny. Golden showers might start off as hot (all in senses of the word), but quickly get very chilly and damp. Doing it in a hot bath totally solves that problem. Plus, cleaning up afterwards is quick and easy . Genius!

This rather stunning selfie was taken by Penny just before our first session together and posted to her twitter feed. If you’re interested in doing in person sessions with her, then this is her professional site.

Penny also creates a lot of movies with some pretty kinky and taboo themes (e.g. ageplay, incest, ABDL, mommy domme, etc.) . If that sounds like you’re kind of thing, then she has a clips store here, an OnlyFans site here and a media site here. Or just follow her twitter feed, which feature links to a lot of her content.

Hanging on the Telephone

Here’s a final post in my short series on making connections with pro-dommes in the pre-internet era. This is a photograph of what I’m sure was the expectation/hope in every submissive’s mind when he plucked a card from a phonebox and got up the nerve to dial (quite literally) the number. A fabulous domme clad in full fetish gear, whip in hand, just waiting for his call. That’s very different to today of course, where the submissive assumes the domme will be checking her email, while clad in full fetish gear, whip in hand, just waiting for his message.

I’m afraid I don’t have any background on the image. I found it via this tweet by mrunderheel. I’d guess it’s from the late 70’s or early 80’s.

Phonebox Cards

Finding a pro-domme in the pre-internet days was a little trickier than doing a simple web search or browsing twitter. Advertising options were a lot more limited and everybody had to work harder to make contact. In London through the 80’s and 90’s, one common mechanism was to put advertising cards in phoneboxes. The image below is a collection of these cards from Mistress Electra Amore. They’re clearly from a mid to late 90’s era, as a few do have web site addresses on them.

If I’d been brave enough to go looking for someone back in my early 20’s then Mistress Cleopatra (or Cleo-Patra?) would certainly have caught my eye. Of course a blurry photograph on a small card is no guarantee of who you were eventually going to meet. These days most pro-dommes have dozens of professionally taken photographs on their sites, along with social media feeds packed with selfies and candid shots. I almost never hear of bait and switch tactics being employed. I’d guess they were a lot more common 20 or 30 years ago.

Stupid Dick

I have to admit that yesterday’s post ‘The Bug‘ was written from a personal perspective. I’m currently down in San Francisco enjoying some kinky fun. It was a trip I arranged in January, before the extent of the COVID-19 issue in the US was clear. I debated cancelling it, but I figured if I take proper precautions then staying on my own in a hotel room was really no different to staying on my own in my condo. So here I am, with very chapped and dried hands from the frequent washing.

I was very happy to start my trip by meeting up with Domina Yuki. She’s an amazing domme who I’ve known for years and is always the first person I reach out to when returning to the Bay area. We had a fabulous session, with much tease, torment and predicament play. A couple of photographs were snapped, so hopefully I can share those in a future post.

One particularly interesting moment in the session occurred when we were playing with a Kali’s teeth device. I’ve experienced these devices before, although this one was narrower and tighter than I’m used to. The typical reaction to them goes in a cycle. They don’t hurt going on, but arousal leads to pain. That’s a hot thing for a masochist, so the excitement increases in a feedback loop until the pain peaks and becomes too much. That diminishes arousal, putting me into a slowly cycling equilibrium. Stimulus balances against pain, with the domme tilting the balance as she sees fit.

What was strange today is that we hit that hit that tipping point of pain, and my stupid dick just kept on going (and growing). It was like a chain reaction that was out of control. My brain was at the point of “OK. That really hurts. Not so hot anymore” and the dick was “Nu-huh. We’re keeping this party going.” It was genuinely weird. I’ve made plenty of jokes in the past about my dick having a mind of its own, but this was the first time it actually felt like that. It was also the first time I’ve actively tried to think unsexy thoughts during a session, which is frankly quite the challenge when Domina Yuki is in the same room.

This image of Domina Yuki from her website should give some idea of the challenge involved of unsexy thoughts when doing a session with her. You can follow her here on twitter or enjoy exclusive content via her AVN stars feed.

Rebecca Ferguson

A final image in my sequence of posts featuring smartly dressed people. The image below is Rebecca Ferguson from the Mission Impossible movie Rogue Nation. I’ve not actually seen the movie, but now I kind of want to. I was very tempted to feature this alternative shot of her beating people up while Tom Cruise is tied up. That looks like a fun scene.

I’ve done plenty of scenes with very smartly dressed dommes, but I don’t think I’ve ever done one with the domme in a suit and a tie. I might have to add that to my bucket list. It’s one of those looks that provokes an anticipatory shiver.