Edge-o-Matic 3000

I think it’s been pretty clearly established that mixing high-tech with a chastity device isn’t always the best idea in the world.  However, that doesn’t mean mixing technology, kink and sex is always a bad idea. For example, these NoGasm and Edge-o-Matic 3000 devices featured here seem like interesting concepts to explore.

From what I can gather – not having tried the devices – they’re automated edging devices. A sensor in a butt plug is used to detect contraction in the pelvic floor, which in turn is used to turn off stimulation via a vibrator. It seems like a neat approach. Speaking for myself, I can never get close to orgasm with clenching those pelvic muscles, so I’d imagine it’d be fairly effective. Also, unlike the Bluetooth chastity devices, it seems pretty safe and unlikely to require a trip to the local ER to remove it. The Edge-o-Matic does include WiFi support for remote control, but the worst a hacker could do would be to mess with your orgasm via the vibrator speed. Demanding money in return for making a vibrator go faster isn’t quite the same as ransoming off the keys to someone’s chastity device.

The main issue I see is that it only appears to work with a fairly basic vibrator + magic wand accessories. I think it’d be a lot more compelling if it interfaced to something like a Tremblr Milking machine or a Venus device. That’d give more intense sensations, which would lead to a really compelling edging/ruining experience. From the bottom of this page, it sounds like those interfaces might be in the works.

If anyone has tried one of these, I’d love to hear your thoughts on it. If you’re interested in purchasing one then the source is Maus-Tec and the creator has a twitter thread on it here.

Of course, it’s always hard to beat the personal touch when it comes to edging and ruining orgasms. This is Sasha Foxxx – an expert at the art – shooting for Marks Head Bobbers and Hand Jobbers. I believe this image is from this specific clip.

Shifting the Blame

In the ‘food for thought’ category of articles comes this one from the Guardian – Rough sex excuse in women’s deaths is variation of ‘crime of passion’. It addresses the growing use of BDSM as an excuse/defense by men when tried for killing women, based on a study by Prof Elizabeth Yardley. It’s not exactly the kind of BDSM article I usually feature here, but I think it’s an important issue for all kinky people to be aware of.

My limited reading of a few of the cases involved suggested a couple of things to me. Firstly, that the men involved were all monsters and deserved to be jailed for a very long time. Secondly, what they were doing looked nothing like BDSM as practiced by regular kinky people. It seems like violent abuse with rough sex gone wrong tacked on at the end as an excuse. I therefore found this somewhat odd…

She concluded that the normalisation of BDSM “has enabled abusers to justify and excuse fatal violence against women using formal sex equality and women’s liberation against them”.

The problem to me doesn’t look like the normalization of BDSM, but the acceptance by the courts that this behavior is a form of it and that this in turn acts as mitigation. BDSM wasn’t a gateway to their behavior. It appears to be a fig leaf hastily grabbed after the fact. Consensual kink has always been with us. So, sadly, has domestic violence. We clearly shouldn’t let the recognition of the former be twisted into an excuse for the assholes guilty of the latter. By way of analogy, the normalization of motor sports doesn’t provide an excuse for someone causing a fatal accident when driving at 90mph through a school zone.

Long prison sentences are clearly deserved for anyone guilty of domestic violence. Although another potential direction to adopt would be shorten a few things.

I’m not sure who the artist of this piece is. It has some similarities with work by Juan Payal and Stig, but I don’t believe it’s either of them.

Service Submissive

The Femdom world is replete with stories of service slaves who fail miserable at their chosen role. These stories all play out in much the same way. Domme engages slave for cleaning, polishing, organizing, etc. Slave does a terrible job unless constantly micro-managed by domme via kinky roleplay. Slave is more trouble than he’s worth and gets dismissed. Domme swears off engaging any slaves for service in future.

Of course, there are always exceptions. For example, this article in Elle magazine – ‘I Hired A Gimp To Clean My Apartment‘ – plays out slightly differently. From the opening paragraphs it seems set for disaster. It features two inexperienced young dommes, an investment banker, and no clear sense that anyone knows what they’re doing or how to negotiate a BDSM dynamic. Yet oddly it doesn’t end with angry recriminations or the investment banker in hospital. While the writer never grows to love her role, it seems her flatmate is more than happy to take charge. So maybe the answer to successfully managing a service submissive is getting a service domme to manage them for you.

Personally, I’ve no desire to clean, tidy or polish. That’s definitely not my skillset. However, I think I’d make an excellent kitchen submissive. I can prep, cook and pour wine with the best of them.

Lots of Leather

One of things I’ve really missed this year is travelling to NYC and playing with Troy Orleans and Mistress Tess. As well as both being fabulous dommes, they’re also voracious collectors of equipment and fetish gear. I’ve had some really intense experiences with them and their collections over the years. For example, this scene and this with Mistress Tess. This scene and this with Troy.

While stuck at home I’ve had to get my kink equipment kicks second hand and online. One of the best sources for that is Mistress Hinako, who has some amazing gear. She recently shared the image below (via this tweet), after a new delivery of leather toys. I don’t particularly have a leather fetish, but I do love this setup. Harsh, immobilizing but also richly sensual. Just the kind of freaky fun I’m craving right now.

If you’d like to see more from Mistress Hinako, she has an OnlyFans here. You can find her twitter here and her professional site here.

Relief

This week has been the political equivalent of a very extended edging scene. Four days of national blue balls, with the ballot counts offering a lot of tease and denial. Fortunately it ended with relief all around and not a ruin. Now we get to watch another scene equivalent play out – a two month long public humiliation.  At the end of a terrible year, this could be just the happy ending we all need.

This image isn’t exactly an edging scene, but it does remind me of a famous political quote typically attributed to Theodore Roosevelt: ‘If you’ve got them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow. ‘ Hopefully the new President can do some metaphorical grabbing in the coming months.

I believe this is from the site femaledom.com.

Mistress Blunt and her Former Submissive

Mistress Blunt is continuing to produce some really top quality blog content. I previously featured her interview with her finsub, and she has now published a lengthy new interview with her former submissive Emmy. It’s very sweet and thoughtful. I loved this little exchange in it…

Emmy: …. So service in a D/s relationship… I do have this innate thing as a submissive of really enjoying being a support, or a pillar in somebody’s success and wellbeing. It’s both sexy and personally fulfilling. Whenever I was serving, especially cleaning and taking care of your space, I could fall into a meditative state, very similar to yoga. I would go through a flow in your house.

Mistress Blunt: I will say I would love to come back and see you napping. I’d come back, and you weren’t allowed on the bed or the furniture. So, you’d be curled up on the sheep skin like a little angel. I was just like, “My little heart.”

You can go read the whole thing here. I think it’s well worth it.

This is Mistress Blunt with Emmy Lewis, in a photograph from the interview.

Mistress Blunt is an NYC based pro-domme. You can find her professional site here, her twitter feed here and more from her blog here.

Emmy Lewis a NYC based pro-switch. You can find her professional site here and her twitter feed here.

Stress

I probably didn’t pick the best week to schedule a bunch of job interviews. Combining those with the US elections has put some major pressure on my stress level. Hopefully I can make it to the weekend without a cardiac arrest.

As a stress reliever, I did enjoy some audiovisual candy in the form of a video – My Bloody Valentine by Machine Gun Kelly. It’s silly pop nonsense, with attractive people bouncing around and indulging in some light kinky fun. It features Megan Fox doing some tease and denial, which is just what I needed to get my mind off Wisconsin voting and questions about intra-team conflict resolution.

My thanks to blog reader Gary for the pointer to this.

Big Day

Warning: This post focuses on politics, a topic I usually avoid here. I’m granting myself a rare exception in unusual circumstances. Normal service will be resumed shortly.

America is choosing it’s next president. As elections go, it’s kind of a big one. As a newly minted American citizen, I got to vote for the first time. I can’t say I got all emotional over it, but it did at least feel like an important rite of passage. Thanks to the weirdness of the electoral college, it probably won’t count for anything, but I at least did my bit.

I think this is the point where I’m supposed to urge my readers to go out and vote. Which, if you’re a Biden support, I absolutely urge you to do. Particularly if you’re in a swing state. If you’re thinking of voting for Trump, then my suggestion to you is best summarized by Bill Hicks and his views on Marketing. Seriously though. You are Satan’s little helpers.

At this point it’s not even a left vs right thing. It’s a basic question of character, competence and human decency. I can respect a right wing political view, even if I disagree with it, but Trump is something totally different. Something from a horror movie. Don’t make me regret adopting this country as my home.

To connect back to this blogs purported theme – let me direct you to this Rolling Stones article on pro-dommes encouraging their clients to vote Blue.  The story even made it into Colbert’s monologue. They’re probably not going to swing the election, but every little helps.

This is one of the domme’s featured in the Rolling Stone article – Mistress Orion. She’s an NYC based pro-domme. You can find her twitter feed here and her OnlyFans here.

Spooky Time

This is traditionally the time of the year when my social media feeds are full of kinky people in spooky outfits. I’m on record as not being a fan of Halloween, but I do enjoy the costumes. Sadly this year has been somewhat lacking in that regard. Not sure if that’s due to a Covid related lack of parties or if the upcoming US election has put too much stress on everyone.

While there might have been less Halloween dress-up overall, that doesn’t mean there haven’t been some great examples. My favorite is probably the shot below from Maya Midnight. It’s doesn’t feature a complicated outfit or fancy special effects, but it is a wonderfully moody and atmospheric shot. That’s the kind of Halloween I could get into.

Ms. Maya Midnight is a NYC based pro-domme. You can find her professional site here.

Public Play Concluded

Here’s my final post (for the moment) on the topic of public play.

One hard and bright line that’s often invoked is based on the idea of consent. Involving random strangers in your play without their consent is clearly violating some pretty basic BDSM norms. That’s a relatively easy call to make when it comes to physical or psychological involvement. If you’re getting off on strangers getting upset, then you’re getting off by violating their consent. A clear asshole move. But what happens when that’s not your intent, but people get upset anyway? At what point do you need to seek consent from someone?

This isn’t specifically a problem for kinky people. I was reminded of that when I spotted this story on some very well done but very gory Halloween decorations. As a kid, that front lawn scene would have traumatized the fuck out of me. I’d have had nightmares for months. Even now I find it unpleasant to look at closely. So at what point should that home owning Halloween fan have to seek the consent of his neighborhood? Or indeed the consent of anyone who might come down the public street outside his house? At what point should we constrain public freedom of expression? It clearly has to happen at some point, because there will always be someone who pushes a boundary to the breaking point.

I guess my bottom line is: Be wary of blanket statements or simple rules when it comes to public play. It’s always dependent on context and content. I think the leash scene from my original post was over the line, but the scene in the images in yesterdays post is completely fine. Yet it’s very hard to come up with a simple easily applied rule that separates the two.

This photograph represents the kind of ‘public’ play I could get behind. The feel of being outside and exposed, but a big closed door to keep the rest of the world out.