Playing Again

This twitter thread, started by Troy Orleans, has some excellent information on how kinky play could begin again in a Covid-19 world. It’s primarily thoughts from professionals, but I think there’s some equally valid advice for anyone playing beyond their circle of quarantine.

I personally think it’d be really weird to play in masks. I understand how they’re valuable for casual interactions in coffee shops or grocery stores. Not really sure what they’d offer in the intimate circumstances of a kinky scene. Although obviously I’m not a medical professional and I have a significant natural bias, as face to face interaction is a big part of my preferred dynamic.

Of course, necessity is the mother of invention. Maybe heavy medical scenes are going to be the kink of choice for the risk aware 2020 kinkster. Or fetish heavy outfits and masks, like the gorgeous shot below from Reflective Desire.

I found this image via this tweet from the Reflective Desire twitter feed. The image was shot back in 2019.

Mixing it Up

I like the kinky contrasts being employed here. I usual think of foot worship being a fairly gentle and relaxed kink. It’s almost mainstream it’s so popular in Femdom. Suspension in contrast is one of those serious kinks that requires taking a dozen classes, having a proper hard point available and being willing to devote serious time to get everything balanced properly. It’s rare to see those two mixed together, making this a particularly fun image.

This is obviously an older image from the kink.com family and features Madeline Marlowe. 

Random Aside

Question for any of my fellow bloggers out there – have you noticed a big drop in traffic to your site in the last few days? Mine looks like it has almost halved, which is an amazing drop. I’ve never seen anything like it in almost a decade. From this post it does look like Google rolled out a major update, but nothing described there seems to align with this kind of site. I wonder if Google is secretly taking yet another whack at penalizing adult sites?

For everyone else with no interest in search engine metrics, here’s a very hot throat grabbing picture. I don’t know the source for this, but I do love their expressions.

Human Contact

It just struck me that the last physical human contact I had was when Penny Barber peed on me back at the start of March. It was a great scene but, in retrospect, an odd note to enter quarantine on. Kind of like the condemned’s last meal, only in liquid form. If I’d known what was to come, maybe I’d have requested a gentler and more nurturing session. Although for a masochist, genital torture and watersports is somewhat nurturing.

I am craving human contact, which is very weird for a natural introvert who’s lived on his own for 20 or so years. I’d take something wet and warm, or hard and slappy, or even a simple hug at this stage.

I’ve seen a lot of people posting about being hungry to play again, but I wonder what form that play will take? Is it going to be an explosion of pent-up kinky energy resulting in many intense scenes? Or are people going to want to ease back into it? Personally I don’t think I could do an intense scene right now. I’d enjoy the holiday from thought that pain provides, but it’d be risky to flood my brain with endorphins and adrenaline in my current emotional state.  I might need some gentle warm-up sessions first. Is hugging a kink?

There’s no particular logic behind this image, other than it represents exactly the kind of playful physical contact I currently crave. This is from a series called Love Stories” by Victor Demarchelier for Numero magazine.

Revisiting an Old Favorite

It has reached the point of my quarantine where a Buffy re-watch seems mandatory. I do this every few years anyway, so why not now, while I’m trapped inside and keeping vampire hours myself?

I had forgotten just how hot the kissing scene was in the Season 1 episode ‘Angel’.  There’s a real subby masochist vibe to the kissing mixed with the cross quietly burning into his chest. Perfect TV for my angsty emotional inner teenager. Frankly, it’s getting increasingly hard to untangle him from the angsty emotional outer middle aged dude.

Positive vs Negative

It’s probably pretty clear from my recent posts that I kink very much on positive feedback when playing. Negative feedback is a real mood killer for me. That doesn’t mean I’m not open to constructive feedback or advice outside the bubble. I always want to improve and be a better kinky play partner. But mixing negative emotions like anger or disappointment with subspace and the complexity of intense kinky play never goes well for me.

That preference is clearly not true for every male submissive. There’s a lot of guys out there who love being the worthless worm under the boots of their untouchable Goddess. That’s a totally valid dynamic, but it makes me wonder what the ratio between the ‘Good  Boys’ and the ‘Worthless Worms’ is? If you believe the mainstream portrayals of femdom and the dominatrix/client relationship, then clearly almost every client is a worthless worm. Pro-dommes are always portrayed as beating, spitting on and humiliating their clients. Yet my personal observation is that it’s much more like 50/50, or even skewed more towards the positive side.

Obviously I have signification observational bias. I’m more likely to identify with people who share my kinks and play preferences. But despite that, I’m certain the ‘Good Boy’ loving crowd is not a small minority. Maybe kinky checklists should start including a tick box for ‘Good Boy’ vs ‘Worthless Worm’ vs ‘All of the Above’.

This good boy was shot by Gavin Kleinschmidt for Touch Puppet.

Mood Killer

A week or so ago I wrote a couple of posts on happy memories of dialog and sound effects from past sessions. I thought it’d be interesting to follow those up with a verbal interaction that didn’t go so well. This example is from a few years back. It’s rare that I have a bad memory of a session but this particular moment has stuck in my mind, partly because it seems so trivial. Odd for a small thing to make such a big difference to a dynamic.

It was my first session with this particular domme and part of it involved a whipping scene. I’m generally not a fan of doing whipping with someone I don’t know well, as the intensity levels can vary dramatically and it requires a certain amount of trust to relax into the headspace. However, I am a fan of being flexible and open to how a domme wants to compose a session, and so as long as it’s not a hard limit, I tend to go with the flow.

She had me tied facing a wall and the warm up period was relatively short. That already meant we had two strikes working against us. Not being able to see a domme, particularly when I’m playing with someone I don’t know well, always makes a scene harder. The pain becomes disconnected from the dynamic and simply becomes something to tolerate, rather than being channeled through my desire.

It wasn’t the most intense whipping I ever received, but it certainly wasn’t light. By the time we’d finished I was feeling pretty proud of myself for taking it all. At which point the domme said “Hmmm. Not bad I suppose. For a first attempt.”

That comment totally drained the energy out of the scene for me. Maybe it was intended as a combination of compliment and encouragement, but it had the opposite result. I felt like the scene had been set-up for failure, I’d powered through to make it work, and yet couldn’t even get a ‘Good Boy’ out of her. We didn’t play together again.

As I said at the start, it was a trivial thing. I’m sure the domme didn’t think anything of it. Yet for me, with the endorphins churning in the heightened emotions of subspace, it was a mood killer that I remember years later.

This is very much not the domme in question. Both her whip and her smile are a lot bigger than in my scene. I believe this is Mistress Ama K from the Latin Beauties in High Heels site. I’m not aware of a personal site for her.

Bending him over with a smile

A final post in this short sequence of fun pegging shots. This pose looks a bit like those I do when my yoga teacher is trying to stretch my hamstrings. Sadly none of my fully clothed and anal penetration free exercises are quite as much fun as this one appears to be. Hopefully he’ll get his breathing right as she leans forward and pushes into the pose.