Being informed

I don’t feature Stoya very often on this blog, despite having a minor crush on her. She has a shining intelligence (clearly visible in her blog and tumblr), coupled with elegant and classically beautiful looks. Unfortunately, from the perspective of this blog at least, most of her films are either straight sex or skewed more towards a M/f dynamic. Hence, I rarely have an opportunity to post about her. Given the circumstances of this particular post, I really wish that could have continued to be the case.

She’s just published via her twitter account that her ex-boyfriend and occasional co-star James Deen had previously raped her. Given it’s just a couple of tweets there’s obviously limited detail, but she accuses him of physically assaulting her and ignoring her safeword. I’ve read negative comments about his attitude and approach to consent from other actresses in the past, but never anything quite as clear and unambiguous as this.

The reason I bring it up here is because I think it’s beholden to anyone who looks at pornography to be informed about how it’s made and who is involved. Some anti-porn people will claim that it can never be safely used, as you never know the circumstances in which it is made. That is, quite frankly, bullshit. I’ve no way of knowing about the person who made my shoes or stitched my shirt. Most things in life, from food through to electronics, come to us with very little background information. Occasionally there’s a scandal that makes the headlines, but most of us are blind to the source of 99% of what we consume.

Pornography, in contrast, is relatively easy to track. Actors and directors write blogs, post tweets, visit conventions and hold interviews. Some people visit sets and some companies conduct tours. That’s not to say all porn is made ethically and transparently. Like all part of life there are bad people doing bad things. But from a consumer point of view, it’s one of the easier industries to educate yourself about.

James Deen has made a lot of kinky porn over recent year, and has been featured regularly on the kink.com family of sites. Personally I’ll be avoiding any purchase that would potentially contribute to his bank account from now on. I can’t tell anyone else out there if they should follow suit. But at least if you’ve read this post you’ll be able to make a slightly more informed decision.

StoyaGiven the context of the post I didn’t want to feature a particularly sexually explicit image. This is Stoya modelling as Neil Gaiman’s Death character from the Sandman series.

Odd moment

It’s always weird when my vanilla world and kinky world intersect in some unexpected way. I’m used to my BDSM themed Google Alerts popping up strange kinky news stories. I’m not so used to them firing up stories about my childhood football team (Aston Villa), as happened in this article today. There’s nothing particularly new about comparing masochism and BDSM to being a sports fan, particular when it is for a perennially losing team. It was just strange to see a kinky alert pop up for my paltego alter-ego on a topic I associate with the school playgrounds of my childhood.

British football doesn’t appear to attract a lot of femdom imagery, so I’m going to have to fallback on the American version for today’s picture. Anything that involves attractive cheerleaders and ball kicking is inevitably going to lead to a certain type of kinky imagery. In this case it is Ashley Fires taking the free kick (or the punt).

BallKick

Happy Thanksgiving

In America it’s the Thanksgiving holiday this week. As a British person in the States it feels like two random days off for no reasons whatsoever, given the holiday has zero emotional connection for me. Not that I’m going to complain about two free days off work. I can slack off with the best of them. I also think that one particular British person came up with the best quote about the holiday in today’s political climate, along with one of the best arguments on risk I’ve seen in a while.

For an image I’m going to steal from another British gentleman. In this case it’s the twitter feed of Sardax who featured this image a couple of years ago. I hope all my American readers have a fabulous turkey day. For everyone else, take comfort in the fact that Thursday is awfully close to Friday, which means the weekend is just around the corner.

PilgrimIf you like this image then please consider subscribing to Sardax’s main site.

Pony puzzle

This is my last post on the pony boy theme. It’s also an image that slightly puzzles me. At a casual glance the style of the artwork looks like Shiniez. However, the lettering style and crude writing doesn’t seem like him. He also doesn’t tend to feature F/m dynamics. Every attribution I’ve seen for this image on random tumblrs claims that it’s his, yet I couldn’t locate it on his deviant art site. So either it’s someone copying his style, or an image of his that has been modified, or I’m mistaken and it’s really his work. If anyone can solve my puzzle, then feel free to leave a comment and help me out.

Ponyboy

Pony Ride

A pony ride on a sandy beach used to be a traditional part of the British summer holiday for children. I don’t think the ponies ever looked anything like this however, The beaches probably weren’t as nice either.

If you hunt around for images of femdom and ponyboys you’ll find a lot of silly posed shots. This vintage shot is particularly bad, but representative of the type. The image below was one of the few I found that looked like she was genuinely going for a ride rather than simply posing for the camera. I also have to admire her ponies dedication. That full face hood must be incredibly hot.

BeachPonyI’m afraid I haven’t a reference for the creator of this image. Please leave a comment if you can help me attribute it.

Cavalry Charge

I’m really not sure what this video is about. There are attractive ladies, pony boys, fetish gear, jousting and a beach. I like it. I just don’t know why it was created. Although maybe it isn’t necessary to have a reason to exist when that kind of subject matter is involved. We should be thankful that someone felt the need to record it.

I particularly liked the fact that it wasn’t filmed on a private beach. If you look in the background you can see random tourists sunbathing and looking on. I always find beaches pretty boring, but this group of people showing up would certainly liven the experience up.

Femdom beach jousting
My thanks to Mistress Sidonia for pointing me at this in a recent blog post.

Are you experienced

Stabbity has a good post up on the issue of experience and how important it, or the lack of it, actually is. Her opinion is that while experience can be valuable, it’s a minor issue compared to how you act. Empathy, consideration and self-awareness will get you  a long way. Act like an inconsiderate asshole and it doesn’t matter how many years you’ve notched up under the lash.

She also makes the point that seeing a pro-domme is a valid choice if it meets your needs. If you want the focus to be on fulfilling your fantasies rather than negotiating and potentially compromising on shared ones then be honest with yourself about that. Better to have a clear and unambiguous professional relationship than a coercive lifestyle one.

When it came to picking a picture to illustrate sex, kink and experience, one name sprung immediately to mind – the legendary Nina Hartley. This is from a shoot she did for Whipped Ass.

Nina Hartley

Cynthia Payne

I was sad to read of the death of Cynthia Payne, who died on November 15th aged 82. As this obituary makes clear she had a rich and complicated life, and was a famous advocate for sex work. Despite having a great name for a dominatrix, she wasn’t strictly that. Instead she worked as an escort, brothel manager, sex party organizer and general provider of both kinky and non-kinky experiences. Maybe it says something about the English that she started as a general sex worker, but became known for all the kinky activities she was asked to help organize.

Two different films were shot based on her life. The early years were portrayed in Wish You Were Here. However, the more relevant one for this blog is Personal Services. Directed by Terry Jones (of Monty Python fame) and starring Julie Walters (from films such as Educating Rita and Billy Elliot), it told the story of her later life and sex work. It’s pretty tame by today’s standards, but I think worth seeking out. I think this quote gives a flavor for the very British humor involved…

[Wing Commander Morten, dressed in a French maid’s uniform, is dragged along the corridor to the cells after a police raid on the brothel]

Morten: [yells] I am retired officer of the RAF, twice decorated. I flew two hundred and seven missions over occupied territory – in bra and panties!
Policeman: You’re a disgrace.
[the cell door slams shut]
Morten: [yells, with hands on hips] This is no way to treat a lady!

I don’t have a picture of that scene, but here’s another one from the movie featuring another particularly British kink.
PersonalServices

Coffee and cunnilingus

I think all four drawings here are cute, but I particularly like the first one. Some people like their coffee first thing in the morning. Personally I like it as a mid-afternoon pick-me-up. Whatever the time, I have to think that oral sex would be a ‘Nice’ bonus to add to it. Maybe Starbucks should put this drawing on all their cups for the new year?

Coffee and cunnilingusThere’s no artist signature on the image (or somebody has chopped it off) and I didn’t find anything useful via a reverse image search. If anyone can help me attribute it to the original creator then please leave a comment or drop me an email.