Finger Blast

This is continuing the anal play theme from yesterday’s post. There are two great expressions in this photograph, produced as a result of two (or possibly three) fingers. It’s hard to tell from this shot if this is the start of a fisting session, a prostate massage or the warm to a strap-on. Either way, it should result in plenty more happy expressions.

I’m afraid I don’t have an original source for this image.

Updated: Thanks to a very helpful comment I can now attribute this to Evil Angel and the movie “Knock You Down a Peg” starring Sebastian Keys and Ella Nova.

The sexual power of the penetrating tool

While researching yesterday’s post featuring Mistress Yin, I came across this article by her on the pleasure she takes from anal sex as a top. I think it’s a great piece, and it really captures the aspects of anal play that make it so appealing to her.

I remember chatting to a domme about top space and the various ways she could access it. I was somewhat surprised to learn that she found that wielding a strap-on was one of the most consistent routes in to it. I’d always assumed top space would be tied to more obvious controlling and sadistic activities like bondage, corporal, piercing, etc. Yet for her it was the very intimate level of control and physical manipulation that came from a strap-on that worked most effectively.

This obviously isn’t Mistress Yin. I believe, based on this tweet, it’s Tristan Taormino.

Mercy Mistress

If you’re a fan of femdom (that should be almost everyone) and independent visual arts (hopefully a non-trivia subset of the former group), then allow me to direct your attention to Mercy Mistress. It’s a new series being developed by Mistress Yin and, as she describes in this slutist article

I want to make a webseries about kink, BDSM, the sex industry, Asian American-ness, queerdom, and good food.

Mercy Mistress is a fictional show based on my career as a professional dominatrix in New York City. Each episode focuses on a particular client, their kink, and their slice of life: Where their proclivities developed from and how they balance (or don’t balance) with their “vanilla” reality. From the nucleus of one woman’s work, the show delves into all the colors and shades of sexuality.

If you want to help her to develop the series then there’s a Chuffed campaign running for donations.

This is Poppy Liu playing Mistress Yin.

Feedback

My rant on blindfolds in the previous post prompted a comment from Simon that highlighted the value of eye contact when playing. I didn’t explicitly call that issue out, but he’s absolutely right. Forget fancy fetish outfits, crazy kinky activities and intense sexual fantasies. The simplest and most effective thing a domme can do to push my buttons is combine pain with eye contact.

It’s really a feedback process. The domme is studying me and reacting to my expression. In turn I’m responding to her interest and focus on me. It’s a curious blend of objectification and intimacy. Being played like an instrument, with pain simple the mechanism to achieve a desired response, is objectifying. Yet we’re both feeding off each others reactions and emotions, which is an intimate exchange. I love to see a smile as I scream.

Not a lot of pain being inflicted in this image, but I do like the pose and the eye contact.

I like to watch

I should give you fair warning, this post might be a bit of a rant. In the past I’ve vented here on topics like flirting with limits and cold playspaces. Today I’m going to take on a very popular BDSM accessory – the blindfold.

I’ll admit upfront that there are good situations for using a blindfold. They clearly work well as part of a sensory deprivation scene. If you want to change a routine up and introduce some surprises then a blindfold can help with that dynamic. They’re also great for beginners to reduce the pressure on the domme. He can let his imagine run wild while she has time to figure out exactly how the cuffs are supposed to work. What I don’t understand is why they’re so popular outside these situations. They often seem to get incorporated because they can be, rather than as a necessary component of a larger plan.

I’m particularly puzzled by how often pro-dommes tend to use them. I think it’s fair to say that most pro-dommes are very attractive women. That might not be a requirement of the job, but it’s unarguably a significant advantage. They also tend to spend a lot of money on exciting fetish gear and sexy footwear. So why on earth would they want to slap a blindfold on me so I don’t get to experience that visual pleasure? I’ve heard that it’s so I can use my imagination, but frankly I have the rest of my life to use my imagination. I’m paying money so, just for a few hours, I can enjoy an amazing reality that’s better than my kinky imagination.

The other strange thing I’ve observed is that blindfolds often seem to get used in initial sessions when the dominant and myself are still getting to know one another. That really doesn’t make much sense to me. It’s tough to quickly build the kind of dynamic necessary for intense play when you only see one another for a couple of hours ever few weeks or months. So why would you want to put up a barrier to make it harder to build the necessary chemistry? If I know someone intimately, then a blindfold can represent an interesting twist on that relationship. But if I met you for the first time 30 minutes ago, a blindfold just means a stranger I can’t see and don’t know is now hurting me. That might be a kink for some, but I doubt it is for most submissives. Pain is only hot in context, and absent a history together, a blindfold takes a lot of that context away.

I’ll admit I’ve had some fun sessions with blindfolds. I remember a scene with Lydia featuring saran wrap mummification, ear plugs, a blindfold and an e-stim device that almost pushed me into a hallucinatory state. I had difficulty speaking at the end of that. But in that case there was a very clear reason for the blindfold, and it was done when Lydia and myself had already played together for a hundred hours plus. I’ve done a lot more sessions with other dommes where the blindfold only subtracted from the scene and made it that much harder to relax into the moment.

Feel free to leave a comment if violently disagree (or agree) with me on this. I’m curious if it’s just me who feels this way, or if there’s a perspective (particularly from the domme side) that I’ve missed.

I believe this image is by Miss May of the Fetish Webmistress site.

A cunning plan

Trying to dig up dirt dirt on your political opponents is a time honored trick. Liberal Democrat candidate Dean Stone seemed to be giving it a shot when he emailed his opponent to ask if she had ‘anything embarrassing’ in her past. Admittedly, simply asking your opponent to simply volunteer political ammunition is pretty dumb, but at least it follows the basic formula. However, he then decided to give the old storyline a new twist, by sending her a naked picture of himself, partly dressed as a mouse and with a dominatrix. Presumably he thought she might not have been clear what he meant by ’embarrassing’, and thought that a personal example might really clarify his original request.

In today’s climate, it’s tough to set new standards for dumb political decisions. I really thought America had this sewn up. Yet Mr Stone has made a strong play here to bring Britain back into contention. Sadly, despite his cunning plan, he ended up coming 6th out of 6 candidates, so clearly the British voters aren’t on board with this new approach. Maybe he should try giving the White House a call? They seem to like out-of-the-box thinkers who can do exciting new things with social media.

Of course if Servitor had his way, male politicians and voters would be a thing of the past.

This wasn’t in Drivers Ed

Apparently in Japan it’s permissible for women to slap male drivers who don’t apply the brakes smoothly. I base this unlikely statement on this advert from Nissan and the fact that advertisers have never lied to me. Femdom fans should therefore avoid at all costs Nissan’s new e-Power system, with threatens to put an end to all to this facial brutality.

Based on its style, this face slapping artwork is clearly by Namio Harukawa.

AWOL

Apologies in advance – I’m off to the wilds of Oregon for the weekend, so there’ll be no new posts until I’m back. I normally wouldn’t be caught dead anywhere without internet access, but I have family in town, and they wanted to see a bit more of the US than was visible from my usual haunts of urban cocktail bars and restaurants.

If anyone is looking for some alternative entertainment while I’m gone, I noticed that Midori had done a couple of podcasts on her Forte Femme course. You can listen to part 1 and part 2 here. If I’m honest I found the interviewer a little annoying, as everything was awesome and amazing. I’d personally have preferred a more investigative and inquisitive approach, but your mileage may vary.

Hopefully I’ll be back on Sunday with new posts. That is unless I’m captured and ravaged by a wild roaming dominatrix, as captured in this rare photograph. I know what to do when encountering a bear or a cougar in the wilderness of the Pacific Northwest, but what about a domme of the forest? Based on my knowledge of the urban domme, I’m guessing the answer is probably a cock shot of some sort. That’s probably better than bear spray when it comes to ensuring everyone stays a long way away from you.

This is from the lovely Goddess Jessica’s twitter feed.

Quite the Collection

I’ve played in hotel rooms a good number of times, and generally had a fun experience. With the right dynamic and a bit of ingenuity you can do all sorts of scenes with a small travel bag of toys. And, as I’ve posted before, playing in a more downmarket location can sometimes have thrills all of its own.

Mistress Chiaki is clearly not a subscriber to that particular approach, given this shot of what looks like a beautiful hotel room and a truly awesome collection of toys. I’ve seen professional dungeons with less equipment than that. I hope she has a retinue of beefy slaves to pack it all up and carry it around for her.

This is from her blog in a post back in April this year.