The beauty of dominant women
This image is taken from a Korean film called Werewolf Boy. I’ve never seen it but, from what I’ve read, it tells the story of a young woman finding, befriending and taming the boy of the title.
I’m not sure that it’s really a story of female dominance in the conventional sense, but I do like this image. There’s a beautiful sense of stillness and control in it. Their respective positions speak to the idea of knight and queen as well as beast and owner.
The West coast of America is a touch on the warm side at present. Temperatures in Seattle aren’t as scorching as in the South West, but it’s still plenty hot. It doesn’t help that AC is more of a nice to have than a must have around these parts.
Hot weather like this makes me desire two things. The first is to sit on a shaded patio, drink long tall drinks (a well made Singapore Sling is always a good option), and trade lazy conversation with my friends. The second is slow sticky sweaty sex of the non-kinky variety. That first desire is probably pretty common, but I’m not sure about the second. Most people want to avoid physical exertion in the heat. And it’s unusual for me to crave vanilla sex at all. I like it well enough, it’s just kink always seems to be more of a focus.
I suspect that the root of my desire is down to scent. Somehow in my mind the kind of light sweat and musk that people give us in the heat is associated with sex. That probably comes from growing up in cold damp England and never going to the gym. All my good memories about being sticky and sweaty involve intertwined naked bodies. As sensory associations go, it’s not a bad one to have.
This image of a beautiful sweaty body is by the photographer Andrew Lucas. I found it originally on the Systemat tumblr.
Dan Savage recently published an interesting series of letters on cuckolding. They were all from people who were either involved in it or fantasizing about it. The first featured a woman justifiably frustrated at her husband continually forcing the fantasy into their love life. The second features a man’s perspective on the fantasy. Finally, a series of four letters from women details both their good and bad experiences with it.
It’s not a topic I talk much about on this blog. It strikes me as a very contextual activity that’s hard to address in the abstract. The tease and denial aspect of it seem very hot to me. The potential contrast between their pleasure and my frustration is certainly a button pusher. However, I find it hard to relate to the emotional components, and that seems to be a key part for most cuckold couples.
Purely on the basis of a risk/reward calculation, it does seem to be one of the more dangerous kinky things to dabble in. Most activities can be tried without risking major fallout. Experimenting to see if you both like floggers or rope bondage is unlikely to decimate the landscape of a relationship. Cuckolding is more of a nuclear option. Great if it works, but you’ll be cleaning the mess up for years if it doesn’t.
The above image is originally from the Merciless Women site. I found it on the Cuckold Collection tumblr.
It has been a generally happy day for me. First, the Supreme Court struck down DOMA and dismissed the appeal on prop 8. Plus there was the added bonus of watching Scalia rage impotently. Then I got to enjoy a lot of needles and kite twine with Lydia. Finally, basking in a wave of endorphins, I cracked open some good champagne and sat down to write this. Not a bad 24 hours all told.
I sadly don’t have any images of Scalia getting whipped, bound or anally pleasured. That would have made for a great finish to the post. Instead I’ll run with the theme of happiness. This is originally from the Sacred Kink Academy and came to me via the Happy BDSM tumblr.
Today’s post continues the amusing video theme. While yesterday’s was funny but a little silly, this one is funny with an edge. It’s called ‘Shit Girls Say to Dominatrices‘ and was created by Miss Ginger Millay. While ostensibly from the point of view of a pro-domme, there are plenty of comments in there that I’m sure lifestyle dommes will have also heard. The line and follow-up about accepting Jesus particularly made me smile.
The video’s creator is a NYC based pro-domme. I’m sure she’s fabulous at many aspect of her job, but I particularly like her librarian look as shown below. I never roleplay in scenes, but if there was ever a gateway scenario, it’d be Miss Millay in the library with an overdue book. Much more fun than Miss Scarlet in the study with the candlestick.
Someone dropped me a link to this video advertising Wodka Vodka. It’s an amusing commercial, featuring a woman getting jobs done thanks to a quick internet ad and a succession of helpful horny slaves.
However, it particularly caught my eye because of a post I recently stumbled across from San Francisco’s Vinyl Queen. In it she lists the efforts she goes to in order to get a client to actually show up at her play space. The vodka commercial is entertainingly unrealistic, but it wasn’t until I read her post that I realized the extent of the gulf that exists in professional BDSM between advertising and closing the deal. For a lot of her new clients…
These men ultimately hate the fact they can’t rid themselves of this part of their psyche, so it comes out sideways in their dealings with the ONE person who can offer them a brief respite from their desire to submit/serve/be tortured—you get the picture. So instead of my calendar booking up like a medical office, it fills up in a manner unique to this profession. Enter: The Hand Holdee
Despite my website being very detailed and clear about my interests and limits, the Hand Holdee loses all semblance of reading comprehension and memory. It’s like he WANTS me repeat what he KNOWS is on the computer screen in front of him. He is so conflicted internally that he has to hear the words he wants come out of my mouth so he will feel more secure in the days/weeks/or months leading up to our time together.
So for a pro-domme advertising and marketing is only a starting point. Ironically enough, and to tie it all back to the starting point of the post, for vodka marketing is pretty much the first, last and only point that matters. The basic product is interchangeable, varying only slightly depending what filtering is done and what water is added. So, as this fascinating article describes, how you market it is key. The Wodka of the kinky commercial is actually trying a new approach in that respect.
Here’s a nice picture to finish off the weekend. Someone is clearly enjoying themselves. It’s probably not slave number 52, but who knows when it comes to masochists. Judging by the bright red color of his bottom she’s being very faithful to the instructions written on him. I hope she keeps that grin going all the way to strike fifty.
As the watermark makes clear, this is originally from the Young Dommes site. I found it on the The Heart’s Dark Desire tumblr.
I try and avoid posting too many stereotypical shots of dommes in fetish gear staring into the camera. It’s not that I’m not partial to the occasional one now and again. They’re popular for a reason. However, there are plenty of tumblrs featuring them already, and I like to try and keep this sites appeal as broad as possible.
Occasional one will catch me eye as being a little different, and this is such a case. All the standard elements of the cliche are there. Leather boots. Tight latex. Black gloves. But she looks so relaxed and calm. There’s no sneering or haughty posture. I get the feeling she’d be a lot of fun to play with. She manages to look great without appearing to be trying too hard.
I found it on the my wife is in charge tumblr. I’m afraid I’ve no attribution for it. Google images can’t find a single copy of it, let alone the original site. If anyone knows who this is leave a comment and I’ll update the post.
I’m starting this post with a warning about the links it contains. Normally that would mean I was about to discuss edge play and feature potentially disturbing images. However, in this case the links are to conservative journalists talking about kink. I realize that may still constitute edge play for some people. On the face of it they’re discussing extreme porn from kink.com, but it quickly gets into general issues of consent and sexual ethics.
What started this unlikely flurry of posts was an essay by Emily Witt entitled What Do You Desire. The heart of the piece is a description of a shoot for the Public Disgrace site, but it also encompasses the tech culture, San Francisco culture and Emily’s own personal life. It’s an essay that got a lot of attention across the web, not just from the writers below. Personally I was unimpressed. As a kinky and techy person, who lives on the West Coast and visits the Bay Area often, I expected to read something I could relate to. Something that reflected, at least in some way, my experiences. Instead it comes across as a high concept piece. Rather than immersing herself into the culture and drawing conclusions from it, I got the impression Emily went in with a concept and cherry picked her observations to match.
While I might not have been impressed, a lot of other people were. What particularly entertained me were a series of posts from conservative writers. Roughly in order (as they responded to each other) there was: Rod Dreher, Noah Millman, Alan Jacobs, Noah Millman 2, Rod Dreher 2, Pascal-Emmanuel Gobry, Conor Friedersdorf and Rod Dreher 3.
There’s enough material in those articles for a dozen posts, but I’ll try and limit myself to just this one. As you might expect they have a few interesting insights scattered randomly through a whole steaming mound of ignorance. I don’t fault them too much for that. No doubt if I was writing about Conservative Evangelical Christians in the South on the basis of a single provocative article I’d also reveal a lot of my ignorance about that group. What I will fault them for is the horrible underlying logic in some of their arguments. Particularly Rod Dreher writing here on the subject of consent.
His argument is, at the heart of it, a variant on the slippery slope fallacy. He starts out by defining consent as the way people judge right from wrong. He then points out consent alone can never be enough, because people can consent to terrible things. For example, the cannibal who ate a willing victim. And therefore, if consent is not your guiding light, then what can be? How can anyone define what is morally right? The only answer must be God.
For all its many flaws, Christianity (like Islam, like Judaism) at least offers a standard by which to judge right and wrong….
…Christianity at least holds on to the idea that Truth exists, and is knowable, however imperfectly.
The huge glaring flaw in this appeal to absolutism is of course the problem of defining religious Truth. Saying Jesus would have frowned on cannibalism is uncontroversial. But what was his position on silk scarves tied to the headboard? Or a little nipple biting during coitus? And if that’s OK, does he draw the line at nipple clamps? How about anal sex between a loving couple? What if it’s a loving gay couple? I haven’t noticed too many burning bushes appearing recently to give us guidance on these areas.
Of course what people like Rod Dreher really want to impose with a religious standard is their standard. They really know what God meant to say. Of course in reality they have no divine hotline. They’re just people making judgement calls about right and wrong like everyone else. They just don’t trust the rest of us to do it properly.
I’ll leave you with an image of two sinners doing terribly wicked things. I know it might look like a beautiful image of two people enjoying an intense and intimate moment, but that can’t be right. Nipple clamps are clearly the work of Beelzebub.
The image is from the always excellent bondage is not a crime tumblr.
After a few weeks in which we were both traveling a lot, I finally got chance to get together with Lydia tonight. Cock and ball torture was on the menu. A lot of prodding, thwacking and zapping later, I’m a happily blissed out bunny. A bit tender and sore in some places, but definitely happy.
I can only hope the gentleman in the image below felt equally good after Mz Berlin got done with him. He certainly shouldn’t have been able to complain about a lack of focus on her part.
This image is from the Captive Male site. I originally found it on the In A Humbler tumblr (although that version had the site watermark trimmed off it).
Weirdly enough after writing the above post, while scanning through the tumblr reposts of this image, I came across this tumblr post, which is actually from the male submissive in the picture (Bondage Toy). Even more strangely he’s located in my part of the world and has obviously played with Lydia in the past. Of all the thousands of CBT pictures I could have picked for the post, what are the odds I’d pick not only someone local who’d played with Lydia, but also left enough information for me to find that out? Particularly given the only thing of his in the shot are a pair of dangling testicles.