I generally don’t indulge in kinks tied to my traumas. Most of my kinks come from a positive dynamic, although it might not look that way to an outsider. I desire to be controlled, objectified, to please, to suffer for her. Not having to think, to be a plaything, is a very relaxing space for me.
In contrast I react very negatively to being bullied or humiliated. As an unworldly book smart skinny geek from a poor family, I got plenty of that when I was at school. I had many tough years of bullying, and have no desire to revisit them. Even just pulling my hair or slapping me a certain way in a scene can trigger a strong negative emotion.
Yet oddly, I can kink on the abstractions of that dynamic. Humiliation, bullying, anger and abuse can be hot in porn or art. I find that odd. For example, I really like the image below. Yet I’m sure I’d hate to roleplay that in a scene. Why does the image work but the roleplay not? Is that because I just haven’t yet fully come to terms with my traumas? Is art a way to work through them gradually? Or is it because the abstraction of art allows me to selectively pick up on the elements I like while not pushing my emotional buttons?
This is artwork from the Rockstar game Bully. I found it – along with some other similar examples – via this tweet.



I don’t have any great crating images, but this one does have a nice puppy and collar theme going on. I imagine the crate is just out of shot.
Art is obviously by the late great Namio Harukawa.
If you’re interesting in seeing more of his work, then an image search will return a lot of his drawings. There’s also a number of galleries available 

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