Category: Uncategorized

Parental Figures

My random thought of the day – originally over a coffee and delicious filled doughnut at my favorite local haunt – was how differently we treat the emotionally loaded words ‘Mommy’ and ‘Daddy’ in kink.

In M/f relationships there are obviously some people who like to roleplay actual father/daughter relationships. That squeaks some people out, but it’s clearly a thing for others. However, a lot of the use of the term ‘Daddy’ seems to be about a more abstract concept of a loving authoritarian figure rather than an actual relative. Typically when someone talks about wanting a Daddy-Dom or a Daddy/Baby relationship they’re using it as a shorthand for a style of relationship rather than claiming an incest kink. Based on my limited and entirely anecdotal observations, I’d say this second more abstract usage is a lot more prevalent than the first.

In F/m interactions I never see this dual use. The more abstract idea doesn’t exist. Any reference to ‘Mommy’ is always about incest roleplay of the naughty son who needs disciplining, educating or restraining. I don’t see dominant women describe themselves as ‘Mommies’ and pro-dommes always list ‘Mommy’ under their roleplay sections rather than their style of play. Mommy Dom never gets used as a label in the same abstract way Daddy Dom does.

In fact I’ve even seen some dommes on twitter describe themselves as Daddies via expressions like “Who’s your Daddy now?” and “Daddy’s Home!” I get why they’d do this, but it seems somewhat odd for a female dominant to draw on a male archetype to emphasize dominance.

I’m afraid I’ve no conclusion to finish with. Nor do I have a value judgement about the current state of affairs. I just thought it was an interesting observation to share. Why the difference between the two? Or am I wrong in my anecdotal observations?

Artwork is by Barbara O’Toole who often seemed to specialize in the older women – young man genre.

Wanted: Friendly Barista with Warm Hands

I’m beginning to think that Gwyneth Paltrow has a fetish for getting people to put odd things into their intimate places. There was the vaginal steaming, then the jade eggs and now it’s coffee enemas. Given the amount she charges for this stuff, there might also be an element of fin-domme going on as well.

While some of us would find daily life tough to face without our regular caffeine fix, it’s probably best to avoid taking it anally. The same goes for that other popular social beverage – alcohol. Not sure what the science says about the scene below though. I’m going to guess doctors would cite a lack of prior data and urge caution.

This is the lovely Mistress Eleise De Lacy in a shot for Femme Fatale Films.

Preparing Backstage

I love this transformation shot from Maitresse Nuit. They both look so focused and happy. The style makes me think of Weimar Germany in the 1920’s. Once the transformation is complete, I can just imagine the two of them strutting out into a smoky 1920’s nightclub. They’d sip a cocktail, take a turn with the cabaret and flirt with rich aristocrats. A hedonistic delight.

The photographer of this beautiful image is Lucina Nathanael.

The cutest new year celebration

I’ve always enjoyed being decorated as part of a session. For example, there was the Christmas tree Lydia turned me into, the piercings she did to my back and the heart Inga Larsson cut on my chest. There’s something quite relaxing about simultaneously being the center of attention but also objectified as a canvas for the domme to use.

That said, I’ve never really got into being written on. It’s often used used as a form of humiliation, with insulting slogans, which is never my thing. However, I could totally get into the kind of body writing shown below. Who wouldn’t want a cute cat and dog on them to celebrate 2018? Not to mention an awesome sassy giraffe and chicken.

This is taken from a series of photos in this tweet.  I’m guessing (given it’s all in Japanese) that the artists are @SiouxsieQ5 and @runa_tan_desu. If I’d been their canvas, I might not have showered for the next couple of weeks.

Introduce Yourself

Contacting a professional domme I’ve not talked to before is always an interesting experience. There’s a surprising degree of variance in the process. Some dommes are immediately chatty and responsive, others assume I’m a time waster until proven otherwise. Sometimes there’s a lot of protocol, other times it’s a more relaxed and casual discussion. Deposits may or may not be required, as might a telephone chat. Some dommes want lots of detail on my interests, experiences and limits. Others save all that for when we meet in person.

There’s one phrase that occasional pops up in the initial emails that always makes me smile. The wording can vary, but it’s generally something like – “Describe how you want to serve me.” I totally get why this phrase is popular  – it emphasizes the power dynamic and makes it clear who is ultimately in charge of what happens in the session. At the same time it does wake up a couple of contrarian personalities that lurk within me.

My practical inner engineer wants to reply that I can only serve someone if I know what they need doing at this particular point in time and how my skill set might mesh with that set of requirements. So maybe if they send their list of problems and I send my list of skills, maybe we can figure something out? I’ve never succumbed to my inner engineer because I fear the problems will turn out to be a dirty car and being insufficiently rich, and I’ll end up paying $300 an hour to scrub brake dust off a dommes hubcaps.

My snotty inner brat wants to reply that I’d like to serve her by dragging my middle-aged out-of-shape ass to her  well equipped play space so the skilled and attractive domme in question can greet me in one of her exciting fetish outfits.  Then I’d like to continue serving her by exploring together some of the kinky activities that I most enjoy. Finally, I’ll complete my service by getting dressed and going home to collapse on the couch with a glass of wine while she clears up the play space. Needless to say, my snotty inner brat is never allowed anywhere near a session negotiation.

Like I said, and sarcasm aside, I do understand the motive behind that expression. I just find that in emphasizing the fantasy, it actually highlights how far a typical professional session can be from it. In the vast majority of cases it’s service topping, not service bottoming.

Here’s a man selflessly serving by allowing himself to be tied up and have his cock played with by a naked lady. It’s a tough job, but someone has to do it.

Full Service Butlering

The big chain and lock around his neck is kind of hot, but that’s not what caught by eye about this image. They’re pretty clear in a public restroom – so what’s with the hooded butler with the silver tray? It looks like he’s serving drinks – weird enough in a restroom – but there’s no glasses on it. Is he there to hold people’s drinks while they use the stall? Or is he with her? Maybe carrying her BDSM toys around on a silver platter? Are hooded butlers a standard accessory in kinky sex party bathrooms?

Boys and Men

While I appreciate the sentiment, I’m not sure it’s entirely accurate. If memory serves, I’m fairly sure strong women excited me as a boy as well as a man. I guess the slogan ‘Strong women intimidate adult males who are figuratively boys, while exciting adult males who are figuratively men as well as some literal boys’ might not have fitted.

Bored and Ignored

Mistress Maria over at Girls Rule, Subs Drool tumblr posted an interesting fantasy idea I’ve not heard before from a woman’s perspective.

Occasionally I have a “bored and ignored” style fetish.
I want to lay on my bed reading a good book, while you hump the back of my thighs, then get off on me, and lick it up. Without me saying or doing anything (other than giving permission.)

I’ve seen this kind of thing before in femdom porn, but it typically has a male-centric fetishistic approach. The guy is humping a boot or a shoe or whatever object gets him off, with the woman just there to wear it and add a frission of humiliation. Maria’s description (and there’s more to it than just the quote above) has a slightly different slant. It’s more tease and denial, with an odd reverse objectification, with the man now being the one ignored. It puts me in mind of puppy play, with a helpless horny pup.

I think it’s a hot fantasy – although I do query one element. Maria suggests that most people couldn’t get off like this, so there would be a sense of frustrated futility. I would think the majority of submissive guys would absolutely be able to get off like that. If you really to make it increase the frustration factor, there would need to be a time limit involved.

I believe this is by the German artist Otti Rudolf Schatz (1900 – 1961).

Happy 2018!

There’s still a few hours to go in Seattle, but given I plan to spend most of them with a glass of champagne in my hand, I thought I’d put a post up ahead of schedule. Wherever you are, and however you plan to celebrate, I wish you a happy and kinky 2018.

The image is of course from the incomparable Sardax. If you’re in the doghouse after screwing up a special someone’s Christmas gift, maybe consider gifting them an illustrated copy of the classic Venus in Furs by way of apology?

Regrets, I had a few.

As we turn the final corner and make the run down the home straight towards the end of the year, it’s inevitable that thoughts turn to our omissions in 2017. What did we miss out on? Where should we have tried harder? What could we have achieved with just a little more effort? None of us are perfect, and I’m sure we all end the year with regrets.

For me, I think the answer would have to be face slapping. I really should have been hit harder and more frequently in the face. On the whole I did well on nipple piercing, got a passing grade in anal play, and certainly didn’t let the side down when it came to CBT and electrical play. But I can count on one hand the number of times I got a good solid slap to the face. Really must try harder in 2018. This face isn’t going to bruise itself.

I’m afraid I don’t have an attribution for this image.