Like a lot of people, I enjoy regular, vanilla sex. It’s undeniably fun and pleasurable. Yet, it’s never as much fun as an intense kinky scene. I’d rather be fucked up than fuck. Occasionally, when booking up pro-domme sessions I’ll contemplate the idea of finding someone just for regular PIV sex. My social media feeds have any number of hot escorts in them. However, I never do it, as I know I’ll just end up wishing I’d stuck to pain over pleasure.
This preference is probably not too surprising. I run a femdom blog after all. However, what I do find odd is how much I like playing with tease and denial, or implied chastity/cuckold dynamics. They’re all based on the desirability of sex, the thing I don’t bother arranging. I’m turned on by the idea of not getting the thing that I don’t actually want.
I guess I’m a bit like a dog chasing a car. The fun is all in the chase. Catching it would spoil the game.
This gentleman seems to be safely packaged up and unlikely to be spoiling things with sex anytime soon. I found it via tumblr but it’s from Mrs Steelwerks.
I’m deeply convinced that we all have one major motivation in common: we want our dommes to demand something from us, to challenge us and the only reason is, that we translate these demands into “She loves me, she acknowledges me, she takes me seriously”. The idea of her thinking “I whip him, I punish him, I lock him up, I restrict him because I love him” is our ultimate thrill.
That’s an interesting way to put it. I think to be desired or wanted, even if it’s twisted and unusual ways, is so important. The way that manifests can be complicated however!
-paltego
There is something that always irritates me. It’s when a novel or story that is supposed to be about BDSM/Femdom treats the actual kink as nothing more than foreplay – a brief prelude to perfectly ordinary vanilla sex.
I read one recently (Preferential Treatment – recommended by O Miss Pearl) in which the rich submissive invites a ‘dominant’ woman to his house for a BDSM session. He tells her that he has given the servants the night off, so they have the whole evening to themselves. Then there is a brief bit of power play, some ‘topping from the bottom’ a couple of minutes of edging….and then they get on with simple, straightforward bonking. After that she goes home, and this submissive (who we are told has had many years of BDSM experience) declares it the greatest night of his life, and is besotted by ‘the most dominant woman he has ever met’.
It is odd that so many BDSM/Femdom stories are based on the premise that the thing a man (even a submissive man) wants more than anything else is an orgasm. And that the greatest torture is orgasm denial (usually brief).
One very good exception to this is Training My Professor by Thimble.
Thanks for the tip!
-paltego
Absolutely. I want my kinky stories to be about actual kink – control, objectification, pain, teasing, mind games, etc. All the good stuff! There’s a million other options for depictions of vanilla sex.
-paltego