The recent posts on safewords and when ‘no’ can mean ‘yes’ triggered a happy memory of mine. It involves Lydia, ball torture and a unique event.
It occurred after Lydia and I had been playing together for several years and had done hundreds of hours of pretty intense sessions. The scene was CBT, with me bound on a bed and Lydia lying alongside, doing terribly evil things to delicate parts of my body. At some point she ratcheted the intensity up and I moaned something like “no….oh…no”. She paused momentarily, looked at me quizzically, and then said “I don’t think I’ve ever heard you say no to me before.” Deep as I was in subspace, it took me a few seconds to figure out what she meant. Then we smiled at each other and went right back into it. Her squeezing and hitting; me moaning and yelling.
Of course I had said ‘no’ to her multiple times in the past. Or at least words to that effect. Things like “hold on, I have a cramp”, or “no, I need a moment” or “we better pause, I’m feeling faint”. Stepping out of scene was occasionally necessary and always easy to do. This situation was just the first time she’d pushed me to the point of actually saying a ‘no’ that really meant a ‘yes’ in the scene. It was an unconscious and unfiltered response to what was happening.
In hindsight it turned out to be a unique event. It’s not the normal way I respond, and I don’t think we ever got back into that particular headspace again. I’m glad it happened though. The event and her recognition of it while deep in the scene put a smile on my face both then and now.
Here’s a gentleman enjoying some bondage and CBT of his own, courtesy of Divine Bitches. Although his position looks considerably more uncomfortable than mine ever was.