I’ve never been particularly convinced by the idea of sex addiction and this article by Dr Marty Klein does a good job of knocking the concept down. What I found particularly fascinating was the link he provided to a sexual addiction test. In just a few minutes you can allegedly find out if you’re a sex addict.
I took the test, answered honestly, and discovered that I was in fact a sex addict. Surprised by that result I took it again, answered equally honestly, and discovered that I was not a sex addict. This seemed to suggest the survey methodology might be a touch flawed. The problem is the ambiguity of the questions. Two different but valid interpretations can give two different but valid answers. For example…
- Are any of your activities against the law?
Well it depends what US state I’m in, but if I’m doing it right, yes. - Have you ever felt degraded by your sexual behaviors?
Personally I think it’s hot when a domme pees in my mouth, but it’s a good sort of degradation. Does that count? - Do you hide some of your sexual behaviors from others?
I have to be honest. I haven’t told 100% of my friends about my love of electrified butt plugs. - Do you spend a considerable time surfing pornography online?
Well this blog isn’t going to write itself. But it’s purely for research purposes. Honest.
etc. etc.
Oddly one of the questions asks if you regularly engage in sadomasochistic behavior. So presumably that’s some sort of indicator. Maybe my first survey result was right after all. And judging by his expression, the gentleman below might be in danger of developing my addiction as well. That young lady is clearly a dangerous sex dealer.
This image is originally from Strapon Dreamer. I found it via the Your Vengeful Goddess tumblr.
I have a great deal of respect for 12 step programs and spent a bunch of years in AA rooms. However, the couple of sex addict 12 step meetings I went to convinced me that the therapeutic model is not well adapted to sexual stuff.
Besides, I like dangerous sex dealers too much!
Thanks advochasty. Interesting to hear of your experiences in this context. And I’m with you all the way on the dangerous sex dealers! 🙂
-paltego
I love this post and your humor. I’ve done a lot of reading on this and my partner went to a lot of sex addicts mtgs and counselling session only to still be the kinky, cuckold sub he is and loving it.
Maybe if they would try to understand that people are not all wired the same and stop trying to fit us into a puritan american model there may be some understanding. 😉
~ Vista
Thanks Vista. Glad you liked it.
I think when it comes to sex, relationships and interests, the simple test is: Does this significantly detract from or damage other aspects of your life. If it doesn’t then work with it. Not need to try and conform to some model of how other people think life should be lived.
Of course if it does have a major negative impact then the question of how to deal with it is a much more complex one! But glad to hear your partner ended up in a good place, whatever the path to get there.
-paltego