My random thought of the day: Never stress about walking up to a BDSM playspace. As long as you’re dressed like conventionally – which you absolutely should be – then nobody knows or cares what you’re doing. Passersby will just assume you’re a regular person doing regular person things.
I’ve done a lot of sessions at a lot of different spaces in many different cities. I’ve never once had a random stranger shout “Hey everyone – look at that pervert! He’s off to do weird freaky stuff in that building.” From the outside playspaces look anonymous. 99.9% of people will walk past and have no idea they’re there. Over the years I’ve personally had exactly zero awkward moments getting into and out of playspaces.
It’s also important to keep in mind that the domme is highly incentivized to keep the entrance routine under the radar. After all, she is the one regularly in the space and dealing with a constant stream of clients. No domme is going to appear at the doorway in full fetish gear and loudly command her clients to get to their knees in full view of the street. Instead the traditional entrance routine is the sideways slide, slipping through a door held only slight ajar, concealing both the domme and the hallway decorations from any random passersby.
The discrepancy between the outside of playspaces and the inside is always something that brings a smile to my face. I love that the outside can be a regular townhouse on a regular street, and inside a scene like this one can be unfolding….
This is Domina Yuki and Lucy Sweetkill playing earlier this year in a lovely San Francisco space I know well.
You’re right when you say that mostly play spaces are anonymous but problems can arise if somewhere has been operating for a long time. I once visited a Mistress in her premises in London and as they were on the 3rd floor I got in the lift. With me in the lift was an older lady probably in her eighties. When I pressed for the 3rd floor she smiled at me and said “here to get your bottom smacked are we?” to which I could only reply with a wry grin. To be fair she didn’t seem judgemental, just interested. There is also a play space in the Surrey countryside which is far enough from the train station to require a taxi and it appears that the majority of the drivers know why you are going there.
That’s a great story. So good in fact, I had to feature it in a follow-up post :-).
I’ve mostly played in the big US cities, so haven’t had the experience of smaller towns where drivers might know locations. I can imagine might be a slightly awkward trip in that case. Although I’ve found taxi drivers can be annoyingly curious almost everywhere!
Thanks a lot for the comment. Made me smile!
-paltego
Good post, good points. You reminded me of 2 episodes. One just a few months back. I’m going to a new dungeon in Philly, so I leave in plenty of time (parking & traffic in Center City is a nightmare.) I’m early so I stroll casually around the block, passing the front to note the numbers. I’m so cool & casual (I think) & come around the second time to push the doorbell. A nice young guy comes to the door & obviously notes my confused expression. “I’ll bet you want the place next door. Don’t worry, it happens a lot.” So much for Mr. Cool.!
But you also reminded me of another more exciting, semi-public episode in Baltimore, quite a few years back. I had played with this terrific girl just a couple times. She was fabulous: Pretty, smart, a natural at maternal strictness. Her place was the 1st floor of a row home in a downtown Baltimore, on a busy residential street & it was mid-afternoon.
I pulled up on time right in front of her house this one day in the middle of the afternoon. As I got out of the car I saw her standing on the porch, arms crossed in front, with a withering glare on her face. For a couple seconds it actually scared me that maybe I was late. Her expression never changed as I realized I wasn’t late. Cars & people all around & I got this terrific surge of excitement rather than humiliation. As soon as I hit the porch, she stayed in character & in a normal firm no nonsense tone, I heard: “You get yourself in there right NOW!” and it wasn’t whispered. I pretty much turned to jelly. What a GREAT day!
I love the scene you described from Baltimore. Not at all my kind of kink, but I can imagine how well it’d work in that situation. It’s great when a domme can give a scene a twist and catch you unawares like that.
I had a similar experience to your Philly one in Chicago. In my case I couldn’t find the door to the space and the domme wasn’t picking up the phone. In the end I went and asked in a shop where the hell number 35C was (since the shop was labelled as 35). Turned out to be a door at the side to the upstairs flat. The guy in the shop gave me a nod and gave the impression this wasn’t the first time it had happened.
Thanks for sharing!
-paltego
I’ve also played in a few places on industrial sites which always leads me to grin as I drive past them and wonder if there is one there … interestingly, even though other units know what is going on there has never been any judgement there either.
Yeah, I always smile when I pass a space and wonder what’s going on in there. Particularly if I’m with someone who has no idea about it. Glad to hear you’ve never encountered issues in those kind of spaces.
Thanks for stopping by to comment!
-paltego