One thing that getting involved in BDSM has taught me is how simple things can drastically alter my perception of reality. People are constantly building a model of the world in their mind. They combine the signals from their senses to create a personal version of reality. I think most people see this as a very robust and simple additive process. Faulty or missing signals should not change what reality is. I suspect we have to implicitly believe this or we’d go crazy. But in fact adding or removing a signal doesn’t simply enhance or reduce our internal model of the world. It mutates it in far more complex ways.
I experienced a reminder of this tonight, while playing with Lydia. She had me transfixed in a web of ropes, electrics attached to various points, and was scratching and piercing me with a collection of needles. As far as activities go this was pretty intense, but nothing too unusual for us. Then she introduced a blindfold. In theory this shouldn’t have changed too much of my mental model. The only thing I could see was her ceiling or her face. It wasn’t like I needed to be reminded what either of them looked like to understand what was happening. Yet it radically changed how I felt.
With the blindfold on I pulled away from the pain. I feared it. The sensation was sharper, more intense. My anxiety levels rose. I said ‘no’ occasionally, something which does nothing to slow Lydia down, but is unusual for me. My sense of the surrounding world shrank. I lost track of time.
When she removed the blindfold, everything changed. I moved towards the pain, wanted it. The actual sensation of it changed. My breathing slowed and I felt calmer. I fixated on her, and felt a powerful wash of emotion towards her. My vocalization changed from screams to moans. I found I could more easily focus without being distracted by the electric shocks. The engineer in me wants to say this makes no sense. The signal from my eyes was telling me nothing I didn’t already know. In terms of information theory, the entropy of the signal was zero. Yet, it clearly did radically change my experience and perception of what was happening.
I’ll leave you with an image of a man experiencing his own version of a modified reality, courtesy of Divine Bitches.
Notice her hand gently resting on his. For me, an incredibly powerful element of the scene.
I wonder if that gentle, reassuring touch would mitigate, somewhat, the ramp up in intensity that you described when under the blindfold.
Mark
Thanks for the comment Mark. This actually sparked enough thoughts on my side to justify a new post, so see the latest entry for my follow-up to the comment!
-paltego
Damn those blindfolds! They get you every time!!!! This little episode of yours reminds me of my ‘tying’ scene that I didn’t fair well in months ago. LOL You are much better at holding on! 🙂
~ Vista
It’s funny. As I was writing this I had a vague recollection of writing on blindfolds before, but I couldn’t quite place exactly what post I was thinking about. Then as soon as I saw your comment it instantly clicked! And yes, the scene I described last time and your tying scene are other good examples of that shifted perception.
I should also add that it’s not so much I’m good at it, just that I’ve practiced a lot!
-paltego
I loved this perspective, thank you for it.
I have a thing for blindfolds because I find the change in him fascinating, and his response really varies depending on any number of factors.
On the one hand it can make him feel ‘safer’ because it can remove a level of self-conscious observation (like covering the eyes of animals to calm them (seriously)). On the other, it can heighten everything else. A few seconds of silence suddenly become a screaming void of uncertainty, a gentle touch akin to an electric shock.
Love love LOVE them.
Ferns
Glad you enjoyed this perspective Ferns, and thanks for the comment.
The removal of self-conscious observation is an interesting slant on it. I intellectual completely get that and can see how it would work for some people. Unfortunately for me, I don’t think it’s ever had that effect. What I imagine always seems much worse than what I can see!
As for the uncertainty and the effect of a simple touch – absolutely. I just published a follow-up post around that topic, and how a blindfold can change even simple physical contact.
-paltego