The Femdom world is replete with stories of service slaves who fail miserable at their chosen role. These stories all play out in much the same way. Domme engages slave for cleaning, polishing, organizing, etc. Slave does a terrible job unless constantly micro-managed by domme via kinky roleplay. Slave is more trouble than he’s worth and gets dismissed. Domme swears off engaging any slaves for service in future.
Of course, there are always exceptions. For example, this article in Elle magazine – ‘I Hired A Gimp To Clean My Apartment‘ – plays out slightly differently. From the opening paragraphs it seems set for disaster. It features two inexperienced young dommes, an investment banker, and no clear sense that anyone knows what they’re doing or how to negotiate a BDSM dynamic. Yet oddly it doesn’t end with angry recriminations or the investment banker in hospital. While the writer never grows to love her role, it seems her flatmate is more than happy to take charge. So maybe the answer to successfully managing a service submissive is getting a service domme to manage them for you.
Personally, I’ve no desire to clean, tidy or polish. That’s definitely not my skillset. However, I think I’d make an excellent kitchen submissive. I can prep, cook and pour wine with the best of them.
My Mistress and I indulge in very long sessions (typically 4-5 hours) and even if I wanted to be beaten, pegged and tied up for that long my aging body would protest or possibly even collapse. Consequently I will be made to do household chores, cleaning, polishing even on one occasion decorating in between punishments etc. Sometimes I’m dressed in a maids outfit and other times I may be naked whilst completing these tasks, although painting in the nude is not recommended as the paint ends up in some very unusual places. As well as giving my beaten buttocks and protesting body a moment of respite I find these tasks strangely relaxing even to some extent theraputic. And of course it my Mistress an excuse to berate me still further which is a bonus.
Interesting. Finding chores relaxing or therapeutic sounds a bit like the situation described by Mistress Blunt with her submissive that I featured a few posts back. Personally, I think I’d find it difficult to shift mental gears in a session like that, but I can see how it could be helpful in an extended scene to vary the pace and intensity. Still a sense of focus and flow, but in a different way.
Thanks for commenting and sharing thoughts!
-paltego
Whatever service a submissive provides to their Domme above all else it should be low maintenance for her. That being said, in a long term relationship or marriage, it might take some time and patience (I’m often lacking in both) to give the sub an opportunity to build the skill sets they need. Maybe a poly type household is the answer with highly specialized service submissives, each of them bringing their own skill set to the table, bedroom, dungeon, etc.
Diane
I think a lot of the problem is that guys identify as being interested in service, when what they really mean is they want kinky play that just happens to look like service. Cleaning as performance rather than actual cleaning. Honesty and self-reflection would be a good step for all subs to understand what makes them tick.
If they’re genuinely interested in service then yes, time and patience might definitely still be required! I have read of a few dommes with multiple slaves with different specializations, so that can work, but I’ve read of a lot more who gave up on the whole idea :-).
Thanks for stopping by,
-paltego
I’ve been in 4 long term (more than a few weeks) cleaning/service submission situations, plus a few “one-offs” (decorating/serving at a holiday party; cleaning some infirm guy’s apartment at the behest and direction of a domme; doing it as a try-out for a new domme to see if she liked it, etc). I think in every situation the domme would say it was great for them and low maintenance. In two of the long term situations, after a while, the domme was often not even there. I had keys, went in and cleaned and did whatever else they needed, and left. Those two lasted for beyond 6 months — one much longer. A third went well but, frankly, she was too slovenly for me. She had 3 small dogs, never cleaned (I was the only one that did any cleaning and I came once every other week or so). The place smelled terrible and it was like truckers lived their. She also liked massages, which was nice for me, and she liked me to wear the maid’s uniform (also nice) – but I couldn’t sustain. That lasted maybe a few months. A fourth was an every week, or every other week, at a commercial dungeon. Actually, there were a couple of those over the years, now that I think about it, but only one really lasted.
I know a lot of dommes complain that having a “service” slave is more trouble than it’s worth, but I think it’s just a matter of finding the right match. I know of several others that have long term relationship where it works out. I’m thinking of Porky and PainPup, for example. Anyway, great topic. I wish the author had been more into it, but I’m glad her roommate was.
I’d never thought about the case of a domme being too messy for a submissive! Obviously slovenly dommes must exist, but never really thought about the implications of that :-).
My guess is that success depends in part on the dommes patience and willingness to try new potential slaves out looking for that match. Plus, of course some degree of luck, in interests, people, time and place all aligning. As you say, there are definitely some positive stories out there.
Thanks for sharing your experiences. Interesting to hear how the various situations worked out for you. Sounds like you actually know how to do service properly without any micro-management.
Cheers,
-paltego
To be honest, my very first day cleaning for a domme went badly. She’d left me alone to clean and came back and was dissatisfied. I thought that was the end there. But she then showed me what she wanted done and how to do it. There were other modifications over time, but a couple of hours of initial training I think paid dividends for her. Everyone likes their place cleaned a certain way, and with certain cleaning products, so up front training is key (I think), especially with people who haven’t had a lot of training or experience.
That sounds like good advice. Makes me wonder how many of these situations fail because of unclear communication at the start versus a lack of effort or attention to detail from the submissive. Impossible to know I guess. Combining people who are very particular about how they want something done with people without the necessary expertise in doing it will definitely take careful negotiation!
Cheers,
-paltego