Cosmopolitan Magazine has an article out celebrating femdom and male submission as the ‘hot new thing.’ It always makes me happy to see positive femdom coverage in mainstream media. Destigmatizing it for women who might want to give it a try is great. At the same time, these kind of articles tend to have their fair share of eye rolling comments and this is no exception.
I was particularly amused by this part…
For many, there isn’t a traditionally sexual element — Sarah’s submissives, for example, have their genitals locked in chastity cages.
I mean I guess it’s not traditional to lock your dick up, but it’s sure as hell a sexual element. Chastity is all about sex, even if there’s no actual sex being had.
The other annoying part of the article is the references to the ‘default’ of male domination and this new ‘trend’ changing things up. When I think of actual BDSM and kinky content creators over the years, femdom has always been a huge part of it. The centralizing of men in the default dominant role in kink came from societies stereotypes, filtering from there into conventional porn, not the other way around. As one of the submissives interview in the article puts it…
maybe we’re all more open about where the baseline of kinky sexuality has always been
The artwork is by the great Eric Stanton. A man celebrating femdom decades before American society decided it was safe for women to be in charge of their own credit.
Great post, great image, and agree with you on all counts! Whenever I’m locked into my ‘chastity’ cage, unchaste sexy thoughts (focused on the key holder) are all I can think of.
And the notion that male domination has been (and therefore somehow always should be) the default was always infuriating to me.
Glad to hear you liked the post/image. I’ve never played with a chastity cage, but your description is very much how I imagine it 🙂
Cheers,
-paltego
Interesting. Thank-you.
For me, chastity is much more about feeling controlled and dominated. It’s about the idea that I feel my Domme’s control and authority all the time – 24/7.
Being in a chastity cage changes everything: how you sit; how you use the toilet; how you dress; how you wash… It also affects how you organise your life: seeing the doctor; going to the gym; going swimming… So you are constantly aware of your submission to your Domme.
And this is on top of the obvious point of being denied any form of penis-based sexual activity.
What was most thrilling and fulfilling for me was that it felt like a change to who I was. It felt as though my Domme was turning me into something else. I was no longer a sexual being. I had been turned into someone who simply does not have sex any more. It was wonderful.
To the surprise of both of us, my wife also liked my being in a cage. She is completely vanilla, but she found it a turn-on. Moreover, it meant that when we had sex, everything was focused on her enjoyment. My only pleasure was in giving pleasure to her. She even found ways to use my cage for…fun (I trust my meaning is clear).
Being in chastity was, paradoxically, extremely liberating. There was a whole area of my life (including ‘performance anxiety’ during sex) that I no longer had to worry about, or make choices about. Part of my joy in submission comes from handing over my decision-making to someone else. It is – for me, at any rate – incredibly liberating to have the burden of choices and decisions taken away (by someone you trust, of course). Chastity gave me that feeling of submissive freedom.
So, you could well say that, for me, it was non-sexual.