Tag: Whip

What are you?

The terminology in BDSM is always a source of confusion for me, and in particular the labels people attach to themselves and each other. I remember joining fetlife and being stumped by the mutually exclusive set of options they provided. I think my choices included submissive, bottom, masochist, slave, fetishist and kinkster. I kind of get masochist and fetishist. But what’s the difference between submissive and bottom? Or submissive and slave? Where does kinkster fit in? And why are these mutually exclusive decisions? Can I not have an ‘All of the above’ option?

I was therefore happy to stumble on this post by the very knowledgeable Irene Boss which gives her thoughts on the definitions of these terms. From a personal perspective I also particularly enjoyed the following comment in the article.

It is not uncommon for me to bond (and become friends) with a submissive masochist who also digs bondage, which is the rarest and most enjoyable breed of client for me.

I think that combo of labels captures my particular predilections fairly well. So while I’m guessing it’s unlikely I’ll ever be friends with Irene Boss, it’s nice to know I might make an enjoyable client! Although I am a little surprised by the rarity, as she observes it, of that specific kinky wiring.

When it comes to the D side of the equation, there are an equally mixed set of labels: Dominant, Mistress (or Master), Top and Sadist. But it seems people feel a lot more relaxed about using these interchangeable, or at least that’s my impression. Sadist has a very clear and distinct definition, but the other three get used and swapped fairly freely. I wonder if that’s down to the existence of professional dominants, who are happy to blur their personal boundaries in order to work with a wide variety of clients. Or if it’s a natural outcome that flows from the attitude of a typical dominant personality. i.e. Less obsession with labels and less need to carefully categorize their preferences.

Of course none of this even touches on the idea of a switch, which adds a whole new dimension to the matrix!

So what are you? And do you think the label is useful or matters in anyway?

Mistress with SlaveAn illustration of a Mistress/Top/Dominant/Sadist/Kinkster/Fetishist with a Slave/Submissive/Bottom/Masochist/Fetishist/Kinkster (strike all that aren’t applicable depending on your preferences).

OK, so I’ll admit, the image doesn’t relate to much to the text. But I liked it and wanted some eye candy to end the post!

Classic Femdom

From the vintage femdom in the last post, we jump forward 70 or so years to some classic femdom, with the late great Bettie Page. I was never personally a great fan of her bondage shots, as they always tend to the ‘loose clothesline draped vaguely over limbs’ school of bondage. But occasionally I’ll come across an image like this one which reminds me why she become such an iconic fetish figure.

Bettie PageFound on the Suicide Blonde tumblr site.

Decadence

There’s nothing too unusual (in the world of this blog at least) about beautiful imposing women in leather. But something about adding fur into the mix creates a far more decadent and sensual image. I think it would add an interesting component to a scene, a powerful contrasting element between the pain and discomfort of the submissive and the relaxed mistress luxuriating in a thick fur.

The two women in question here are Cybill B. Troy (a pro-domme based out of NYC) and Delilah Doi (who I can’t locate a current website for).

Cybill B. Troy and Delilah DoiImage was taken from Cybill B. Troy’s gallery pages. If you’re in the New York area, then she’s available for sessions.

Whipping

Mistress Katya had some poetic words to say about her whips on a recent forum post.

This may also sound absurd but each whip holds a personality within them. My morgan is playful but to the point. It’s my all purpose whip and my most comforting one. It’s like carrying a teddy bear with you. I feel “off” if I don’t have it with me. My Tellas are a little more serious. Sexy black and broken in, they mean business. When I’m using these, it’s because I want to send a message.

The Patterson dragon tail is playful in a very sadistic manner. It’s cute, sexy and will fuck you up. The burn is different then the other whips, it’s like kissing your lover after he ate a ghost pepper. That kiss that burns forever but feels so good as well.

Mistress Katya in a forum post at ‘The Hang’

This caught my eye for two reasons. Firstly, it’s just damn sexy. I want to be in on the receiving end of the kiss that burns forever. To relax and linger in her whips embrace.

Secondly, I think it’s a beautiful illustration of the pleasure a top can take in her tools and from a type of play. There’s often a lot of attention payed to the reaction of the submissive: adrenalin, endorphins, marks and bruising, sub-space, etc. But speaking personally, one of a key components of a good scene for me is that the top is also really enjoying themselves. I don’t want to be with someone just going through the motions. A good scene should be highly sensual, a gratification of senses for both the sadist and the masochist. Ideally it should be a shared intimate act. Not simply a fun fair ride for the submissive.

90’s Flashback (completed)

Underling has an interesting blog post about BDSM pornography in the days before the internet made it widespread and easily available.

….I remember occasional visits to the seedy back rooms of certain London bookshops. There I rubbed shoulders with fellow perverts (perhaps some of you among them!), all of us studiously avoiding eye contact while waiting with barely concealed impatience for access to the spanko shelves…

From Underling’s post entitled ‘In the back room’

I was fortunate, in that the window between me being old enough to actually purchase porn and the internet becoming a ubiquitous presence was only a year or two. But for a short period of time in the early 90’s, during my college years, I did do a bit of furtive shopping of my own. The magazines I purchased in that time were treasured and well thumbed possessions. So when I stumbled across the image below, despite the late of watermark, I instantly recognized it as one from the Cruella family of magazines. Specifically a magazine I’d owned called Goddess number 16.

However, unlike Underling, I had been spared the need to trawl around seedy shops in Soho to acquire it. I was saved by the strangest little shop I have ever encountered. In ’94 I was working in a small British seaside town during my summer break from college. A few hundred yards from my lodgings was an old fashioned newsagents, run by an old Indian gentleman and his extended family. It was a tiny corner shop, square in shape, with just a single counter against one wall, and three magazine racks covering the other walls. It looked like it had been frozen in time since the 1950’s. And yet it carried the largest collection of pornographic magazines, and in particular BDSM and fetish magazines, that I’ve ever seen. Everything was there: Janus, Februs, Kane, Cruella, Goddess, Victoria, Obey, etc. He even carried magazine special editions and spanking novels. For a young and nervous femdom aficionado it was like a little piece of pornographic heaven.*

I’ve no idea if the owner of the shop was actually a fan of kinky porn, or just a fan of the higher profit margins it commanded. But whatever the reason, God bless him for it.

Goddess magazine* Apart from those times when he put his younger daughters to work in the shop. Then it became a place to purchase chewing gum whilst studious avoiding looking at the enormous wall of explicit pornographic material.

Pensive Domme

This is the kind of image that needs a caption competition. If she pondering the inherent contradiction in the idea of freely given slavery and the nondualism of pain and suffering? Or is she trying to remember if she needs to buy more milk on the way home? Whatever she’s thinking, it’s rare to see a BDSM image of someone looking thoughtful, pensive and maybe a touch sad. It makes for an interesting change.

Pensive DommeThis is from the Sub Miss fetish photography site. You can find a number of other intriguing galleries there, including a large version of this image and its sequence of asssociated images.

Added Stig to Femdom Artwork

I’ve re-organized the femdom artwork page into three separate pages. It was getting too big and cumbersome as a single page. Hopefully this new arrangement will allow me to add more artists without the load time bogging down for all my readers.

Stig is the first artist added into this new structure. His work may not be the most sophisticated or visually appealing in the femdom domain, but it does possess a strong underlying sense of sadism, which gives it a certain appeal.

Stig

Lydia with whip

I spent a happy but painful few hours earlier this week on the receiving end of Lady Lydia’s whips and canes. So in honor of that, here’s a nice shot of her doing what she does so brilliantly. Despite the watermark text, this is taken from a men in pain session that she filmed for them in 2007.

Lady Lydia with WhipLady Lydia has a session space is Seattle if you want to see her in person, or a good collection of clips if Seattle isn’t in your travel plans anytime soon.