Uniform – Page 5 – Femdom Resource

The healing power (or not) of BDSM

As I mentioned in previous posts, I was in San Francisco a couple of weeks ago. Unfortunately, the day before I flew down, a nasty bug hit me. It wasn’t enough to knock me out entirely, but it did leave me feeling pretty rotten. That presented a conundrum. Normally if I’m sick I don’t play. Bottoming in a scene takes a lot of energy, which I don’t have if I’m unwell. I want to ensure that I’m warm, rested and hydrated, not naked, beaten and sweaty. However, in this case I had a limited window of opportunity. I’d set up sessions with Mistress Yuki and Mistress Ai-Li, and I was only in town for a handful of days. I didn’t want to miss out on getting together, and I didn’t want to mess them around by cancelling. They were happy to deal with the less than healthy me, but how would I cope?

In the end I came up with what I thought was a cunning plan: I’d try and make my reactions to the session work for me. Specifically, I’d try and use the endorphins generated to power through my vacation. I normally have a post session buzz than can last for hours or even days. So I figured I’d leave my body to fight the nasty virus, while I floated through the trip on a BDSM induced high. I’d still have the symptoms, but maybe I just wouldn’t care.

With my cunning plan in place, the next question was: What type of session should it be? Ideally it needed to be something calm, meditative and involve a lot of lying down on my part. I wanted the endorphins, but I also had a sore throat, so anything involving heavy pain and screaming was a non-starter. Given a fuzzy stuffy head, heavy breathplay was out, as was any kind of gag. Ultimately I decided piercing was the perfect solution. Painful and ritualistic enough to get me juiced with all the right brain chemicals, but not extreme enough to stress my body or drain my energy.

Unfortunately, I’m sad to say that while the theory might have sounded good, in practice my plan was slightly less cunning that I had originally thought. On the plus side, the immediate reaction was all I had hoped for. Mistress Yuki and Mistress Ai-Li did a brilliant job and I left appropriately floaty. That lasted for several hours and allowed me to do typical vacation stuff with my friends. At that point, I then crashed, and crashed hard. It wasn’t sub drop. I guess it was virus drop. Or getting-needles-through-the-genitals-while-sick drop. I basically ended up wiped out for 48 hours, and feeling worse than I had before the session. Just to double check my data, I ran the whole experiment again a few days later and got exactly the same results. Great for the few hours while the initial endorphin hit lasts, terrible after that.

In conclusion I’d suggest that if you’re sick and have a critical job interview or task to accomplish, then BDSM may help. Get yourself tied and tortured in your preferred fashion immediately beforehand, and you’ll float through feeling great. But if your goal is simply to get better as fast as possible, I’d avoid getting down with your kinky self. That is unless your kink involves warm drinks, restful naps and watching daytime TV on your couch.

This image is by the Australian photographer Peter Coulson. I do have some personal shots taken from my San Francisco sessions that I’ll put together for a later post.

Abusing a term

I maintain a Google alert on the term ‘dominatrix’. I originally figured that if the term popped up in a news article it’d be a likely article for me to post about. In actuality what it means is that I get an endless stream of links to articles featuring celebrities wearing something that, if you squint and don’t concentrate too hard, could be vaguely considered to be fetish wear. It doesn’t seem to matter what it is, or what the context is, just so long as it’s slightly non-conventional.

Some of them I kind of understand (for example this) while others are completely ridiculous (for example this). The latest example, and one that falls firmly into the ridiculous camp, is Kylie Minogue, with this and then this. Kylie is undoubtedly a very attractive woman, but I’ve played with a lot of amazing dommes, and not one of them has worn anything like those outfits. If you’re going to call something a dominatrix outfit then may I suggest this outfit by Mistress Shae Flanigan as a reference point? Obviously you can be dominant in anything you damn well choose, including fuzzy slippers. But if you’re going to invoke cliches, at least make sure it’s an accurate one.

Autonomy continued

At the risk of making the blog endlessly self-referential, I’m going to continue the theme of autonomy from yesterday’s post, and respond to an interesting comment that was left. You can read the whole thing here but the essence of it was: What about 24×7 mistress/slave relationship that doesn’t use safewords? That is a loss of autonomy, but in the context of a loving trusting relationship. How can that be abuse?

I think the issue of safewords in this context is a red herring. I also don’t use safewords when I play with people I know well. I trust they’ll play safely and respond when I communicate a problem. And in the context of an daily 24×7 relationship it’d be kind of weird to safeword. They’re really a very specific safety mechanism that’s useful when doing particular types of scenes or playing with someone new.

What I think is key is that the slave always has an option to step-back and renegotiate (in the loosest and most general sense of that word). Ultimately they must always have the option to walk away. That doesn’t necessarily give the slave control of the relationship. The dominant might simply say it’s my way or the highway, and that single simple choice to consent might carry a lot of significant implications. But meaningful consent can only come from autonomy – from the ability to make an un-coerced decision. If you don’t have that then you can’t consent. And if you don’t consent then that’s an abusive relationship.

I was going to go on to say that you can never negotiate away the need for consent, but with further thought I’m not sure that’s true. I can conceive of doing it for short time periods. For example, a heavy corporal scene where a submissive agrees to be tied down and given 12 stripes of the cane with no option for escape. That seems a reasonable situation for a submissive to briefly give up his autonomy entirely. It might be painful, but it’s not dangerous, and it’s for a very limited time period. I don’t think it’s reasonable to stretch that kind of agreement for weeks or months. I’m not sure where that line is drawn, but I’m sure there is one.

Of course there is one scenario where a lack of autonomy doesn’t necessarily imply abuse, and that’s if you’re unlucky enough to be caught up in the penal system. Prisons don’t go much for negotiated scenes and safewords. I’m not sure what crime the man below committed, or what police department issued her uniform, but I’m sure justice will be served.

The image is by the very talented artist Vernice61. I believe she’s saying ‘And drink it down!”

Understated uniform

Apologies for the lack of posts this weekend. Once again I had plans for stuff to write and, once again, life got in the way. I hate it when that happens.

To start the new week, here’s a nicely composed example of a well worked theme – a dominant lady in a military uniform. This is Lady Stella of Studio Avalon. There are a million shots in this genre floating around, but I like this particular example because it’s quite understated. It’s not a crazy over the top uniform. The camera isn’t shooting from the worms eye viewpoint. And she’s standing on what appears to be a military parade ground. It looks like a great starting point for a serious and intense roleplay.

A uniform done right

Or if not right, at least better than the slightly over the top latex number in yesterday’s post. This is a lot more understated. I like the way their outfits captures the essence of uniforms, without actually being specific uniforms. I think that’s the ideal roleplay attire. You want to capture the idea for the scene, without tying yourself tightly to a facsimile of reality.

This is by the photographer Gui Paganini for ffw magazine. You can see more images from the same shoot here. I originally found the image via the Derekisme tumblr.

Military chic

F/f imagery doesn’t get featured here that often, but after yesterday’s example, I thought a couple more posts on the theme wouldn’t be too out of place.

I have to admit to a bit of kink for military uniforms. It’s not something I actively pursue, but should they happen to come my way, I’m never unhappy. Like a lot of uniforms they carry the suggestion of authority. On top of that they add a dash of danger and style that a police or nurse outfit just doesn’t have. Officer outfits in particular are designed to impress socially rather than be utilitarian. As a fan of history, elegant tailoring and authority figures, they’re a win all around for me.

I believe this one is based on a Prussian cavalry outfit from Napoleonic times. German military uniforms tend to present unique problems of their own thanks to certain historical events. Fortunately in this period the bad guy was a short Corsican with a flair for military command. Or at least that’s what my British history books taught me. So thanks to Blücher, and the fact Germany didn’t even exist as a unified entity at the time, we can enjoy this one with no moral qualms.

I like the subtle D/s vibe in this image. It’s not completely clear whose in charge, but there’s definitely a suggestion of power dynamics at work. It’s by the photographer Yuri Iluhin. I found it on the Selina Minx tumblr.

Ruthless people

I was amused to read this article in GQ on a company that offers a kidnapping service. For a thousand dollars or so they’ll kidnap you, hold you hostage and do a bit of sadistic roleplaying. You even get your choice of kidnappers – either standard male goons or a team of ‘Elite Girls’ in microskirts and stripper heels.

What made me smile was how the writer seemed unaware of the very strong BDSM components. It makes absolutely no mention of that angle, whilst describing things like scene negotiation, safewords, bondage, etc. Pro-dommes have been fulfilling these kind of fantasies for years. Lydia even has an isolation cell she can store her victims in prior to an interrogation. Pretty much any major city will have a pro-domme who’ll be able to offer a kidnap and torture session, so I’m not sure why the writer felt he had to fly to Detroit to experience it.

Of course if you want a really exciting scene, you need a heartless family member on the phone refusing to pay the ransom. Hearing your wife opt for a new kitchen over freeing you would add an interesting frisson to the experience. I always enjoyed Danny Devito playing the heartless husband in Ruthless People.

The image comes courtesy of the Uniform Beauties site and the creative captioning from Servitor over at Contemplating the Divine.

Not a strictly the regulation uniform

While I’m on the theme of peaked military caps, here’s a particularly beautiful image featuring one. The cap reminds me of something from the era of the first World War, although her body stocking isn’t quite of the same vintage. It’s the colors that really captured my attention. The gorgeous tone of her skin and the muted but warm notes in the costume. Plus, she appears to be using her crop as a back scratcher rather than theatrically brandishing it, which makes an interesting change.

The photograph features the model St Merrique and was taken by Tom Lane (free deviant art account needed for both links). You can see other shots from the same series in Tom’s deviant art gallery. I originally found this image on the Mostly Femdom tumblr.

Revisiting the cliché

The peaked cap is a classic look for dominants of both sexes. For female dommes it’s up there with leather corsets, boots and snarling expressions as clichéd elements of the ‘look’.

Personally I was never much of a fan. It struck me as just too stereotypical and ripe for parody. However, having done a session with a domme wearing one, I’m beginning to warm to them. It wasn’t something that I’d requested. I’m not a fetishist and I’m always happy for the dominant to choose and wear whatever she feels like. It even provoked a smile from me when I saw her with it, but in the scene it definitely added something and pushed some of my submissive buttons.

I’d always assumed that the power of the idea came from the military association. Officers wear them, and officers give the orders. There’s definitely an aspect that carries through from that. But I also wonder if there’s something more basic about the design. The horizontal line of the cap helps emphasize the line of the eyes, framing the face and pulling the attention to the wearers gaze. It also hides the softer hair and squares off the head, creating an aggressive profile. It even offers the wearer a degree of control over what they reveal, helping to shield their face is they so desire. I’d always though the military adoption had been an accident of history and BDSM had simply borrowed the psychological aura that came with them. Perhaps there’s actually something more fundamental about the design that makes it work well for both groups.

This is the model Kay Morgan in a photo shot by phoebus-photos. You can see her in a different angle from the same shoot here. I found the above shot on the S.I.N. tumblr.

Do to yourself as you’d have others do to you

I was recently entertained by the story of a Catholic priest who locked himself in handcuffs and had to call 911 to escape them. The linked article even has the audio of the call, complete with the dispatcher asking where he was (the rectory) and did he work there (he admitted he did). The thing I found surprising wasn’t the restraint loving priest, but the slightly incredulous tone of the dispatcher. In a previous life I spent some months working with operators answering emergency calls and, like ER doctors, nothing seemed to really faze them. They’d heard it all before.

Part of me feels a little sorry for the good Father. I’m sure a lot of kinky people experimented with self-bondage when they were young. I know I did, and it was more good luck than judgement that saved me from any similarly embarrassing public situations. On the other hand the priest in question works for Bishop Thomas Paprocki. His various claims to fame include blaming the lawsuits resulting from the Catholic child abuse scandal on the devil, attacking gay marriage as discrimination against Christians and preaching that voting Democrat will send you to hell. Anyone keeping company with a fine ‘Christian’ like that doesn’t get a lot of sympathy from me.

Next time the kinky clergyman feels the urge to restrain himself from sin, he should find himself a Nun to help out. She can take care of the handcuff keys and also any flagellation that might be necessary for such a naughty priest. Perhaps the young lady below would be willing to ensure he repents properly?

You might be surprised to learn that this very authentically costumed ‘nun’ has not actually taken her holy vows. It’s the model Miranda Kerr, as photographed by Greg Kadel for Numéro magazine. I originally stumbled across it on the Kinky Games tumblr.