Management training

This image made me laugh. It’s so bizzare, and yet it kind of works. The blond ladies gesturing and the stare of the group – either down at him or up at her – seems to fit so well. I imagined it at as this weirdest management training course ever. They’re about to break into different groups and use the flip charts to brainstorm the pros and cons of having a toilet slave in an open plan office culture.

Of course it’s a Photoshop fake. You can see the original here, which is from the Red Hook Community Justice center. They help out NYC communities and court system, and definitely do not pee into the mouths of naked slaves. I congratulate them on their community spirit and I congratulate the original photoshopper for creating one of the most unusual yet successful photo modifications that I’ve seen.

ManagementTraining

Purple pineapples in Oklahoma

Whiplr has done a survey of the most popular safe words used in America. The results are not particularly surprising, with colors and fruit featuring heavily. What did make me smile was the title of the article on the survey – ‘15 Safe Word Ideas For When You Want To Get Kinky‘. Personally I think that if you need ideas to help pick a safe word, and that was the thing holding you back from getting kinky, you probably have bigger problems. I’m all for more people exploring their sexuality, but if you’re not smart enough to come up with a safe word on your own, you shouldn’t be anywhere near whips, rope, nipple clamps or indeed anything more complex than a coloring book.

I initially assumed that the ‘Fire!’ in the image below was either a reference to putting out a fire or firing away. But maybe that’s actually his safe word? After all, I’d be tempted to safe word in his position. Peeing on me is one thing, but doing it on the bed sheets is quite another. That would add a whole new terror to sleeping in the wet spot.

Fire

Taking a tinkle

I like the United States. I’ve enjoyed living here and I can’t see myself leaving. Yet, despite the fact I’ve been here over 15 years, it can sometimes still feel like a very foreign place. The so called culture wars rage here with an intensity and strangeness that doesn’t seem to exist in Western Europe. There are some toxic topics here – abortion, guns, goverment regulation, religion in public life –  that are unique to the history of the place. You can live here for years and not understand why they create such passionate debate.

Occasionally these culture wars wage a battle by strange proxies. The latest example of this is the public bathroom. Having failed to stop gay people have sex and get married, some conservatives have decided to draw the line at transgender people using the bathroom. Fighting for such a ridiculous cause is perhaps indicative of the desperation of their position, but that doesn’t stop it being any less harmful to transgender people.

Vox has a good article on the history of this and how it’s being used as way to generally attack LGBT rights. John Oliver also did his usual excellent job of demolishing some of the bullshit arguments involved here. Although perhaps my favorite piece of political activism comes from Shakina Nayfack who is touring North Carolina (current epicenter of the battle) and peeing in a lot of urinals.

Of course other countries have their issues with bathrooms as well. For example, based on this image, it looks like Japan has an issue with men getting trapped in ladies toilets. I just hope she spots him before it’s too late. Otherwise the poor chap might get awfully wet.

BathroomThis is from the Team Rinryu site.

Romance

I’ve never been a fan of Valentine’s day. Whether I’m single or dating, I’ve always thought it was a silly artificial holiday. Although possibly that attitude might explain why I am currently single. Anyway, whatever my romantic failings, if you’ve come here looking for a post featuring cupids, hearts and submissives bearing chocolates, then you’ve come to the wrong place. Instead let me offer you something much more interesting – Lobster Fucking.

I guess I should clarify that I mean lobsters fucking lobsters, not any kind of perverse cross-species relationships. There are limits to how kinky I’m willing to go. As this article makes clear, how lobsters get it on is fascinating. Their courtship last days, features tease and denial, a seductive female and copious amounts of piss play. Appropriately enough, for a blog like this one, it’s most the female pissing on the male to grab his attention. That’s an approach that would certain liven up the typical romantic restaurant on Valentine’s night.

Oddly enough, there’s isn’t a lot of femdom imagery featuring lobsters. Or crustacean of any kind. So instead I’ve gone with the watersports angle. This artwork is by Namio Harukawa. It’s a little subtler than some of his other piss play pictures, but given where the man’s head is, I think we all know what’s going on.

Toilet

Smile for the camera

This photograph put a smile on my face. Not so much for the act portrayed, but for the contrasts on display. They’re indulging in a fairly hardcore kinky activity, but she’s got a big grin and a relaxed casual pose. With careful cropping you could believe it was a cheesy pinup shot from a 70’s nude calendar. Normally I don’t like it when models appear more interested with the photographer than with each other, but this is happy enough to work. I wonder if this is post or pre-pee?

OWK toilet sceneThe image is of course from the now sadly defunct Other World Kingdom aka OWK.

Dirty talk

While I’m on the subject of watersports (see last post), let me take the opportunity to talk about the comedian Jim Norton. This less than obvious segue will become clear if you take a look at this video of him being interviewed by Amy Schumer. As far as comedians go, she’s not afraid to work a little blue, but even she seems nonplussed by Jim’s version of dirty talk.

Jim made headlines recently when he wrote about his personal experiences as a sex worker client and defended the idea of sex work. The usual crowd provided their standard knee jerk response to this, which automatically equates any kind of sex+money with trafficking and abuse, while simultaneously denigrating the people who do choose to work this way. Fortunately, scattered amongst the idiotic and ill conceived articles, there was some better ones that tackled the issue with some thought.

Given his comments in Amy’s interview, this seems a very appropriate image to feature. It’s by the always brilliant Sardax and was a commission for the lovely Mistress Darcy. She’s a New York and London based domme, and is someone I’d love to play with should our paths every intersect.

Toilet by Sardax for Mistress Darcy

There’s always a queue for the ladies bathroom

Playing with several people simultaneously isn’t too unusual in BDSM circles. Most pro-dommes will offer double or even triple-domme sessions and, on the lifestyle side, play parties help facilitate public interaction with multiple casual partners. Some guys are even lucky enough to get beaten down by four fabulous women. Compared to the mechanics of regular vanilla sex, with its orifice and appendage pairing issues, BDSM seems a lot easier to coordinate in groups.

All that said, I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything quite like this before. That’s 22 women and 1 guy. I particularly like the fact that some of the women at the back are holding crops. Clearly they’re not just an audience, but plan to be close enough to use them at some point. Hopefully nobody suffers from a shy bladder.

Toilet scene featuring 22 women and 1 guy

I should warn readers that the site this comes from features fairly strong content, including scat play. If you’re OK with that then check out the rinryu blog. I believe it’s run by the creators of the infamous yapoo film series.

Extraordinary aim

This is kind of a screwed up image. It’s by German Jim and, like a lot of his work, has a composite feel to it. The vintage drawing seems to have been married with a photograph for the face.

However, artist techniques aside, what’s really odd is the aim of the lady. I’ve done a number of GS scenes and, to be frank, women are not the best aimers in the world. They don’t have the pipework for it. If they can hit my mouth, from a few inches away, seven out of ten times, then I consider myself ahead of the game. Hitting the target from a standing position while staring in a different direction and wearing a big skirt, well that’s a goddam miracle. I’m blessed with better aiming equipment, and I couldn’t pull this shot off. This lady should pee for the Olympics.

German Jim

Suffering for his art

The photographs below are the work of DanAkuma on deviantART (free sign-up required to view). And I really do mean all his own work, in the truest sense of the word. He’s the photographer, rigger, editor and sole model. He uses a real doll to stand in for the domme and then composes together photographs that are taken on a timer. He describes a little of how the first shot was created in the gallery comments.

It took a good hour to get the angle right with the right lens to show off both of us in equal proportions in the frame…
… it was 3 days worth of post to correct certain things like getting rid of the tripod legs, and warping the top part of my body to the right, so my head is inside the toilet (it was actually next to it when I took the photo), then adding all the shadows in.
Dan Akuma

I think they’re very creative images in their own right, let alone for something created by someone performing in every possible role. I always enjoy seeing someone with an imaginative vision just go for it, and do whatever it takes to realize it.

Double Jeopardy by Dan Akuma
Ownership by Dan Akuma

Straddling the toilet

Yesterdays post on gags and forced consumption put me on the hunt for similar material. Here’s a nice shot featuring a whitehead gag, along with a leash and some painful looking nipple clamps. While he’s no doubt aware of what’s about to happen, the blindfold adds that little element of suspense.

I have to admit that while this looks kind of fun, I personally prefer a more controlled and close-up approach. I think some submissives get off on the idea of being pissed on, where some consumption may also happen. It’s more of a humiliation vibe for them. For others the consumption is the key act, and being liberally sprayed from a distance almost feels like a waste. That’s more a worship approach. I’m definitely in the latter camp. I don’t find being pissed on particularly humiliating, it’s just wet messy fun. Where controlled consumption has a strong D/s dynamic for me.

Of course I could be doing the mistress in this shot a huge disservice. Maybe she has really excellent aim from a standing position.

Mistress straddling gagged manI found this on the Femdom Marriage tumblr site. It’s originally from the Femme Fatale Films site.