When Worlds Collide

Yesterday was one of my typically hedonistic vacation days. The afternoon featured kinky fun with a talented domme. The evening featured a big meal with many wines. Champagne consumption was a common element to both, although the vintage, temperature and volume varied considerably between the two.

The part of the evening that really made me stop and smile wasn’t the French bubbles, but a white Spanish Rioja that strongly reminded me of what I’d been drinking earlier that day. I’m not saying it tasted like pee but, to use a pretentious wine tasting term, it had many similar notes. There were tannins, which gave a slightly tea like taste, some oxidization, a little herbaceousness and a touch of underlying bitterness. It actually paired great with the fish dish that accompanied it, and I resisted the urge to tell the server what I was smiling about. She probably wouldn’t have taken it as a compliment.

It speaks to the quality of the dommes diet that I could make such a comparison. Probably best not to start setting up a bottling plant just yet however. I’m guessing pee doesn’t take to aging the same way wine does.

I’m afraid I have no attribution for this image.

Update: Thanks to a very helpful comment I can now attribute this to the artist Julian Serrano and a series of images he did called A History Of Sex. This is named Leo’s Fantasy. I particularly enjoyed this anecdote from the original exhibition…

The photo called Leo’s Fantasy caused a national stir in liberal Holland when the Groninger Museum — in a simultaneous presentation of this series — chose the picture of girl peeing into the man’s mouth for its poster, and wanted to put it on the tram. Church groups protested, and the courts first said it wasn’t obscene, and then said it was.

Hard to imagine an American museum thinking they could get away with this image on a NYC subway poster. Conservative groups over here would go insane.

Cool Britannia

Despite the British theme, this is actually by an Italian artist, the great Milo Manara (featured previously here). At first and even second glance, I thought it was a watersports image, but she’s actually pouring from a bottle. From other images I’ve found – for example this one – it seems to have been used in a Strongbow Cider advertising campaign. Which I find quite extraordinary. If you’re selling a bright yellow liquid as a mass market beverage, why on earth would you want to make a urine connection? Or associate your product with toilet artwork like this?

I think it’s a great image, but even for those like me, who love femdom and watersports, it’s not the kind of thing I want in my head when I’m ordering a pint of something cool and refreshing at a bar. I guess if the bartender was hot and served it in this fashion, then maybe, but most British pubs don’t offer that kind of customer service. If they did, I might never have left the old country.

I found this on the Female Dominance in Mainstream Media tumblr.

More Scenes from Germany

I couldn’t write about German BDSM studios (as I just was) without mentioning Studio Black Fun. They’re based in Leipzig and, based on their website, have some pretty crazy toys. For example, thisthis and this. It looks skewed to high-tech fetish rather than the more traditional Avalon space, but no less impressive for all that.

There’s one special they offer – Yellow 3D Vision – that has more kinks packed into a single scene than I think I’ve ever observed before. You can see a video of it here. To start with the guy is in a metal chastity device and wearing a full rubber body suit, complete with a custom hood. Then they add bondage via plastic buckles and mummification with a latex sheet. A video headset is used to feed him an image of the scene, while a special toilet is fitted above him, complete with plumbing to his hood. Finally, there are two dommes, both in elaborate fetish gear, one to pee into the toilet and one to film it and feed him the video picture. Frankly, I’m just surprised they didn’t add nipple clamps, an anal plug and a rubber chicken into the scene. That would have been BDSM bingo all in one shot.

If I’m honest, while I might be joking about the scene, I’d actually love to try it out. That level of objectification, coupled with the out-of-body experience the headset/camera would offer, seems pretty hot. The images below show the toilet set-up, in this case with a latex straitjacket and spreader bar. You can see more from this variation here.

Management training

This image made me laugh. It’s so bizzare, and yet it kind of works. The blond ladies gesturing and the stare of the group – either down at him or up at her – seems to fit so well. I imagined it at as this weirdest management training course ever. They’re about to break into different groups and use the flip charts to brainstorm the pros and cons of having a toilet slave in an open plan office culture.

Of course it’s a Photoshop fake. You can see the original here, which is from the Red Hook Community Justice center. They help out NYC communities and court system, and definitely do not pee into the mouths of naked slaves. I congratulate them on their community spirit and I congratulate the original photoshopper for creating one of the most unusual yet successful photo modifications that I’ve seen.

ManagementTraining

Purple pineapples in Oklahoma

Whiplr has done a survey of the most popular safe words used in America. The results are not particularly surprising, with colors and fruit featuring heavily. What did make me smile was the title of the article on the survey – ‘15 Safe Word Ideas For When You Want To Get Kinky‘. Personally I think that if you need ideas to help pick a safe word, and that was the thing holding you back from getting kinky, you probably have bigger problems. I’m all for more people exploring their sexuality, but if you’re not smart enough to come up with a safe word on your own, you shouldn’t be anywhere near whips, rope, nipple clamps or indeed anything more complex than a coloring book.

I initially assumed that the ‘Fire!’ in the image below was either a reference to putting out a fire or firing away. But maybe that’s actually his safe word? After all, I’d be tempted to safe word in his position. Peeing on me is one thing, but doing it on the bed sheets is quite another. That would add a whole new terror to sleeping in the wet spot.

Fire

Taking a tinkle

I like the United States. I’ve enjoyed living here and I can’t see myself leaving. Yet, despite the fact I’ve been here over 15 years, it can sometimes still feel like a very foreign place. The so called culture wars rage here with an intensity and strangeness that doesn’t seem to exist in Western Europe. There are some toxic topics here – abortion, guns, goverment regulation, religion in public life –  that are unique to the history of the place. You can live here for years and not understand why they create such passionate debate.

Occasionally these culture wars wage a battle by strange proxies. The latest example of this is the public bathroom. Having failed to stop gay people have sex and get married, some conservatives have decided to draw the line at transgender people using the bathroom. Fighting for such a ridiculous cause is perhaps indicative of the desperation of their position, but that doesn’t stop it being any less harmful to transgender people.

Vox has a good article on the history of this and how it’s being used as way to generally attack LGBT rights. John Oliver also did his usual excellent job of demolishing some of the bullshit arguments involved here. Although perhaps my favorite piece of political activism comes from Shakina Nayfack who is touring North Carolina (current epicenter of the battle) and peeing in a lot of urinals.

Of course other countries have their issues with bathrooms as well. For example, based on this image, it looks like Japan has an issue with men getting trapped in ladies toilets. I just hope she spots him before it’s too late. Otherwise the poor chap might get awfully wet.

BathroomThis is from the Team Rinryu site.

Romance

I’ve never been a fan of Valentine’s day. Whether I’m single or dating, I’ve always thought it was a silly artificial holiday. Although possibly that attitude might explain why I am currently single. Anyway, whatever my romantic failings, if you’ve come here looking for a post featuring cupids, hearts and submissives bearing chocolates, then you’ve come to the wrong place. Instead let me offer you something much more interesting – Lobster Fucking.

I guess I should clarify that I mean lobsters fucking lobsters, not any kind of perverse cross-species relationships. There are limits to how kinky I’m willing to go. As this article makes clear, how lobsters get it on is fascinating. Their courtship last days, features tease and denial, a seductive female and copious amounts of piss play. Appropriately enough, for a blog like this one, it’s most the female pissing on the male to grab his attention. That’s an approach that would certain liven up the typical romantic restaurant on Valentine’s night.

Oddly enough, there’s isn’t a lot of femdom imagery featuring lobsters. Or crustacean of any kind. So instead I’ve gone with the watersports angle. This artwork is by Namio Harukawa. It’s a little subtler than some of his other piss play pictures, but given where the man’s head is, I think we all know what’s going on.

Toilet

Smile for the camera

This photograph put a smile on my face. Not so much for the act portrayed, but for the contrasts on display. They’re indulging in a fairly hardcore kinky activity, but she’s got a big grin and a relaxed casual pose. With careful cropping you could believe it was a cheesy pinup shot from a 70’s nude calendar. Normally I don’t like it when models appear more interested with the photographer than with each other, but this is happy enough to work. I wonder if this is post or pre-pee?

OWK toilet sceneThe image is of course from the now sadly defunct Other World Kingdom aka OWK.

Dirty talk

While I’m on the subject of watersports (see last post), let me take the opportunity to talk about the comedian Jim Norton. This less than obvious segue will become clear if you take a look at this video of him being interviewed by Amy Schumer. As far as comedians go, she’s not afraid to work a little blue, but even she seems nonplussed by Jim’s version of dirty talk.

Jim made headlines recently when he wrote about his personal experiences as a sex worker client and defended the idea of sex work. The usual crowd provided their standard knee jerk response to this, which automatically equates any kind of sex+money with trafficking and abuse, while simultaneously denigrating the people who do choose to work this way. Fortunately, scattered amongst the idiotic and ill conceived articles, there was some better ones that tackled the issue with some thought.

Given his comments in Amy’s interview, this seems a very appropriate image to feature. It’s by the always brilliant Sardax and was a commission for the lovely Mistress Darcy. She’s a New York and London based domme, and is someone I’d love to play with should our paths every intersect.

Toilet by Sardax for Mistress Darcy

There’s always a queue for the ladies bathroom

Playing with several people simultaneously isn’t too unusual in BDSM circles. Most pro-dommes will offer double or even triple-domme sessions and, on the lifestyle side, play parties help facilitate public interaction with multiple casual partners. Some guys are even lucky enough to get beaten down by four fabulous women. Compared to the mechanics of regular vanilla sex, with its orifice and appendage pairing issues, BDSM seems a lot easier to coordinate in groups.

All that said, I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything quite like this before. That’s 22 women and 1 guy. I particularly like the fact that some of the women at the back are holding crops. Clearly they’re not just an audience, but plan to be close enough to use them at some point. Hopefully nobody suffers from a shy bladder.

Toilet scene featuring 22 women and 1 guy

I should warn readers that the site this comes from features fairly strong content, including scat play. If you’re OK with that then check out the rinryu blog. I believe it’s run by the creators of the infamous yapoo film series.