Bucket Lists

I’m not sure if I should be entertained or depressed by this article on ‘Sexual Bucket Lists’. On the one hand, it makes me feel like a crazed hedonist pushing the boundaries of sexual depravity. Which, given that I’m perceived by my friends as a quiet introvert who doesn’t date much, makes me smile. On the other hand, unless they were surveying a bunch of nuns, I feel bad for the people the lists were based on.

Using a sex toy and and using flavored lubricant both feature as bucket list items for women. How can a fantasy that is literally an Amazon one-click away, be a bucket list worthy item? Expedite the shipping and you can nail 20% of your fantasy list before the weekend. And after you’ve used your phone to place that order, call your partner up and tick off the phone sex fantasy at the same time. Do it in the bath and you’ve nailed 40% of the list without leaving your house.

In fairness, at least the women’s list contains bondage and blindfolds, which is a little more risque. The #1 item on the men’s list is car sex. How is that still a thing? I can just picture the scene – “Hey honey, you know what’d be great? Let’s leave this comfy bed and go get it on in the back of the minivan! It’ll be cold, uncomfortable and full of rubbish from the kids – just the way we like it.” Plus, who doesn’t own or have some sort of access to a car? I get how arranging a threesome can present a logistical challenge, but how hard is it to call Hertz?

I should at least give credit to the men who listed anal sex as their #3 thing to do before they die. There’s still a lot of mainstream stigma around the idea of male anal pleasure, so it’s cheering to know there are plenty of men out there who are up for a good hard pegging.

I’m afraid I’ve no idea who the artist for this is. As always, if you can help me attribute, feel free to leave a comment.

Go to the mirror boy!

Mirrors are a common feature in any play space. They’re a great way to create interesting visuals when the domme is working behind the submissive. In this particular case there’s the additional element of the photographer and the viewer. It’s a very clever composition, creating a sense of chemistry and engagement between the participants while also letting the viewer see that dynamic in multiple ways.

I don’t have a 100% attribution for this. However, based on the content and composition, I’m pretty sure it’s from the StrapOn Dreamer site.

Plotting

This’d be a great image for a caption competition. It’s obviously a porn shot from the strap-on hell site, but what makes the image work isn’t the big fleshy fake dick, but the look being exchanged by the dommes. They seem to have a cunning plan in mind. If he’s lucky, it doesn’t involve the man at all. If it does, then God help him. I can’t think it’ll play out to his advantage.

Pegging Problems

Dan Savage’s advice column is always worth reading. This weeks column caught my eye because it featured a man who enjoyed being pegged and his partner who very occasionally, when the stars aligned, enjoyed doing the pegging. Dan’s advice about talking more and carving out dedicated time was good and wise. However, I did think he missed a trick by not following up on this part of her letter…

I just want to get it over with and move on with our day, not deal with the pageantry of dress up, stiletto heels, collars and cuffs, lubricating buttholes, graduating to bigger dildos in a session, etc.

I’m not averse to a bit of femdom pageantry myself, but it’s always a nice optional bonus when time and circumstances allow, not the main event. You can have a mind blowing pegging scene with just a simple lubricated strap-on. If time and energy are the issue, then cut the fluff rather than dropping the entire event. Hell, if anal play is the goal, then just a disposable glove, a bit of lube and an enquiring finger (or two) can create amazing sensations.

Despite the fact that I’m lucky enough to experience a lot of femdom dress up and elaborate scenes, my personal pegging fantasy features absolutely no kinky accouterments at all. I always picture a snuggly Sunday morning, when our only plans are to sleep in, read the papers and for me to cook Sunday dinner. I’m happily dozing as my partner slips out to grab her harness and slide back into bed with me. There’s no ropes, leather or stiletto’s. Just some nibbling, nuzzling and hot, intimate sex, that happens to be a pegging scene. I guess we always fantasize about what we don’t have.

This pegging artwork is by Jas. She has a Patreon you can support here and merchandise available here.

Sliding into the zone

My LA trip got off to a wonderful start yesterday thanks to a session with Mistress Iris.  Although we’ve played together a number of times in the past, this was the first time we’d actually used a professional playspace. That gave Mistress Iris the chance to show off some of her excellent rope skills and lash me to a wall.

One thing I particularly enjoy about playing with her is the way she eases in and out of the kinky bubble. She’s a genius at creating a relaxed comfortable environment, while at the same time building tension and anticipation. That seems like it should be contradictory, yet somehow it works.

When I first started with kink I was all about getting freaky at maximum speed. Minute one was ‘hello’ and minute two was all about nipple clamps and sticking some needles in my genitals. Now I’m a little more chill. No need to go from 0 to 200 mph in just a few seconds. To continue that analogy, playing with Mistress Iris is like being on a racetrack with an expert driver. It starts off easy, and the speed builds gradually, but before you know it you’re sliding sideways around a bend at some crazy velocity, hanging on for dear life with your adrenaline spiking though the roof. And then she’ll glance across at you, casually controlling everything with one hand on the wheel, and laugh.

This image is from her gallery page. Mistress Iris is typically based in LA, but regular travels. You can keep up with her travel plans here and via her twitter feed.

Intermezzo

Apologies for the short post. My vacation is proving fun but somewhat intense. Yesterday I had a second extended session with Mistress Tess. I’ll feature some photographs from that in a future post. Today I visited an aircraft carrier and then ate way too much food. Tomorrow I’m lucky enough to be playing with Troy Orleans. While my brain may love this kind of high sensation vacation, my body would rather vote for a beach,  spa and yoga type trip.

I actually wanted to write about this twitter thread, as I thought it was an interesting one to tease apart. But I guess I’ll save that for when I’m back in Seattle. In the meantime, here’s a nice image by The Smutty Rogue to celebrate Locktober.

From this post on The Smutty Rogue’s tumblr.

Frustrating Pegging

I like these pegging images, but they’re also kind of annoying. Normally when I have an image by an unknown artist I’ll either trace the name via a reverse image search, or the image will be so rare that I don’t get any good clues to follow. In this case the artist seems to be prolific, with all sorts of similar kinky imagery showing up via a Yandex reverse image search. Yet I can’t see a name, original site or even a good collected gallery anywhere. Just lots of drawings in a similar style (e.g. this one) scattered across a rogues gallery of dodgy sites. I’ve never known a case where there’s such a quantity of work in such a distinctive style, and yet no obvious name.

Obviously, if anyone can tell me exactly who the artist is here, I’d be eternally grateful. I feel like an idiot for not being able to figure it out.

Table for Two

I’ve eaten at many amazing restaurants, but I’ve sadly never enjoyed a table with this kind of backdrop. I think it’s worth a Michelin star all on its own.

Google translates the text as “I take my male in patience” while Bing translates it as “I’m taking my male patient”. Neither one really sounds right, so if I’ve any French speakers out there who can help with a better translation, please let me know via a comment.

Update: Thanks for the many helpful comments on this. I’ll quote Mlle Sadie who gave this description

This is a play on words. “Prendre son MAL (instead of MÂLE) en patience” is a French expression meaning to endure, with resignation, some pain (physical or psychological), some uncomfortable circumstance (think “pain in the ass”!).

So, mal (pain) and mâle (gender) are homonyms the artist has interchanged. The Woman thus endures Her male as/with a “pain in the ass”.

I believe the artist is known as Ladamen Rouge and this was created in Saint Etienne.  Thanks to a helpful comment, this may also be be a collaborative piece with an street artist known as Miss Tic or Miss Trick.

 

Gagging On It

A final concluding post (for the moment) on combining different sexual activities with being a dominant woman. I hadn’t planned this one, but then I saw this tweet from the dominant Miss Pearl and it was too perfect not to feature.

Good: I got more time to gag on his cock, which is a major fetish of mine.

Bad: I gagged on his cock so hard I deposited two tablespoons of throat goop on his dick with a bad plumbing noise and now I am shy.

Hopefully for Miss Pearl and her partner Brick it was only a passing shyness.

As I’ve said many times, there are no dominant or submissive activities. Only dominant or submissive attitudes. You can be a domme who loves gagging on cock or a submissive who enjoys tying someone up. What matters is what you bring to the activity and the dynamic you create.

I’m afraid I don’t have an attribution for this artist.