Great Line or the Greatest Line?

I have to thank Eris Martinet for sharing what might be my favorite chat-up line of all time. I assume it was delivered at a BDSM party and obviously came from a male admirer.

I’ve come to meet you at this party for a free caning. Now would you like to see photos of my Lamborghini?
Via this tweet.

I just love how much is going on and how little self-awareness exists in those few words. It takes real talent to boast about wealth while simultaneously communicating how cheap you are.

For any readers that can’t see the problem then may I also direct your attention to this article – Penis extensions don’t work, study finds. I know there’s no direct connection between these, but I have the feeling that the kind of guy that boasts about his Lamborghini to a domme he just met is also the kind of guy who’d be in the market for a penis extension. It turns out those operations are about as successful as this line was.

This is Miss Martinet (from her social media feed) spanking Mia, who is doubtless a lot more intelligent and courteous in her approach. If you’re interested in being on the receiving end yourself, then Miss Martinet is UK based and specializes in domestic discipline and behavior correction. Her professional site is here. Oddly her contact form doesn’t have a question on it about what vehicle you drive.

Pride in her Work

I normally don’t post images that feature the cliche of the domme staring into the camera while also engaging in a scene. I understand the idea – allowing the viewer to feel engaged with the domme while also enjoying the activity – but the images always feel very fake and disconnected to me. They emphasize the presence of the photographer and reduce the D/s chemistry.

I’m going to make an exception for this image. Firstly, because his expression and that little raise of his left leg is very cute. Secondly, because I imagine her expression is less a fake stare down, and more a sense of pride.  She’s totally pulling off her look and also nailing his ass. I’m not left thinking how fake it seems, but more that she’s proud of delivering a great moment on camera.

I believe this is from the Shadow Lane site.

Save All The Things!

I have a hoarding problem. Not, I hasten to add, in the physical world. There,  with the exception of kitchen equipment, I tend to the minimal. My hoarding problem is in the virtual world of information. I hate the idea of losing content. It’s so easy to copy around – it happens for every visit on every page for every image – yet we do such a terrible job of preserving old digital sources.

When tumblr announced it was banning all adult content I was therefore particularly perturbed, and set about locally archiving what I could. The initial idea was to just save sites I liked to use as image sources for this blog. I figured I could sort and catalog it all later. That seemed like a fun way to spend the holiday period. However, once I had the pipeline setup and ticking along, things got maybe a little out of hand.

When I finally pulled it all together and de-duplicated, I discovered I’d got  5.1 million images from about 400 sites occupying over 3TB of space. Oops. The cataloging process might therefore be a touch more time consuming than I first thought. Let’s say I want to run through all images just once and spend just 4 seconds per image. With a lot of animated gifs involved, that seems like a pretty fast average pace. If I devote 2 hours every day, 7 days a week, 52 weeks a year, I should be done in a little over 7 years and 9 months. Alternatively, I could quit my job entirely, put in a solid 8 hours a day, 5 days a week, and be done in a bit over 2 years and 8 months. Piece of cake.

I guess the good news is that there’s no danger of me running out of images to post. The bad news is that I’m not sure how I’ll be able to sort through them all to find the good stuff.

Talking of archiving content, here’s an old image from the Leda / NuWest company. I’d guess its from the mid to late 80’s. I found it via the now unavailable ‘x ray blue eyes’ tumblr. That was the single largest tumblr site I archived, with 355,247 images. That’s a lot of femdom.

Adult Babies

Dr Kate Lister via the iNews site has published a short but decent overview of the adult baby kink. As she says, it’s a much misunderstood kink that can often generate both disgust and disapproval. Even for pro-dommes it tends to be a divisive kink, with some specializing in it and others not offering it at all.

I’m firmly in the YKINMKBYKIOK camp, but tend not to cover ABDL stuff because it’s a somewhat niche interest that doesn’t really mesh with my person kinks. It’s also tough to find images on the theme that have broad appeal for a general site like this one. This particularly one of a Birthday Spanking is by the artist swabbs.

Play Safe

Here is a cautionary tale from Germany of a man who overdid his corporal scene just a smidgen. After being tightly bound to a wooden spanking bench and beaten on the buttocks and thighs, his kidneys stopped working. Luckily for him they sparked back into life after 3 days, although he was still kept in hospital for another 5 days beyond that. The article describes the scene as a 1000 spanks, but it actually featured a cane and a whip, which are significantly more severe than a spanking.

Of course there’s always risk involved in almost any scene. But if you’ve seen your urine turn dark red after play, as this man apparently had during similar past scenes, maybe its time to dial it down a notch or three.

This is obviously by Red Rump. Sadly, after creating some great femdom spanking artwork, his blog has been dormant for the last few years.

Parental Figures

My random thought of the day – originally over a coffee and delicious filled doughnut at my favorite local haunt – was how differently we treat the emotionally loaded words ‘Mommy’ and ‘Daddy’ in kink.

In M/f relationships there are obviously some people who like to roleplay actual father/daughter relationships. That squeaks some people out, but it’s clearly a thing for others. However, a lot of the use of the term ‘Daddy’ seems to be about a more abstract concept of a loving authoritarian figure rather than an actual relative. Typically when someone talks about wanting a Daddy-Dom or a Daddy/Baby relationship they’re using it as a shorthand for a style of relationship rather than claiming an incest kink. Based on my limited and entirely anecdotal observations, I’d say this second more abstract usage is a lot more prevalent than the first.

In F/m interactions I never see this dual use. The more abstract idea doesn’t exist. Any reference to ‘Mommy’ is always about incest roleplay of the naughty son who needs disciplining, educating or restraining. I don’t see dominant women describe themselves as ‘Mommies’ and pro-dommes always list ‘Mommy’ under their roleplay sections rather than their style of play. Mommy Dom never gets used as a label in the same abstract way Daddy Dom does.

In fact I’ve even seen some dommes on twitter describe themselves as Daddies via expressions like “Who’s your Daddy now?” and “Daddy’s Home!” I get why they’d do this, but it seems somewhat odd for a female dominant to draw on a male archetype to emphasize dominance.

I’m afraid I’ve no conclusion to finish with. Nor do I have a value judgement about the current state of affairs. I just thought it was an interesting observation to share. Why the difference between the two? Or am I wrong in my anecdotal observations?

Artwork is by Barbara O’Toole who often seemed to specialize in the older women – young man genre.

First Time Fun

A lot of people have amusing stories of their kinky firsts. Nerves, naked bodies and subversive sex can lead to humor – in hindsight at least. Marga Gomez’s article entitled ‘My First Time with a Dominatrix‘ is one of those stories, and is a particularly funny and well written example of the genre.

Sadly, her first dominatrix experience doesn’t result in any kinky satisfaction. I can only hope she has managed to get her bondage and spanking itch scratched more effectively since then.

The spankee in this vintage shots looks about as unsatisfied as Marga was. I’m afraid I don’t know where the image originates from.

Bum Note

I don’t feature a lot of Femdom/Febsub imagery. That’s partly because as a man I don’t have a great understanding of that dynamic. It’s also partly because most of the images seems so fake and porn-y. Mostly it’s because images of female submission show up everywhere on tumblr and porn sites, and as a femdom blog, I don’t feel it’s an area I need to add to.

Having said all that, let me immediately contradict myself, and share this vintage Ff spanking picture (courtesy of Spanking Blog). It’s from the 1930’s but looks like it could have been shot just last week. The expressions and outfits push all my buttons. I’ll take that teacher’s outfit over a domme bristling with studs and leather any day of the week. Beautiful poses and and a lovely sexy behind.

Spanking during Violin Lesson

This is from Ostra Studios, a Paris based photography studio of the 30’s that was a spin off from Biederer Studios. The two brothers who created both studios were Jewish and died in Auschwitz in 1942. It’s hard to grasp that the human race can produce people of such beauty while simultaneously delivering those that would burn them to death.

Dana Kane

In the early years of this blog there was a fair amount of discussion, in both posts, links and comments, about the validity and authenticity of professional domination. Some maintained that the financial aspect always made the D/s dynamic inauthentic. A few people even held that pro-dommes were a significant negative influence on kink and femdom and the community would be better off without them.

Over time that kind of discussion seems to have faded. Possibly I’ve convinced people that while the professional aspect certainly makes a difference, it’s not the defining characteristic or necessarily a negative one. Possibly everyone who argued otherwise has got fed up and gone elsewhere. Maybe I’m just more sure of myself and therefore less likely to take offense and pick an argument.

If I was still regularly engaging in that kind of debate, then I’d certainly want to highlight a post (from 2015) by professional disciplinary Dana Kane on her relationship with one of her playmates Paul. It’s entitled ‘Can I come to your funeral?‘ and, as the title suggests, it’s both a powerful and emotional one. It covers both the development of their relationship and what happens when Paul becomes ill. It’s tricky one to summarize beyond that, so I’m not going to even try. Just go read it. I think it does show what a caring person Ms Kane is, how important kinky relationships can be to people, and also how complex and conflicted they can potentially be.

This image is of Dana Kane spanking Michael Darling for the Dreams of Spanking site.

Zen and the art of spanking

Combining zen and spanking is apparently now a thing. At least according to this article. It was recently featured in the Taste of Love Festival, which describes the goal as…

…to create an awakening of energy in the base of the receiver and allow it to be ridden and flow through the body.

This actually resonates with me. I’m generally not a big hand spanking fan. I like my impact play to involve some canes or paddles in order to push my masochistic buttons. Regular hand spanking seems kind of playful and (dare I say it) a little vanilla. Yet there’s definitely an energy and rhythm to it that can be quite focusing. I can imagine combined with breath work and the right sense of flow it could be meditative.

This is Dana Kane helping a gentleman reach a more zen like state for the Dreams of Spanking site.