Printing your own toys

One of the big new things in the techy world is 3D printing. This works pretty much exactly as it sounds. You plug the printer into your computer, and rather than an image it prints out a three dimensional shape. They’ve been around for years, but have only recently dropped into the consumer price range. They’re still not cheap, but they’re now the price of a high-end television rather than a high-end automobile.

It’s a rule of the universe that any new technology will always get adopted in some way for sex. There are obviously a lot of toy possibilities with this kind of creative tool, particularly given its ability to create highly customized one off shapes. As you’d expect, companies are springing up to target this niche. Insertable toys are tricky at present, as resolution and texture issues need to be resolved. But I’d think that BDSM toys would a great area to target, with all sorts of imaginative torture and constraint options possible.

So far the only example of printable BDSM toys I’ve found is this collar and cuff combination. It’s very crude, but you can definitely see the possibilities it opens up. Starting with that as a template, it’d be interesting to personalize it by adding your own patterns and designs into the basic shape. You could even create special collars for particular events, anniversaries or certain types of play sessions. If you could imagine it, you could create it.

I’ll leave you with a shot of someone wearing a slightly more conventional collar arrangement courtesy of Mistress Alex in NYC.

Mistress Alex

I found this on the Musing of a Mistress tumblr.

Christmas balls

I wrote last week about the fun I had being turned into a Christmas tree. It turns out that Lydia wasn’t the only domme feeling inspired by the season. Louca Brazzi has written up an entertaining review of a session he did with Mistress Tess that featured a red striped ass getting pinned with some sparkly Christmas balls. Mistress Tess even captured a photograph of his nicely decorated posterior. They say it’s the season of giving. Clearly in this case it gave her a fun session idea and him a very sore bottom!

It’d be a crime to mention the beautiful Mistress Tess and not take the opportunity to feature a photograph. This one shows her with some of her more interesting looking toys.

Mistress Tess

Mistress Tess is a NYC based pro-domme. You can find information on her interests and scheduling sessions at her site.

The Victorian Christmas Tree

Lydia has been pretty busy with her Land of the Sweets show leading up to Christmas. Fortunately I managed to grab some time with her on a rare night off, and we indulged in a suitably festive get together.

My only suggestion prior to the session was that we might use her bondage chair. Other than that I had no idea what she’d planned. As soon as I saw the disposable blue medical cloth on the chair I guessed piercing might be involved, but I was a little puzzled by the lengths of festive ribbon piled close by. It quickly became apparent that she was feeling in a decorative mood, and intended to pin the ribbons to me like an old fashioned Christmas tree.

The end result can be seen in the shot below. A more colorful version (taken with flash on) can be seen here. I lost track of how many needles were used, but I’d guess it was at least 50. As is often the way with these kind of sessions there was a nice rhythm to it as each ribbon was positioned and pinned. There was also a pleasant feeling of objectification, a focus on my body but not me. It’s both intimate, as she’s working very closely on me, and yet distancing, as she concentrates on getting the ribbon just how she wanted it. You can see a couple more close-up shots of the needles with ribbons here and here.

She capped everything off with a ribbon that ran from ear to ear and sported a big bow on top of my head. This was held with ear piercings and a needle through the scalp at around the hairline. The skin is really thin at that point, so it hurt going in and bled a lot coming out. Unfortunately I can’t really show you the best shot we got, which was me giggling like an idiot while the blood dripped down my face. However, I can share this after shot, which shows some of the body marks left and the dripping blood on the side of my nose.

All in all it was a great way to celebrate the festive season and I’m endlessly grateful to Lydia for taking the time to put together such an imaginative session. Not to mention that I’ve now got a great image to put on all my Christmas cards! I’m sure everyone will be happy to have this on their mantlepiece over the holidays.

Ribbons and needles

Getting plastered

Domina Victoria Rage has an interesting post up about a scene she did involving a full plaster of Paris body cast.

For over an hour he held still, waiting patiently in near breathless anticipation as each layer was applied. I was happy to see how quickly it hardened into an ever expanding prison of white. As the minutes ticked by, more and more of him became enveloped and secured, he was stiffened, no movement in his feet or legs, his torso, arms or fingers…. just stillness. All that was left was his neck and his head, and he was SO eager for me to finish the job.
Inescapably Mine by Domina Victoria Rage

With his head and body fully encased she then goes on to do some breathplay, repeatedly cutting off his only lifeline to the outside world.

A few years ago I might have read that post and thought ‘So what?’ I lie still for hours at a time every night in the dark, and I can hold my breath. There’s no pain, so what’s the big deal? Now I’m a touch older and a touch wiser. There’s a big difference between choosing not to move and not being able to move. It takes considerable mental strength to give-up this kind of control for hours at a time.

I love breathplay and bondage, and I’d be fascinated to try this kind of scene out, but it would definitely stress me. There’s very little room for compromise or adaptation. There are no ropes to loosen or hoods to unzip. The submissive either immerses himself into it or the scene is broken. And if he does succumb to panic, it’s not going to be a particularly quick process to cut the plaster away. It takes a lot of trust on the part of the submissive and a very fine degree of judgement on the part of the dominant to pull this kind of thing off.

Domina Victoria Rage

Victoria Rage is a Seattle based pro-domme. You can visit her professional site here, and read the rest of her blog here.

Bittersweet

I’m continuing my vacation strategy of featuring alternative posts from blogs that I enjoy. In this case the victim lucky author is Femi with her post entitled Letter to a Masochist. It’s a bittersweet kind of post, that manages to be hot, creative and a touch melancholy.

I want to give you bruises that don’t fade for a week.
I want to think, “I hope the neighbors don’t call the cops.”
I want to rub my hand over your flesh that’s hot to the touch.
I want to be sore the next day from that much energy expended.
I want to be the answer to your needs.
I want this hypothetical you to exist, to find me, to say, “yes,” and “more,” and, “please.”
If I feel like I’ve waited a lifetime for you, it’s because I have. Already I feel jaded.
Come into existence for me.
FemiLetter to a Masochist

The first part is definitely hot, and the last part a little sad, but the line about the neighbors made me smile. I actually know of a Seattle couple that ‘soundproofed’ their basement before starting to crack the whip. Unfortunately the soundproofing wasn’t up the job and, in a moment of true genius, they hadn’t thought to check from the outside before getting their freak on. Sure enough, the neighbors called the cops. Doubly unfortunate for them was the fact that Seattle mandates that for domestic violence calls somebody is always taken away. I get the logic of that, but it doesn’t leave a lot of room for discretion. So despite protestations that it was all consensual and the screaming was just part of the fun, the husband ended up (temporarily) in the pokey. Everything worked out OK in the end, but I’ve got to imagine the subsequent conversations with the neighbors were a little embarrassing.

The two illustrative images I’ve chosen below are from Dana Kane, a professional disciplinarian based out of Las Vegas. Given Femi’s comments about bruising and hot flesh they seemed appropriate. They’re from this video sequence.

Dana Kane and Lexan paddle
Dana Kane and Lexan paddle

 

Lydiapox

I’d be the first to admit that the photographs I publish of my sessions are not the sexiest images featured here. That’s not to say the sessions themselves aren’t sexy. It’s just that the attractive woman in the interesting fetish gear is normally behind the camera, while the skinny naked English guy splays himself in front. It’s a little like this anecdote about George Enescu. All the elements are there, just not necessarily in the right arrangement.

However, all those previous scenes pale into insignificance compared to the aesthetics of one I did with Lydia recently. Even my response on seeing the photographs was – “Ewwwww. That’s cool. But ewwwww!” We were playing with saline injections under the skin, which created big swellings and bumps. From a headspace perspective it was amazing. It created a nice variation in pain, depending where the injections were, as well as a strong sense of objectification. There was the slow filling of the syringe, the little flick and squirt to clear the bubbles, the careful search for just the right place and then the rising pain as she pushed the needle home. Unfortunately, while masochistically interesting, aesthetically it left me looking like someone with a peculiar disease. I’ll share some links to photographs, but consider yourself warned!

For brave readers, this first shot shows both the nipples (which were injected multiple times) and the first few injections to the chest. The nipple injections made them very sensitive and pleasurable to touch. In contrast the injections in the centre of the chest and the sides of the torso were really tender and painful. This shot and this one show the actual injection process itself. The filling itself didn’t hurt too much, it was more the movement of the needle as Lydia squeezed the plunger that stung. Here’s an overhead shot take later in the session. It was surprising how quickly the saline would either leak or absorb, and Lydia had to go back to refill most of the spots. Finally, this shot and this one were taken right at the end, after Lydia had also pierced the nipples. Given their engorged and sensitive state that piercing was almost pleasurable and it cranked their sensitivity up another notch.

If you’re playing with someone who has had the relevant training, then I’d definitely recommend giving saline injections a go. It might look like you’ve got a dose of the pox, but the D/s dynamic it creates is a powerful one. And the swelling fades in just an hour or two.

It feels wrong to end the post with only shots of my bumpy torso. So as a kind of mental palette cleanser, here’s Lydia with a shot taken from her trip to OWK.

Lady Lydia at OWK

Indulging my fetishes

Posting may be a little erratic for the next few days as I take some time to indulge two of my favorite fetishes. Unfortunately there will not be any interesting photographs or scene descriptions resulting from this, as the fetishes in question are my love for interesting food and luxurious hotels. I’ve escaped the chill of Seattle for a little R&R in Vegas. It’s a fun place (for a brief stay), but not exactly a kinky mecca.

I’ll leave you with a picture featuring a slightly more traditional fetishistic focus. This is Domina Ai-Li, who I’ve played with and written about in the past. She’s based in San Francisco, which might lack the neon and showgirls of Vegas, but certainly puts it to shame when it comes to kink.

Domina Ai-Li

En Garde!

Maybe I’ve led too sheltered a kinky life, but I’ve never seen sword fighting crop up as a BDSM activity. Which is kind of odd now I come to think about it. It’s obviously a sexy look, as shown by Mistress Ultra Violet below. It crops up frequently in popular culture, for example the Bride in Kill Bill or Michelle Yeoh and Zhang Ziyi in Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. And plenty of other fighting activities, such as wrestling, boxing and martial arts, have been adopted for kinky play.

Obviously real swords would be a problem. Nobody wants to end up with less limbs than they started with, unless they’re unfortunate enough to suffer from apotemnophilia. But there are plenty of practice swords that could be used, and I’m sure there must be some dommes out there who have done fencing or a relevant martial art. Just allow the submissive to only defend and not attack and you’ve got a fun new way to get beaten. Not to mention all the scope for some swashbuckling roleplay – Maid Marion getting her own back on the evil sheriff perhaps?

Mistress Ultra VioletI came across this image via a post on the Hogspy site.

A great example (of how not to do it)

I’ve often considered writing a submissive’s guide to organizing a first pro-domme session. Not that I’m any sort of expert, but I picture it as a letter to my younger self. The sort of article I wish I’d read when I was 21. Fortunately, I’m not sure I need to write it anymore. An article entitled ‘No, a dominatrix won’t have sex with you‘ pretty much provides the definitive guide. Just do exactly the opposite of whatever this guy does, and you should be OK.

Admittedly he didn’t initially realize she was a professional (in purely a taking the money sense of the word), but I don’t think it changes the basic message. For example, if she’s happy to meet you at 2am on the street and then mistakes you for her drug dealer, don’t do what this guy did and return to her apartment. Similarly, if the pre-scene discussion consists of her mentioning her boyfriend and then saying she’ll do it for free because you’re cute, that is not your cue to take your shirt off.

My favorite part of the whole thing was his last line – “The biggest lesson I took from this is one that I will carry to my grave: A dominatrix doesn’t have sex with you.” Really? That was your big learning point? A few others did spring to my mind. Add while that statement is generally true for pro-dommes in the US, for any random OKCupid date you meet collecting garbage on the street at 2am, I’d say all bets are off.

I’ll leave you with a picture of a real pro-domme having fun with her ‘boy toy’. This is Ms Mona Rogers, a genuine professional (in all senses of that word) from NYC.

Mona Rogers doing sensation play

Lessons learnt

During my web wanderings over the weekend I came across this insightful post from Mitsu entitled “Lessons I learned as a dominatrix: 10 things that don’t exist.” It’s a thoughtful list and any one of her points could have formed the basis for a follow-up post. However, I’m going to pick the first item on it: There’s no such thing as intimacy without vulnerability.

Sometimes, a client would come to session with me with his heart set on having the amazing kinky experience he’d always dreamed of, but it would end up disappointing because of something I had no control over: the walls wouldn’t budge. He wouldn’t be able to communicate specifically what he really wanted. He wouldn’t be able to let go, of his ego perhaps, and let the scene happen.
Mitsu

As Mitsu goes onto say, this need for vulnerability and lowering your guard is a key part of any intimate relationship, not just a BDSM one. It’s something that rarely gets addressed directly. People come at obliquely, talking about sharing, trust or communication. But the heart of it, something necessary for all those things, is taking a risk and making yourself vulnerable.

The interesting thing I’ve found about doing BDSM scenes is that they can be a two way street when it comes to vulnerability. It’s necessary to let go to make them work, but the scenes themselves can also help you to do that. Pain and psychological stress can put a lot of pressure on any cracks the submissive wants to expose in their personal walls. It’s hard for the ego and super-ego to do their stuff when basic fight-or-flight impulses are ruling the roost.

One of the most powerful moments in any of my scenes came at a moment when I was feeling supremely vulnerable. I’d been in a bondage chair for a couple of hours, watching Lydia at close range, face to face, as she tortured me. I was bound but exposed, pushed deep into sub-space as she caned my inner thighs, applied clamps and zapped me with electricity. Towards the end she applied a number of viciously sharp clips across my body and then stepped back to watch as I struggled to breath through the pain. My thought process was long gone, there was really no me there, just a lot of pain and Lydia. As I stared up at her she came to me and gave me a gentle hug. It was a beautiful moment, comforting and reassuring, and I emotionally dissolved in her arms. Then, still holding me, she slid her body along mine, dragging the clips back and forth. I just about died. That little moment of vulnerability and intimacy combined with the sudden savage pain of the moving clips still gives me a shiver when I think of it today.

IntimacyImage of intimacy was found on the Girls Rule, Subs Drool tumblr.