Sun and Kink in Seattle

As weekends go, this one didn’t suck. It was my birthday, so I had many drinks with friends to celebrate that. After a wet and miserable winter, we finally got some beautiful sunny weather in Seattle. And finally, best of all, I got to play with Mistress Mara Mayhem.

Regular readers with good memories may remember I last got together with Mistress Mara in Chicago last year. This time she was visiting Seattle and, despite a tight schedule, we managed to fit in a session on Sunday afternoon. It was a lot of fun, despite a rookie error on my part. I thoughtlessly mentioned it had recently been my birthday which, for pretty much every domme in the world, can mean only one thing – birthday spanks. You can see the end result on my posterior in this twitter picture Mistress Mara shot. I will not say how many spanks it was, but I think it’s safe to say my ass will be red for a few days to come.

This is the beautiful Mistress Mara in a shot from her twitter feed. I believe it was taken immediately before our session. If you’re interested in arranging a session with her then this is her site.

Needle Smart

Melissa Febos is back in the news to annoy my over my morning cup of tea. For those that haven’t heard of her, she’s the author of a book called Whip Smart about her time working as a pro-domme in a dungeon in NYC. Her story is a familiar one. Full of the confidence and immortality of youth, our author-to-be does a bunch of drugs and develops a heroin addiction. She then spends several years trying to combine a normal life, a drug habit and a secret job that can sustain said habit. Eventually she kicks the drugs, ditches the job and writes a book about how crazy it all was. It’s a time honored tale, and one practiced by many authors.

I’m happy she got clean, got published and got a different job that she’s clearly better suited for. What annoys me is that in the countless interviews she does, she never provides broader context for domination or shows any self-awareness of herself in the bigger kinky picture. You get the impression she thinks she’s a truly representative example of a dominatrix and is providing a valuable insight into that world. Where in reality she was hired as a pretty face, working with zero training in a McDungeon. It’s a bit like a 3rd string quarterback, who never made it beyond the practice squad, writing a book on being a professional NFL player. He might have a great personal story, but he’s not exactly Tom Brady. In that case I’m sure he and his interviewers would understand that. In the case of Febos and her coverage, I’m not sure that distinction gets drawn.

I also find it odd that the dangers of what she did never get addressed. For example, she did risky kinky activities like breathplay while high on drugs. I wonder how the interviews would have gone is her side gig had been say a carer at an old peoples home? I’m guessing all the funny stories about the stupid shit she did with the crazy patients while on heroin wouldn’t have gone down so well.

The other thing that bugs me – while I’m ranting here – is how she trades on her time as a dominatrix while also complaining about people bringing it up. Several times in this recent Guardian article she writes disapprovingly about people mentioning it, and is mad that a colleague makes a joke about it. You don’t get to write a book, and do countless interviews on a subject to flog said book, and the declare it off limits for comments. If you’re making money off it, you should probably learn not to be embarrassed by it.

Mistress Mattisse wrote a review of the book and also chatted to Febos. I think she covers the issues pretty well.

Melissa FebosPhotograph is of Melissa Febos. Post title and ‘McDungeon’ stolen shamelessly from Mistress Matisse.

Roleplay with an edge

Some people use BDSM to temporarily escape reality, while for others it’s a way of working through and exploring real world issues. I’m definitely in the escapist camp. I like to take a vacation from my overactive and constantly nagging brain by giving it a big wash of adrenaline and hormones. Being reminded of stuff that depresses me on a day to day basis is the last thing I want sneaking into my kink.

The people in this Broadly article clearly feel differently. The title sums it up pretty well – ‘Inside a BDSM Dungeon with a Hillary Dom and a Guilty, Diaper-Clad Trump Voter’. So on top of wall to wall political coverage in the media, you can now also politics in your local playspace. Assuming your local playspace is La Domaine Esemar that is.

The Domme in question is Mistress Couple (featured here in the past), who started offering a Hillary/Trump roleplay as joke before the election. When Trump won, and the joke became decidedly less funny, she continued with the twist that wannabe Trump submissives had to prove a donation to the ACLU or Planned Parenthood before a session.

I like the idea of generating money for a good cause and giving Mistress Couple the satisfaction of hitting a Trump voter in the nuts with a golf club. I just wish our politics wasn’t so fucked up that it’s ripe for being turned into BDSM role play material.

This street artwork, featuring Catwoman and Trump, is entitled ‘The revenge of women’ and is by Herr Nilsson.

It’s unlikely the ‘Mike’ featured in the Broadly article is a reader of this blog, but on the off chance he is, I’d just like to say: ‘Mike, you’re a goddamn idiot’.

Bruises on bruises

I’m safely back in Seattle, recovering from my LA hijinks. Doing 8 intense hours of sessions over 6 days definitely wasn’t wise, but it was a lot of fun.

I finished by playing with Mistress Lucy again, whilst sporting fresh and vivid whip marks from Mistress Isabella Sinclaire. You can probably guess what happened next. Do you think that on being shown the day old marks…
a/ Mistress Lucy observed how tender they looked and was careful to avoid them for the rest of the sessions, or
b/ Gleefully raked her fingernails across them and then pulled our her slappy leather whip to add her own layer of marks on top?

The vivid bruises on my back will testify to answer (b). There’s something about showing a tender spot to a sadistic top – they just can’t help poking at it to get a reaction. Or, in this case, beating it with a big leather thing to get a scream.

This isn’t me in the picture with Isabella below, but my marks were (and are) remarkably similar in pattern. Or at least were until the next layer got added!

I found this on Mistress Isabella’s Instagram.

Living the dream

I was lucky enough to realize a long held dream of mine this weekend. I got to play with Isabella Sinclaire.

For those that don’t know of her work (shame on you), she’s a famous and very talented domme, who I’ve mentioned here in previous posts. I first became aware of her thanks to the Ivy Manor films she did with Jewell Marceau back around 2000. At the time my kinky life lived in fantasy only, and the films and her presence completely grabbed me. It’s hard to believe I’d one day be lucky enough to end up tied to her table.

Her approach to playing reminded my a lot of Lydia. They both possess the confidence, skills and experience to riff on a theme, reading body language and organically building layers of sensation. Rather than working through a specific pre-determined plan, there’s a sense of working towards a know goal but improvising a lot of the steps along the way. In my case some of those steps involved a tens unit, a beautifully thrown single tail and suturing around the nipples, cock and balls. It was a fantastic experience.

Please note that my comparison shouldn’t be taken as a criticism of the other dommes I play with. There are a lot of different but equally great ways to construct a scene and top someone. I’ve always tried to play with different dommes and enjoyed their unique slants on domination, even when Lydia was still around. I’ve just never before encountered anyone who reminded me so much of her general approach as Isabella did, even while their styles were still very much their own.

If you’re in the LA region and interesting sessioning with Mistress Isabella, her professional site is here. She also organizes a Domme Collective, featuring many talented professionals.

Does this hurt? How about now?

I think all good sadists have a touch of the mad scientist in them. They’re not content with making it hurt. They also have questions. How much does it hurt? What about here compared with here? What if I squeeze? Was that a yes or a no? What if I do it again? What if I turn it up and squeeze?

I had a great session with Mistress Lucy yesterday, which featured many of these questions. She particularly enjoyed testing where her Tazapper hurt the most. Oddly enough, despite testing it on the more obvious delicate and protruding areas, I think the final answer was in the armpit. I guess that’s what a good mad scientist does. Don’t waste time guessing or making assumptions. Just jam that probe in and see what jumps.

This is a shot of Mistress Lucy I found on her twitter feed. Not exactly sure what’s going on with that pole, but it definitely got a bit of a (sexy) mad scientist vibe to it.

Undesired desires

Metro recently published an interview with Goddess Avivia that made me laugh. For the most part it’s a pretty standard mainstream magazine interview with a pro-domme. That is to say, it’s generally positive with an minor undercurrent of sneering and sensationalism. It also has the requisite reference to submissions all being rich alpha types that always bugs me. The bit that made me laugh was this…

Most of my clients are privileged white men: 6-feet tall, fit, in their 30s, usually working in a high-powered position. These men are used to being in control, getting what they want and having women cater to their desires. It’s exciting for them to experience the polar opposite of their day-to-day.

As regular readers will be aware, I’m huge fan of pro-dommes and always enjoy playing with them. And I’m sure that Goddess Aviva is a lovely person and an excellent domme. However, I’m also pretty certain that all her 6 foot tall clients are getting exactly what they want and are still having a woman cater to their desire. That is, after all, what they pay for. It might be unusual to desire to be beaten or humiliated or peed on by an attractive woman, but it’s still a desire. Unless of course they have been prescribed invigorating beatings  for the good of their health, and really don’t enjoy them at all.

I understand what she’s getting at, but the wording did make me smile. I’ll leave you with an old image of Mistress Madeline apparently refusing to give her slave what he desires.

Bleeding Heart

As I mentioned in my last post, I caught up with Cynthia Stone and Inga Larsson last week while they were visiting Seattle. I was happy to see them in my part of the world, but I was a touch nervous about doing a session with both of them together, particular given how little I’ve played recently. I’d seen them separately before in LA (posting about it here, here and here), and our play had tended towards the intense and in-your-face end of the scale. Doubling that up, combined with a lack of match fitness, felt like it might be a challenge too far. In the end my concerns were proven both right and wrong. I was right that it’d be very intense, but wrong that it’d be a problem. It was wonderful.

We snapped some photographs, which I’ll share in the hot links below. Fair warning to those of a sensitive disposition: They include close-up shots of naked me and some very small amount of blood. I will not be offended if you choose to skip the click.

We started with a nice mix of corporal, using crops, paddles, whips and even the belt from my trousers. A particular highlight was being paddled on the ass by Cynthia while Inga was in my face prodding an acupuncture needle in my forehead. The combination of the impersonal heavy impacts and the very personalized sharp pain was a big headrush. I was also introduced to the idea of removing a nipple clamp for a short while and then re-applying it. The result is agonizing, with the clamp multiplying the pain of the returning blood flow. I think in years of playing, that’s the first time I’ve experienced that particular combination.

After that we moved onto some medical style play, with Cynthia suturing and Inga cutting. You see the suture work on the genitals here and here. While that was going on, Inga was drawing a heart on my chest with a scalpel. You can see this here and here. The combination of the bursts of sharp suturing pain and rhythmic cutting strokes was another amazing combination. I ended up shaking with the adrenaline but also relaxing completely into the sensations. There was also some nipple piecing happening, which the suture thread ended up getting tied off to, shown here.

Cynthia didn’t want to be left out of the cutting action, so decided to cut her name into my cock, shown here. That looks extreme, but was actually less painful than the suturing. What was extreme was being forced to masturbate afterwards with a mixture of lube and salt. Even with a normal cock status, salt is not something you want anywhere it or your lube. Mix in some thin paper-like cuts, and much groaning will ensue.

In the end I was left with an amazing headspace, that persisted for 3 or 4 days. I still break out in a big smile just thinking about the time we spent. I was also left with a very distinctive collection of marks to admire, both on the ass and the chest. This was the heart a couple of days later.

If you’re in LA or NYC, and looking for an imaginative and talented pro-domme, then I absolutely recommend seeking out Inga or Cynthia. And if you’re lucky enough to catch them both in the same city at the same time, then a double session will be a lifetime memorable event.

This shot is of Inga Larsson taken from her web site.

Happy puddle

A short post tonight. Typing anything is tricky. I’m a happy puddle of endorphins and smiles after playing with two wonderfully talented women. I’m also missing some blood, which I’m now replacing with red wine. Not sure my doctor would approve. Forget a long post. Even long sentences are taxing.

We did snap some photographs, which I’ll feature tomorrow.  Until then I’ll leave you with the two ladies in question. This the lovely Cynthia Stone and amazing Inga Larsson.

Fake News

According to this Vice article, pro-dommes have seen a big upsurge in business since Trump took office. If you think that means that Vice did a thorough survey of dommes across the country, using data from both before and after the election, then I can only admire your optimism in the quality of on-line journalism. As far as I can tell, they talked to exactly three dommes. Their anecdotal comments are interesting, but I don’t think three data points qualifies as a fully representative sample set of an entire industry.

If there has been a change, I actually like Mistress Tiffany’s suggestion – it’s due to backpage closing it’s adult ads section in January. Journalists tend to know and talk to well known and well established dommes. The kind of dommes who have proper websites optimized for search engines that are easy for clients to find. Journalists are unlikely to talk to the hundreds of lower profile women working mainly from backpage ads that have seen their business evaporate in the last couple of months. It would be a surprise to me if the backpage decision hadn’t triggered changes in client patterns, but it’s obviously hard to measure what those might be.

Whatever has happened, if anything at all, the article does at least give me an excuse to feature this image of the lovely Mistress Iris. She’s an LA based pro-domme, and the third one interviewed in the Vice article.