Am I a Pervert?

I very much like this video recorded for the BBC by Miss Marilyn. It’s great to see kink positive content being widely shared by a mainstream media source. It’s also good to see them drawing on experts like Miss Marilyn. Too often even nominally positive coverage ends up with journalists trying to awkwardly engage with the topic while personally distancing themselves from it. Plus, Miss Marilyn’s Scottish accent is sexy as hell.

Personally, when it comes to the question posed by the video and post title, I’m with the baby-eating bishop of Bath and Wells. Namely that I am a colossal pervert, and that I’m very happy about it. In modern parlance, I lean in on my perversions.

This image of Miss Marilyn comes from this tweet, which she describes as “straight outta 60’s horror film.” I totally see that, and love it for that reason. It reminds me of the kind of psychological horror movie where I always ended up rooting for the hot, crazy and interesting character over the bland hero.

If you’re interested in seeing more of Miss Marilyn, her twitter feed is here, her professional site here and her clips store here.

Busy, Busy, Busy

Apologies for the paucity of posts in the last week. I’ve been a bit busy. It was my birthday on the weekend and then a couple of days later I had my US citizenship interview and naturalization ceremony. Both of these had to be celebrated by a drink or three, leaving me lacking in both time and clarity for blogging.

After being in the country almost 19 years, it felt like it was time to become a US citizen, although the current climate here did give me pause. In the end I decided that I shouldn’t let the (relatively) small number of assholes currently running the show in DC and in various state governments cloud my judgement. There’s still a lot to love about the US and the vast majority of the people in it. Plus, this way I get to vote. Taxation without representation is kind of a founding theme here, so given I’m stuck with the former, I should at least enable the latter.

I’ve no idea what image would be suitable for a newly minted US citizen, so instead I’ll grant myself a birthday present of an image. This is Lady Delphine, in a beautiful and very sexy shot.

Lady Delphine is a pro-domme based in Toronto, Canada. Her booking form for professional sessions is available here.

Rope Mummification

This image by Mistress Hinako makes for a nice complement to yesterday’s post. I think if you simply described the setup of the two images to someone they’d assume the wall bondage with straps was the realistic one and the man mummified entirely in rope was the fantasy artwork. Yet with this Mistress Hinako has managed to pull off one of the more spectacular rope bondage scenes I’ve seen in a long while.

Much as I love the aesthetics of this, I’m not sure I’d want to be the submissive. According to the blog post it took about 2 hours to create this set-up. Plastic wrap or bondage tape might not look as cool, but they’re definitely a faster way to mummify someone. I’d rather save my play time for the post bondage torture. But for all the rope sluts out there, this would definitely be an unforgettable scene.

You can see more shots of the rope mummy from Mistress Hinako’s blog post. If you’d like to see movies of her in action, then her clips store is here.

LA DomCon 2019

While I enjoyed my recent LA trip, I have to admit I mistimed it slightly. I was just leaving town as DomCon 2019 was starting. Hopefully next year I can plan more intelligently and actually be in town to attend it.

For everyone like me who missed it, their twitter account has a lot of fun photographs from the event. You can also check out some of the common hashtags like #DomconLA and #DomCon2019. I was amused to spot this tweet of Mistress Viola taking, as she said, ‘a selfie with An Li’s ass.’ Last year I put up this post with Mistress Servalan also being attracted to Mistress An Li’s ass. Clearly it’s a bottom of such beauty and wonder that even veteran dommes from all over the world are drawn to it!

One photograph I always look out for is the group shot they organize. Coordinating it must be a huge pain, but I love the mix of smiling people and varied outfits. You can see this years below, and the full size original (2000 x 849) in this tweet.

LA Fun Continued, Continued, Continued

For my final session in LA I met up with someone I’ve played with multiple times in the past – Mistress Lucy Khan. It was an appropriate end to my trip, as we played longer than the other sessions, and managed to combine an intense mixture of many different things. Some revisited themes of my other LA sessions (tease & denial, scent play, CBT, flogging) while others were unique to this particular event.

Notable in the ‘new activities for this trip’ column was an electrified urethral sound and vacuum cupping. The sounding was one of those activities that seem quite mild and pleasant – right up to the moment where it suddenly becomes an awful lot of ouch. In contrast the cupping was a much more meditative experience, almost relaxing, while producing some really spectacular marks. We shot a picture at the end of the session which shows them off pretty well  – here. My back also received a pretty heavy flogging, so there are multiple layers of marks and texture laid down by Lucy for that image.

After four different sessions with four different but highly talented dommes, it was interesting to reflect back on their approaches and stylistic variations. I enjoyed every session I did, but I think my most natural fit was with Mistress Iris and Mistress Lucy. They tend to a more playful approach, mixing laughter with intense moments. In fact if you look carefully at the image of my back, you can see Mistress Lucy smiling in reflection in the mirror. I take kink seriously, but that doesn’t mean it has to be serious. As I’ve written in the past, I think my fundamental kink is for contrasts, and I love Lucy’s ability to switch gears, sometimes pushing me hard and sometimes joking and playfully teasing. It’s a style which makes for a great play session in every sense of the word play.

This is Mistress Lucy in one of the rooms of her private session space, shot just before our session. You can browse her twitter feed here and visit her professional site here.

LA Fun Continued, Continued

As I mentioned a couple of posts ago, I was fortunate enough to session with Mistress Damiana Chi on my latest LA trip. She was kind enough to snap a few pictures of our play, which I thought I’d share here.

One of the great things about playing with someone like Mistress Damiana is the flexibility it brings. She has an enormously wide skill set which is complemented by a beautifully equipped space. So in whatever kinky direction the two of you are leaning – from basic hard corporal to an intricate bondage setup – it’s possible to put together a scene.  I was hankering for some tight restrictive bondage, so Mistress Damiana combined a plastic wrap mummification with additional layers of ropes.

This shot and this one show the basic set-up. The board I’m on is forked at the legs, allowing each leg to be wrapped individually, and my head is held by plastic wrap placed around the chin and forehead. This side shot shows the  suspended board, which not only looks cool, but also gives a lovely floaty feeling as it moves around. Finally, this shot shows the final rope arrangement, with a second layer of white rope added on top of the blue rope which is on top of the plastic wrap. Presumably that extra restriction was just in case I tried to escape.

Of course the bondage was only the start of my problems. Once that was in place it was time to pull out the nipple clamps, spiky wheels, electrical probes and slappy paddles. Sadly we were having way too much fun to shoot pictures of any of that activity. By the end I was a sticky quivering incoherent mess under all that plastic wrap, awash in perspiration and endorphins.  Fun times.

This image is sadly not me, but I thought it was a sweet image to share. It’s from this tweet, and features Mistress Damiana and her sister Jezebel Chi (along with other Chi Temple dommes), collaring their slave ‘footboy’ after 19 years of service. Well done footboy.

LA Fun Continued

My LA session fun continued yesterday with Mistress Damiana Chi. Which I’m not going to talk about. That’s because we shot some photographs, so I need to get and edit those before posting about the session itself. Hopefully that’ll happen in the coming days.

Instead, I’ll move onto what I got up to today with Mistress An Li. Glutton for punishment that I am, I ended up with back to back to back sessions. This was the first time An Li and myself had played together, which is always an interesting situation. I’d swapped just a couple of emails, chatted for a few minutes, and suddenly I’m naked and getting smacked around by this total stranger. Admittedly, it’s a very attractive stranger in sexy fetish wear who does this thing for a living but, after all these years of play, it’s still kind of weird.

I’m not sure our respective play styles really meshed all that well. I tend to a more playful, chatty style that eases into the serious stuff. I like a positive collaborative approach, rather than a more serious dynamic that leans  towards humiliation and negative feedback. That’s absolutely not a criticism – a lot of submissives love that style – but it’s not a natural one for me. Despite that I think we ended up having an enjoyable session.

Foot fetishism doesn’t do much for me, but I do love scent play, so having An Li smoosh her sweaty feet in my face while smacking me in the balls was pretty hot. There was also some nicely judged flogging, spanking and caning thrown into the mix, along with some some leather and chain bondage. I particularly enjoyed An Li’s approach to jangling chains and throwing them down hard on the floor. That creates a very evocative sound which really catches the attention, particularly when you’re naked and bent over a piece of dungeon furniture.

This image is from Mistress An Li’s website.  If you’re in the LA area and want to play in person then her session information is here. Alternatively, you can buy her clips here and see her social media posts here.

In Praise of the Pits

Getting older inevitably means there are more and more things I don’t understand. My brain can only fit so much and our culture endlessly creates more and more stuff. I’m at peace with this. What really puzzles me are the things that I’ve known for years and never understood. Like the social pressure for women to remove armpit hair. As this articles highlights, it’s kind of a thing for a lot of people. I get that from an aesthetic perspective a great bushy undergrowth might be best avoided, but what’s wrong with a little scrub? I’ve never understood why totally bare is seen as normal.

I actually feel the same way about pubic hair. I’ve had dommes in the past get slightly annoyed that I’m not completely clean shaven around the genital region, which always tends to provoke a kind of reverse Costanza in me – “Is that wrong? Should I have done something about that? I tell ya, I’ve got to plead ignorance on this thing.”

This is Mistress Youko, a Japanese pro-domme, with a sexy armpit image posted to her twitter feed. Interestingly doing an image search for something like ‘femdom armpit’ produces an endless stream of denuded pits. Hair like this is definitely the exception, not the rule.

The Philosophers Stone

Alchemists believed that there was a mystical substance that could transmute any element into any other element – the Philosophers Stone. The medieval theory for this was that the stone was formed from the intrinsic material of the world, the fundamental base that all other things were made from, and hence provided a means to dissolve and reconstitute materials as the alchemist desired. Since most alchemists got funding by pitching get-rich-quick schemes to wealthy patrons, that typically meant turning lead into gold.

Sadly the philosophers stone doesn’t exist, but the concept got me thinking about it in the context of kinky activities and sexual desire. I like a lot of different activities, which on the face of it are all fairly different. Being hit with sticks is very different to having needles pushed through the skin, which is very different to being pissed on. I enjoy them all, but why? Is there a common element that might not be obvious but that underpins their appeal? Do kinky people have a personal philosopher’s stone?

I’m sure some of you at this point are thinking – “What’s this idiot talking about? Obviously female domination is the key underlying element. Hasn’t he looked at his site name recently?” That’s fair but I think wrong. From a personal perspective there are lot of femdom scenes that do nothing for me. For example, punishment scenes, interrogations, pony play, foot worship, ABDL, etc. I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone who unconditionally likes femdom in all its different forms. It’s too broad an area. The same argument applies to pain. I like it, but only in certain contexts. I’m not someone who enjoys a good beating for its own sake. I also enjoy scenes that don’t feature pain, so that can’t be the intrinsic element to my kink.

It was actually the picture below that gave me a clue to what I think is my fundamental base kink – contrasts. I love activities that clash contrasting dynamics. Sensual sadism, caring objectification, tease and denial, restriction with sensory overload. Cuckolding is hot as it combines love with betrayal. Punishment beatings are not because I associate them purely with negative emotions. Watersports are hot as they combine intimacy with objectification. Ballbusting is not (to me) as it seems predominantly about taking pain. In the case of the picture below it’s the contrast of beauty with severity. It’s the delicate feminine features of Lady Mephista set against the severe colors and form of her military outfit.

I think this is interesting, because understanding the basis for desires helps you to explore them. It gives me a clue about what else I might like, or how I could modify scenes to work better. I might not enjoy ballbusting on its own, but maybe doing it as a giggling schoolgirl roleplay – with the domme having fun teasing and picking on me – would add the contrast I’d need to make it work.

Does anyone else think they have a kinky philosophers stone? A base element that might not be immediately obvious but that threads through all their fantasies and play scenes?

Lady Mephista is a Berlin based domme whose professional site can be found here.

Bonding

Netfix has a new show coming out later this month that might appeal to the typical reader of this blog. It’s called ‘Bonding’ and, as described by Netflix, it’s the story of a New York City grad student moonlighting as a dominatrix who enlists her gay BFF to be her assistant. You can see the Netflix intro here and a trailer for it here.

I find the premise a little odd, despite the fact it’s apparently based on the real life experiences of actor Rightor Doyle. I know of pro-dommes who have behind the scenes assistants to clean their studio or run errands. I also know that offering ‘forced’ bi scenes requires the occasional stunt cock or two. However, generally speaking, I get the impression that an obvious male presence in a pro-domme business wouldn’t be at all popular. Clients are often nervous about their privacy and sharing their kinks. It’s a very intimate thing. A male assistant sounds like a total business killer. I’d  suspect that the number of men who hire dommes and also have fantasies about the domme’s nervous gay BFF showing up in their scenes is non-zero but very small.

On the plus side, Zoe Levin does look great as the domme. There’s also a chance it might be a mainstream series that shows kinky sex in a funny but positive light. So I’m definitely willing to give it a shot and hope for the best.