Photograph – Page 145 – Femdom Resource

A pinch and a smile

I was planning to write some follow-up thoughts to yesterdays post on degradation and male submission. Instead I got paddled, pinched, prodded and penetrated by Lydia (plus some other stuff that didn’t begin with p). That left me way too mellowed out to write at length, so I’ll simply pop up an image that I found and liked. Her smile is cute, as is the pretty bondage, but it’s the nipple pinch that really makes the image for me. She might be turning to pose for the shot, but she’s not going to miss the opportunity to squeeze that nipple.

I found the image on the male sub imagery tumblr.

Worthless Worms : Hot or not?

The material I post here is almost all femdom. I’d hate to make my blog’s URL, title and tagline out to be liars. Yet my browsing habits cast a wider net. Kinky writing is often translatable to a variety of D/s and gender combination and my libido is an omnivorous consumer of kinky imagery. I might not want to tie women up, but a hot female bondage shot can still press my buttons.

One of the things I find fascinating when looking at a variety of blogs and tumblrs is how gender and D/s dynamics interact. I’ve written in the past about the type of imagery the different F/f/M/m groups post. Today I thought I’d braindump on the hairy topic of the worthless/worthy submissive. If we split the world into those who get off on a negative view of submission and those who don’t, what do we see? Or more accurately, what anecdotal observations am I about to pull out my ass?

From a submissive perspective it’s clear that there are both male and female submissives who get off on being insulted and abused. Words like worthless, pathetic, useless, dumb and weak often appear. They enjoy being told that they’re of little value. There’s not perfect symmetry here. Female submissives of this type tend to skew towards sexual objectification (bimbo, toy, ornament) where males skew towards sexual failure (cuckold, premature, small). I also suspect, based on nothing more than a hunch, that there are proportionally more submissive men than women of this type. But regardless of the ratios, it’s easy to find examples of both genders that kink on being demeaned.

When it comes to the dominants the story changes. It’s easy to find example of male dominants who get off on the idea of a worthless woman. Depressingly easy in fact. While some can appear to distinguish between consensual kinky play with a partner and the other 3 billion women in the world, you sadly don’t have to browse to far to run into some highly unpleasant misogynistic attitudes. I can only hope most of the bloggers are pimply teenagers in their parents basements who wouldn’t know what to do with a submissive woman if they found one tied to their computer.

In contrast most dominant women appear to strongly dislike this kind of submission. If you keep up with my blogroll, and writers like Ferns, D, Stabbity, Vista and Miss Pearl, you’ll see a consistent preference to strong, confident and self-assured male submission. Self-loathing, as stabbity recently asserted, is not an attractive trait. Even Fm couples who play with humiliation and objectification (Scott and Em perhaps or maybe Suzanne and tammy) tend to have a far more complex and nuanced approach that the stereotypical ‘worthless worm’ attitude. In fact the only dominant women I’ve seen clearly cater to this style of submission are pro-dommes. They’ll happily tell a guy he’s a pathetic sniveling failure – just as long as he can pay. Maybe I’m too cynical, but I suspect that the payment might be a significant factor there.

Personally I don’t get off on degradation, so all this is just observation and idle speculation. Anyone likening me to an invertebrate is likely to get a ‘Fuck you!’ followed swiftly by a ‘Who the hell do you think you are?’ But I do think the potential for mismatch in F/m desires compared to M/f is interesting. I’m also intrigued by the correlation with conventional cultural stereotypes for the genders. Apparently weakness can be an attractive attribute in Mf, but not typically in Fm.

After all this talk of degradation and humiliation I thought I should finish with something cute and happy. I found this on the Domination on My terms tumblr.

More wax play

I always knew the internet and my readers wouldn’t let me down. No sooner had I put up yesterday’s post about Leonardo DiCaprio, the dominatrix and the candle, than Vista had come through for me with an animated gif of the scene in question. Seeing it makes me wonder if they consulted anyone about the right type of candle to use. There are a lot of good guides to wax play out there (for example this one), but how many movie props departments know about them? I hope Leonardo was just doing a great acting job, because hot wax really shouldn’t be that painful.

I’ll finish with a shot of a quite different wax play scene. There’s a lot less screaming and a lot more smiling in this shot.

I found this on the Happy BDSM tumblr. I’m afraid I don’t have an original attribution.

An average day on the set

A new Scorsese movie is always a significant cultural event, but wouldn’t normally be relevant to this blog. However his latest, The Wolf of Wall Street, apparently features a scene with a dominatrix (played by Christina Jeffs) and Leonardo DiCaprio. More specifically, it feature a scene where said dominatrix sticks a candle into Leonardo’s asshole. I’ve not seen it yet, but I’m now feeling that popcorn and a movie could be in my near future.

Apparently the original book featured the candle being stuffed where the sun doesn’t shine, but it was toned down for the movie script into a simple hot wax splashing scene. The lead actress, Margot Robbie, thought this was a cop-out and said as much…

“I kind of provoked Leo into doing it, and I can’t believe he did,” Robbie continues. “I said if he was committed to the role, then he would do it properly.” DiCaprio worked up the courage to make the suggestion to Scorsese, who loved the idea. “And then the prop man had to light the candle,” says Schoonmaker, who notes that DiCaprio didn’t use a body double for any of his nude scenes.
From a Variety Magazine article.

I love the fact that the actors wanted to do this and Scorsese went for it. But I really love that comment about the prop man. He must have had an interesting conversation with his wife that evening when she asked him how his day had gone – “Oh, you know, the usual. Shifted some furniture, located a missing costume, lit a candle stuck up Leonardo DiCaprio’s ass. Same old, same old.”

Annoyingly the internet has failed me and I can’t find an image from this particular scene. So instead I’ll have to finish with Margot Robbie and Leonardo DiCaprio in an alternative shot that has some fun fetishistic and femdom overtones.

Ball, balls and ball

I can’t claim to be a huge an of this ladies outfit – it smacks too much of motorbike magazine cover girl for me – but I do like what she’s done with this suspension. He’s been tied into a tight ball, then she has tied his balls up, and then she’s hung a metal ball from his balls. It’s a ball trifecta.

I’m also thinking that the soles of his feet are going to be awfully vulnerable in this position, and she still has that cane lying on the floor. Bastinado on top of suspension and CBT would be wonderfully evil.

This is originally from the Men in Pain site. I found it on the written in the water tumblr.

Turning points

Servitor has an occasional series of femdom themed image captions that he calls ‘Turning Points’. Unlike his normal captions, which are fairly explicit in their BDSM themes, this series is more about the potential for something to happen. As the title suggests, they capture a potential turning point in a relationship, a gateway for a shift from vanilla to femdom.

I like them a lot, but I also find them a touch bittersweet, even sad. This puzzled me. That’s not a usual reaction to hot femdom image captions. After some pondering I think I finally figured out the reason. It’s because they represent a moment that many submissive men desperately desire and yet never experience. Porn is ultimately always about fantasy. Almost all of it completely unrealistic. I might fantasize about being screwed in the locker room of my gym by aggressive naked ladies, but I haven’t spent a single second wondering if it’s ever going to happen. I know it’s not. Servitor’s turning point series hits a little closer to home. Many submissive guys are in vanilla relationships where either their partner isn’t interested in kink or they’re afraid to ask her about it. An evolution into femdom that comes from her is a fantasy that they’ve thought about for years. These images remind me of that fact and hence make me a little sad.

Mirror, mirror, on the dungeon wall

Mirrors are a common feature in playspaces. I think the idea is to allow people to watch the scene as well as be a part of it. They also allow the submissive to see the dominant even when he or she is attacking from the rear with a cane, a whip or a strap-on.

Personally they don’t do much for me. Watching a scene in a mirror can make me feel disconnected from it. It splits my attention and therefore diminishes my involvement. They can also make me oddly aware of just how strange the whole thing is. When I’m busy being wrapped in ropes, stuffed into hoods and strapped to furniture I’m very much in the moment. The energy of the scene and the intensity of the sensations dominate. Then if I glance up and see a naked guy in all sorts of BDSM paraphernalia I tend to have a disconcerting moment of “Who the fuck is that freaky looking guy? Oh, wait ….”

However, I do like the use of the mirror in this image. It’s part of their dynamic rather than being a voyeuristic device. It also gives the image viewer a chance to see both a rear shot and a face shot. I’m guessing they’d show up more often in porn if it wasn’t so difficult to get the shot lined up properly while simultaneously avoiding reflecting the lights or the photographer.

The image is originally from the Strapon Dreamer site.

Flirting with Mary Jane

According to this documentary footage smoking marijuana turns innocent young women into sex crazed dominatrices. I was not aware of this. Given that the state of Washington has recently legalized pot I guess I should prepare to be grabbed and ravished on any street corner. Loose fitting clothes would seem to be in order.

I actually don’t smoke myself. My collection of vices is already large enough without adding this one. I do have female friends who smoke, and thus far they’ve resisted the urge to pull on a catsuit and whip me. It’s probably too much effort when you’re high. Although I guess giggling a lot and telling confused rambling anecdotes can be a kind of torture for those who aren’t partaking in the evil weed.

The movie clip and image are from the 2005 musical version of Reefer Madness (based on the classic 1936 exploitation flick). The innocent/depraved Mary Lane is played by Kristen Bell.

What were they thinking?

This image was actually my original choice for my previous post about socks in femdom porn. I ended up not using it because I thought it would distract from the basic theme. His socks seemed to be the least of the problems on display.

Porn is notorious for staging scenes in odd uncomfortable places that nobody in their right mind would fuck in. A derelict building, on top of a pool table, halfway up a staircase, public restrooms. Anything is fair game to add a little spice and variety to a shoot. But who fantasies about screwing on an inflatable mattress in what looks like a messy garage? Who sets this scene up and thinks that a dirty soccer ball and some old buckets is just the thing to set the mood for pegging fans? Did nobody involved say “Hey, why don’t we spend a few minutes cleaning up before we start with the ass fucking?”

Socks

This post may meander past some odd topics but, unless things go radically off course, it will finish with some femdom. So stick around. Or not. Your call.

A few days ago, on my post about a boy who locked himself in his parents handcuffs, hmp commented that kids will find everything. I don’t have children, but my own childhood would certainly validate his comment. My parents didn’t have kinky toys, but they did have a couple of sex manuals, including the famously illustrated Joy of Sex. In the days before widespread consumer internet, and with no cable tv, this was my equivalent of kink.com cross with late night Cinemax. No matter where my parents hid it, and they certainly tried lots of places, I could always find it. It was like ESP, only with less ouija boards and more used tissues.

You’d think that reading an educational sex manual designed for loving couples would be good preparation for actually having sex. That it’d help me be a more caring and sensitive partner. And it’s true that I didn’t grow up thinking that a violent jack-hammering followed by semen all over their face was what most women were looking for. Sadly however, none of its wise words stuck with me when I (finally) encountered a real naked and eager woman. Absolutely the only thing I remembered was that it advised men to always take their socks off before removing their trousers (pants in the US) to avoid looking silly. I did that. I was very pleased with myself. My thought process was “Remember socks then trousers … remember socks then trousers … good job … looking pretty suave … naked lady … real naked lady … wow … errrr … is this the foreplay thingy? … I guess I lick … something … maybe …”

Even today when I’m getting naked with someone new, that memory comes back to me. I only wish a few more male porn models and photographers had read the same book, as silly looking naked men in socks crop up all the time. Just in the last few weeks my posts have featured this guy, this guy and this guy. The image below is another good case in point. Admittedly the Joy of Sex didn’t have anything to say about getting undressed when you’re about to be anally and orally penetrated on a couch by two women wielding strap-ons. Perhaps it would have given a pass in this situation, but I kind of doubt it.

This image is from the Girls Abuse Guys site. I found it on the Felm Cyber tumblr.