Checklists

Writing yesterday’s post about bucket lists reminded me of another type of list – the BDSM checklist. If you’re not familiar with the concept it’s basically a quick and easy way to build a list of activities that you’re interested in exploring or absolutely want to avoid. Typically they’re used as an aid to negotiating a scene, but I also like them to give me new ideas or reminders of things I haven’t tried for a while.

Back in the day – when kinksters had to get up half an hour before they went to bed and pay mill owner for privilege to come to work – you’d actually print out a list and mark off interests. These days you can build and share a profile online, no dead trees or leaky pens needed. For example, somebody recently sent me a link to the Kinkomatic site, which seems to have a pretty comprehensive list of activities, as well as a fairly slick interface for creating, sharing and finding lists. You can read more about it via their FAQ. Alternatively, if you’d rather go with an old school approach, there are plenty of  basic activities lists online you can search for (e.g. this one has 256 entries).

Talking of old school – this magazine cover would certainly qualify. Presumably this gentleman ticked 36 (chains), 40 (choking) and 134 (leather clothing) from this list. However, I don’t see any options for ‘wearing hideous y-fronts’ or ‘roleplaying being a really bad actor’.  No matter how long the list, it seems there are always a few popular kinks that get left off.

It’s all in the Mind

The NYT has a short but informative article  on the complex relationship between brain and body when it comes to pain. It’s tempting to think of the body as the source of all physical pain and the brain simply reporting on the signals it receives but, as the article explains, it’s a lot more complicated than that. As every masochist already knows, and doctors are learning, pain is contextual, and the reprocessing that happens in the brain can make a big difference to the perception of the sensation.

I also found it interesting that the article draws a connection with itching. Ever since I got involved in kink, I’ve been fascinated by how that phenomena can be modified by my situation. In normal circumstances I find it almost impossible to not scratch a bad itch. The more I resist doing so, the greater the intensity and the compulsion to resolve it. I can’t think of anything else. Yet once in bondage, itches fade away. It’s almost like my brain has a switch it can flip – if I physically can’t fix the itch then no point bugging me about it. I’ve never had to stop play to get an itch scratched. But when the ropes or straps come off, any irritation immediately returns.

This lady is about to administer a two for one deal – pain and itching combined, thanks to a big bundle of stinging nettles. This is obviously originally from Femme Fatale Films.

Enjoy the Glove

I think this is one of those images that’s both not pornographic and yet incredibly sexual all at the same time. There’s just a pair of gloves, a glimpse of a shoulder and a sleeved arm, yet it conjures in the imagination all manner deliciously dirty invasive medical fantasies. I can almost hear the snap as the glove is pulled tightly into place. Take a deep breath as this might hurt … quite a lot.

This is by Mistress Sade, an NYC based pro-domme. You can find her social media feed here and session information here.

Vintage Whipping

A final post to finish my trio of vintage images. This comes courtesy of this tweet by Pitt Prickel. It’s apparently a scene from the early 1930’s. For me it has the feel of an artists studio – as though it might be models posing for a picture or a sculpture. There’s a real sense of physicality and solidity to the scene. Almost like a statue from the classical era of Greece or Rome.

John Willie

In writing yesterday’s post I stumbled across this page, featuring a series of photographs by John Willie. I primarily knew about Willie as an artist via his famous Sweet Gwendoline series. I hadn’t realized quite what a talented and prolific photographer he’d been. The photographs featured have a surprisingly modern feel to their kinky dynamic. Perhaps the biggest difference is in the type of rope used and the style of bondage. These days everyone has access to fancy dyed bondage rope and tutorials on artistic knots and fancy rigging techniques. Back in the 40’s and the 50’s they were figuring it out for themselves as they went along.

If you’re a fan of his imagery, you might like to know there’s a hardcover book of his photographs available. I’ve just ordered a copy for myself. It’ll sit nicely on my bookshelf next to Eric Kroll’s book on Eric Stanton.

Ostra Studios

Fans of vintage erotica might want to check out the Ostra Studio site. It features the work of Jacques and Charles Biederer, two brothers from Czechoslovakia, who produced a large number of erotic and fetish photographs in Paris in the 1930’s.

There’s a tendency to think of fetish art and photography beginning in the 1950’s with the likes of John Willie, Irving Klaw, Eric Stanton, etc. The images of bondage, domination and fetish wear on the Ostra Studio site show that the Biederer brothers were in fact ahead of them by 20 years.

The Biederer brothers were killed by the Nazi’s in Auschwitz in 1942. If you want to support sharing their amazing photography with the world, then check out this link.

#IWD

It was International Women’s Day on Friday. I have a good deal of sympathy for Miss Pearl’s point of view, expressed via this tweet

The next person who tries to particularly make #InternationalWomensDay about #femdom is getting a lecture on fetishism of power not being inherently empowering.

If there’s going to be at least one day that isn’t about what excites men’s dicks, this would seem like a good one to start with.

On the other hand, I did really like this IWD tagged tweet from Lucy SweetKill, featuring her, Dia Dynasty, the image below and the following quote from Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

Of course I am not worried about intimidating men. The type of man who will be intimidated by me is exactly the type of man I have no interest in.

I’m therefore going to claim for the purposes of this post, I’m like the telephone company, simply a transparent conduit for information. I put this all before you, make of it what you will.

Failing to Read the Room

Like most bloggers I get my fair share of emails pitching advertising, paid content and guest posts. Normally I junk them as fast as they arrive, but one caught my eye today. Its opening paragraph, designed to prevent me applying my usual whack-a-mole approach, ran as follows:

….before you decide to stop reading, let me assure you that we don’t dabble in pornographic content of any kind, and therefore won’t make any indecent proposals.

Wow. Did they misread the room. I guess it worked, because I did keep reading to find out who’d be stupid enough to send a sexual explicit blog that kind of opening. They even ended up with their own post, albeit without any kind of link or name. Personally I’d love to get a few indecent proposals. I think my life has been sadly lacking in them.

In honor of my new puritanical email friends, I’ll close with an entirely non-pornographic image. This is a simple head shot, with no naughty naked bodies in view. Just a very nice lady whispering sweet nothings into her beau’s ear. Nothing indecent about that.

This is of course from the Divine Bitches site.

There is More to the Story

Regular readers will probably be aware who Mistress T is. A prolific producer of Femdom porn and a kinky blogger, I’ve featured her on this site multiple times in past posts (e.g. here, here, here, etc.) Now she’s added another string to her bow as the author of her autobiography – There is More to the Story. I’ve just finished reading it and thought my readers might appreciate a review. The short version is that it’s an extremely entertaining and fast read that kept me eagerly flipping pages right to the end. If that isn’t enough to get you to hit the “Buy Now” button,  then read on.

It’s probably worth starting with what the book is not about. It’s not an analysis of kink, D/s or why her clients are into the fantasies she creates. Nor is it a guide to repeating her success as a femdom content creator. Anyone looking at the ‘how’ or ‘why’ of professional femdom should look elsewhere. Instead it’s a very revealing and personal reflection on the life of a complex, curious and kinky woman who happens to have ended up as a femdom porn producer.

Mistress T isn’t a professional writer, but she is a talented amateur one, and the anecdotes and stories she has to tell zip past the reader at an astonishing rate. It bounces from dodging white slavers in Thailand to taking ayahuasca in South America. From stripping in Canadian mining towns to shooting BDSM porn for some of the biggest producers in California. There are challenging relationships, a difficult childhood and messy breakups. Not to mention the peep shows, poop scenes and angry monkeys (fortunately not all at the same time). It’s probably fortunate that Mistress T chose to keep the story moving at a rapid pace. With this wealth of material, a writer given to endless scene setting and self-analysis would have produced something of a length to rival Game of Thrones (albeit with less violence and more sex).

For me, while I enjoyed reading about some of the more outlandish situations Mistress T finds herself in, what really stood out was how much she shared about her life. The book’s title is well chosen. I’m sure it would have been easier to string together some entertaining stories and sell another version of her Mistress T persona. Instead she’s honest about the emotional challenges she’s faced and the toll they’ve often taken. I’m sure it took a lot of courage to share those details, and its those sections that really give the book its heart. She also does a great job of closing the circle and pulling everything together in the final chapters.

Criticisms? Just two minor ones. I’d have been tempted to more tightly edit the sections on working vanilla jobs and expand the later sections on her as Mistress T. The problems of crappy low paid jobs and messy love affairs have been tackled by many great writers, but managing a complex personal life whilst also becoming a successful business woman producing kinky porn is a less well trodden path. I also found it slightly odd she chose to pick fake names for some of the production companies she worked with. Anyone vaguely interested in femdom porn will quickly work out who/what she’s talking about, so it doesn’t add much other than momentary confusion. Perhaps that was done under legal advice?

You can pick up a copy of ‘There is More to the Story’ at Amazon in either kindle or paperback form. I absolutely recommend that you do. It’s one of the best autobiographies I’ve read from someone in the adult entertainment business.

You can read more from Mistress T on her blog and purchase her porn here.

My ‘To Do’ List

This image dates from 1941 and was created in protest of the Hays Production Code. It featured ten of the hot button items that films of the day had to avoid. Amusingly, smoking wasn’t one of them, so that dangling cigarette in her lips was just an artistic touch. A glimpse of lacy lingerie on an exposed thigh was apparently much more dangerous.

According to Wikipedia the code ultimately expanded to around 25 different problem areas, which would be tough to fit into a single photographic still. However, looking back at the list now, any random episode of Narco’s probably covers a significant fraction of them.

This image was created by A. L. “Whitey” Schafer. You can read more about him here. I found it via this tweet.