Kissing the ring

The New York Magazine has published a new article on rimming entitled ‘Warning: A Column on Butt Play’. I’m not quite sure what the ‘warning’ part of the title is for. Given the highly descriptive second part of the title, and the photograph of naked butts that accompanies it, that would seem to be warning enough.

I was a little surprised to see an article on anilingus in a mainstream publication. I was really amazed (and pleased) to discover that it also referenced cock and ball torture. And not only referenced it, but did so in a very casual off-hand fashion…

“It’s like the guy who asks you to hold his balls and then is like, ‘Maybe squeeze a little, maybe? … Harder, maybe? … Harder! Harder! Harder!’ Until suddenly you’re like, ‘Wait, you’re totally into cock-and-ball torture.’ You really want me to stomp on your nuts; you just don’t know how to ask.’ ”

Unfortunately the article finishes with some silly logic about the dominant or submissive characteristic of specific sexual acts. These kind of assumptions always annoy me. Giving a blowjob or rimming someone (or PIV or pegging or whatever) can be submissive, dominant or just sexy fun times. It depends on the context, the people involved and their dynamic. Who and what gets licked, nibbled or sucked is kind of irrelevant.

Angelica from x-art

The image is from x-art and features the model Angelica.

What’s in a name?

I’m always intrigued by the names porn sites choose. There’s such an broad range from the effective through the banal to the terrible.

Some of the femdom names I like includes Cruella (puts me in mind of evil Disney queens), Femme Fatale Films (descriptive and creative), Strapon Dreamer (explicit yet whimsical) and The English Mansion (brings to mind governesses, nannies and haughty ladies in jodhpurs). In the banal group I’d put things like Men In Pain, CBT and Ballbusting, Young Dommes, etc. They do exactly what it says on the tin, but there’s not a lot of imagination involved. Then there’s the ones that just make you go ‘huh?’ For example, Ballbusting Chicks (Chicks? Really?), Mean Dungeon (too anthropomorphic), Men are Slaves (seems kind of broad), Lethal Lipstick (sounds like a bad B movie) and anything involving the word bitches.

The image below is from Brutal Facesitting. Those are not two words that really belong together. And does anyone here look like they’re being brutalized? Give the dictionary definition of ‘savagely violent’ I would say not. I can’t see savagely violent cunnilingus being a winning technique for anyone.

Image from Brutal Facesitting

The thrill-clit cult

The title sounds like something from a Russ Meyer movie, but it’s actually from a Gawker article on a practice known as Orgasm Meditation (OM). It’s not femdom at all, but I thought it’d be interesting to my readers. After all, they’re from a community that tends to focus on orgasm frequency, either limiting male ones or promoting female ones. Plus, I can actually tie the whole thing back to BDSM indirectly.

The OM practice is summarized as…

The woman removes the clothing from her lower half, and only from that half. The partner—the stroker, typically a man—remains fully dressed. The lights stay on. Over the course of 15 minutes, timed, the partner rubs the upper left quadrant of the woman’s clitoris, and she surrenders to involuntary sensation.

The ‘interesting’ bit is that partner in this case doesn’t refer to a romantic connection. It could be someone you just met. Someone you’re working with. A friend. It’s sold as type of meditation, a way to bond and a way to feel good about yourself. The driving force behind it is a company called One Taste, which comes off in the article as a cross between a cult, a commune, a therapy provider, a tech start-up and a sex club. Much as I like the idea of more orgasms in the world, I can’t say the article inspired me to get involved with them.

The connection I can make back to BDSM is that they relate the benefits of OM to the release of oxytocin. That’s a hormone that’s often associated with subspace and the high that comes from an intense BDSM scene. Both OM and BDSM are ways to hack the brain to deliver it. A psychiatrist in the article claims that the only things that can match OM for triggering oxytocin release are childbirth or breastfeeding. I wonder if she ever studied bondage, whipping and ball spanking? Probably not.

Oral sex and nipple torture

This image of a couple bonding in their own particular way comes from Mean Dungeon. I found it on the Geek Domme tumblr. It seems to combine two excellent ways to generate oxytocin – pain for him and an orgasm for her.

A lick and a look

I’m not a huge fan of tumblrs that automatically treat oral sex as a D/s act. Sometimes sex is just sex, and there’s no reason to impose a dominant dynamic on it. Everyone enjoys having soft wet squidgy bits rubbed on their genitals.

That said, it is an act that often lends itself to the D/s fantasy. This image is a great case in point. Her look really makes the image work for me. It’s very knowing.

Ass Licking
I found this on the Loves to Lick tumblr.

I expect you to die!

The pose below shouts Bond villain to me. I can just imagine her murmuring – “Excellent. Excellent……The plan is unfolding exactly on schedule”. Except instead of a white pussy to stroke, she has a male minion on the case. And the location looks more like a living room than a hollowed out volcano.

To my recollection there has only been one significant female Bond Villain – Rosa Klebb. There have been plenty of femme fatales (as I listed in this previous post) but a sad lack of major female villains. Hopefully they can put that right in future films.

Dr Evil Pose

The image is originally from Femdom Empire. I found it via the forBABALON tumblr.

The post title, should you not recognize an absolutely classic line, is taken from a scene in Goldfinger. Although it’s not my favorite Bond villain witticism. That would be Hugo Drax’s line to his henchman – “Look after Mr. Bond. See that some harm comes to him. “

Something for the weekend

Specifically a few animated GIFs. I think it’s amusing how animated GIFs have gone in and out of fashion. They were initially and briefly wildly popular in the 90’s thanks to Netscape and the novelty factor. Then they were horribly passé and a sign of a web page amateur. Now, a decade or so later, have now made a mini comeback. As the Oatmeal says, it’s kind of cool. Plus, their looping style makes them ideal for porn!

The animations below have more of a sexual and sensual theme than the S&M slanted ones I usually feature. I hope you enjoy them. As usual I’m hosting only a still frame from the sequence. Click through on the image to go to the tumblr page with the animation on it.

On Top
Leg Over
Dining Out
Eye Contact
Choke Fuck
After

The dominant act

Several times in the past I’ve got involved in on-line arguments over what constitutes a dominant act. My view has always been that almost anything can be a dominant act. Context is king. The opposing view has been that sexual activities like handjobs or blowjobs cannot be a dominant act. They are always inherently a submissive act.

This opposing viewpoint is one advanced by some pro-dommes, and I do get where they’re coming from. They have to navigate a bunch of legal and personal boundaries, and set expectations for their clients. It’s much easier for them if the set of things globally recognized as dominant acts is equal to the set of things the majority of pro-dommes offer. That removes uncertainty and shifts the discussion from personal limits to external predefined cultural limits. But while I understand the desire to do this, I don’t agree with the definition. A dominant act is whatever a dominant chooses to do in each unique situation.

The lady below might be kneeling to give him a blowjob, but I don’t think there’s any question who’s in charge. I think it was particularly nice of her to bring her big knife in case he uses his safeword and she has to cut him free. Being able to free a bound partner quickly is all part of safe, sane and consensual kink!

Bound Blowjob by DruunaThe image is by the artist Paolo Eleuteri Serpieri and is from his Druuna series. You can find more images at the official homepage.

The bad sex awards can go fuck themselves

I flew in to a wet Seattle from sunny Las Vegas today, minus lots of dollars (due to food/drink not gambling), and plus a stuffy head cold. Not my most fun flight ever. Matters didn’t improve when I booted up my laptop and spotted a bunch of articles on the Bad Sex in Fiction Award. I can’t express how much I hate that prize and the attitude of those associated with it.

It doesn’t get a lot of play in the US, but it’s widely covered in certain segments of the UK press. They love the excuse to publish sexually explicit quotes from the nominees and snigger about them. If you’ve never heard of it before the stated rationale is…

to draw attention to the crude, tasteless, often perfunctory use of redundant passages of sexual description in the modern novel, and to discourage it

As far as I can tell this means picking on writing that actually tries to detail the physical act of sex, rather than coyly drifting the camera towards the bedroom curtains as the lovers embrace on the bed. There’s certainly an excess of amusing metaphors, strained similes and overly ornate prose in some of the nominees, but little that matches their stated criteria. You can read a sample from this years winner here. I’m not particularly a fan, but really? That’s the best bad sex writing they could find? They should get out more.

The whole exercise strikes me as puritanical and condescending. If they had any guts they’d publish a Good Sex in Fiction Award for particularly interesting, stimulating and relevant sexual descriptions. That would at least be constructive. Unfortunately praising something as complex and revealing as sexual writing is personally exposing, so I doubt these prudish jackasses will ever do something that risky.

I’ve no idea what the appropriate image to accompany this post should be. So I’ll switch it around and publish something that looks like particularly good sex. Or at least something very clearly being enjoyed by at least one of the participants.

Mirror shot
I found this on the Desire and Devotion tumblr.

Good nose, a fruity body and a long lingering finish

The US media has recently been having fun with a story about college students ‘butt chugging’. For those of you that missed this vital news feature, it started with a Tennessee student being hospitalized with alcohol poisoning, after allegedly having a wine enema. Of course this being the US, the story quickly spun out of control, adding religion, lawyers and press conferences into the mix. And while it sounds exactly like the kind of stupid thing a frat house might try, the media also has a reputation for making up ridiculous scare stories about alcohol and young people.

I’m sure most people regarded this story either as an amusing freakshow or as a sign of America’s moral decline. However, I suspect there might have been a few of my readers thinking to themselves – “What a brilliant idea! I like alcohol. I like enemas. Let’s crack that bottle of ’96 Burgundy we were saving for a special occasion!” If you are thinking exactly that, then firstly please don’t use a ’96 Burgundy. That would be a crime against grapes, and probably an arrestable offense in France. Secondly, please be careful. As this older news story makes clear, it can be a lethal activity. Drinking alcohol has the natural limits of vomiting and unconsciousness. It’s pretty hard to order another round of shooters when you’re face down in a puddle of your own stomach contents. That doesn’t apply to a tube and an enema bag, so lethally poisoning yourself is much easier.

For all those enema fans who play safely, here’s a nice image from the artist known as German. While enemas are not my favorite kinky activity, I think I’d be willing to give the scene below a try should I ever get the opportunity.

Enema