Communication Skills

Being a good submissive masochist is a lot harder than I ever thought it would be. Back in the days when it was all still fantasy I assumed you just did what you were told and cried uncle (or pineapple or your safeword of choice) if it hurt too much. The reality turns out to be a little trickier than that.

One of the skills I’ve slowly acquired over the last few years is figuring out when to step outside a scene to communicate additional information. When I started this always felt like a very bad thing to do. The perfect submissive shouldn’t suffer from cramps, or pinching ropes, or panic attacks. It was a sign of weakness or failure if I did. Fortunately I’ve since learnt and been taught (by some great dommes) that this is a fairly naive point of view. The goal is intentional controlled pain. Not random stuff that the domme doesn’t even know about. To remain focused and to get into the right headspace requires good communication, allowing the domme to remove unintended distractions. A few minutes to adjust a rope or flex a limb can make the world of difference to the overall success of a scene.

Ironically one of things I’ve never needed to do is to stop a scene because it hurt too much. This certainly isn’t due to any great fortitude on my part. Instead it’s a tribute to the skill and judgement of the dommes I’ve played with. The closest I ever got to it was when paying with clover clamps, like the one in the image below. In that case Lady Lydia had dabbed a decent amount of icy/hot onto both clamps before applying them and then tying them off taut. The combination of the chemicals and the clamps was intense, and there was a short period where it almost seemed too much. Fortunately I was so surprised at the idea of actually having to say something that it distracted me long enough for the pain to become manageable. In hindsight it was a little like learning to fly HHGTTG style. I was so surprised at how much it hurt I forgot to actually be hurt. A neat trick when you can pull it off.

Clover ClampI found this image on the Superior Femme tumblr site.

Inspiring a little creativity

There was a study in the news recently that claimed that negative feedback would inspire more creativity than positive feedback. Those given positive feedback during a task felt better at the end of it but created less interesting work as a result.

If that’s the case then the gentleman below better prepare for a burst of creativity. I have a feeling she’s planning to inspire him. Somebody should push a paintbrush into his hand.

Of course it’s quite likely he’s a masochist, and will enjoy it. Which I guess would make him less creative. Hmmm. These things always end up more complicated than you expect.

InterrogationI found this on the Kinky Games tumblr site. The watermark URL doesn’t go anywhere interesting, but I assume it must be something to do with this site originally.

Quirky Smile

This image is entitled ‘Thigh Caning’ which should tell you all you need to know about the reason for her smile. It looks like she’s thinking “Hmmm, he’s making some funny noises. I wonder if I should pull his arms a little higher or try beating him a little harder? Or perhaps both…..”

Although I suspect in that position his knees and feet will be hurting him almost as much as his thighs. Probably the cruelest thing she could do would be to leave him tied in position and simply watch as the pain slowly builds.

Thigh CaningI found the image in this post on the Whipping Mistress blog (written in Japanese). It’s obviously originally from the Captive Male site.

Sophisticated Nipple Torture

Here’s another pair of images from a Japanese femdom blog. These are from the kazowk88 blog and were obviously shot a little more recently than the vintage images from a couple of days ago.

I’m not entirely familiar with the equipment, but it looks like some sort of suction pump that’s being used to stretch his nipples in the first shot. Then in the second shot she appears to have placed an elasticator around the stretched nipple, holding it engorged and taut. That may hurt a little when it’s in place, but I’m guessing it’ll be agony when it comes off.

I do like the casually dangling cigarette. It makes me think of a mechanic or workman going about a job, and adds a nice hint of objectification.

Nipple TortureNipple Torture

I heart you

This is a sketch by the artist known as Vernice61. He’s featured here in the past, and you can see a whole collection of his drawings over at the Mistress Fantasy blog.

I like his work a lot. The women always looks very calm and in control, and he’s never shy about stuffing all sorts of tortuous ideas into a single drawing. In this case we have inverted suspension bondage, some nipple torture, a hood plus gag and what looks like a large needle about to inserted into the scrotum. However, what really caught my eye about this image was the little hearts emanating from the slaves head. Weird, but kind of cute.

Vernice61 Artwork

Oh, snap!

I’ve never played with rubber bands, but I think I’m going to have to add them onto my ‘to do’ list. I image there’s a nice building sense of tension and anticipation once the band is stretched back. A whip or cane comes as a strike out of the blue, but with a band you can see the energy just waiting to be released.

The domme is Mistress Varla, and the image is taken from this K is for Kink scene. There’s a short video clip also available, with a very entertaining shot of one of the bands being applied at speed.

Incidentally, if you’ve never played with this kind of plastic wrap, I can definitely recommend give it a try. It’s a really easy way to mummify someone and create a sense of heavy bondage without lots of expensive gear. It also shrinks slightly as it warms, which can create interesting effects over a lengthy play session. I’m not sure exactly what type is being used here, but I know the stuff they using for wrapping boxes on pallets works very well.

Mistress Varla with rubber bands

Nipple Nibbles

I have three excellent reasons for this particular image post. Firstly, it features biting and nipple torture, which rank high in my list of favourite activities. Secondly, the lady doing the biting is Mistress Natsukiss. As I’ve commented here in the past, I find her a very captivating domme. There’s certainly no shortage of beautiful dominant women on this blog (and others), but there’s something about her attitude that gives me, in the best possible way, a shiver up the spine. Finally, I noticed that HMP had posted that it was his birthday, and I know he’s a man who appreciates some good nipple torment. So here you go, a beautiful birthday bite.

Nipple BitingI found this image on the Gorean Kajirus tumblr site.

Housekeeping

I’ve done some tidying of links on the site.

Over on the right I’ve dropped a few blogs that were no longer being updated and fixed the link Ms Sade’s blog (which was there but broken). I’ve also added a link to wicked inamorata, a lifestyle blog written by a dominant women looking after her sissy Christie.

On the image link page I’ve removed a dead link (the 7 fetishes site seems to have vanished), and added six new links. These are Coisa, Femdom Style Counsel, Pegtastic, Becoming Nathalie, bendoverboyfriend and Gorean Kajirus.

Nipple TormentImage is from the Coisa tumblr site, an image blog specializing in pictures of dominant Asian women. A topic which, I have to admit, is particularly close to my heart.

A handful

Here’s a mistress with a very satisfied expression on her face. I like to imagine that as she tightens her grip, her smile is only going to get wider.

The pegs on his nipples are kind of cute. Although the last time someone tried these kind of pegs on me, I was surprised at how mild they were. These look dramatic, but it’s the little sharp clips that hurt way more.

Handful I found this on the Femdom Style Counsel tumblr site. I don’t see an original attribution anywhere, but I’m going to guess it’s from one of the kink.com sites.

Vernice61 Art

This rather wonderful pencil drawing is from an artist known as Vernice61 who, based on the speech bubbles, I assume is Italian. Using the Google translate tool, I can just about figure out what is being said. The woman on the right of the victim is saying something about standing still, while the woman on the left is saying “Now you can see how we treat inept servants.” The woman on the sofa is instructing the maid to join her daughters and apply the electrical device to the balls, while the seated man is pleading “Please ladies, I beg not the electrical tool.”

Vernice61 Femdom ImageThere are a number of his drawings available on this thread on the snail meilk site. That thread also includes the full size version of this image, which is 3MB+ in it’s original form. Unfortunately I can’t find any more permanent sites hosting his work at present. It looks like he had a deviant art site at one time, but that’s now dead. If anyone can point me at a homepage, or any kind of more permanent location for his work than an image board, I’d be very grateful.